I never wanted to be in the "in" crowd in school. We had different groups in school but we all knew who the "in" crowd was. Some people wanted in and others, like myself, were happy being ourselves and not "fitting" in. I had individual friends who were part of the group and I always thought they didn't march to the beat of their drummer...they kinda went along with the crowd. Many conversations with them seemed like that wasn't a very happy place either.
Today it seems much the same. Where do you live? How big is your house? What kind of car will you drive? What label do your clothes have? Etc. Etc. Still, as a hairdresser, I do a lot of teens hair. Some are the "cool" kids and some aren't. The happiest kids seem to be true to themselves.
This is all JMO. Just what I have observed and been told by the kids...