lyzziesmom
<font color=magenta>Ask me about my short attentio
- Joined
- May 15, 2006
- Messages
- 7,361
Oh Hanes Perfect Panty, I saw you hanging in the store on your nice new display and I thought, "how perfect can you really be?". Then I touched you. Hmmm, nice and soft. I searched, and lo and behold you are in my size, and in pretty colors; not too bright and obnoxious, not too youthful, and most importantly, in a selection of styles, none of which include granny. You are reasonably priced. You promise a lot, and yet cost a little. I pick you up, and place you tenderly into my cart. I'm still not sure if you can deliver on the promise of the Perfect Panty. I have fallen for this type of ruse before with your cousin, The Most Comfortable Panty In The World. It was not, in fact the most comfy. It was, however, the biggest liar in the panty world.
I get you home and take you out of your nice neat little package. My, but you are tiny! You could easily fit my young child! You come with a nice little note proclaiming that Yes! You will fit me! You promise to stretch in every imaginable direction. I test your powers of stretch... amazing! I put you on. Ahhhh.
I keep forgetting all day that I am wearing you, which makes me quite nervous when I am outside in a skirt. But never fear! My hiney is comfortably and adequately covered in a weightless stretchy Perfect Panty! You do not ride up! You do not give me VPL! You do not roll down into a bunch underneath my doughy post-baby tummy-skin-flap thingy, but instead you fight gravity and hold it in a close approximation of where it used to belong!
I still hesitate to say that you really are the Perfect Panty, if only because I have not yet washed you. Promise me that you will not fade in the wash onto my other underthings. Promise me that you will not shrink. Promise me that you will not lose your stretchy goodness. Promise me that you will not perforate yourself or wrap yourself lovingly around my washing machine's agitator. Deliver me these promises, and I will loudly proclaim to the world that yes, you really ARE the Perfect Panty!
I get you home and take you out of your nice neat little package. My, but you are tiny! You could easily fit my young child! You come with a nice little note proclaiming that Yes! You will fit me! You promise to stretch in every imaginable direction. I test your powers of stretch... amazing! I put you on. Ahhhh.
I keep forgetting all day that I am wearing you, which makes me quite nervous when I am outside in a skirt. But never fear! My hiney is comfortably and adequately covered in a weightless stretchy Perfect Panty! You do not ride up! You do not give me VPL! You do not roll down into a bunch underneath my doughy post-baby tummy-skin-flap thingy, but instead you fight gravity and hold it in a close approximation of where it used to belong!
I still hesitate to say that you really are the Perfect Panty, if only because I have not yet washed you. Promise me that you will not fade in the wash onto my other underthings. Promise me that you will not shrink. Promise me that you will not lose your stretchy goodness. Promise me that you will not perforate yourself or wrap yourself lovingly around my washing machine's agitator. Deliver me these promises, and I will loudly proclaim to the world that yes, you really ARE the Perfect Panty!
Waiting for the next installment. Ode to the Perfect Panty in the Gentle Cycle. 
(hanes her way days are over. 
)
