Note to parents of younger children

[Joeblack]

Figaro30. DOn't feel aggravated. I am with you. The woman was a psycho. And she was lucky she didn't scream at me...I am not really into "giving the other cheek". I do give up my seat for someone who obviously needs it more than I do, and I mean OBVIOUSLY...a handicapped, a pregnant or an elderly person. Other than that, I probaby won't, and no one should feel entitled to have a guaranteed seat because that is not the way it is. I understand the lady might have expected you or anybody else for the matter to give up his/her seat for her tired child, but screaming at you was inexcusable and I find it admirable that the lady gave her seat up or that you actually tried to calm her down. CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR CALM AND PASSIVITY. The least you can do is come to the DIS and get it off your chest and receive some support. You have mine.

 

[Planogirl]

What bothers me the most about this is seeing small kids trying desperately to hang on while the bus is in motion. Waiting for the next bus isn't always so simple because it can be hard to tell that the current bus is full until you're already on it. Then with the crowd, it can be hard to get off.

There's really nothing for a little kid to hang onto and I blame Disney for those conditions. This is just an accident waiting to happen IMO.

That lady was rude but had probably had "one of those days". That doesn't excuse her behavior but hopefully we can assume that it's just an aberration.

wishin' on a star in Texas...

 

[georgiapeach60]

Wow! And I thought the debate boards were rough. I think that it is pretty well covered that the lady was rude to yell at you. It was also incorrect for her to assume that the world owes her child a seat. It is nice when someone can do that but it is certainly not an obligation. As has been noted many times on the DIS you cannot just look at someone and gauge their health status. For all that lady knew the same people she was glaring at could have had any number of disabilities that made it more important for them to sit than her sleepy child. I too have taken kids to things and they have stayed out late and then been zonked on the ride home. I don't think that is a problem but neither do I expect others to cater to me. I have been reading a really good book in which the author states, "Takes the shoulds out of your life and you will be much happier." If we quit saying so and so should have done this or that and instead say It would be nice if... Then it makes it easier not to get so offended by others. What we feel about things is caused by what we think about things. Change the thought and you change the feeling.

 

[HoneyPooh]

These particular threads always degenerate to the same exact point. I've only ever replied to one once before and will reply the same way now. My husband has a knee injury. He looks to be a fine and healthy 30 something male. He HAS to sit on a bus. I am a diabetic. I look perfectly healthy but after being on my feet for any length of time begin to feel very ill and swell horribly. We have also received MANY MANY horrible looks and comments from the elderly, handicaped, parents of small children etc. We are not mean and unfeeling people, we are also not required to announce our health problems to everyone on the bus to explain why we did not offer YOU our seats. You may feel that your need is great, but you can not know the needs of everyone else on the bus and they have no need to announce them to you. It's not a contest to see who deserves the seat more. If I'm feeling well and see someone who looks in greater need of my seat I'll give it up gladly. My husband can't do that as he will most probably fall and injure himself and anyone he falls on! I live under the assumption that good manners are more common than bad ones. Hope I didn't offend anyone, but we have gotten some VERY bad attitudes from people.

 

[jbw3]

I thought about this thread while I was at WDW last week and riding on a bus. I had read the thread before I left, and since we were going with small children, I was somewhat self conscious about it.
We have a 2 yo and a 4 month old. MOre than once, on a crowded bus, someone offered their seat. Thank you. But, I do not expect someone to give me their seat because I am carrying a baby.
With that said, I want to say this thread made me apologetic for things that I could not control. My baby was fine one the bus until the drive took a detour and dropped another driver off. This made a 10 minute bus ride into a 30 minute ride (no joke!) At about 20 minutes into the ride, my DS decided that he was going to throw a fit. More than once I apologized to the people on the bus (thankfully it was not full). I understand that a baby crying can be aggravating to others, but he was not to be consoled. At this point, people began looking at me and one man remarked "You would think that she could quiet him down!"
My point is this.....I think it was out of line for the mother to yell at anyone...hey...we are all on vacation. And, although it is nice (and very appreciated) I do not think that a baby makes it my right to have a seat.
But...sometimes a parent can not console their child, especially a baby and everyone needs to have some kind of understanding about that even if they do not have children.

 

[robinb]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>My point is this.....I think it was out of line for the mother to yell at anyone...hey...we are all on vacation. And, although it is nice (and very appreciated) I do not think that a baby makes it my right to have a seat.
[/quote]

IMO, if anyone is entitled to a seat it is someone carrying an infant! Did you ever actually have to stand with your baby, or is this opinion based on sitting each time due to the kindness of strangers?


-- Robin

 

[WDWMom]

I agree with you Jenny. We once had a DS fall asleep on DH. He was sitting on DH's shoulders. 5 minutes earlier he was wide awake. A parent can never predict when a child is going to "Crash".

When it is late at night and the buses are full, we usually wait for the next one so all three DK's can have a seat. If bus is full they usually share 2 some how. I have been on many a crowded bus and have always found a way to move and give my seat to someone in need more than I. I always make sure my DKs have one than make sure all other children do. Do I have to do that? No, I just do because I was raised that way and I want to raise my children that way.

Wonder how you all feel about this one. 5 years ago, we went to WDW and I was 5 months pregnant and even the dumbest man alive could tell (it was my fourth). I got on a bus with 4yo DD and had to stand. Had my big belly sticking out right in front of a man the whole time. Never offered his seat or anyone else on the bus.

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[isles_nyi]

And people wonder why I rent a car even when I stay at a Disney resort? Buses appear to be the most hostile places in all of WDW.

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[jbw3]

I did have to stand three different times, once with just the baby and the other two times with the baby and the 2 year old while DH was struggling with the stroller (don't even ask!!)
I think it is wonderful that people let me have their seats and I would not hesitate to offer mine for someone in my spot, but I have the feeling that some people believe that I would think it is my right to have a seat. Yes, it is wonderful to sit, but I do not want anyone to think that I would use my two beautiful children to boot the elderly or handicapped from their seats.
Hope no one misunderstood my comments from my last post...

 

[LIDisneyFan]

Have to agree with jbw3. I have stood many times with kids as toddlers and infants - no one owes us a seat, and I would not want to inconvenience someone to give up their seat for us.

If the kids might be tired, I sit on the curb and wait for the next bus. Just becuase I want to get on the 'next' bus doesn't entitle me to a seat.

And , yes, I do offer my seat to others, especially if they look like they need it. Always the elderly, pregnant, etc.

 

[lisapooh]

I will not give up my seat to others. They can glare all they want. You can't tell by looking a tme but I cannot stand more than a few minutes without pain. Fortunately most of the time if the bus is crowded I remain in my wheelchair accomodate the comfort of others. Not all that safe as my chair is not easily tied down and often the drivers don't bother because of the complaints of the able bodied. So next time you see a power wheelchair or EMV get on the bus don't complain about the wait to get it properly tied down. It means one more seat for the able bodied. And if it is empty, hold your tongue too, because if I have transferred to a seat it is because the driver hasn't tied it down securely and I am not going to put myself in danger in an accident. He's done this because of too many people hassling him about the time it takes to tie it down correctly.

Pooh Bear

 

[raidermatt]

The woman was rude for lashing out.

It is never too crowded on a bus to give up a seat. If it were, it would also be too crowded to get off.

Sometimes people are tired and the thought to give up their seat doesn't come to mind. Its just an oversight, and it happens.

Unless seats are marked as being for people with disabilities or for the elderly, nobody is obligated to give up their seat. Also, somebody looking healthy does not mean they are. The person may have a condition or ailment that is not visible when they are sitting. Assuming they should give up their seat is not fair.

Anytime we are in the situation the mother was in, the best approach is to not expect others to sympathize, but be appreciative when they do.

Raidermatt

 

[Linda]

Hi,
Just a reminder that here at the DIS we believe in ‘playing nice’, just like you would when you’re at the “World”. So please remember that we do not allow personal attacks on the boards. Differences of opinions are just fine and we are all entitled to such, however please keep if polite. If you have any questions about posting please refer to DIS Posting Guidelines at this link: http://wdwinfo.com/guidelines.htm .

Thanks

Linda

Family Board Host

Coordinator Dis Convention 2001

 

[CookieGVB]

I've been on crowded buses, subways, trains, etc. If I notice a young child standing, I will make room for the child, even if it means offering to let the child sit on my lap if I can't physically get up. Let the mother stand - give the kid a break!

Sis-bam-BOOM!

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Gail a/k/a CookieGVB

"All you need is mugs..."

 

[going2wdw]

Just wanted to add a word. I have one of those that can go 100 miles an hour but when she stops she goes to sleep. I've seen her sleep in some places that you wonder how could anyone but it is possible. On our first trip to Disneyland she was 3 and she would be nodding off as she walked to the trams. Luckily I had her hand or we would have lost her as she laid down on the nearest concrete. She immediately fell asleep on the trams and I transferred her sleeping from there to the car and then the hotel. She woke in the mornings ready to go. Yes she was very tired at the end of the day, too tired to be out? No. I'm sure there are lots of kids with a switch like hers. Once the excitement and fun is over they turn off.

This mom was probably a bit frazzled and hearing people comment and notice the situation was more than she could take. Some have shorter fuses. That's no excuse and it shouldn't happen but I wouldn't take it as sign that she made bad parenting decisions.

Janette
WDW

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[Tuffcookie]

I don't want to step on any toes here (No pun intended) BUT...If there are two couples sitting in seats and the mom with the little one is standing between the two seats...I know you don't owe it to anyone to give up your seat but whoever had the aisle seats could have stood up and offered their seat. That is not physically impossible to accomplish. Agreed, the mom should not have carried on like that but who knows what kind of a day she had. Be the better person, give up your seat if possible. Call it a random act of kindness or whatever....TC

 

[JujiD]

It came up that the woman's husband was also on the bus. Instead of yelling at the sitters she should have been yelling at him. Why couldn't he carry the little boy? My family was on a crowded bus at DW and had to stand. I carried one child, a backpack and camera bag, my husband carried the other child (4 yr old) and held onto the stroller with the other hand. It was not easiest thing to do but we managed. After that, we learned to wait for the next bus. I don't want to sound judgemental but, I just don't understand why either parent couldn't have carried him?

 

[Figaro30]

My reply to that one is that the husband wanted to stay as far away from the crazy wife as possible. That is why he totally kept his mouth shut the entire time. He has to live with the witch. LOL! As a matter of fact, I remember the husband telling the wife....."Okay okay, that's enough." Trying to get her to just SHUT UP! You could tell he just LOVES his wife dearly! LOL

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