Ok So This Christmas I discovered...

[GOOFY4DONALD]

...that my DH is 1/4 Jewish. He didn't even know. It was kind of spoken in passing at my FIL's house. FIL apparently knew but never thought about it twice. I think that family history is so important and I know where all of my relatives came from and I am always looking for new info. Seems that DH's family couldn't care less about their ansestors and how they ended up in the US. After much research I learned that my DH's grandmother came to America from Russia as a small child. Her family was Jewish but she chose not to marry a Jewish man she married my DH's grandfather and together they did not practice any religion. My FIL and his sibs celebrated Christmas and other Christian holidays and spent them with family but never added the religious aspect to any of it. I find this so sad. Now here is my delima....

I feel that it is importanat for a child to learn all about where they came from. Is it appropriate for me to learn about the Jewish religion and include my children so they can learn about their heritage. If it not appropriate how can my kids learn?

 

[*Seanaci*]

I'm all for teaching your children about their heritage. Especially if it's important to you. So yes, I think it is appropriate for you to learn about the Jewish religion along with your children.

However, you should also include your DH in this decision. If he doesn't want the kids to lean about their heritage and thus the Jewish Religion, then don't push it. Just keep living life as you've been living it.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I'm all for teaching your children about their heritage. Especially if it's important to you. So yes, I think it is appropriate for you to learn about the Jewish religion along with your children.

However, you should also include your DH in this decision. If he doesn't want the kids to lean about their heritage and thus the Jewish Religion, then don't push it. Just keep living life as you've been living it.

Thanks. My DH has no negative feeling about it. He was never given that choice. My FIL and his sibs were never given a choice either. Not one family member knows anyting about the Jewish faith (DH's grandma passed away many years ago). They are not Atheist but they do not feel religion is important. They also do not feel knowing one's heritage is omportant. So DH wouldn't have any objection...just no opinion.

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

okay correct me if I am wrong here, but Judaism is a faith not a nationality. So because your grandmother is Jewish does not make you Jewish by descent. It is a faith that you are raised in. My mom was baptised lutheran, but converted to Catholicism. I was raised Catholic but am now an Episopalian. I understand you want to know about it. But be sure in your faith before you do this.

 

[bumbershoot]

okay correct me if I am wrong here, but Judaism is a faith not a nationality. So because your grandmother is Jewish does not make you Jewish by descent. It is a faith that you are raised in.

None of my Jewish friends feel that way.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

okay correct me if I am wrong here, but Judaism is a faith not a nationality. So because your grandmother is Jewish does not make you Jewish by descent. It is a faith that you are raised in. My mom was baptised lutheran, but converted to Catholicism. I was raised Catholic but am now an Episopalian. I understand you want to know about it. But be sure in your faith before you do this.

Jewish is an ethnicity as well as a religion. That's not the same as being Catholic or Luthern.

 

[Maggie'sMom]

From Wikipedia: "According to traditional Jewish Law, a Jew is anyone born of a Jewish mother or converted to Judaism in accord with Jewish Law. American Reform Judaism and British Liberal Judaism accept the child of one Jewish parent (father or mother) as Jewish if the parents raise the child with a Jewish identity. All mainstream forms of Judaism today are open to sincere converts, although conversion has traditionally been discouraged. The conversion process is evaluated by an authority, and the convert is examined on his or her sincerity and knowledge.[33] Converts are given the name "ben Abraham" or "bat Abraham", (son or daughter of Abraham).

Traditional Judaism maintains that a Jew, whether by birth or conversion, is a Jew forever. Thus a Jew who claims to be an atheist or converts to another religion is still considered by traditional Judaism to be Jewish. "

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Judaism

 

[janets]

Maggie's Mom is correct. Even though there is a group that accepts a child born of any Jewish parent as being Jewish, most do not. The religion passes through the mother. So if your FIL's mother was Jewish, she would have passed that to her son (FIL). However, it appears that FIL did not marry a Jewish woman (DH's mom) so DH is not Jewish. He has some connection to Judaism in his past and it would be interesting to learn about his grandmother and her family (how she got here, where she came from, etc.), other than that, I'm not sure there is much you need to teach your children, especially if no one in DH's family gives a flying fig.

It's always sad to me when a family decides to simply ignore any religious teachings. I know that many do not believe, or do not subscribe to any one religion, but I think that most grew up with some sort of faith based learning and decided at some point in their life whether they chose to believe or not. To never have been given the chance to learn and therefore make an informed decision, is sad to me. And even more sad that DH's family has no interest in their past or heritage. We always enjoy telling stories about my family and aunts, grandmothers, grandfathers and the interesting stories we know about their lives and histories. It makes for a much richer life.

 

[-Hope-]

I would say that knowing your familial history is interesting, even fascinating. I don't necessarily think it is imperitive. My mother has no idea about her family history beyond about the third generation back. My father, who adopted me after marrying my mother when I was six, doesn't know his family history either. I have no idea about my biological father's family. I'm not saying that it isn't nice to know where you came from, and certainly interesting just that it isn't essential to know it to have a full life.

I would also think that it could benefit ANYONE to learn about another culture or faith but to also understand that by doing so as someone from outside that culture or faith you may never grasp it fully w/o a full conversion. I have many non-Christian friends and we have a lot of theological discussions but I can tell that there are things they can understand intellectually but still not really 'get'. It is the same with my understanding of their traditions. So I would say if you do decide to move forward with this then tread lightly to ensure you get it right.

As for the faith/ethnicity debate. Our nation has a large population of people who describe themselves as secular Jews and there is also a group called Jews for Jesus. I think this is evidence that within the Jewish community it is about more than faith.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Jewish is an ethnicity as well as a religion. That's not the same as being Catholic or Luthern.

This was always my understanding. Many of my friend's growing up were Jewish by faith. As far as I understood about my DH's grandmother they were Jewish not only in faith but in ethnicity. Now as for the PP that suggested I learn about my own faith...I am Catholic...I know that religion inside and out (I even had to learn Latin). I do not know about the Jewish faith inside and out and that is why I am asking.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

I would say that knowing your familial history is interesting, even fascinating. I don't necessarily think it is imperitive. My mother has no idea about her family history beyond about the third generation back. My father, who adopted me after marrying my mother when I was six, doesn't know his family history either. I have no idea about my biological father's family. I'm not saying that it isn't nice to know where you came from, and certainly interesting just that it isn't essential to know it to have a full life.

I would also think that it could benefit ANYONE to learn about another culture or faith but to also understand that by doing so as someone from outside that culture or faith you may never grasp it fully w/o a full conversion. I have many non-Christian friends and we have a lot of theological discussions but I can tell that there are things they can understand intellectually but still not really 'get'. It is the same with my understanding of their traditions. So I would say if you do decide to move forward with this then tread lightly to ensure you get it right.

As for the faith/ethnicity debate. Our nation has a large population of people who describe themselves as secular Jews and there is also a group called Jews for Jesus. I think this is evidence that within the Jewish community it is about more than faith.

I think the thing that bothers me is the fact that my DH's family could learn but they refuse. My DH's grandfather will be 106 on Friday..no one has ever asked about his life. I don't care if he sat for the last 106 years on a bench and twiddled his thumbs he lived on this earth for 106 years..just that is a story.

 

[allyphoe]

Is it appropriate for me to learn about the Jewish religion and include my children so they can learn about their heritage.

IMHO, your kids' heritage isn't "the Jewish religion." By even the loosest religious definition, neither your DH nor your kids are Jewish. (And it doesn't sound like anyone has interest in converting.)

Your kids' heritage is at least somewhat Jewish-Russian, and I see no harm in saying "your great-great grandparents were Russian Jews; let's learn what their lives might have been like, either in Russia or after they emigrated." But I wouldn't give it any more weight than you do the other 15/16ths of "where they came from."

IMHO it's not inappropriate for you to learn about modern US Judaism (religious or secular), or to teach your kids about it, any more than it would be inappropriate for you to learn about Baha'i or Shintoism. But modern US Judaism isn't part of your kids' family history.

 

[RubySlippers]

While I think it is great that you want your children to well rounded educated people.... Your husband is not Jewish unless his mother was and practiced the faith and raised him as a Jew. If his mother was not Jewish then he would have had to convert to be accepted as a Jew.

Ruby

 

[budbeerlady]

I think it would be good for your family to learn about, even fun for the kids.

Dh's stepfather is orthodox Ukrainian, so Russian Christmas is in January and we do some Easter celebrations with them that were new to us. Dd loves it and its good for her to see other celebrations. He enjoys sharing it with us so its a win/win.

On the flip side of that is the dark ugly stories that are passed around the adults about why they left and what happened coming to and starting in the United States. Not all family history items are good ones and there may be reasons its been dismissed. I had a new respect for Grandma O once I heard about her life a little. Knowing history is one thing but hearing personal history is another, she wouldnt talk of it and it was rude to ask but wow!

 

[bumbershoot]

My DH's grandfather will be 106 on Friday..no one has ever asked about his life.

Then who cares what the rest of the family does. YOUR family is interested. Start asking him questions! Don't leave it until too late.

My FIL lived an amazing life (though he wasn't the nicest of men), and he'd *just* started talking about things, we'd started asking him for his stories...and then he died. Too late.

Ask DH's granddad the questions, about his life not just Judaism, now.


So...there was no religion in my family (until my mom went that way later on) b/c my great grandmother quit the Catholic church (and was likely not allowed back after what she said to a jerky priest). On another side of that maternal family, we grew up thinking they were Swiss, until my grandma started doing geneology and realized that the family had simply appeared in Switzerland at the same time Hitler was coming to power. And they have the same last name as the second biggest Kosher for Passover food company (second biggest when last I looked). So...that was interesting.

I was interested, so I read about it. Read the...oh gosh I always forget....Talmud or Torah...over one summer in college. Right there at the library, very convenient. My feeling is that since I'm sure your kids have already taken a peek at the bible...if you just stop your reading after the Old Testament, you already have a good background.

You might want to know that things might change...the kids might get really into it. I'm vegetarian now, but that started as eating basically kosher as a teenager, once I found out about the Streits in my family. Of course, I never much liked bottomfeeders anyway, LOL, so not having lobster, etc, wasn't a hardship. Pig products soon followed. And so on and so forth.

So just like showing a little kid (who has never thought about where their food comes from) Babe, you might expect changes like that and gird yourself.

 

[laceemouse]

Jesus was born into a Jewish family and was raised following all of the traditional Jewish rituals and celebrating their holidays. If you read the Old Testament you will learn all about these traditions. Most of the Christians that I know teach their children all about the Jewish holy days. I see no harm in teaching your children about their heritage, although obviously it doesn't mean anything to your husband's family. Is your husband a believing Christian now?

 

[dfchelbay]

...that my DH is 1/4 Jewish. He didn't even know. It was kind of spoken in passing at my FIL's house. FIL apparently knew but never thought about it twice. I think that family history is so important and I know where all of my relatives came from and I am always looking for new info. Seems that DH's family couldn't care less about their ansestors and how they ended up in the US. After much research I learned that my DH's grandmother came to America from Russia as a small child. Her family was Jewish but she chose not to marry a Jewish man she married my DH's grandfather and together they did not practice any religion. My FIL and his sibs celebrated Christmas and other Christian holidays and spent them with family but never added the religious aspect to any of it. I find this so sad. Now here is my delima....

I feel that it is importanat for a child to learn all about where they came from. Is it appropriate for me to learn about the Jewish religion and include my children so they can learn about their heritage. If it not appropriate how can my kids learn?

Just an FYI...you may want to become familiar with the role of Jesus in Judaism first before you do it with your children. From what you wrote, it seems that your religion, Christianity, is very important to you. You found it sad that the religious aspect of Christmas and Christian holidays was not followed in your husband's family. You entire religion is based on the teachings/role of Jesus. In researching the Jewish religion, you are not going to find that. Just want you to know/be prepared for what you are going to find as you delve in.

 

[GOOFY4DONALD]

Thank you for all of the replies. I am somewhat familiar with the modern Jewish religion. Not so much as in exact practices but as in their beliefs and in Jesus' role. (I had a Jewish boyfriend in high school that loves to get into long debates/discussions on many topics of religion). When I was a child my mom encorporated many different traditions that were used by our relatives from different parts of the world. As you all know even the Christmas holiday has tons of variations based on the counrty celebrating it. When I was married I assumed that my DHs family was mostly Norwegian (just as any of them and this is what they will tel you). I started to encorporate some of the traditions from Norway and everyone in my immediate family has enjoyed to addition. Come to find out my DH is slightly Norwegian. Mostly Jewish and German (I already include some German traditions). I think I just wanted to add a tradition that can be appreciated in my home. I didn't want to offend anyone just enhance my home.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

Would I make the kids learn about it? No. Simply because you don't follow the Jewish faith. You can learn about your heritage and where your family came from etc. but I don't see any reason to learn all about some religion that you do not practice unless maybe you were studying it for some reason.
We are Catholic. I am sure there are some people who might be different religions in our family but other than being respectful of it I see no reason to teach the kids all about it. They are being raised Catholic.