Nurses comment - a little taken back

[Lorix2]

I brought my DD14 for an office visit today where they checked her height/weight/BP for a lung function test...

When my DD asked how much she weighed, the nurse showed her on a calculator after saying "here...I won't say it out loud". When my DD saw it she gasped as if she was overweight. She is 118lbs and 5' 4.

After seeing my DD's reaction to that, I asked "why would you not want to say it to her verbally?" and the nurses reply was "well teenagers these days don't want to hear it out loud" to which I replied "why would you think her weight should not have been told her and you feel you had to show her, because now you've made her feel that her weight IS an issue which it is NOT". I also told her to let my DD know that her weight is within normal for her height and age and she agreed but then said "yes, but you want to make sure you are proportioned to you're height" while looking at my DD. Like my DD could have anything to do with that? I kind of cut her off by saying "thank you!" as if to say that's enough since she was ready to let the dr come in.

I just don't understand especially these days why she couldn't have just stated her weight, etc...as a normal part of an exam. I don't need my already self-conscious daughter thinking she is fat and should be ashamed of 118 lbs!

I don't think I was wrong to react the way I did. Would have spoken up?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

She's a freakin' idiot!

I never had that issue growing up and I was 5'4" and 130-135 as a teen.


(And no I don't think all nurses are idiots--just this one!)

 

[horseshowmom]

I tend to agree with you. In today's weight fixated world, young girls don't need any encouragement to find themselves "lacking". The nurse should have stated the weight as a matter of fact instead of turning it into some kind of melodramatic episode.

 

[dcentity2000]

Not really. Medical privacy is pretty commonplace nowadays no matter what the result.



Rich::

 

[paigevz]

I see what you mean. She likely was reacting to your daughter's SIZE rather than AGE. So many young girls look so adult now, and adult women tend to not want their weight "advertised" so to speak. However, I am glad you spoke up to remind her that this is a young girl.

In fact, I might even send a letter, expressing concern that any child should be made to feel as if weight is a secretive thing. Just to make them think a bit.

My son does worry about his weight...........he's in the 85th percentile for his age, and his height is in the 25th, so he's got a bit of belly, but if he's still in range, then I think he's fine. He talks about how much he weighs and if I think he's "losing weight". I think that's the fault of my husband and I talking about us needing to lose weight in front of him (we are both way over). I wish I never had, as now I try to tell him it's fine for him, and he doesn't seem to believe it. I wouldn't be too happy if some nurse made him feel even worse!

 

[Sandy V.]

I agree with you - the nurse handled that very poorly. Our pediatrician and his nurse don't say the number out loud (at least I don't think so), but then again, their focus is the height/weight proportion chart and if the kids are within the proper range.

As the mother of an 18 year old DD who is 5'8" and who weighs around 130, great figure, etc., but has always suffered from a poor body image, it would make me angry as well.

I would have said something to both the nurse and the doctor in private after my daughter's examination.

The last thing that young women need to hear these days is even the IMPLICATION that something is wrong with their bodies. Goodness, aren't we pelted with enough unrealistically thin models, actresses, and singers as it is without having a medical support person make us feel bad as well?!!?!

 

[lucyblondecat]

I tend to agree with you. In today's weight fixated world, young girls don't need any encouragement to find themselves "lacking". The nurse should have stated the weight as a matter of fact instead of turning it into some kind of melodramatic episode.

Absolutely agree.

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I tend to agree with you. In today's weight fixated world, young girls don't need any encouragement to find themselves "lacking". The nurse should have stated the weight as a matter of fact instead of turning it into some kind of melodramatic episode.

ITA. Kudos to you mom for standing up for your DD.

 

[BuckNaked]

Not really. Medical privacy is pretty commonplace nowadays no matter what the result.

ITA...mountain/molehill, IMO.

 

[fanofdisney]

In her defense, there are a lot of laws these days, like HIPPA (those forms you sign everywhere!), stating they won't share medical information.

BUT- I agree with you. The way she approached it was wrong. If your daughter asked with you right there, she obviously didn't care that you knew. The nurse should've verbalized it in that case.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Not really. Medical privacy is pretty commonplace nowadays no matter what the result.

Rich::

I totally agree.

It doesn't sound to me that it was anything the nurse did that made your DD react that way...just that she was reacting to the numbers. There are far more influences out there than that simple comment about letting her read it for herself.

 

[Christine]

We also had the old "lung function" office visit yesterday. This was with my DS (11). First the nurse measures him and determines that he is 5'2". She tells him to hop on the scale. He gets on and then turns around and looks at me with his eyes as big as saucers and says "OMG, I am HUGE!!! I weigh 107 pounds!!!!"

The nurse gets all flustered with him and says "Oh, you're fine, what are you worried about, oh my goodness, you're fine."

Now, my son doesn't really think he's overweight but I think it's very monumental for kids when they hit the 100 lb mark!

 

[lindakmonty]

I'm 5' 31/2".... to be exact I was tiny... I hit 100# when I was 14 or 15... and was a whopping 103 at graduation... but that's ridiculous! I know when my dh had his "snip".. the nurse made the comment to the Dr. that one of the stitches was a little "short" and dh...says..."hey...hey...hey...short isn't a word a guy wants to hear while you're down there..." just joking around...and the nurse apologized over and over...and told him later that if he said anything at all she'd lose her job. He was just joking around..he does that w/everyone...everywhere... they have to be careful what they say. I'd say she didn't mean any harm...but I'd had the same attitude you did. Like you need to even suggest that they need to start worrying about their weight!

 

[HappyLawyer]

Not really. Medical privacy is pretty commonplace nowadays no matter what the result.



Rich::

this is true, your daughter can ask for you to leave the room if she desires, they cannot determine who wants privacy and who does not so they go with pricavy, nothing wrong with it. My dtr is 5'3 she weighs 80 pounds and she is only 10 and she eats me out of house and home, i don't worry too much on the weight issue they are kids

 

[momof2inPA]

I don't think the nurse said anything wrong.

It was your perception that she was implying that your daughter was fat, which is your problem, not the nurse's.

Earlier this year, I helped take the kids for hearing tests at school and there was a blank on the form for weight. You should have seen the fear and concern in the 7th grade girl's faces when they thought they might be weighed with other kids in the room. I told them there was a great big scale like on "The Biggest Loser" and they would all step up one at a time. They didn't really have to get weighed, but I think the nurse was just trying to be mindful of what most young girls would want-- their weight not to be announced.

 

[cardaway]

It's entirely possible the reaction is a spinoff with an issue with another mother/daughter. Once where the weight was said out loud and the mother wasn't pleased her large daughter's weight was said out loud.

 

[Sherrypooh]

2 cents. Just took both my boys to the dr yesterday for their yearly exam. My 15 yo is 68 3/4 inches tall... (why can't we just round up a 1/4 inch) and he weights in at 156lbs. My 14 you is 71 1/2 inches (again, why not just add the 1/2 inch) and 220lbs . We all joked about how big my youngest is. He was fine.. the dr didn't seem concerned... we were just all shocked cuz he doesn't really look that big. Point to the story? At this age, I am not even allowed in the exam room as of their ages... but we all were together at weigh in and height check. Nurse had no problem telling me. FWIW.

 

[lowie]

the only reason i would see that a nurse/doctor would not state your weight out loud is when the scale is in an open area. my doctors scale is in such a place in her tiny office that when she says how much you weigh the people in the parking lot can almost hear it. not good for me
but your daughters weight is perfect for her height. i'd let the doctor know that what the nurse did was unacceptable and it's no wonder that young women are so self-conscious!

 

[kpm76]

Sorry, I don't think there was anything wrong with what the nurse did. In fact, I think it was a sensitive thing to do. Many young girls don't want their weight advertised, even if it's just in front of their mom. I think the unfortunate part was drawing attention to the fact that the nurse showed her instead of announcing it, thereby putting the nurse on the defensive and making alot more of the situation than was really necessary.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

Would I have spoken up?

No. In all honesty, I see absolutely nothing to get upset about here. Now if the lady had weighed your daughter and exclaimed "Holy Heck OINK OINK OINK!!" That would be something to speak up about. If the lady had weighed your daughter and sniffed "Good Lord eat a cookie why don't you!" That would be something to speak up about.

But here we have a lady doing her job, trying to treat your daughter (and all teen girls) with respect by relaying information that she knows is sensitive to so many kids -- in a manner that she feels allows the private info to stay private.....

And she gets blasted for it.

You couldn't pay me enough money to have to work around kids and their parents these days. There is a saying "D----- if you do, and D----- if you don't."