OFF TOPIC What age is ok to stay home alone?

[MSSANDRA]

I say too young. Maybe 10 and 12 would be a good age to really think about it. I worry more about a child coming into a house alone than staying there alone. There has been a run of break-ends in my friends community lately and they have all taken place while everyone is at work and are discovered when the people come in after work or school. How scary would that be for a child to discover and would they know what to do???? Being home alone, would mean staying in the house, doors locked and alarm on. Pretty tough on a 8 year old that wants and needs to go outside and play after being in school all day. I would maybe leave them for a short errand or two when they are already home and you leave and come back within 45 minutes are so. Good luck on finding a solution that works.

 

[SEA333]

I am not hte oldest of 3, but the only girl. I had much responsibility at a young age (and loved being responsible) BUT, I lost a lot of my childhood watching my little brother.

Just another perspective, is it fair to the oldest to be responsible?

I think, with the small age gap between her kids, that her older DD will not lose very much "childhood" watching her younger brother. By the time older DD is in 7th/8th grade, the younger brother will be old enough to watch himself.

If there were 3-4 or more years between the two, I would think about it more, like I said in my post about my own kids. As it is, the OP's kids will both be taking care of "themselves", with the older one being the actual one in charge. It isn't like he isn't old enough to go to the bathroom alone or make himself a sandwich or grab some crackers and some milk if he is hungry. Older DD will just be the "oversee"-er, KWIM?

JMO....

 

[sophiagymgall]

I am not hte oldest of 3, but the only girl. I had much responsibility at a young age (and loved being responsible) BUT, I lost a lot of my childhood watching my little brother.

Just another perspective, is it fair to the oldest to be responsible?

And as the youngest child in my family, I wouldn't have been happy with the arrangement either. My sister and I are 2 years apart and she got to boss me around and even babysit me for money just because of those 2 years she had on me. I'm still resentful today that my parents put her in a position of power over me, because we've remained in those same positions our whole lives and I hate it. There shouldn't be a hierarchy between siblings. If your kids are friends and equals, then it's okay, but if you're going to ask your DD to babysit/supervise your DS, you should be careful about the way you frame it.. or better yet, not do it at all

 

[RainK]

Food for thought. Take the 8 year old sibling out of equation. Would you leave a 10.5 year old home alone for 2 hours??

I guess that was my question.
I am not worried about my kid losing childhood as that would NEVER happen. I would never ask or make any of my kids do something that didn't want to do.
I'm not even contemplating doing this to save any $$. She asked me and I now know some of her friends are doing it.
We have left her home before.... Just not for 2 hours.
Plus the 1st things my kids to when they get home from school is 1. Get a snack. 2 homework 3. Either read on their kindle or play video games or on their iPods.

By the time I get home is when we make dinner and we all go outside after dinner and play street hockey or soccer or just go for a walk nightly.

 

[bjscheel]

I would consider doing what you propose. It's been a few years back now, so I don't remember exactly what my girls were like at that stage, but I think I left them for short times. For all day in the summers at that age, though, I had a 16 year old come over to hang with them. They have been well behaved and responsible kids so I think they would have been fine for 2 hours at that age. And they hated going to daycare being that old when all their friends were at home alone.

But in our case, my kids don't have a way home from school without me, so after school alone wasn't an option. Luckily, I have an empty room right off my office they can be in, and my parents live 1/2 block from school so they have places they can be. So it was at ages 7 and 10 that they quit going to daycare after school.

 

[bjscheel]

PS Forgot to mention and have also now read your update- for my girls it wasn't one "babysitting" the other. They were just home together. They played together and enjoyed the same activities, or did things on their own. Now for DD14's friends that have brothers significantly younger, it's different. They miss out on things due to having to watch their brothers.

I would be inclined to try it and have them do as you mentioned- homework and quiet time with Kindle, etc.

 

[texasroni75]

12 seems to be the magic number in our house. That is the age we began to let oldest DD walk home from middle school and wait at home until I got out of work. With cellphones, and groups of friends walking the same route, I felt comfortable - as long as she checked in from our home landline when she got there, so I knew she was actually home. I did not have her watch her younger siblings though. They went to aftercare until I got out of work.

Now, my second DD is 12. She just got her own housekey "just in case" I'm running late or in traffic at the time she gets off her school bus (which is about 1/4 mile from the house). Again, I do not leave her in charge of her siblings. I'm just not comfortable with it, mainly due to realizing that our 9 year old can run circles around her - I don't think he would listen to her/respect her authority. Although, I believe it's perfectly legal to let her "babysit" - as long as it is a short period of time. She has been begging to take the babysitting course at our local YMCA so she can be certified.

The way they stagger the school release times here wouldn't work in our favor anyway - the Elementary schools get out for the day before the Middle School, and then High School lets out last. So, my Elementary School kid (9) would be home almost an hour before my 12 year old.

 

[cheshireqt]

With the scenario you outlined, 12 years of age for the oldest, and only because the younger one is not really young, more of a companion than a job. 8 and 10 seems young to come home to a vacant house and be left alone for a 2 hour 3 time a week permanent arrangement IMHO.

 

[CdnCarrie]

Legal age here is 12.To be honest I would have been okay letting my 10 year old alone for a short time but I`m not allowed to.

 

[gorkt]

My dd is 11 and she has just started coming home alone after school for the 2 hours before I get home. She is responsible and mature and also, our neighbor is home in the afternoons and dd knows that if she has a problem she can go there for help.

My ds is 9 and can be a handful so he is going to after school care this year and we will reevaluate next year to see if he can stay home alone with her.

 

[RainK]

My dd is 11 and she has just started coming home alone after school for the 2 hours before I get home. She is responsible and mature and also, our neighbor is home in the afternoons and dd knows that if she has a problem she can go there for help.

My ds is 9 and can be a handful so he is going to after school care this year and we will reevaluate next year to see if he can stay home alone with her.

My DD will be 11 in January and DS will be 9 in April. It's funny BC my son can be a handful but he "promised" he would behave if they could stay alone. Haha
As it is now, they do get on the bus in the morning themselves and I have never had a problem. They started that in late school year last school year.
I will just play it by ear I guess.
So, if the sitter can't make it one day, I won't panic as I normally would and just let them stay alone until I get home.

 

[Kemorr]

Check the legal age for home alone in your state. I was VERY surprised to discover that in my state it is against the law to leave children home alone until they are 14.

 

[djmeredith]

Legal age here is 12.To be honest I would have been okay letting my 10 year old alone for a short time but I`m not allowed to.

Check the laws in your state if you want to avoid a social services investigation and possible criminal prosecution! I am an attorney for a state agency that includes Child Protective Services (and a former elementary school teacher). It surprised me that it took so long for someone to mention the law. It only takes one phone call from a concerned neighbor, teacher, or another parent to put you on social services' radar.

Leaving a 10 yr old in charge of an 8 yr old for more than a few minutes (maybe a quick 15 minute trip to the corner store) would be considered neglect here, and the parent could be prosecuted criminally. Even a very mature 10 yr old is just not capable of being responsible in true emergency situations; and they are certainly not socially/emotionally mature enough to be responsible for themselves and an 8 yr old sibling for 2 hours.

 

[amylevan]

Check the legal age for home alone in your state. I was VERY surprised to discover that in my state it is against the law to leave children home alone until they are 14.

14!?!?

I did a quick google search after I saw this and noted 2 things:
1) my state (PA) does not have a specified age
2) there are only a handful of states with a specified age, and some only have a "recommended" age, but those that do mostly vary from 8-12

 

[RainK]

Our state has no age. That was the absolute FIRST thing I did anyways.....Check for legal issues.
Our school actually offers babysitting courses for 11 year olds. That must tell me something.

 

[DopeyDame]

Check the legal age for home alone in your state. I was VERY surprised to discover that in my state it is against the law to leave children home alone until they are 14.

Can you post a link citing that law? Because I see people post stuff like that all the time on the Dis, and in all of my googling, I have discovered that the vast majority of states do not have any set age (the laws typically say it depends on the circumstances, which of course makes sense) and those few that have ages I've never ever seen one as old as 14.

 

[DopeyDame]

As for the OP's situation, it's the interaction between the two kids that I'd be most worried about. A responsible 10 year old by themselves is one thing, a 10 year old with her little sibling can end up being a real handful.

 

[djmeredith]

Latchkey-kids.com has a compilation of state age limit laws. It's 14 in IL according to that site, which states their source as U of IL Child Care Resource Service. Keep in mind that in states without an age limit law, the determination as to whether a situation is neglect or not will most likely be decided by the investigating social worker based on that specific situation. In many states, leaving a 10 yr old in charge of a younger sibling for 2 hours would be considered child neglect.