Now I'm crying

[Evil Queen]

I'm sorry.

I figured I was lucky I got the oldest to add water to the pool. Oh and the youngest did finally put the clothes in the dryer late last night.

 

[PaulaSB12]

The whole mother's day thing hurt my feelings.

DH is acting like I have no reason to be hurt. He is making me feel like I am nuts or needy for feeling bad over this.

The kids gave me cards they made at school, which was sweet, but they did it because their teacher TOLD them to.

I do so many thoughtful things for everyone else. I guess I'm just not important enough for them to give thought to me.

I feel like I'm being taken advantage of, but DH says, we are buying a new house, that is enough.

It is not about the gift...it is about the thought. I would have been happy if he had run a bath for me.

Now i'm crying and he is yelling at me to go finish painting the living room.

Thanks for letting me vent. I know I'm very lucky in so many ways, but my feelings are still hurt.

I have to agree with you DH mount everest over an extremely small mole hill, your children made you a card, does it really matter that they where told to do it? you got one. So why on earth have hurt feelings just enjoy the card. By the way how old are the children?

 

[Obi-Wan Pinobi]

First, Tressa - I'm sorry that your husband was a jerk to you because your feelings were hurt. Shoot, even I gave a gift to Lauri from the dogs for Mothers Day since I know she's sad that she will never be a mom.

But, for those of you using the term Hallmark Holiday, I'll go ahead and save Lauri's head from blowing up now if she sees this.

That term just makes her want to scream since as a lot of you know, she is a field manager for corporate Hallmark stores.

Hallmark does not make up holidays. They actually will refuse to make a card or product for a holiday that has not been declared a national holiday - and even then they still won't make it unless there is demand for it.

Mothers Day was started and celebrated in the 1800's, long before J.C. Hall was born.

 

[Laurajean1014]

I agree that it doesn't take much to get a card or whatever. However, I also agree that it takes more than a card or a present to feel loved, appreciated, etc.

I had a great Mother's Day and I got an essay from my son, written at school.

I didn't even need that. I am glad that I am loved and most importantly, give love.

Shrug off your hurtful feelings - this day is not meant to create barriers but to bring joy.

 

[siouxi31]

I'm so sorry you had a bad day. I really can't stand mother's day now that I'm a mother. I woke up to a messy house, made my own coffee and breakfast as usual. About two hours later I hear my husband get in his car. He comes back about 10 minutes later with the most Charlie Brown looking flowers. My daughter was awake 3 hours before she wished me a happy mother's day and I had to ask her to say it.
I picked up stuff that was laying around the house, did 8 loads of laundry, mowed the lawn and gave the dog a bath.
When I was picking up and doing laundry, my husband kindly told me that I shouldn't be doing that on mother's day. I reminded him (again) that the cleaning ladies were coming on Monday and they can't effectively clean with our stuff lying all over the house. So I asked him if he was going to do it and he said no.
I received one card yesterday which was from my daughter. She made it in girl scouts.
This morning I wake up and there are 3 cards on the table. I'm now wondering why they didn't give me those cards yesterday. It's not like we didn't have time. I went to bad at 9:30 while my husband loudly played guitar and sang from upstairs. It was tough to even fall asleep.
Then if you complain about it it's like you're a jerk or something. I'm not looking for expensive gifts, just someone to show that they appreciate me.
Sorry to jump in your thread like this, I just hoped to let you know that you're not alone and that mother's day stinks.

 

[Mimi Q]

 

[brittsmum1998]

I make my own Mothers Day. DH just doesn't get it about holidays...I now make my own. Yesterday I took off to the casino in CT. (actually the night b4) and left DH to take care of Britt and the dog. It was very relaxing and I didn't expect anything from him. that way I have no high expectations of which to fall from.

I do appreciate the "non" holiday gifts, flowers whatever. We shouldn't need a special day to be appreciated once in a while.

 

[hentob]

......... my favorite cards are the one's my kids make at school. i enjoy hearing "mom we made something for you today but we can't tell you-cuz it's a surprise" and then seeing their faces as i get surpised and teary over their handmade creations.

This is one of my favorite things about being a mom. I will be so sad when they get too old to make the cards in school. The thought of receiving a Hallmark card puts a lump in my throat. To me, that is just one more step towards adulthood

 

[Tigger&Belle]

Sometimes husbands (and wives, too, for that matter) forget that it's not the gift, but the thought that goes into it that's important. I just got back from a trip to WDW and before that I bought myself a camera (my early Mother's Day present I told everyone), so I didn't expect or get any presents, except for flowers from my 18yo DD. Not that it would have killed my 2 teen boys to have done something, but other than their oversight I didn't expect anything.

What bothered me most was my DH being such a grouch yesterday. He planned on making me breakfast, which he did, but the kids were still sleeping and therefore not helping him. When I got up to check on the hash browns which were cooking he got mad at me because he didn't want me to do anything. I understand him wanting to do everything, but I also didn't want burned potatoes. And I didn't mind pitching in. Then he was mad because the boys were not up helping him, but he didn't wake them up and we'd been up very late the night before, so they were crashed. So I understand the meal didn't go exactly as he planned, but this mood (and his rudeness) continued all day.

To me the biggest gift is time with the family, but when a spouse is so grouchy they can't give that, it's frustrating. Bottom line--I can identify with your day!

 

[Christine]

I try not to really put too much emphasis on these types of days. Really, they just don't mean enough to get upset over. And I also NEVER want to be the person that makes another person feel that they have to do something.

But, I suppose if I want to get nit-picky I could pick apart everything the tried to do for me.

My DD is very selfish and self-centered. We went shopping early on Saturday morning at which point she made me point to specific things that I wanted. She then wanted to go shopping with her friend in the afternoon. She asked me to give her money so she could buy me something while she was out. I ended up getting some Abercrombie and Fitch sweatpants (great, I can look like a 15 year old ) and the exact necklace I had pointed out earlier in the day.

My husband told me that my DS refused to go shopping with him or even pick out a card (which my son LOVED doing for DH's birthday last week).

Then when I got up yesterday, I still had to fix my son his breakfast, which I do every day. I started to do my usual Sunday vacuuming/cleaning/laundry but they all screamed at me to stop and that I shouldn't clean on Mother's Day. So I didn't. And neither did they.... Well, my DS decided to vacuum the living room. That's it. There is no laundry put away, the bathrooms are dirty. BLECH.

The nicest thing that happened yesterday? MY MOM decided to make ME dinner. She said I needed the break way more than she did. I bought her a Bare Escentuals starter kit.

 

[LindsayDunn228]

dinner. She said I needed the break way more than she did. I bought her a Bare Escentuals starter kit.

That's what I got my mom too!!!

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I started to do my usual Sunday vacuuming/cleaning/laundry but they all screamed at me to stop and that I shouldn't clean on Mother's Day. So I didn't. And neither did they.... Well, my DS decided to vacuum the living room. That's it. There is no laundry put away, the bathrooms are dirty. BLECH.

I'm sure this was not funny to you (and wouldn't have been funny to me, either), but I had to laugh at this. Sounds like something my kids would do--tell me not to work on Mother's Day, but then they wouldn't do it.

 

[Christine]

I'm sure this was not funny to you (and wouldn't have been funny to me, either), but I had to laugh at this. Sounds like something my kids would do--tell me not to work on Mother's Day, but then they wouldn't do it.

I actually do think it's kind of funny and I didn't even get mad about it. Since they wouldn't let me clean, I decided to run up to Potomac Mills for awhile and was "hoping" to come home to this immaculate house. Nope. My son managed to vacuum the 10 x 13 rug in the family room. Oh, and my DH carried the laundry baskets upstairs. The clothes are still in them.

 

[Jpgirl]

OP I am so sorry your day was not what you expected. I used to feel like you do but then I realized that I was making myself miserable by having all these expectations surrounding Mother's Day, Valentine's Day, and all the other Hallmark Days. So I stopped having expectations. Yesterday I got up and did what I wanted. Ds who is mentally challenged started the day off with a tantrum-but I didn't let it bother me-I just took him to work. I managed to get some planking for the house painted while dh made some repairs. He took me to lunch on our way to Home Depot. DD who is 21 didn't join us as she was still in bed at noon. Came home took a nap and then exercised. DD gave me a card and some candy on her way out the door to go to dinner with her bf. Ds came home and gave me a box of Milk Duds (yummy). Now 10 years ago I would've been crying a river (and I did) because I would've expected to by served by my dd and my ds and by my dh for that matter while I lazed around the pool reading. But by changing my attitude, I can honestly say I was perfectly happy to spend the day just like it unfolded. I was told by my ds's therapist that we make ourselves miserable-other people don't make us miserable. And if we think that others make us miserable then we're just giving them power. So take back your power and make yourself happy. By the way, think about how it would feel to not have your kids with you at all yesterday. I live fairly close to a 16 year old who died from rabies a couple of days ago. He was their only son, and I bet his mother would trade all the cards, gifts and thoughts just to have her son alive. Good luck

 

[YourMajesty]

This thread is frustrating. I agree that the "selfishness" is passed on to the next generation. Something is wrong when a DS refuses to buy his mom a card...and then we aren't supposed to have any feeling about the situation? Also, as the original poster said just any act...not just a present...of appreciation would have been nice. Even if you are tired you could fix your DW a bath...and cards the next day? My DS ask me what I wanted for breakfast and when I realized it would take a trip to the store for bacon I settled for a bowl of frosted flakes. It was just enough for me to not feel overlooked. My dad celebrate's mothers day like it's another holiday for a good home cooked meal for him to enjoy(the moms prepare)....whatever. It can end up like a day where everyone's selfishness stands out...not good. So not to end on a bad note...my DS who is out of school today decided he needed to eat his waffle on a tray this morning.

 

[suevee]

I don't know if this will help but what I do is look at Mother's Day as a day for reflection. I don't expect gifts from anyone, though I am thankful if I get them. Some years I do some I don't depending on where my kids are in their lives.

What makes me happy is I remember my mom, my mil, my grandmothers and the times we shared. I reflect on my roles as mother, daughter, granddaughter. I remember the special moments that make me so happy I am a mother/grandmother. The only request I make of my hubby is that we spend some quiet time together remembering all our good days and planning new ones. Ohhh...he does usually make me breakfast in bed (whether I want it or not) and then I go down and clean the kitchen!

 

[poohandwendy]

But, for those of you using the term Hallmark Holiday, I'll go ahead and save Lauri's head from blowing up now if she sees this.

That term just makes her want to scream since as a lot of you know, she is a field manager for corporate Hallmark stores.

Hallmark does not make up holidays. They actually will refuse to make a card or product for a holiday that has not been declared a national holiday - and even then they still won't make it unless there is demand for it.

Mothers Day was started and celebrated in the 1800's, long before J.C. Hall was born.
__________________

LOL, that term is one that Hallmark earned with their campaign to turn the minor holidays into the commercialized "If you care enough to send the very best" complete with commercials showing recipients sneaking a peek at the back of the card, looking for that Hallmark crown, to judge the worth of the 'appreciation' bestowed.

I say, all the power to them (great marketing and great products!)...but I can hardly sympathize that 'Hallmark holidays' has a negative 'materialistic' connotation. It's not about the company being negative or whether the holiday is a nationally recognized one, it's about the shift of minor national holidays turning into major expectations and materialism. Hallmark is partially responsible for that shift, they marketed the minor holidays with tons of advertising.

If anything, Hallmark should be proud that the term isn't 'American Greetings holidays'...because that would mean they lost their edge on the market.

It's an old national holiday, the materialism and commercialism angle is new.