Ok, strange question: is it rude to ask for salt and pepper??

[LindsayDunn228]

I know this is a strange question, but I was just wanting some DIS opinions.

As I have mentioned before, my MIL is not a great cook. Everything is either over- or undercooked. Examples: baked potatoes you can't even "mash", you have to eat them with a knife and fork; BLACKENED burgers; pink chicken (sorry, I just have to politely refuse that one, or make it look like I've eaten some); etc.

Anyway, her food always seems like it isn't seasoned with anything. No big deal, you can just add some salt and pepper at the table. Why is that so hard, you ask? She never EVER has salt and pepper at the table.

I think that's strange for a few reasons. One, what is plenty salty for me may not be for someone else. So have S&P at the table. I may not have gotten enough on my food while cooking and tell people they will probably need to salt and pepper it. So have S&P at the table. I don't know, maybe I am just a strange hostess, but when it comes to having a meal at my house, I want everyone to be happy. So I make sure I tell them I have things available too if they want them: extra sweetner for their tea, a refill, more bread in the oven, etc.

So my question: would it be rude to ask for salt and pepper at her house? I just wonder if I asked every single time that she or my FIL might catch on that I don't dig her cooking

Anyone else have wierd MIL cooking/serving stories??

NOTE: This is NOT a big deal at all, was just thinking this morning and thought I would get some DIS opinions

 

[kristen821]

I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me for salt and pepper so I don't think it is rude.

 

[Sleepy]

My grandmother did not even like the idea of ketchup. She said if you wanted to taste ketchup, why bother eating meat on the bun. Of course, she always had salt and pepper and did not mid people using that. Personally, I think pepper is needed for everything. Salt is important too especially when dealing with things like fresh green beans and potatoes. I don't care if people use salt and pepper on the things I make. I use it too. Doesn't mean the food is bad, just means it is missing something from your personal preference.

To add....I don't think this is strictly a MIL topic. Everyone cooks differently.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

In the case of family, I would casually ask for the salt/pepper, or whatever other seasononing you might like (my DH and DS likes Mrs Dash on baked potatoes) or just get it myself without saying anything. If anything is said to you you can always just blame it on yourself, "Yeah, I tend to like food more seasoned than a lot of people", even if that's not at all true.

I don't think that you should be asking it to show that you don't like her cooking, however. That seems rather rude, even though she seems like a pretty cook. Can you invite them to your house more often. Or at least often to bring part of the meal when you go to their house?

My MIL also doesn't season food very much, but for her it's more of a planned thing since she tries to watch the salt intake and she is the type to make a comment if I were to try to add salt. Thankfully I've cut back on how salty I like food compared to how I was raised eating food (VERY salty). Since my MIL lives on the other side of the country it's rarely an issue and when she does cook she makes BIG meals, which are a treat even if they aren't seasoned perfectly, so I can't complain too much.

My two favorite stories from her are her not washing salad greens enough one time and having gritty salad, which totally grossed me out. You know how some things can really get some people and not others? Well, grit gets me!

The other was when she was visiting and we were having dried beans in something and she was helping me prepare them to cook. I asked her to sort them (she wanted to help), but I didn't supervise her and she thought it was bunk that a person would have to sort beans for rocks, etc. So of course we had rocks in the beans. I guess she thought I was making it up.

 

[T16GEM]

I don't think it would offend me, I don't usually put salt and pepper in my cooking really just so that people can season their food to their taste, I wouldn't worry about it.

 

[VanniGirl]

I don't think asking for salt & pepper is rude - go ahead and ask

As for MILs that cannot cook - my ex's mother could win prizes for disguising what the food started as

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I don't think that you should be asking it to show that you don't like her cooking, however. That seems rather rude, even though she seems like a pretty cook. Can you invite them to your house more often. Or at least often to bring part of the meal when you go to their house?

Oh please don't misunderstand!!! That's not what I'm doing!! I'm asking for it because I really need it to make the food good. I said I didn't want them to be offended for me asking every single time I eat there. I'm not asking for it to prove a point or anything.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

So my question: would it be rude to ask for salt and pepper at her house? I just wonder if I asked every single time that she or my FIL might catch on that I don't dig her cooking

I know I'm quoting myself here, but I just reread that and it does sound like I'm being rude. But no, my goal is for them NOT to to catch on that I don't dig the food.

 

[JennyMominRI]

I don't think it's rude at all

 

[Poohnatic]

I wouldn't be offended-I don't think most people would be. That said, it's better to ask AFTER you've had a bite. Even though you know it won't be seasoned. You've given it a try, and you'd like to add some.

I could go on all day about my exMIL's cooking. Canned ham cooked with the aspic on it. Hamburger helper without draining the grease. Chicken with no seasoning, just a 'dibby dab' of bbq sauce on top. My MIL now is a much better cook, fortunately.

Suzanne

 

[Marseeya]

I got what you were asking.

I don't think it's rude in general, although they do say it's rude to ask for s&p in an upscale restaurant.

I think, and I could be wrong, that it's rude in Asian restaurants or with their families. I had a Japanese friend who'd said something to that effect and it made me paranoid, so I never salt my food in Chinese or Japanese restaurants, although with all the MSG, I usually don't need to.

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

My parents weren't in the habit of keeping salt and pepper on the table. They just didn't want us to get into the habit of always using it, especially salt. Now, I have an exceedingly low blood pressure (the docs usually ask, "How are you alive?") and am required to put salt on just about everything!

With us, if it was something my parent forgot when others were over, they were never offended when someone asked. Much of the time, mom would get up and get it from the spice cupboard when she noticed she'd forgotten it. With your MIL, I would ask if you're already seated and have had a bite. Or, offer to help with dinner and set the table for her. Ask where the salt and pepper was so that you could put it on the table. If she makes some kind of remark, then swipe a few from McD's and stick them in your purse. Next time you need it, she doesn't have it on the table or won't allow you to put it on the table, pull it out of your purse.

Is there anyway around this.... if you don't eat with her regularly, could you just invite her out to eat or suggest you go out to eat as as a family? The pink chicken scares me. That's not good! Although you might have noticed, the kids may have not and could have eaten it... heck, she should not be eating that.

Is she very old? Or having trouble with mental capacities? To the point that she's not really functioning living on her own? Has she always cooked like this or is it something that's developed more recently? Just asking becuase my brothers adoptive parents are to the point where they're a danger to themselves and we are in the process of trying to get them out of the house and into senior care. This sounds a lot like what was going on with his mom. She recently left a burner on that began to melt the mounted microwave above. It was milimeters from wires that would have started an enormous electrical fire... and they tried to put it (melting and burning plastic of the microwave) out with a fire extinguisher and then attempted to use it. Incredibly scary.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Oh please don't misunderstand!!! That's not what I'm doing!! I'm asking for it because I really need it to make the food good. I said I didn't want them to be offended for me asking every single time I eat there. I'm not asking for it to prove a point or anything.

As long as that isn't your goal, that's fine. And maybe she'll realize that some seasoning isn't a bad idea. It doesn't even have to be salt if they are watching their sodium. And most people either have s/p on the table or at least nearby that someone car grab.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

My parents weren't in the habit of keeping salt and pepper on the table. They just didn't want us to get into the habit of alwyas using it, especially salt. Now, I have an exceedingly low blood pressure (the docs usually ask, "How are you alive?") and am require to put salt on just abotu everything!

You'd think in the household that I was raised in with the salt that we dumped on our food that we would have high BP, but my mother's is very low, as is mine. Low to the point of almost falling over and getting dizzy on rides. Thank goodness we didn't have high BP with the way my mother dumped salt on everything. I've also gotten the "Are you alive comment?" from drs.

 

[Stacerita]

Its not rude to ask for salt and pepper. I will generally have pepper on the table, but I normally dont keep salt on the table. I do that for health issues of family members. If they ask for it, I will get it for them. But I dont make it easy for them to just keep adding salt.

 

[froglady]

I usually have salt and pepper on the table; DD gave me a lovely set for Christmas. I'm also in the habit of putting butter, (or a substitute) ketchup, steak sauce, salad dressings, etc on the table, depending upon the menu. I never use steak sauce, etc, but provide it for those who might.

Salt and pepper shakers are on the table at most restaurants; why wouldn't someone provide them at home, or be offended if someone asked for them?

 

[Randi]

I wouldn't be offended, but embarrassed. I don't even have salt in the house. Hate the taste, I think it overpowers the taste of food, and my son is on a low sodium diet now anyway.
We do have pepper, and other no-salt seasonings and I put out an assortment on the table.

 

[Beth76]

I believe ettiquette dictates that you must taste the food before salting/peppering it. I suppose that doesn't exactly pertain to your situation since it's not even at the table. I don't think it's rude at all to ask. I think it's more rude to not offer it. I always tell my guests to let me know if there's some sort of condiment they would like.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

I wouldn't be offended, but embarrassed. I don't even have salt in the house. Hate the taste, I think it overpowers the taste of food, and my son is on a low sodium diet now anyway.
We do have pepper, and other no-salt seasonings and I put out an assortment on the table.

Do you ever have anyone else dine at your table besides you and your son?? What might be overpowering the food to you may taste hideously bland to a guest. And sometimes the no-salt seasonings just don't cut it.

I don't think it's rude at all to ask. I think it's more rude to not offer it. I always tell my guests to let me know if there's some sort of condiment they would like.

Glad someone else does this too.

I will tell you a good one. Last year I had my father and stepmother over for dinner. My stepmother is a huge no aspartame nazi and won't eat real sugar, only Splenda. So I made a pitcher of tea with Splenda and told her I had extra packets if it needed more. Ten minutes into the meal she gets up from the table, leaves the room, comes back with her purse and pulls out a Ziploc bag of Slenda packets and adds more to her tea. I was so I couldn't even respond to that one.

 

[JuneChickie]

I don't think its rude at all. I don't season my cooking with salt or pepper when cooking . But I do make sure I have it on the table for those that would like to spice the food up a bit. And I don't consider them rude for doing that. Actually I take it
as a compliment that they ate it and said afterwords ,,""good dinner , June" ..
I am one of those that puts catsup on a steak and my hubby gets all huffy ,, says
thats ruining a good steak,, to me its a seasoning just like salt and pepper is.