October 19th Cruisers again and again...

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I am so furious right now. I am so mad that I am physically shaking. When I told Chris about why I was crying last night, his response was "well at least they are not dead." I tried to explain to him how I am feeling and I told him that I am feeling probably the same way he would be feeling if his daughters moved out of state and he couldn't see them once a week. He told me that there is a difference because they did move out of state and he followed them. I told him just to try and be in my footsteps right now and try and imagine what I am feeling and he told me that there was another difference, that my niece and nephew are not my Biological kids. So because they are not biologically mine that I should not be sad or love them like they are my own. I am so upset....so does he think because I am not his daughters biological mom that I can't love them as much as the biological parents do? Or their step dad that raised the girls do not love them as much as Chris does? Some support he is giving me during this hard time.
 
Mom/Heidi-Don't tell anyone. It stays within our family. Richard doesn't want ANYONE knowing what is going on.
And yes, as I am posting I am crying. I know it isn't that far but it is in my world. I don't want to loose the closeness my kids have with their Auntie and Bapa's.
GTG...can't handle it right now.

Heidi- please come over on Friday...I really need it.
 
Stace - I won't tell anyone, and I haven't told anyone (Besides Chris and talking about it on here). I had to tell Chris since he was home when I was crying. I will suck it up and come over on Friday.....that gives me 3 more days to be stronger and get use to it!!!!!!!!
 
Stacey, mums the word with me. You gave me permission to tell dad and to post and that is all I have done! I sure can understand why he doesn't want it out yet. The members will have a field day with this. Don't worry, I will run them over with a golf cart......if I can ever figure how to drive those stupid things! Plus, if Harold and Oatie got wind, it would be all over!!!!

To everyone else here, thanks for letting us type back and forth. It's easier than crying on the phone!!
 

Okay so this thread is going to be about Happy thing from here on out!!! Ugh, it's snowing out right now...huge flakes. We are supose to get 1-3 inches, it wasn't supose to start until noon today but looks like it started a little bit earlier.
 
Good Morning!

A new day and we are thinking happy thoughts. I am getting really tired of being angry and unhappy. Lets focus forward.....

Heidi- I'm sorry Chris's words hurt you so much. Men just don't think with their hearts only their logical heads. Women on the other hand think of the big hole in their hearts. It always helps me to remember how God designed men to be the providers and women to be the care takers full of love and understanding. Once the news of Stacey's moving has had time to work into your head you will begin to think of ways to make it work. I would imagine being a twin really makes it hard for you. I have heard the most amazing things about twins and the closeness they share that no one can explain. I've heard stories of one twin being in trouble miles and miles away from the other twin but yet the other twin still knows something is going on. There are some amazing bonds between twins. HOW FUN IS THAT!!!!!!!
 
Talked to Jaymee last night. She is doing ok. She is in briefings all week.
I sure do miss her. Her so called boyfriend called and left a message on her cell phone telling her that it wasn't working so they needed to break up. So the first day she got her phone back that was the message she got. SCUM BAG! She was pretty sad last night.
 
Barb - Poor Jaymee, what a scumbag. What did he think was going to happen while she was in training? Stacey and I do have the twin connection. One instance that pops into my head is when we were in third grade. We didn't have the same friends, she was the girly girl and I was the Tom boy. At recess I was out in a field across the creek playing tunnel tag and she was on the playground or something like that. Someone tagged me and pushed me and I fell down and broke my arm. She sensed that something was wrong with me and came to find me and it turned out I had broken my arm.
 
Barb - Poor Jaymee, what a scumbag. What did he think was going to happen while she was in training? Stacey and I do have the twin connection. One instance that pops into my head is when we were in third grade. We didn't have the same friends, she was the girly girl and I was the Tom boy. At recess I was out in a field across the creek playing tunnel tag and she was on the playground or something like that. Someone tagged me and pushed me and I fell down and broke my arm. She sensed that something was wrong with me and came to find me and it turned out I had broken my arm.
 
They are saying we are supposed to have a rare sunny day today, so far, just clouds.

Went to the funeral home last night. Julie and Garry are holding up. The flowers were very nice and they say thank you. It was very crowded! The funeral is in an hour.

Heidi: Barb is right, men don't think with their hearts. You know how when all you want to do is vent, they are trying to fix the problem. As for children not being biological, need I say more?

Barb: Sounds like Jaymee is better off without the jerk if he is so insensitive to break up in a message.

Stacey: Hang in there! :hug:

I had a message from Kaleigh's former social worker. Her birth father called her and wanted to talk. We haven't heard from him in over 2 years and she still has a packet of pictures for him from 2 years ago. It sounds like he has done some growing up. She wanted recent pictures of Kaleigh to give to him. I don't really have any right now, but I said I would send the 2 I had and will give him an update the next time I write one for Kaleigh's birth mom.

We begged off school today, but we only have 9 lessons left, so we will be done next week anyway.

That's it for today folks!
 
The disboards have been so helpful to me and have helped me focus on being proactive!!!! Instead of worrying about the what if's and what about and when....I am now focused on what I want to be doing when my sister moves. You know instead of saying I wanted to take my niece and nephew to McDonald's after school and now I can't, etc....I am not thinking in the ways that it will make it only more special when I take off work early (hello I work for the govt...lots of time off!!!!) for suprise visits to take them!! I have only been to this place since I was 2 and can drive there with my eyes closed....so who cares if it takes an hour and a half roudtrip now instead of 10 minutes, I will not let that stand in my way!!!! I can do it, we can all do it. (thank god I have every other Friday off!!!!) I will post this on my refrigerator at home for reminders when I am feeling sad!!!!
 
Good thoughts today guys. Good thoughts.

It starts off with Denine getting some sun!!! Glad to hear that Julie and Garry are hanging in there. Today will be difficult.

I had plans to go to Kohls today but I hate to drive in snow. Icky! I have to weigh in today too. Now that isn't good thoughts. I started eating when I heard about Stacey and never quit. OH--OH. It won't be good. LOL
 
Ok Good thoughts...I like that

Barb- it is so true about the twin connection. Heidi and I have both done it to each other...I don't remember the other way around though.
Jaymee's boyfriend...what a jerk!!!

Denine- Yeah!!! Sun!! We are getting snow AGAIN. It shouldn't be too bad though...only a couple of inches they are saying.

Thinking of Julie and her family.

Richard got a phone call this morning...they have laid off another 40+ people today. I was talking to one of our friends from there and he was asking where the unemployment party was at...I told him at our house but bring your own food and beer!!! It was funny at the time, not so much while I am posting about it. He has a great sense of humor...I hope we keep in touch.

I think I might have Richard thinking about keeping our house and renting it out!!! Hopefully we can keep it and when the time comes, my kids can be in school here...long range planning but it keeps me upbeat!!

Got to go check on lunch!
 
Stace - Can I vote??? If so I vote, renting the house!!!!! Stace was it when you broke your arm? I can't remember if you broke your arm when we were riding bikes with Marcus and Jessie and you slid on the gravel, or if it was the time that you fell and ran over me with your bike at Lilley Gulch and I carried your bike home?
 
Stacey already knows my vote!! I was the first to bring it up! WOW, another 40plus off. Unbelievable.

Barb, Dillards is having a terrific sale. Take another 30% off the reduced prices. Great formal and semi formal clothes. I am not sure when it ends.
 
While I think about it.....Stacey and Heidi. Get your passports so that if you want to take a last minute trip to Xcaret you will be ready. Otherwise, you can't go. Thank goodness we had ours so we could take that last minute trip!
 
I thought Stacey already had a passport? I know I need to get one, but it is just another thing to do!!!!
 
Speaking of passports my step daughter got one in 2 hours!!!! I didn't even know that was possible.
 
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