OK, I've got another one for you...(gifts)Clarified on post 6

[bananiem]

How would you feel if you had your family Christmas and Santa came and everything. Then you go to your MIL's and there are gifts under the tree from Santa for all the children and the fathers (MIL's sons) but not the children's mothers?

 

[LeCras]

My MIL didn't get me anything the Christmas before last. Everyone else found it very awkward - I just thought it was rude...

Charlotte

 

[tinkerrn]

Oh, thats horrible. That is very rude. What do the fathers say???

 

[tiggerlover]

I have to agree, very awkward and very inconsiderate. What were the son's reaction to what their mother did? I would hope that the son's would say something to mom to avoid it happening again. I can understand having hurt feelings, that is just not nice.

 

[stinkerbelle]

odd, to say the least.
I have an overly generous MIL...but even MY mother has said..."enjoy the gifts now...once there are grandchildren, they'll get most of it"

and I'm fine with it. Christmas really is for the kids. But, yes, it would be a bit odd to not even have a "token gift" for your DIL under the tree (be it a $5 gift card to a coffee place or a winter hat...ya know?)

 

[bananiem]

Ok, I need to clarify. She gets the DIL's gifts from her and our FIL. But everybody else gets one from "Santa." It confused the kids but I wondered what everybody else thought. "Why didn't Santa leave a gift for Mommy?"
The 2 oldest sons with kids told her to stop it when the kids were starting to catch on. They told her she'd had her turn to play Santa, now it was our turn.

 

[Marseeya]

Rude... it would be better to exchange names if money's an issue or something.

 

[L107ANGEL]

Wow, that is just rude

 

[stinkerbelle]

Ok, I need to clarify. She gets the DIL's gifts from her and our FIL. But everybody else gets one from "Santa." It confused the kids but I wondered what everybody else thought. "Why didn't Santa leave a gift for Mommy?"
The 2 oldest sons with kids told her to stop it when the kids were starting to catch on. They told her she'd had her turn to play Santa, now it was our turn.

umm...someone should tell your MIL that "Santa" should just bring gifts for the kids...not the "parents" too.

JMO

 

[Ranatra]

As a new MIL myself and a new grandma, I would never dream of leaving either my SIL or DIL or even my son's girlfriend out of anything. There's no good reason to hurt people's feelings.

 

[delilah]

Well, I had the interesting experience the first Christmas we were married of having to wrap all the presents for MIL and her sister were giving. I think I may have gotten a gift, but, I wrapped about 50 of them, I think. My husband were visiting at Christmas break from graduate school. After that year, we changed our routine to staying with my parents before Christmas, and driving to IL's on Christmas day.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Rude and making it know that the DILs were lesser in the family stucture.

 

[froglady]

I had the oppsite, sort of, problem when my older brothers got married. I remember the first time I gave one brother a "joint" gift he got very offended that I didn't give TWO gifts; one for SIL, one for him. He considered a house gift (a set of Christmas candlesticks; I was only 19 and a student) to be hers.

 

[DVC Jen]

I think I would return the favor... but I am mean like that.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

That's not right. I agree, they need to be told Santa should only deliver to the kids there, or why is Santa even visiting there at all? Santa never visit either of my grandparent's homes and left presents there for the grandkids (or others) when I was little.

 

[Mermaid02]

I think I would return the favor... but I am mean like that.

I knew I liked you! That's what I would do too.

 

[Stitchfans]

As a new MIL myself and a new grandma, I would never dream of leaving either my SIL or DIL or even my son's girlfriend out of anything. There's no good reason to hurt people's feelings.

I just had this conversation with my DD25 last night. She informed me that her father and his family didn't acknowledge her BF last Christmas and she already exchanged with them this Christmas and again he was looked over. Last year I had several gifts for him and I have several again. I am not overly fond of the boy, and neither is anyone else in the family but why go out of my way to hurt his feelings. That is so wrong. They plan of getting married in 2007, so she must love him and like it or not we have to accept him into the family.

IMO anyone who can't give a small token gift just to say I thought of you is just plain mean. Like DD said a card and small box of chocolates since he loves his chocolate would of been nice.

 

[barkley]

in our home both the kids and the parents (us) get gifts from santa. this is a tradition we started (our parents never did it) from day one (funny thing is we both did it our first married christmas together, no kids around, without consulting each other-just happend that way). when the kids ask "is there a santa" i can honestly say "well i believe, and i get gifts every year from him .

we don't usualy have anyone besides ourselves on christmas morning, but on the occasions we have (grandma and an uncle spent the night) there have always been a few small "santa" gifts for them as well. grandma is spending the night this year and santa will remember her too.

on the boyfriend issue-for me it would depend on how serious the relationship was/how long they had been together (i recall my brothers bringing the "girlfriend of the month" on a couple of occasions) and weather i knew this person was going to be at the gift exchange. i've encountered a couple of holidays at my in-laws where one of the nephews brought someone they were dating and while we may have "heard" of her we had never seen her at any other family events nor were aware that the girl was more than one of several girls the nephew casualy dated. in these situations i never felt inclined to put forth an effort to provide a gift.

 

[froglady]

DD's latest beau will be arriving after Christmas. As I did with last BF who visited, and with her local BF when she was in HS, I have a stocking hanging for him. You never know who might be a future son-in-law.

 

[disykat]

Very weird that Santa would visit Grandma's house and leave presents for everyone except the moms. I'm with your BIL's. Santa can visit your own house and bring the presents there. Grandma is just being selfish wanting to play Santa - and Santa not leaving gifts for the moms is just weird.

I think (going right along with the selfish theme here) that Grandma wanted to make sure that the DIL's knew the gifts were from them and that's why she put their names as the givers instead of Santa? She obviously gave no thought as to how that would confuse the children.