Odd Conversation in Line at the Movies.

[DawnCt1]

It is so odd what some people chose to talk about however briefly in a public place. A retired man in front of me is in line to buy his ticket. A man and a woman a couple of years younger than him gets in line behind me. They seem to know each other casually. The man behind me says: "Hi Al, nice to see you. Enjoying retirement?" Al responds; "Sure am, howya doin?" Man: "Just fine. This is Mary. We're involved with "Celebrating Recovery". Al: "Oh, I guess I am out of the loop, don't know what that is". Man: "It's a 12 step program". Al: "Huh? oh well enjoy the movie".

I guess its better than discussing prostate surgery. It just amazes me that people want to bring up such personal stuff in public.

 

[LiteBrite]

A Celebrate Recovery group is going to begin at my church soon, and the woman who's running it talks about it often. Maybe this couple were like her, volunteering with the program as leaders.

 

[Saffron]

There is no shame in recovery, no shame in being in a 12 step program, no need to hide it, no shame in discussing it with a friend even if the friend isn't aware of the program or seems to not care.

Some people are proud that they were able to get help and they don't mind saying so.



What's the shame in discussing prostate surgery?

 

[DawnCt1]

There is no shame in recovery, no shame in being in a 12 step program, no need to hide it, no shame in discussing it with a friend even if the friend isn't aware of the program or seems to not care.

Some people are proud that they were able to get help and they don't mind saying so.



What's the shame in discussing prostrate surgery?

This has nothing to do with shame. This has to do with running into a casual aquaintance in line with a a dozen other strangers around and discussing personal information. There is no shame in recovery, there is no shame in prostate surgery. There is no shame in an appendectomy, but the world doesn't need to know. No one is asking anyone to "hide it" but is a public announcement necessary?

 

[Shugardrawers]

There is no shame in recovery, no shame in being in a 12 step program, no need to hide it, no shame in discussing it with a friend even if the friend isn't aware of the program or seems to not care.

Some people are proud that they were able to get help and they don't mind saying so.



What's the shame in discussing prostate surgery?

I was thinking the same thing. Talking about it is how people get into recovery in the first place. Sounds like Al might not have known how to respond though. Now prostate surgery, I'm not sure I want to hear all the gory details of. My mother, bless her heart, will tell strangers behind her in the grocery all the dirty details of any family members latest surgery. I was just mortified when my grandpa had surgery for prostate cancer. They had to pretty much castrate him. Mom had no qualms about telling total strangers grandpa had just been neutered.

 

[Shugardrawers]

but is a public announcement necessary?

Actually, AA step 5 could be interpreted that way:

Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

Guess it depends on who that other human being needs to be for each person.

 

[DawnCt1]

I was thinking the same thing. Talking about it is how people get into recovery in the first place. Sounds like Al might not have known how to respond though. Now prostate surgery, I'm not sure I want to hear all the gory details of. My mother, bless her heart, will tell strangers behind her in the grocery all the dirty details of any family members latest surgery. I was just mortified when my grandpa had surgery for prostate cancer. They had to pretty much castrate him. Mom had no qualms about telling total strangers grandpa had just been neutered.

That's fine if you know someone needs to get into recovery but one shouldn't assume that everyone needs to get into recovery anymore than one should assume everyone needs a prostatectomy. It would have been apparent to anyone that the relationship demanded no more than, "Hi, how are you, seen any good movies lately"? I guess one shouldn't be surprised when at Outback the servers pull up a chair or kneel down at the table for eye contact, and take your order.

 

[Charade]

The next time I'm in line and run into someone I know I'll make I bring up the vasectomy I recently got.

Same thing. Not everyone needs (or wants) to hear about it in public.

 

[jackskellingtonsgirl]

Maybe they thought the retired guy was going to invite them out for drinks after the movie?

At least they didn't offer to tell him about their recent experience with Viagra!

 

[Saffron]

I took the way you were as if you were embarrassed by the guy being in recovery, or embarrassed for him, as if he shouldn't mention it publicly, not that he was being too loud in a movie theater lobby.

I think of prostate surgery the same way I do an appendectomy or a biopsy. It's a medical procedure. It isn't shocking, gross, "naughty" or titilating to me to talk about it just because it's part of the male anatomy. It's surgery.

Same with recovery.

I must be like your mom, Shugardrawers. I don't talk to strangers about anything, but I don't mind if they talk to me about such things. I just don't want strangers to talk to me while I'm on vacation.

Maybe this is better. I'm sorry the man wanted to tell someone he knew about something he was excited about that you had to over hear, Dawn. It must have been awful. LOL!

 

[Pam]

The next time I'm in line and run into someone I know I'll make I bring up the vasectomy I recently got.

Same thing. Not everyone needs (or wants) to hear about it in public.

Why wait?? Share with all of us...... was it painful????
Did you:
A) cry
B) whimper
c) thrash and moan about in horrible pain and suffering?


Did you have excessive swelling?
Were you cranky and irritable - and if so - for how many minutes, hours, days, or ack - weeks?

Did you use ice packs or frozen peas???

Thanks in advance!
Your slight acquaintance and friend,
Pam

 

[DawnCt1]

I took the way you were as if you were embarrassed by the guy being in recovery, or embarrassed for him, as if he shouldn't mention it publicly, not that he was being too loud in a movie theater lobby.

I think of prostate surgery the same way I do an appendectomy or a biopsy. It's a medical procedure. It isn't shocking, gross, "naughty" or titilating to me to talk about it just because it's part of the male anatomy. It's surgery.

Same with recovery.

I must be like your mom, Shugardrawers. I don't talk to strangers about anything, but I don't mind if they talk to me about such things. I just don't want strangers to talk to me while I'm on vacation.

Maybe this is better. I'm sorry the man wanted to tell someone he knew about something he was excited about that you had to over hear, Dawn. It must have been awful. LOL!

What happened to the old adage; A time and a place for everything?? These people were casual acquaintances from the sounds of it. The first guy didn't even know the woman. Since when do you talk about medical matters, personal matters, mental health matters like you are talking about the weather. It wasn't "awful", it was inappropriate. "Al" didn't even know what the man was talking about. There is such a thing as personal privacy and from the sounds of some of the responses in this thread, that sounds like a foreign concept.

 

[drgnfly30]

It's called the 12th step...

"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

For all you know, the 'man' knows Al from his drinking days & is spreading the good news of his recovery...

Should all 12 Steppers, including my DH, remove their bumper stickers from their cars as to not advertise their shameful secret? You do realize that's what One Day at a Time, Live and Let Live etc.. mean right?? Sorry, sore spot.

 

[Saffron]

Aren't you a nurse?

Would you say something like, "At least he didn't talk about a mastectomy!"

I don't think recovery/12 step programs or prostate surgery is a laughing matter, yet you seem to think so. That's what bugs me.

The guy asked him how he was doing. He told him. It was a conversation between two people. None of your business, right? You could have tuned them out or forgotten that you even heard the conversation. I guess there is no such thing as personal privacy anymore, at least I can't tell that from your post, it seems like a foreign concept to you.

 

[DawnCt1]

It's called the 12th step...

"Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."

For all you know, the 'man' knows Al from his drinking days & is spreading the good news of his recovery...

Oh please.... Al didn't have a clue as to what he was talking about. I would think that if someone lived 60 years or so as an alcoholic someone along the way would have made them aware of a 12 step program. Now I wonder what all of your responses would be if the couple were attempting to bring Al to Jesus! Probably much different.

 

[drgnfly30]

Oh please.... Al didn't have a clue as to what he was talking about. I would think that if someone lived 60 years or so as an alcoholic someone along the way would have made them aware of a 12 step program. Now I wonder what all of your responses would be if the couple were attempting to bring Al to Jesus! Probably much different.

No it would be the same.... nothing wrong with someone spreading their love of the lord either...

Besides, he asked what Celebrating Recovery was, not what a 12 step program was....

Man: "Just fine. This is Mary. We're involved with "Celebrating Recovery". Al: "Oh, I guess I am out of the loop, don't know what that is". Man: "It's a 12 step program".

 

[DawnCt1]

Aren't you a nurse?

Would you say something like, "At least he didn't talk about a mastectomy!"

I don't think recovery/12 step programs or prostate surgery is a laughing matter, yet you seem to think so. That's what bugs me.

The guy asked him how he was doing. He told him. It was a conversation between two people. None of your business, right? You could have tuned them out or forgotten that you even heard the conversation. I guess there is no such thing as personal privacy anymore, at least I can't tell that from your post, it seems like a foreign concept to you.

No, since they were behind me and Al was in front of me, it was a conversation around me as he is reaching by me to shake hands, and at least a dozen other people. Are you seriously telling me that if you ran into a casual acquaintance, you would discuss an intimate part of your life in front of dozens of other people? Your right, it was none of my business or anyone elses but it was made my business. Yes, there is such a thing as personal privacy. Personal matters are kept private! What part of this don't you get??

 

[DawnCt1]

No it would be the same.... nothing wrong with someone spreading their love of the lord either...

Besides, he asked what Celebrating Recovery was, not what a 12 step program was....

He didn't seem to know what that was either. He shrugged and ran off to buy his ticket.

 

[drgnfly30]

He didn't seem to know what that was either. He shrugged and ran off to buy his ticket.

Same as my DH would have done prior to his recovery....

 

[Micca]

As long as they aren't discussing their lawns(I noticed your fescue was a bit yellow) I'm good.