OK, let's all fight about what's wrong with kids today.

[auntpolly]

I wasn't gonna bring this up but with all the people defending bad behaviour on the other thread, you've all got me curious how this one will go.

So on the way home I met DD in Florida for a couple of days of WDW and we had dinner at the CA Grill. The table next to us had 3 little boys that were standing in their chairs or crawing on the floor most of the meal. We almost asked to change tables but when we looked around the room, we were stunned. It was like Chef Mickey's in there. Instead of finding area away from screaming out of control kids, we saw only one table in the whole place with a little girl who who we felt belonged in that restaurant -- based on her behaviour (we mentioned it to the parents, too, how adorable she was).

WTH???? My DD would have been ripped out of that place so fast her head would still be spinning. Based on that night at the CA Grill, I am thinking that kids are just really out of control and it's just fine and dandy with parents. No wonder they don't know how to behave at school.

I know it's WDW, but The CA Grill is an upscale, expensive place, not a character breakfast.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I agree with you and it's one reason that we haven't been at CA Grill since we've had our youngest. Kids should behave in any restaurant, but I have higher standards for an upscale restaurant.

 

[Mskanga]

It is called lack of discipline.

 

[2sweetangels]

this is one of the reason's we order our food to be delivered to our house, I cannot take my 2 year old DD to a restruant without me having to warn her. I respect other people so I try not to bring my DD out to eat especially when I know she is in a crabby mood or very very hyper.

 

[Bbgrizzle]

I agreed with your posts on the other thread, Aunt Polly.

Here is an example of something minor, yet it really demonstrates what you are saying about discipline.

Yesterday before my kindergarten class began, one of the moms talked to me before school. She said that she knows that "no toys at school" has been the rule all year, but "Bobby" really wanted to bring his little video game and she didn't want to deal with it. So she said to me, "I figured I'd just let him bring it to school and then let you be the bad guy and take it from him." She was laughing and thought it was funny. I was nice to her, of course, because I genuinely do like this mom, and it really isn't that hard for me to have him leave it on my desk until after school is out for the day. But for me it was another example of parents taking the easy way, instead of putting some effort into parenting. Sure, none of us wants to deal with a temper tantrum, but we do it because it's our responsiblity to raise our kid right. It's how we handle these difficult situations that help shape our children's behavior in the future. This child is adorable and I love him a lot, but he has frequent behavior problems and his mom laughs and thinks it's funny. She says he's just being a five-year-old. I think that's a little disturbing.

 

[CajunDixie]

Sometimes I'd just like to walk up to the parents and ask them what the heck they are thinking! I'd bet some of those same kids do not go out to upscale restaurants at home and have never had to behave through a long drawn out meal. Not to mention they are on overload already being on vacation and probably way off their normal sleep & excercise schedules. Parents shouldn't expect their kids to act like the Energizer Bunny just because it's vacation.

My kids started learning restaurant behavior in fast food places then family type places. It really freaked me out one day when we had lunch with my parents in a family chain type restaurant and an elderly lady gave my kids money because they were so well behaved. I tried to discourage her but she said it was money well spent sitting by our table and observing my boys not only behaving but carrying on conversations with my parents.

 

[poohandwendy]

In the examples shown, total lack of discipline, IMO.

In our house, the teachers would be the lesser of the evils if my kids got in trouble.

 

[Pinnie]

I agreed with your posts on the other thread, Aunt Polly.

Here is an example of something minor, yet it really demonstrates what you are saying about discipline.

Yesterday before my kindergarten class began, one of the moms talked to me before school. She said that she knows that "no toys at school" has been the rule all year, but "Bobby" really wanted to bring his little video game and she didn't want to deal with it. So she said to me, "I figured I'd just let him bring it to school and then let you be the bad guy and take it from him." She was laughing and thought it was funny. I was nice to her, of course, because I genuinely do like this mom, and it really isn't that hard for me to have him leave it on my desk until after school is out for the day. But for me it was another example of parents taking the easy way, instead of putting some effort into parenting. Sure, none of us wants to deal with a temper tantrum, but we do it because it's our responsiblity to raise our kid right. It's how we handle these difficult situations that help shape our children's behavior in the future. This child is adorable and I love him a lot, but he has frequent behavior problems and his mom laughs and thinks it's funny. She says he's just being a five-year-old. I think that's a little disturbing.

I hear you because I deal with this in my K classes, too. My response to those parents who tell me they didn't want to "deal with it' is, "What are you going to do when your child is 15 and wants to take cigarettes or whatever else to school?"

The foundation is laid early. Kids know what buttons to push!

pinnie

pinnie

 

[lisajl]

We went to Applebees last night for my sons 12th birthday, I know not CA grill, but still a decent restaraunt.
There was a couple waiting for table, longer than us. The host showed them a table that was right beside three unruly boys.
The woman replied, "I have already raised three kids, I don't want to fight with three more."
We could not help but laugh, these kids were out of control and no parental guidance at all.
I also have to add there was a mom and her, looked like 15 year old daughter, smoking cigarettes together at the front door.
My DD, 20, has a lot of allergies and had trouble breathing around them, but she was very judgemental about that young girl smoking.
I told her to look at the mom......

 

[Goobergal99]

See I think the problem is that this is not the norm at home. For instance I was an only child and we went out to dinner ALOT (probably more then we should have but..... ) So I knew how to behave when I was in a resturaunt.
Alot of kids don't know how b/c they are not accustomed to it and then the parents think that just b/c they are on vacation they should automatically know how to behave at the table. This is just not going to be the case IMO

 

[INDISMOM]

My DDs know if they do not behave I don't have a problem leaving my DH and other DD to enjoy dinner while we sit in the car. On more than one occasion we have gotten ALL of our dinners boxed up and left the restaurant because bad behavior started after we ordered.

I don't want to have a terrible dinner because of someone else's child, and I WILL NOT subject other people to my child being bad. They are paying to have a nice dinner, not listen to my child scream.

I guess I don't understand what people don't get

 

[disneyjunkie]

Yesterday before my kindergarten class began, one of the moms talked to me before school. She said that she knows that "no toys at school" has been the rule all year, but "Bobby" really wanted to bring his little video game and she didn't want to deal with it. So she said to me, "I figured I'd just let him bring it to school and then let you be the bad guy and take it from him." She was laughing and thought it was funny. I was nice to her, of course, because I genuinely do like this mom, and it really isn't that hard for me to have him leave it on my desk until after school is out for the day. But for me it was another example of parents taking the easy way, instead of putting some effort into parenting. Sure, none of us wants to deal with a temper tantrum, but we do it because it's our responsiblity to raise our kid right. It's how we handle these difficult situations that help shape our children's behavior in the future. This child is adorable and I love him a lot, but he has frequent behavior problems and his mom laughs and thinks it's funny. She says he's just being a five-year-old. I think that's a little disturbing.

I have the same problem with my K students. Most of the time I just smile and tell the child to give the toy to mom or dad. Of course I then get a nasty look from the parent.

 

[Quinn222]

It is called lack of discipline.

Yup. If kids can't stay seated reasonably quietly in their chairs they don't belong in a high end restaurant. Take them to chilis or whatever and teach them how to behave before you take them to a nice place and inflict them on others. If they start screaming, remove them from the room.

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

Parents don't want to parent. That's the problem. They'd rather give into their kid and let them have their own way then to actually teach them boundaries or show any kind of disipline. Because well, that's the easy way out

 

[MrsKreamer]

I agree that we make too many excuses for our kids. I am the oldest in my family with younger cousin age 4 and 6. No one in my family wants to go out to eat with them anymore. My almost 2 y/o puts them to shame. He will sit quietly, with his napkin in his lap, while they will run around playing. This is at nice places too, not just family themed places.

DH and I love to eat out. We knew from the beginning we wanted to be able to bring our son for him to enjoy as well. We started with him at family places while he was still in his baby carrier. By the time he was big enough to sit in a highchair he was used to this place and was well behaved. Now we can take him anywhere. We took him to the Brown Derby at MGM, when we were working for Disney a few months ago, our server commented that they usually cringe when they see people come in with toddlers....but he was so quiet, they didn't even notice him.

It starts young. Using age to make excuses is the worst...our 2 y/o s are smarter than they look!

 

[Quinn222]

but he has frequent behavior problems and his mom laughs and thinks it's funny. She says he's just being a five-year-old. I think that's a little disturbing.

One of my mother's favourite quotes to us is, "Sure you think it's cute when he's three, will you still think it's cute when he's ten? If not, stop it now."

 

[tamman]

Another kindergarten teacher here who won't allow toys in the classroom except on show-n-tell days (once a month), but it amazing me to see the toys in the backpacks!!! I just tell them if I see it then it is mine until the end of the week!!

 

[HomeSweetDisney]

Using age to make excuses is the worst...our 2 y/o s are smarter than they look!

So true! Young children are VERY smart. And if you continually let them get away with that kind of behavior, what do you expect? They're going to keep acting that way. I understand that kids are going to want to play and have a good time. That's natural. BUT...there is such a thing as disipline. And if you're going to take them to a nice restaurant like that, you need to be able to enforce it. Otherwise, they won't learn. It seems simple enough to me.

 

[crazymomof4]

The foundation is laid early.
pinnie

pinnie

So true! Some people are shocked when I tell them that I started telling my kids, "No" when they were 6-7 months old. (you know when they start touching things that could be a danger to them). But, like you said, it lays the foundation. I think too many parents think that their kids will just eventually start to behave and listen all on their own, as they get older. Not true! Parents need to stop thinking of disciple as a bad thing. Kids need structure, kids need boundries. It's a parents job to provide these things. It's much easier to start early.

We were in a theater-like environment in a museum recently waiting for a nature show to begin. Because my children were all seated quietly next to us, I had the opportunity to observe others. As I sat there watching dozens of parents "cope" with their kids, I coined a phrase: "Child-lead parenting". I notice that very often kids do what they want, when they want to and parents find strategies to deal with those decisions of the child, even if it inconveniences others around them. I don't often hear parents saying "No" in a stern voice and giving their kids "the look" like I've always done. You don't have to be mean to your kids to be a good disciplinarian, just firm and consistant. My kids still love me and I enjoy being proud of their behavior in public. Now the following is just me bragging, pure and simple-- DH and I have often had complete strangers in public places compliment us on our children's behavior. It feels good and the kids get a kick out of it too. Funny thing is, they are just doing what they are supposed to be doing, being courteous of others, nothing special, really. I think all of the "wild" children just make my kids (and other like them) stand out.

Sometimes I hear this: "You're lucky to have good kids." Like it just "happens", no effort involved! My DD was born with what I call "huge brat potential". She started hitting me when she was just 5-6 months old whenever I told her "no" -- like when I wouldn't let her pull my hair, earrings, poke my eyes, etc. She'd haul off and smack me across the cheek. After a while I was ready for her. I'd catch her little arm before she could make contact and look her in the eyes and firmly say "No". Of course she would cry bc. she wasn't getting her way. My older boys said, "Awww mom, she doesn't know." And to that I replied, "Well it may be cute and funny now, but when she is 5 and up and still hitting me and everyone else, how cute will it be?" Nope, nipped it in the bud. It took about a week and she never hit me again. She realized it was not acceptable behavior.

The truth is, discipline may seem the more difficult choice initially, but in the long run it's easier. The payoff is so worth it.

 

[minkydog]

One of my mother's favourite quotes to us is, "Sure you think it's cute when he's three, will you still think it's cute when he's ten? If not, stop it now."

This is a quote we use, too. Our youngest child(11) is mentally handicapped and autistic and it has taken, literally, years to teach him certain things. He has the mental capacity of a 1yr old, but he is expected to sit up and behave at the table no matter where we are. He may not leave the table, put his feet on the table, throw things off the table, or in any way make it difficlut for the rest of us to enjoy our dinner. Harsh? I don't think so. We can take him pretty much anywhere, as long as they have food he can eat.