October 15-22 Molar Express Cruisin'

[perdidobay]

Hello Molar Express Gang -- This is actually not from Perdidobay, its from Mr. Perdidobay, her DH. Hello Mrs. Perdidobay! How you doing?

I'm sitting in a hotel room in D.C., just me and my laptop. DW is back home suffering from an accute case of post-cruise reality. This really is a not a way to recover from a bad case of End-of-Cruise-Blues.

Since this is supposed to be a trip report thread, I'll offer a Cliff Notes version of our October 15 cruise:



DAY ONE
Get on big boat. Big boat go out onto really big lake. Start eating and drinking. Many, many people on big boat, so food may not last. I decide to eat my share before all the food is gone.

DAY TWO
Big boat hasn't made it to other side of really big lake, so continue eating and drinking. Today, I meet many new friends on big boat. Met nice Italian lady named, Mia Gainza Pound. She won't go away. Afraid I'll see a lot of her over the next week.

Hear many people talking 'bout a woman that must be traveling with us. She must be really a nastly person. Everyone talking about how big she is. Also say they hope Captain of big boat avoids her. Her name was Wilma something. I never caught a last name.

DAY THREE
Big boat is really slow or this is a really, really big lake. Still not to other side, so continuing the eating and drinking. While waiting in line for free pizza, I see Mia. She introduces me to her cousin, a rapper named 2 Lbs Mo.

Santa must be vacationing on big boat. Even though we didn't bring our stockings and its not December, he keeps hanging presents by our door (no chimneys on big boat).

DAY FOUR
Big boat finally makes it to other side of lake. Good thing as big boat is probably almost out of food. Other side of lake is a really poor community -- many of the people cannot afford swim suits. I saw one women who could not afford a whole bikini so she only bought the bottom. She was better off than the ones that we saw than couldn't afford any part of a swim suit. I'm glad I have sunglasses. These poor people can't even afford enough land for an airport. Airplanes keep bumping into my head.

Back on big boat, I meet Mia, 2 Lbs Mo, and their uncle, for ice cream with sprinkles and a side of chicken strips. I mention that I have discovered that the waist on all my pants has shrunk. The uncle, Seymore Belli, explains that sea air shrinks clothing.

To be continued….


I've got to now. I'm running late for my group therapy that's helping me with my end of cruise depression. The hotel here has a big room with lots of little tables where I've been going each evening for therapy. The therapy is free but they charge for refreshments and between 5 and 7 pm the refreshments are 2 for 1! The therapy is working but I'm now waking up with really bad headaches and my eyes are all bloodshot.

In addition to the trip report, I thought this was a good way to surprise Mrs. Perdidobay with a Hello. Hello Mrs. PB!! I've been telling my new therapist all about you.

Signing off, the REAL Capt. Jack Sparrow...

14 (<---- Secret Private Message to the DW)

P.S. I'm sorry I misunderstood the theme for this cruise. I thought she said Mopar Express. That's why I kept thinking there was going to a car show. My bad.

 

[perdidobay]

Hi Captain Jack! I miss you!

You'll just have to keep working since I didn't win any money at the casinos last night.......... continue the therapy!

 

[MBFergie]

Thank you for the laughs..just what this gal needs as I look out the window to see the damage that chick Wilma did to my house and yard!!

 

[perdidobay]

OK, Mr Perdidobay, where is the rest of this report?????

 

[Donnica]

Ok THAT report was FUNNY!!!!!! Thanks!

 

[perdidobay]

My apologies, but Mrs. Perdidobay said that I needed to finish my trip report since there were people that were interested in the second installment. Well, here it is for all THREE of you to enjoy. (If Mom had a computer, there might have been four of you.)

End-Of-Cruise-Blues is getting better. The nightly group therapy sessions in D.C. helped. Now I just have to figure out how to get those 2-for-1 specials on my expense report.

Without further ado…

DAY FIVE

Day not start so good. Day 5 starts very, very, soon, after going to bed on day 4. Hours before breakfast, wife tells me we have been called to big room on big boat and I am worried. Reminds me of being called to principals office. Wasn't fun then either. I'm afraid they'll call my mom and I'm going to be suspended. Did they see me take three desserts from the buffett? Was I in trouble for running on stairs? Big room has everyone there - kids in PJs, Mia and family Seymore there too. He should not sleep in a Speedo or at least buy a Mickey robe. Everyone on big boat is there. Feel better knowing that not just me in trouble. Figure they going to tell us to stop eating so much. Must be really mad as us as they have police man there. They explain that we have to see police man. I hear people talking about Wilma. Must be looking for her. They let us go so I don't know if they found Wilma.

When sun finally come up, I see we are still on other side of big lake but at different spot. I am happy. Want to see if women here can afford swim suits. Wife says we have to stay on big boat today. Says she doesn't want to see me depressed again after seeing poor women who can't afford bikinis. I promise to not let it bother me. We stay on big boat. All day.

After breakfast, wife go right, I go left. Realize later I have lost her. Worried, I frantically look everywhere for almost 5 whole minutes. Scares me so I go have a drink and wait for her. While waiting on wife to find me, I meet really nice lady (meaning she said hello to me). Her name was Anneda Diette. While talking with her I realize its almost 9am and wife is still missing and, even worse, I haven't eaten since breakfast. I go look for food and find wife which was almost as good.

That night big boat has more food so we can go back on lake. As we leave, I wonder how poor the women would have been back there. I may return one day to help them.

As day five ends, I watch sun go down and wonder amount many things: Who is Wilma and why is everyone avoiding her? Will I have breakfast in room, at buffet or both? Will I get see more poor women tomorrow? Is the pizza window still open? Why is it getting harder to tie my shoes?

DAY SIX

Nothing happens today. Big boat just goes in big circles on big lake. Bored so we decide to try something different. First five days we spend all day eating a lot and drinking a bunch. Today, we try drinking a lot and eating a bunch.

To be continued….maybe

 

[oybolshoi]

Jason and I are reading! We especially liked Day 6!!

 

[Jennifer48]

what a great report! Just what I like, straight and to the point! You guys are too much.

Thanks for sharing!

 

[llyolf]

P.S. I'm sorry I misunderstood the theme for this cruise. I thought she said Mopar Express. That's why I kept thinking there was going to a car show. My bad.

That explains chrysler steering wheel someone ( ) left as a tag gift!!