Off Topic - Nerf Gun toys

[mrsr2ro]

Looking for some objective advice from other parents.

My son is asking for those nerf guns for his 9th birthday this month and I'm really on the fence....

Background: My husband and I have some liberal views and some conservative views.... consider ourselves "middle of the road'. When it comes to guns, we lean left. We don't own guns. We are not into hunting. We try to be mindful of the content our kids get exposed to on tv/movies/computer.

That being said, I did play with toy guns as a child. My parents have the same political leanings as we do now, but never saw toy guns as a problem. For example, when we went to WDW when I was 4, they bought my brother (6 at the time) and I the little Davy Crockett pistols. We loved them. We had plastic, realistic looking toy guns that would rattle when you pulled the trigger. We'd run around with the neighbor kids playing cops/robbers, etc. We had squirt guns, etc. It was all pretend and we knew the difference.

Thinking about the toys we already have -- we have tons of Lego City police sets which have guns (cops and robbers) and we have some Playmobil Western sets which have rifles, etc. I have some farther left leaning friends who wouldn't buy these types of toys for their kids due to the guns. To me that is pushing it. Yet, I also have friends who take their 4 year olds to see Avengers, Iron Man and the like which I wont' even take my 8 yo to because I think it's too much exposure to violence. They are PG-13 and just too realistic/intense.

So - Nerf Guns. My boys discovered them when visiting a friends house and they had an absolute ball playing with them. Now my son would really like them for his birthday. Part of me thinks - sure, they are for fun.... but then part of me cringes at the thought of my kids playing with them. I can't shake the thoughts of school shootings.

Am I over thinking this??? What are your thoughts? I know there are a lot of parents who have a "No toy gun" policy - does that include these nerf ones? What about squirt guns?

 

[Angel Ariel]

Playing with Nerf guns, IMO, is not going to cause a child to become a school shooter.

 

[bumbershoot]

At under-3 my son bit his toast into the shape of a "blaster" from the buzz ride. Kid was determined.

We recently got him a nerf blaster to have an epic, family-wide, battle with cousins while in Orlando. It was hilarious, awesome, and funny, without ever reminding anyone of anything real. It was great fun for the conservative religious among us as well as the pacifist libertarians in the group. It also involved glow sticks decorating the blasters which increased the merriment.

He got a second one for his 9th b'day from a friend (with permission from me) and while use is curtailed (we have a condo and he cannot use it indoors for few of breakage) it hasn't changed him.

Of course you want to make sure it's all respectful and not offensive to anyone who has been somehow involved in crime. Always make sure with parents (directly with them, not through the child) that it's ok for the nerf stuff to be played with. If someone objects, then it doesn't get played with by/with that child. Make sure the kids aren't using scary language about it. That sort of thing. We found that our family battle turned into more of a dramatic, melodramatic really, really fake thing with "I'm hit, ohhhhhh im hit, I'll never leave youuuuuuu" kind of things happening. Way more on the silly side than anything serious or "trigger"-ish stuff that might have made us think of sad events.

I say this all as the conscientious objector in the group, the one that did NOT participate as I don't want to deal with a "gun" on ANY level personally (though I grew up with bb guns and a stepdad who took us shooting), and I tell you it ended up being just good clean silly nerf fun for them (and to watch).

 

[rachael95]

I'm thinking over thinking it.

Years ago, my brother and his wife home-schooled their kids. They never wanted their kids to see guns let alone have any toy ones to play with. They didn't like even letting their kids see pictures of people with angry or "mean" looks on their faces. The kids ended up seeing pictures of guns in history books and talking to friends and making them out of sticks. Kids like to play with guns.

But a nerf gun or a water pistol are very different from playing war or having a real gun. These are less about the shape of the object you're holding and more about a delivery system for tagging your friend you're playing with - be it with a nerf pellet or water.

I was curious if they had any nerf guns that didn't look like guns. There was a VORTEX DIATRON Blaster that isn't TOO gun looking. Reminds me more of maybe a SciFi ray gun than a real weapon. Maybe that would be a good compromise?

Good luck in your decision!

 

[CuteAndFluffy]

I am politically centrist and lean left on most gun issues. My DS4 is very into super hero play right now, but we stick to Super Hero Squad and 67 Spider-Man because we'd prefer to limit his exposure to violent content while his brain is being wired. It sounds like you and I have similar views...

That being said, I think a 9 year old (in general--only you know your kid) is capable of understanding the role of NERF toys as just toys. Lay down the rules and expectations you have for how they're to be played with (no shots above the shoulders or only for target practice or whatever you're ok with) and what the consequences are for not following the rules.

 

[amylevan]

If he has already played with them at a friend's house, wouldn't you be better to go ahead and buy them and then have a discussion about play vs real consequences, gun safety, etc? I would think it's likely he'll encounter them again if he has friends that own them.

And I tend to agree with the PP, it really isn't so much about the "shooting" of your friends, its more about tagging them.

Granted, we are a gun owning household, so I know we lean the opposite way there. But we are strict on what violence the kids are exposed to from tv, video games, etc.

 

[laughinplace199]

I teach preschool and I can tell you that even if you forbid toy guns, they will still find a way to play with "guns". The guns might be sticks, Barbie dolls bent in half, Legos, or just their index fingers and thumbs, but they will find a way.

I have 2 boys of my own and they are allowed to play with Nerf guns and water guns, but we've also had many discussions about these toys vs the real thing.

 

[bumbershoot]

I teach preschool and I can tell you that even if you forbid toy guns, they will still find a way to play with "guns". The guns might be sticks, Barbie dolls bent in half, Legos, or just their index fingers and thumbs, but they will find a way.

Yep. I just posted yesterday on facebook about my son biting his toast into a "blaster", and my friend said that one of her sons pretended his SOCKS were "guns". Kids will find a way.

We didn't let DS watch anything even near violent for the longest time, but just riding Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters at Disneyland when he was 2 (they thought they were getting in line for Astro ORBITER, but DH made a mistake and they ended up on Buzz) did it. Changed his whole world, LOL. I kept trying to stop him from talking about it, from using Duplos as blasters, etc (I would follow him around and disassemble them!), but when he turned a piece of bread into a "gun", I knew I needed to shift my thinking.

 

[darnheather]

Yeah, I was a kid who played with pop guns but as an adult said my child would never have a toy gun. I also lean very left on gun issues. My spouse on the other hand bought her one in DParis after we say the Wild West Show. Cat out of bag. She now owns at least 10 Nerf guns. She also knows how I feel about real guns and that we don't shoot people in the face with Nerf guns.

This thread has started nicely let's see how long it lasts.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

I was against my son playing with toy guns when he was little *I'm super conservative* a plastic sword, no problem, he was so cute "battling" the Orcs whille watching LOTR

From 8 till 11 each year he got the biggest, newest Nerf for Christmas.

I'm not afraid of guns, I'm afraid of crazy people with guns. This man enterered my home yesterday after he did this
He was so scary, thankfully my kids were not home, had spent the night at my mom's.

He wanted my car, threatened to shoot me. I ran away and I'm grateful I'm alive.

After all that, I'm fine with toy guns if the child is 'normal' I hate to say that but I can't think of a better word.

 

[MSSANDRA]

We are a gun owning.....teach them safety early family....but we do have friends who are against guns and even their kids have nerf guns. We do not let DS play with typical toy guns because they look like real guns and we don't want him to ever confuse the two.There are just too many family and friends that hunt and target shoot and even conceal carry for him not to take all guns seriously. He has a BB gun that he only shots with his rules and with an adult. We have a house full of nerf guns. There is just really no comparison. Explain to your child these are just a fun way to play with friends. Even if you are very anti-gun, please be sure you teach your child what a gun is and that they should NEVER touch one they see anywhere but tell an adult right away.
Kids are curious and if they have no idea it can hurt them, that can be tragic. ASK your child's friend's parents if they have guns in the house and how they store them. Remember it is not impossible that your child will encounter a gun somewhere in the elementary school years and it is important that they know what to do and not do.

 

[mommyburns]

I was against guns in our house until recently, my kids don't know where they are. They do have Nero water guns and absolutely LOVE them. We just take the time to talk about real and pretend

 

[bumbershoot]

This man enterered my home yesterday after he did this
He was so scary, thankfully my kids were not home, had spent the night at my mom's.

He wanted my car, threatened to shoot me. I ran away and I'm grateful I'm alive.

That's so scary! It was just yesterday? I think I would still be hiding in a closet in the fetal position.

 

[aubriee]

We are gun owning, so lean the opposite way. My dad and uncles were hunters and my dad taught me and my brother. Years ago after I became a home health nurse, my dad gave both me and my sister-in-law little derringers to keep in our glove boxes (yes, we were licensed). I now work in a psychiatric hospital and we are not allowed to have guns in our cars, so the gun is at home, along with a few others. We always had guns around the house and like me and my brother, both my sons and also my nephews were raised around guns. This year for Christmas, my D-I-L's brother bought my then 4 1/2 year old grandson a BB gun for Christmas. He knows it is kept in his dad's locked gun cabinet and that he can't touch it without his dad or one of his uncles with him. Both he and his 2 y/o younger brother have had nerf guns, water guns, etc since they could walk. They are being taught about gun safety at a very early age. It's just a gun culture down here. It would seem more odd if little boys didn't play with toy guns. I don't know of a single neighborhood kid that doesn't have toy guns and their parents have real ones.

Heck, my next door neighbor is a city cop and just this past weekend, I saw his daughters and a couple of neighborhood kids out in their front yard (and neighbor's yard on the other side of them) playing with those big water guns and their dad was right there laughing and playing with them. I'm talking about those huge soaker water guns that shoot like 80 feet. Like these:http://www.bing.com/images/search?q...A4C0F8E885A3535768FDB765D162&selectedIndex=11

 

[noahdove]

Well, my grandson has bubble guns and nerf ones as well. The RULE is, he shoots animals!! My husband loves to hunt turkeys and deer so, for that Cole is allowed to shoot animals..if he even thinks of using a gun at anyone, the gun goes in the garbage...so far, he is following the rule...

 

[mm1971]

Looking for some objective advice from other parents.

My son is asking for those nerf guns for his 9th birthday this month and I'm really on the fence....

Background: My husband and I have some liberal views and some conservative views.... consider ourselves "middle of the road'. When it comes to guns, we lean left. We don't own guns. We are not into hunting. We try to be mindful of the content our kids get exposed to on tv/movies/computer.

That being said, I did play with toy guns as a child. My parents have the same political leanings as we do now, but never saw toy guns as a problem. For example, when we went to WDW when I was 4, they bought my brother (6 at the time) and I the little Davy Crockett pistols. We loved them. We had plastic, realistic looking toy guns that would rattle when you pulled the trigger. We'd run around with the neighbor kids playing cops/robbers, etc. We had squirt guns, etc. It was all pretend and we knew the difference.

Thinking about the toys we already have -- we have tons of Lego City police sets which have guns (cops and robbers) and we have some Playmobil Western sets which have rifles, etc. I have some farther left leaning friends who wouldn't buy these types of toys for their kids due to the guns. To me that is pushing it. Yet, I also have friends who take their 4 year olds to see Avengers, Iron Man and the like which I wont' even take my 8 yo to because I think it's too much exposure to violence. They are PG-13 and just too realistic/intense.

So - Nerf Guns. My boys discovered them when visiting a friends house and they had an absolute ball playing with them. Now my son would really like them for his birthday. Part of me thinks - sure, they are for fun.... but then part of me cringes at the thought of my kids playing with them. I can't shake the thoughts of school shootings.

Am I over thinking this??? What are your thoughts? I know there are a lot of parents who have a "No toy gun" policy - does that include these nerf ones? What about squirt guns?

You are really over thinking in my opinion. They are TOYS and playing with them will not make your son be a gun toting lunatic as he ages. My kids have them and had them when they were younger.

Your influence and parenting far outweigh the impact of a few toys on your children. We don't allow DS to play "M" rated games (though I now he is exposed away from home), see "R" rated movies (he is 13 now so PG-13 is OK) and set limits and expectations. My kids have actually gotten into the Airsoft guns lately. These look more like the real thing and shoot soft balls using air pressure. We obviously had safety discussions and they use them for shooting targets and that is it. They know the rules and the discipline should they not follow them. The neighborhood kids have them as well and shoot each other as a way of playing. When this happens, my children head home and find an alternate activity as they know we will take them away if they were to participate.

Good luck with your decision. Things were a lot simpler when we were kids. There are so many more freedoms and influences with kids nowadays. We are old fashioned in how we raise our kids. They certainly don't like it, but I promise they'll hold the door for you and say "good day" without even a thought.

 

[DisneyMomma81]

That's so scary! It was just yesterday? I think I would still be hiding in a closet in the fetal position.

Sunday around noon, I was terrified but more in shock when it happened.
Here's my news interview http://m.ksl.com/index/story/sid/25621535 *embarrassing* if that doesn't work quite right it's the 6PM:Neighbors describe relationship story. I really hope he just pleads guilty and I don't have to testify - I went back to the police department yesterday after work and talked with a detective who took my statement again
I slept better last night than the night before, I'm back at work - just trying to maintain normalcy

 

[NotUrsula]

My 16 yo loves Nerf guns and has quite a collection, and he's an avid gamer as well. He passed down some of his "basic" Nerf guns to DD5, and they LOVE having battles around the house with them, and DH and I sometimes join in as well. Our rule about shooting people (OR animals) with Nerf guns or water guns is that head shots are absolutely forbidden (because even a Nerf dart can cause damage if you directly hit someone's eye, and a water gun shot directly to an ear can also cause damage.)

As DS is 16, and had this interest, DH offered to get them both gun safety and marksmanship lessons at a local gun range. DH thought it might be a good father/son bonding thing, and although I grew up in a gun-owning household, DH did not, so he thought he could use the lessons as well.

DS' reaction was classic: he flat-out refused and said he didn't want anything to do with real guns, because "those things can kill if you make a mistake!" When DH told him that he had offered because DS loved practicing Nerf shooting so much, DS very patiently explained that Nerf guns are TOYS, and that he likes to play with toys, but that he didn't want to put his hands on actual deadly weapons.

 

[rachael95]

DS' reaction was classic: he flat-out refused and said he didn't want anything to do with real guns, because "those things can kill if you make a mistake!" When DH told him that he had offered because DS loved practicing Nerf shooting so much, DS very patiently explained that Nerf guns are TOYS, and that he likes to play with toys, but that he didn't want to put his hands on actual deadly weapons.

Sounds like you have a very smart and mature 16 yo.

 

[Mama Who]

We don't allow Nerf guns because they're obnoxious. The little ammo bits end up everywhere and then they get lost or ruined and it's expensive to keep replacing them and... just not dealing with the whole mess.

We allow squirt guns, outside, both parties armed and consensual only.