O/T-- Freaking out about our kindergarten decision!

[2poohbears]

here's my experience from last year...
I have twins, born early SEPT (born 2 months premature). Our cut-off here is SEPT 30. We decided to send our boys to a private school as the public schools here are not very good. The private school tests children to determine whether to place them in Kindergarten or Developmental Kindergarten (which I'm thinking may be similar to "advanced pre-k"). My boys lag a bit on motor skills...they tend to be a bit more clumsy than average kids their age, and they were especially having difficulty with handwriting skills...so they placed in Developmental Kindy. What I didn't realize was that many of the other children who were "held back" were held back for behavioral/social reasons. There were several incidents throughout the year which worried me. Luckily, my boys behave well at school, and we discussed the behavior which they witnessed and had to deal with during the school day - so that they learned not to repeat nor mimick any of it. But it was certainly a concern I had not thought of before the school year began. Aside from that, I can honestly say that the boys did well, improving their motor skills, and actually learning to read level 1 readers by March of this year (I was shocked!). They are now beginning to read Level 2 readers, and even some short chapter books, with a little help. What I'm trying to say is---I think they would probably have been fine in regular Kindy last year, with a little extra practice on the fine motor skills. Academically, I wonder will they be bored this coming year? We'll see. I hope not.

I would recommend that you observe the advanced pre-k class, and observe the Kindy class for yourself...then speak with teachers, principals, etc to decide which you think would fit your child best.

 

[starstruck93]

Surely I didn't read right. You aren't considering doing pre-K at 5 and Kindergarten at 6 and again at 7. That is not good. He would be 20 years old in high school. I think this "readiness" thing has gotten out of hand. All kids are different, but no non-disabled child should be entering Kindergarten at 7. 7 year olds enter 2nd grade. I am a reading specialist in an elementary school and see little to no correlation between reading readiness and age. Best of luck in your decision.

No, from the way I read it, he'll be starting 1st grade at 7.

 

[katyjeka]

I say go with your gut. When he's in highschool its not going to matter that you held him back one year. He's still so young, I think its a long day for someone that little.

 

[Fabinva]

Originally posted by tiggspring
We decided to send our son born in Oct to K when he passed all the tests 4 years ago. He is a goof ball and so there are the homework issues etc that drive us crazy but this is his personality not his age. His grades are all high B's and A in a school system that gives A's at the 93 mark (don't know why) and our daughter will also be five in October and we will be sending her too. It can be tricky. I understand the K teachers want children who sit still better but if they are beginner readers and know numbers etc like my kids were it makes no sense to keep them back and bored. All the studies for that last 20 years on red shirting (term used for keeping kids back) finds that by third grade any differences caused by age are usually gone.

I believe same and paid for private K for my Oct born daughter when she missed cut off date. She did first grade last year and never had a problem academically or socially in public school.
My son is a July born and he attended full day K at age 5, he is a bright kid and gets good grades. I was nervous about sending him for full day K as we had the option for half day here but figured we'll try and see how that goes, he was fine and handle it well.

 

[momma of 2]

My dd is starting k this fall. Here in Michigan the cutoff is dec. 1 (makes no sense). She missed the cut-off by couple of weeks. I now am happy that she did. The school my kids are going to is a charter academy (very involved). My sons bday is August 11th. I questioned the teachers about him. The answer I got from the staff is "june, july, august, september birthdays are always better to hold back". I will be holding him back-not because of that but because I feel he will do better if he has another year to grow and mature. My friend has a little boy whos bday is a day after my sons and she plans on sending her son next year. to each their own.

I am planning on sending him to a advanced preschool this year (if I have to do it for another year, i will). my daughter will be the oldest by choice of the schools, my son will be oldest my choice of me. I can not bear the thought of both my kids graduating high school one after the other.

I think its a decision that you will find in your heart. Good luck it is a tough decision to make

 

[luvmy2sams]

OP--I think you've got a great plan in talking with the teacher. Take her opinion and then do what your heart is telling you to do.

We were in a similiar situation last year. DS's birthday is July 21st, so he had just turned 5. We did not have him in a traditional pre-K program, so this was to be his first schooling experience. We ended up putting him in kindergarten, and he surpassed all our expectations. Reading and spelling tests were expected by October, and he always did really well. He'll be in 1st grade in the fall.

It's a difficult decision, but you can't go wrong when you go with your instinct.

 

[Debbie7452]

My son is one of the rare boys (at least it seems that way) that went to K as a young 5 (late June B-day). He wasn't too interested in academics then or now. He's now 11 and going into 6th...I don't think waiting a year would have changed anything for him really. He did great in full day K.

Socially he was pretty mature and made friends easily. There was some question about reading issues in first grade, but he got with the program and passed with flying colors. He still doesn't like to sit down and read...he's too interested in building stuff and sports. He has become small for his age over the years and because most of the other kids are older, this is magnified. He's a mostly A student in spite of his lack of self motivation...so I wouldn't change our decision. I do have to stay on top of him to make sure things get done...but isn't it that way with most boys? At least that's what I've heard

My younger DS-3 is a Feb baby so no worries there! He looks 5 already and I'm tempted to drop him off at K this year...just kidding!

 

[mom2aredhead]

IMO you can't go wrong with that extra year.

I disagree - having a child a year older than the remainder of the class could potentially be disruptive for the teacher and other kids in the class if the older child is bored or not challenged enough. It could lead to a pattern of the kid being frustrated in class. And socially, I cannot fathom how having a child stay back a year and be surrounded by children that are a year + younger than them could possibly help them mature.

My dd turned 5 August 5th and entered K on Sept. 3rd (2007). Here (LI, NY)they go to full day K (on the bus at 8:40 home at 3:45). It is very academic and she was reading by the end of the school year. She loved every minute of it and never complained once that it was too long, she was tired, too much work etc. It was never even suggested that we keep her back & where we live children enter K as long as they turn 5 by Dec. 1st of that school year, so there were plenty of kids even younger than she was.

Our kindergarten is about the same - 8:20 - 2:40 school time, 12/31 cutoff date. My NOVEMBER birthday son who started kindergarten lat year (before he turned five) did really well since he was in a class with his peers. He was reading independently before the end of the year, way above the level expected. He had no problems socially, had lots of friends, and I have no regrets about sending him. The birthdays in the class were staggered pretty evenly throughout the year, so although there were 1-2 kids 10 months older than him, there were also a few that were the same age or younger. After spending some time in his class (class mother, so I was there a handful of times) the only "maturity" difference I could see is that the kids with older siblings seemed to act a little "older" and more confident than the ones that were the oldest or onlies...had nothing to do with their age.

That being said, as a parent, my kids have May and March birthdays and I held them both back. Both are excelling (and my daughter had attachment issues when she was younger). Many of their teachers have said that they are leaders in their class.

I am certain that I would have done really well on my SAT's had I taken them my freshman year in college. I also would have been the best player on the U6 soccer team if I was 7 years old when I was playing.
Sorry, but this is my "mountain I'm willing to die on". I have a problem with people talking about how well their child is doing in school if they are doing it a year later than the rest of their peers in class. If the curriculum is geared toward kids that are 4-turning-5, and you are sending a 6 year old, clearly they will do better, doing a disservice to the younger (age appropriate) kids in the class. This is why NCLB reporting and accountability is a joke. There is no way to compare "apples to apples" so to speak if districts have different cutoffs and parents are allowed to disregard them.

Keep in mind that if you choose to hold him back even tho you think he's ready....that if he is way ahead of the rest of the class (which it sounds like he might be) that it is totally unfair to then expect the teacher to 'keep him challenged' - after all, it is YOUR CHOICE to hold him back thus making him way ahead of the rest of the kids. So your choice for him not to be challenged, not the teacher's fault. And he/she has a classroomfull of kids who (mostly) are age-appropriate for that class (ie; the curriculum is specifically geared toward kids who are the age that is 'before the cutoff' in that area) - so truly, they deserve the time and effort more than the child who 'should be' in first grade.

I obviously don't agree with the practice, but I do sympatize with the decision-making. Honestly, the ONLY way that parents on both sides will be able to rest easier is when all of our children start on an even playing field (start K at approximately the same age - everyone within 12 months), which will only be when parental choice is removed.

I think you and I have met on threads like this before. I couldn't agree more.

I want to make something very clear - my feelings about this are not directed at any special needs kids, or any children that have been tested and diagnosed/classified as having any sort of learning disability where extra time may be helpful. And when I say diagnosed/classified, I mean by a physician, therapist, or a qualified professional trained to make that determination, not the parents or random friend or relative.
My comments are strictly directed at the "I don't want my kid to be the youngest" crowd, and not any parents of children that struggle due to a disability.

 

[LisaNJ25]

All of my kids have summer birthdays/close to the cut off. I sent/am sending them them all on time. I did have to hold my oldest back when he was in 3rd grade. Since than the cutoff has changed so he is actually where he should of been. The one thing I do not like is my son will be turning 18 as soon as he starts his senior year.

My little ones turn 5 the week before and the day before K will start. It's all day K. If issue's come up with the little ones I will deal with it than.

From the way you describe your son it seems like he is ready.

For those who talk about sports with us its all about age not grade level (until you hit HS) So those 6/7 kindergartners will be playing with 1st graders.

 

[SalandJeff]

In our area, all the schools have a 12/31 cutoff, with a full day Kindergarten. So my dd, who has a late October birthday, went to K at age 4. This is the norm for fall birthdays around here. She will start 1st grade in September at age 5.

She did very well. Remember that sometimes the child you see at home is not necessarily the way they behave at school. Like your son, it is like pulling teeth to get my dd to do schoolwork at home. But when I spoke with her teachers, they gave me a totally different picture. I was concerned about whether to send my dd to 1st grade or have her repeat K because I feel she is young for her age, but her teachers all agreed that she would be bored and needs to be challenged. She reached the goals that were set for her for the year. In some areas she was a bit behind some of the others in the class, in some areas a bit above, and in some, right in the middle.

I would send him to the Private K. Then you can consider how he is doing next spring and determine at that point whether to send him to another year of K or 1st grade. If he is able to do a lot of the work already, he might surprise you and I don't think you will be able to make the decision on repeating K until you see how things are going when the time comes.

...the only "maturity" difference I could see is that the kids with older siblings seemed to act a little "older" and more confident than the ones that were the oldest or onlies...had nothing to do with their age...

I also noticed this in my dd's kindergarten class.

 

[StephMK]

DS is our "baby", has a late June bday, turned 5 and started kindy 8/12 that year. We never really considered holding him back (other than me wanting him home w/me another year) because he was ready. He was reading, very social and talkative and on the larger end for his age.

I guess I don't get the not wanting to be the youngest argument because if everyone keeps piggybacking over the youngest, in the end, someone is still the youngest, even if they are all almost 7 at that point.

I can guarantee my child is the youngest in his class because at the end of K, the school recommended he skip a grade. While we were worried about down the road, ultimately, we felt keeping him challenged academically was worth the potential social & high school issues. Luckily, we are local to some great colleges & the HS offers several AP & dual enrollment classes. We feel that will keep him busy and the social stuff will just be the issue we have to face.

He finished second grade easily & is still making top grades - 97% range. It took a bit to find his place in class and there were some moments early on of tears when kids didn't act "fair". However, he adapted quickly, has made some good friends & we are comfortable with our choice. He LOVED getting more involved science. Handwriting and following verbal directions were 2 issues this year but not sure if maturity will help those or not.

He did get some comments from a kid or two telling him he'd have to repeat since he was the youngest but he just told them, nope, you'll see, I'll be in 3rd grade too.

If he wasn't as social, it might have gone a different way. He's one of those never met a stranger, will talk to anyone kids. He chooses harder challenges on a regular basis so while I personally feel I lost a year of his childhood, it was the right decision for him.

Sorry for running on but I know the larger consensus is to hold back and wanted to get a story out there that is really does depend on the child. He might be unusual since he is the youngest and then still skipped but if your child is on track socially and academically, there are success stories despite being the youngest.

 

[tiggspring]

I also think this may be a bit of a regional thing. Where I'm originally from RI/MA it has been my experience that if the child is ready they go. Age is really not the most important factor. Here in SW PA you would think my kids brain will shut off on Aug 31 not to be advanced for another year.

My kids are only (ds)39 and (dd)43 days too young and scoring in the 99th (ds now 7) and (dd now 4) 93 percentile on kseals for K readiness. Both were/are able to read basic words and count to 20, add and subtract with objects, write their names and letters. They both were/are very sociable and able to leave me without any hesitation and both compete in sports at an age appropriate level. To hear the school talk I am asking them to take a 3 year old! I have been told by the principle that she wishes we kept ds back even though he is getting what would be solid a's in most schools (here and a is 93) and has never had a serious issue with classmates. As a matter of fact this same principle has told my son what a fantastic friend he is and how supportive he is with his fellow students. I'm not sure what more they want. My son is a goof ball and a charmer so he has charmed his way our of a lot of homework issues but this is his personality, not a maturity issue. Just drives me a little nutty this age thing!