Note to parents of younger children

Figaro30

Proud to be an American
Joined
Jan 11, 2001
I started this thread because of a discussion that was starting about things that bothered people in the parks. Somebody had written that it bothered them that parents aren't more aware when their kids have had enough. I wanted to share a story with you that happened last February.

We were coming home from EPCOT at night after illuminations...it was about 10:00pm. The bus was packed full of people to the point that people were standing in the isle of the bus. All seats were taken and it was really impossible for people to move around inside the bus. Me and my husband were sitting in two seats and there was a woman behind me sitting with her husband. Meanwhile while the bus was loading more full of people a woman with a small child, probably 3-4 years old, came onto the bus and stood between our row and the woman behind us. It was heartbreaking, but cute to see the little boy half passed out, he was soooooooo exhausted. Me and the woman behind me felt sorry for him. You could hear us say stuff like "ohhhh look at the little one" "he's so tired" etc. Things like that. Well after the 20 minute bus ride we were just pulling up to the Wilderness Lodge when the mother of this boy started yelling at the woman behind me. "You've got some nerve.....you could have gotten up to give my son your seat instead of laughing at him the entire way."

I turned around and told that woman we were not laughing AT HIM. The woman started yelling at me saying how horrible we were that we didn't give up our seat. I then told her how physically impossible it would have been to move around because the bus was so crowded. The woman behind me then proceeded to try to get up...which was very difficult and told the woman with the child to take the seat. She wasn't going to be accused of being selfish to a little boy. The woman with the boy was still nasty and said "it's a little too damn late now".

Anyway, we unloaded the bus and I comforted the woman who was sitting behind me telling her there was nothing she could have done anyway. It was that woman's problem not ours. I think she realized that after she got herself back together again. She just felt bad that the bus wasn't empty enough that she could have easily gotten up and given the boy her seat. I think any person who could have physically moved would have to given the child their seat. But really it was impossible for her to do this.

My point being....

TO ALL PARENTS: it's not anybody elses job to watch your kids or take care of your kids. To that parent I say "if your child is THAT tired that he can't stand up then you should have brought him home a long long long time ago". I blame the parent on that one and nobody else. Parents need to monitor their own children and not expect total strangers to accommodate their child's needs. This infuriated me that the woman behind me had her night ruined because of a selfish parent. (Yes I call her selfish because she stayed for her own needs, not her childs)

Anyway, It didn't ruin my night...As a matter of fact I had completely forgotten about it until today. ;)
 

Spennysmom

Earning My Ears
Joined
Dec 29, 2000
It just sounds like that person was a jerk. I'm sure that none of these fine parents here at the Dis would act like that. I know I never would. I might keep my son out late for "selfish" reasons at WDW, but (geesh) I don't get out of the house much!

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mormol

Earning My Ears
Joined
Jan 17, 2001
Hmmm, I get a bit offended when I see posts with "lectures" to all parents and was going to avoid this but to play devil's advocate and also just to point out some things to those who have not walked in that mother's moccassins so to speak....
We should ALL try to live civily in our society, parents and NON-PARENTS alike. It was inexcusable for that mother to lash out when it was obvious you would have let her small child have the seat if it had been possible.
I always try and give my seat to all moms with toddlers/babies/tired young children, to those of a more advanced age, pregnant women and those obviously handicapped in some way. These just are common courtesy, good manners that were instilled in me from the get go. I find it particularly important to let my 5.5 year old see me do these things as that is more effective I feel for children then lectures.
You really don't know what that mother put up with that day, how many people pushed her son to get ahead in a line, for example, whether she or her son were sick, something happened that they couldn't get back earlier, etc. It happens quite a lot to those of us with young children.
You don't know if she got to the park late, returned to the park after a nap, stayed in the park at the insistance of her child, etc. Not to condone her remarks but sometimes things do get overwhelming. I am sure she was not blaming you for her son's tiredness. But I am assuming that you would have given up your seat for a mother and sleepy child if you could have and would not have blamed the mother if it had been, for example, mid afternoon instead.
 

isles_nyi

Rooting for the underdog!
Joined
Jan 9, 2001
The great (sometimes not-so-great) thing about WDW is the diversity of the people at the parks. If you go there enough times, eventually you'll get to see everything! And even though it is Disney, remember:

Nice people will still be nice. Jerks will still be jerks.

I always think that Disney has the same effect on people as alcohol: it magnifies your true personality. If your a happy person, you'll be an even happier one. If you easily aggrevated, whoa! You'll find plenty to get aggrevated about here! And so it goes...

I go to WDW to have fun, and I do! Anyone in a bad mood...get over it! You're on vacation!!!

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Figaro30

Proud to be an American
Joined
Jan 11, 2001
I definitely always give up my seat to elderly, pregnant, children or disabled people. I even give up my seat if I don't mind standing to just anybody! In Disney I'm trying to get away from reality and therefore find it very difficult to get angry over things. This is my vacation and it takes a LOT to get me angry.

I would however still blame the parent for lashing out at a complete stranger over their own family aggravations. I don't care if the child was sick, if they got to the park late, or if the child insisted they stay for the show. The parent has to deal with any complications that may arise from any situation regardless of what time of day it is. That the the role of being a "parent". Because of these potential problems I find not ONE worthy of having that parent lash out on a complete stranger that did nothing wrong to begin with. :cool:
 

hfdoyle

Mouseketeer
Joined
May 24, 2000
Whenever my son is exhausted and we are on some form of public transportation, I will ASK someone to give up their seat for him. People are not mind readers. If she had asked, then a courteous exchange could have taken place (I would but I can't move, the bus is too crowded etc.). Sometimes you cannot simply rely on the kindness of others, you have to ask for what you need.... IMHO anyway!
 

Figaro30

Proud to be an American
Joined
Jan 11, 2001
I totally agree with you. If she would have asked maybe everybody could have rearranged themselves to allow for the switch. I know I would have tried and I'm sure the other woman behind me would have tried also.
 

Jenn

DIS Veteran
Joined
Aug 18, 1999
Ok - the woman was very rude.

But, if I saw a woman get on a bus carrying a sleeping child, my husband or I would give up a seat for her. Period. And, if I got on carrying my sleeping daughter, I would hope someone would be as nice and do the same for me.

I would not give up my seat just because it was a woman (unless elderly). But the fact that she was holding her sleeping toddler (gotta weigh 30 lbs) would be enough prompting to warrant someone letting her sit. Just my opinion.

Jenn
 

Figaro30

Proud to be an American
Joined
Jan 11, 2001
We would have gotten up but it was physically impossible to. The bus had a least 30 people just standing in the isle. It was packed.
 

jfranklyn

DIS Veteran
Joined
Jan 31, 2000
I think this is an interesting topic. I have a toddler, and faced some of the same things last year on our trip. But what we did was this: If we were getting on a bus that we suspected was full (no seats) we would ask the driver before we got on. If the seats were gone, we waited and were the first ones on the next bus. I'd rather sit on the sidewalk with my exhausted child and wait another 10 minutes than stand in a situation like that.

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Figaro30

Proud to be an American
Joined
Jan 11, 2001
PS Jenn...she wasn't carrying her son. The son walked on by himself and mid-way through the bus ride he was falling asleep standing up. I still think the mother had him out way tooo late!!!!
 

maddiezoots

Earning My Ears
Joined
Feb 6, 2001
I completely understand that it was impossible for you all to move to let them sit. AND, it was very rude for her to lash out at you and the people behind you. BUT this is my problem. I have a toddler. When we go to the parks, she is moving, having fun, laughing, and enjoying herself till the minute we leave. She doesn't act tired, and in fact, she wants to stay. My point is this. You don't know how the child was acting before they left. Many times kids zonk out on the way home, because they've been having so much fun. This happens all the time with our daughter. Parents don't always bring their toddlers to Disney so they can bring them home to be in bed on time. When we go again this year, we will not be in our rooms at 8pm, dd's normal bedtime. If she wants to stay, we will. I just don't think you should generalize saying her child was out too late, and that she was playing on her needs not her childs. Maybe he wanted to stay! And because they were at Disney, she said ok.
 

jennybobenny

banana fanna fo fenny
Joined
Aug 19, 1999
Figaro writes:
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> TO ALL PARENTS: it's not anybody elses job to watch your kids or take care of your kids. To that parent I say "if your child is THAT tired that he can't stand up then you should have brought him home a long long long time ago". I blame the parent on that one and nobody else. Parents need to monitor their own children and not expect total strangers to accommodate their child's needs. This infuriated me that the woman behind me had her night ruined because of a selfish parent. (Yes I call her selfish because she stayed for her own needs, not her childs). [/quote]

I respectfully disagree with you about the mother being selfish for keeping her son out late. We've been to WDW several times over the past few years and have consistently arranged our daily schedule around our children. We <u>always</u> take afternoon breaks to rest, relax, take a nap or go for a quick swim. Even so, on a few occasions my children have become extrememly tired after a long day and have fallen asleep either in their stroller or in our arms on the busride home. In no way would I consider myself selfish for keeping them out what you may consider to be 'too late'.

I agree she shouldn't have lashed out like she did but that makes her rude, not selfish. Apparently because she was rude you feel you can turn around and judge her as a parent. I wouldn't be at all surprised if only 10 minutes earlier that same little boy was wide awake and having a great time.

Also, since I've already jumped into the frying pan I might as well head for the fire. In all our trips to WDW we've only rented a car once so you can imagine how many crowded buses I've been on. I can't imagine how crowded that bus must have been for it to be physically impossible for you to give up your seat. If this 'rude, selfish' mother had been a very frail 80 year old woman I'm willing to bet you would have managed the switch.


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Figaro30

Proud to be an American
Joined
Jan 11, 2001
So do the last two entries make it a point to yell and scream at total strangers on a bus because your child is too tired????

If so...I hope I'm not on your bus.

I guess I just don't get it then....or should I say me and the other 90 PEOPLE on that bus that thought that woman was a total psycho.
 

Desnik

<font color=teal>I actually love packing and plann
Joined
Oct 16, 1999
First a question: Figaro30, do you have any children? I don't think anyone can disagree on the fact that that woman had no right to yell at the woman sitting behind you or you. I too have been on a Disney bus and do know that they will fill up the bus until it is impossible to move your leg let alone stand up to make a switch. Maybe the mother used bad judgement and should have waited another 10min. for a bus with seats, we can speculate all we want but no one knows what that womans day was like and why she chose to deal with that situation the way she did. To judge her as a parent and say she should not have her child out so late is really no ones business.
 

bfeller

<font color=green>"if he doesn't believe in fairie
Joined
Jun 18, 2000
Wow, it has to be time to calm this post down. It is my interpretation of the original post to remind parents of young children to be aware that keeping them up past their normal bedtime may not be in the best interest of the child, parent, and the people around them. When a child gets tired they either go to sleep or become very cranky. It sounds as if the mother was tired also, but that doesn't give her the right to lash out at others. I understood that the mother chose to board the crowded bus that had no seats available with her child and that they both walked on. If she really wanted a seat on the bus she could have waited for another. (obviously she didn't know the child was going to fall asleep) It was during the ride that the child fell asleep. It was not the responsibility of others to accomodate her sleeping child, especially if the bus was moving and getting up and moving around may have been a bad safety decision. I have always heard that once a bus or car was moving that it was unsafe for anyone to get up and move around. The mother was out of line by yelling at anyone. She obviously misunderstood the comments that were being said. Maybe the mother was too tired to really listen.

The bottom line is I think everyone agrees that it is good manners to give up a seat for the elderly, physically challenged, pregnant ladies, and mothers with babies/sleeping toddlers in arms(I hope I didn't leave anyone out, accept my apology if I have). But this is a courtesy not a right.
 

*Belle*

DIS Veteran
Joined
Oct 11, 2000
I have to say I have seen this discussion on more than one occasion and have never replied.I have to say I feel so sorry for the woman who was scolded for not giving up her seat. I can't imagine speaking to someone like that. I know my 3 yr old will want to be held on Disney transportation, but I don't expect another tired guest to have to give up their seat for me, and yes i have turned them down and thanked them for the offer (sometimes I except). I always try to plan my transportation so I won't be put in the position to have to stand and hold him, even if it means waiting for the next bus, boat or monorail.I think part of the problem is that Disney simply packs too many people into the aisles of all their transportation, it just is not safe. I think that alone puts people on edge. Just my 2 cents. ;)
 

jennybobenny

banana fanna fo fenny
Joined
Aug 19, 1999
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> So do the last two entries make it a point to yell and scream at total strangers on a bus because your child is too tired???? [/quote]

Figaro, I have no idea where you got that idea. If you go back and re-read my post you'll see that I most certainly did agree with you that the woman was out of line. I simply disagree that she was selfish as well. I'm not disputing anything that happened that night, and if I were on that bus I'm sure I would have agreed with you and the other 90 people.

I had to sit back and ask myself how I even got involved in this thread. Well, I read your post because the subject line reads "to parents of younger children" (of which I'm one). So in response to your post I'd just like to point out that simply because a child falls asleep on the busride home doesn't mean the parents kept him at the park 'for their own selfish needs.'

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<font face="comic sans ms"><font color="ff69b4">Jennybºoºbenny</font>
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