nosey question for stay at home moms!

[Cindy B]

Originally posted by Kermit
sales. I haven't read the Larry Burkette book, but it should really get into that because that was one of his big things. (He passed away earlier this month. )

And most of all, congratulations!!! I'm so excited for you!

I've read that book.. Isn't it called Debt Free Living? The cover hada ball/chain on it.

I've also read Your Money, Your Life

I've also read Affluenza (another eye opening amazing read!)
Affluenza is also a PBS special.

I've been selling on Ebay off and on since 1999. There has been a market for things, and some not.

I got out of the habit for buying things for Ebay, but getting them.. Getting is different, I either get them for FREE, or just cleaning out my house.

See, I get tons of clothes for my DD... she will never wear some of them before she grows out.. (no kidding she has at least 6 huge copy boxes of stuff.. )..

I've been weeding these boxes out, and selling them.
I've also relieved my parents and in laws of things and sold them.
My DH has releived his company of salvage computer parts (he gets permission!) and sells those.

I did buy some things specifically to sell, and thats not as fun for me. I like pure profit margins so I use stuff that I got for nothing!

 

[Bichon Barb]

Congrats! I thought I'd just add some money that you will be SAVING by choosing to be a SAHM:

1. Childcare costs.

2. Clothes (I swear I saved a small fortune by not having to buy pantyhose anymore--LOL)

3. Income tax -- This was a pretty hefty for us. The year before our son was born, when we were both working full time, I think we got stuck paying $3,000 at income tax time. The year that he was born we got back $3,000! That's a $6,000 difference right there.

4. Parking, lunches, gas, etc.

 

[lynetteSC]

Bumping for new ideas...

 

[IMGONNABE40!]

Get advice on what you REALLY need for baby. It is so easy to get caught up in buying a bunch of stuff that has little use, or is only used for a short period of time. You can get things in good condition, or even new, at a second hand store. Clothing in particular. Though it will be very tempting to buy many cute outfits, stick to the multi-packs of basics you can get at Wal-Mart. Your friends and family members will be so thrilled for you that they will buy some great outfits and things for those special outings. And Wal-Mart will be great for getting your new "baby friendly" wardrobe. You can get some Hanes T-shirts in a variety of colors for $5 or $6 and not worry about being spit up on, or pooped on or.....

Try to resist one of those pricey comforter/bumper sets that could cost $200 or more. Again, Wal-Mart will have what you need.

Put together a list of items you now buy, and will likely buy once the baby comes and walk around your local Sams and Costco to see if you will save by buying in bulk. Consider grocery shopping once a month. If you can, do this at a club or discount grocery store. I did this initially to save time and can't believe the amount of $$ I save as well. Start by multiplying your weekly list by 4. Over time you will find that you will buy your regular items in bulk when they are on sale, then you will not need each item each month. Make yourself wait until shopping day instead of running out to buy single items--you will be surprised at how well you can improvise with what you have on hand. Consider a food co-op or farmers market when you buy your produce. Go to a convenience store for your milk so you are not tempted to pick up "just a few items" while you are at your regular grcery store. Clip coupons only for items/brands that you use. Check sales circulars and stock up on sale items, but do not buy any other items while in the store. Remember, stores lure you in with sales items, but count on you to buy other overpriced items while you are there. My husband has been known to buy 20 twelve packs of soda because it was on sale! And yes, I did one time buy 112 canned items that were on sale at our local over priced grocery store. This was done at significant savings and the items were used--over time. Consider eating meat less often and using meat as a condiment or side dish in some of your recipes. Find a web site where you can find budget conscious and time saving recipes. Get a grinder and prepare your own baby food when the time comes.

Consolidate trips to save $$ on gas. Get a good stroller and walk where you need to go. Surprise your husband with a picnic at work by bringing baby and lunch to his office. Have items for him to pack on other days.

Don't get sucked in by those looking to make money off of you at this special time in your life (photographers, momentos etc.) Don't buy a bunch of toys and stuffed animals. Again, you will likely get more than enough of these from your relatives and friends. Most kids are overwhelmed with the amount of toys they have and do not get to play with many of them. Take some time to research what toys help babies at various stages developmentally and invest in a few of those. Kids seem to go for simple things.

Take advantage of the off seasons for vacations. Don't go overboard on gifts for family members. Most of them don't need anything from you. Usually, it really is the thought that counts.

Check your subscription list and let some of your magazines expire. Review other monthly bills and decide if you can cut any of them out.

Oh yeah. Congratulations. Your good life is about to become wonderful. Do remember to set some $$ aside to treat yourself to something special every now and again. You will need to keep your own batteries charged as well.

 

[MerryPoppins]

After our first child was born I stayed home almost a year. Then I went to work at a local preschool/daycare. He got a cut rate since I taught there, got to experience some time with others, and I got to make a little money. (Granted, it wasn't as much as I made before, but it helped.)

I agree that you need to buy very little baby food. I got a small, inexpensive hand grinder. It was made by Happy Baby. (They still make them because I had a friend ask me to check on the internet just the other day.) It comes in a little case (so when you go out, you can take it with you) and you can grind up the things you guys are eating for the baby. I would even take our leftovers, grind them and freeze them in ice cube trays. Then bag, label and date the cubes for easy servings. That way for lunches or nights we were eating something spicy, I could just pull out a few cubes for baby's dinner.

I sell things on Ebay. It's a good way to make extra money. Sometimes I buy something with the intention of selling it, but you have to KNOW the market for that item pretty well. Usually, I just sell our outgrown clothes and things around the house that we no longer want. Amazing the prices you can get for things.

Eat out less. Freezing meals is a wonderful way. I don't usually do the cooking for a month days, although that's a great idea. I just double recipes and freeze the extra. Or buy the larges package of ground beef to save money. Then when I get home I make maybe 5 dinners from it and freeze 4 of them. Just keep a list of what you have in the freezer so you'll know what's available. Last week whole chickens were on sale at 67 cents a pound. I bought two and cooked them in my crockpot. Then I picked them off the bone and froze the meat. I have bags of chicken in the freezer for 4 meals, already cooked and two big bags of chicken broth.

Buy used clothes for your child. Babies outgrow clothes so fast and if you shop around you can find clothes that look new for a fraction of the cost of new. Hit some garage sales. Don't be turned off by the terrible stuff you see. Look for the bargains. It's kind of like going on a treasure hunt. Even better, check to see if you have a children's consignment sale in your area. You can sell your baby's outgrown clothes and turn around and buy a new wardrobe for baby in the next size. They sometimes have nursery furniture and even bedding, too.

See if there is a Mom's Club in your area. From my experience most of them were SAHMs. We got involved in a great paygroup through them when my kids were little. It would give you an adult group to share ideas with. Some of our group used to do a babysitting co-op. They'd exchange babysitting time with each other, so you didn't have to actually pay a sitter if you wanted to go out.

No one has mentioned cloth diapers. I know a lot of people think they are gross. I used them with both of my kids when I was at home. It was pretty easy to throw them in the washer and dryer. I made the kind with velcro tabs so we didn't have to mess with pins. (I still have some of our diapers that I use as rags, so if you want a pattern just PM me.) I kept the disposable ones around so when I went out we could just throw diapers away. I saved a bundle with just a little trouble. DH was not too sure in the beginning, but even he agreed later that it was a good decision. And the added benefit is that I really believe it makes potty training easier. A toddler that feels wet after an accident doesn't like it and disposables are made to keep their bottoms dry. The absorbancy makes it harder for them to understand the cause and effect aspects of potty training.

That's all I can think of at the moment. Congratulations! Keep filling us in on the adoption process. I bet you are beyond excited.

 

[Ellester]

First of all, Congratulations! I hope everything goes smoothly with the birthmom and you have your darling baby in May!

First of all, I am in Charlotte so maybe I can offer some local suggestions. I belong to a WONDERFUL mothers group called "Mothers & More". I live in north Charlotte, but there is a South Charlotte chapter. Check out http://www.mothersandmore.org/ to find out more. There is also a link to a "Can you make it one one income?" page on their site. It is a group that is made up mostly of women who have left their professions to stay home (I was an engineer in my previous life!). I've been staying at home for 5 years, I have a 5 1/2 year old DD and a 2 1/2 year old DD, and baby #3 (unknown sex) due in March. I wouldn't trade staying home for anything, but it can be a struggle. The friends and tips I have gotten from Mothers & More have been a life saver.

I would also recommend making a very detailed budget and sticking to it! I am very anal about this and write down every penny we spend (my budget is in EXCEL). It keeps us from spending more than we have and lets us know how much we can spend on the extras.

I would check out consignment sales and stores for baby goods too. They are usually packed with stuff for infants. Up by me, the University City UMC sale is the first Saturday in March this Spring. If they don't have it there, a baby doesn't need it! Start picking up copies of "Charlotte Parent", they list a lot of sales and shops in there.

Locally, the cheapest diapers I've found are at Wal-Mart. I get their White Cloud brand and have been pretty happy with them. I don't know your income situation, but you may become eligible for WIC if you go to one income. Then you can get vouchers for formula, baby cereal, etc. You do want to get on the formula maker's mailing lists, they send out coupons all the time. I breastfeed, which is a real money saver, but obviously that won't work for adoption. (Yes, I know adoptive mothers can nurse. I am a member of La Leche League. However, a mom who hasn't nursed before has little chance of doing more than supplementing.) If you are interested in trying to nurse, contact the local LLL now. They have lots of info and stuff you can ahead of time if you are REALLY interested.

OK, now that I have typed a novel, I hope that some of this will be helpful. Feel free to e-mail me at ellester1969@yahoo.com .

~Ellen

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

Lynette,

You will never regret your decision to be a SAHM. We anquished about living on 1 income. How would we be able to do it? You just do. We only have 1 car payment at a time.

I shop for everything at a Wal-Mart Super Center. I know it is not a popular choice for some people on these boards but it helps us tremendously. I can save $30-$40 a visit over shopping at our local Winn Dixie. We are a family of 5.

I cook more often since I am home. I use the crock pot a lot. I double a recipe and freeze the leftovers.

I used to shop at Talbots, now I wear hand me downs from my sister and SIL. They are a little big but it sure beats having to buy all of my clothes and besides they have excellent taste in clothing.

We do splurge on things that are important to us. Our LD son goes to a private school for learning differences. We take vacations to WDW every 3 years etc. etc. You get the picture.

Get lots of rest before May! Remember that you can never hold a baby or love a baby too much.

Lori

 

[KristiKelly]

That's wonderful news! I quit my job when DS was 7 mo. Yes, I have had to make sacrifices, but being able to watch your child grow is sooo... much more important. I still buy nice clothes, just not as often and I wait for them to go on sale, buy classics that don't go out of style. I have been fortunate, my mom gets alot of DS & DD's clothes. If you like to eat out, do "take out" instead, When you go to a restaurant a drink is at least $1.50 X 2 people= $3, tip at an INexpensive place still $3-4, that's $6-7 just on drink & tip X 5 days a week=$30 at least, over a year that adds up. Also, coupons, coupons, coupons and check your weekly grocery sales - I love "Buy 1 Get 1 Free", if you have room for larger quantities join a Sam's Clube or CostCo type store. Right now, alot of department stores are having great sales up to 70%, once you figure out your child's sizes (mine are both true to size) you can get clothes for next year. Last year I got my DD a coat for this year, had been $65 for about $13. I also do the same with summer clothes. Last year my mom spent $180 and bought over $700 worth of winter clothes for my kids, for this year. I hope this helps and Best of Luck!!!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

I went from a full-time job as an RN to working 1 day a week. I have a 5yo DS and a 4 month old DD. My DH is very good at budgeting our money. He actually drives me crazy sometimes. When I worked full-time I spent money as I pleased, now I'm given somewhat of an allowance which I use for gas, groceries things like that. Sometimes, its difficult especially around the holidays but it all works out. I've had to cut down on buying alot of clothes for myself. I wait until there's a sale and I like the outlet stores. I buy my sons clothes a year ahead of time. I get them on clearance so he can still wear Tommy, Gap etc. Most places will take stuff back indefinetly with a receipt. I'm also lucky to have a mom who buys alot of things that otherwise we couldn't afford. I have also started selling on ebay. We're going to WDW in Nov. and I'm trying to make enough to pay for our meals. It is amazing what people will pay for things. Good luck on the adoption! You will never regret staying home.

 

[huey duey & luey]

Somethings will just ave you money based on lifestyle change alone. We don't go out to dinner (maybe 1 a month or every other and usually family friendly aka cheap places), it is just hard with the kids and not always enjoyable. We don't go to the movies, I barely rent them by the time the kids go tWe do have 2 cars but Im saving on gas, tolls clothing and lunch all things I needed while working). When I worked full time I often didn't feel like cooking so we would order out 2-3 times a week. Now I am home so I cook and I like to know what my kids are eating. I also buy most of our clothes on sale (esp Gap has big turnaround( I have also found that when using dept store coupons (macy's L&T you can get really good buys). I also buy alot of sale items at the grocery store and have found the target has cereal and cookies cheaper. Costco or price club also is a good way to shop. Store brands are fine in alot of products and cheaper. Congratulations and good luck. HTH
Tara

I also wanted to add that while we always took a vaction to disney every year we also took another vacation, plus would do alot of weekend trips NYC Atlantic city. Since we had the kids (almost 2) we are only working on our 2nd trip to disney in the fall. This has been a big savings I also used to get regular manicures and my hair cut and highlighted (now Im lucky if I get my hair cut every 6 months. These little things do add up

 

[Nutsy]

First of all Congratulations to the happy couple


I've not worked since I was 6 weeks pregnant with my first. As soon as I knew I was expecting I handed in my notice & gave up work...............

I always knew that I wanted to be a Mum first & foremost & I had no intenton of working while someone else got the joys from bringing up my baby.

I wanted to be the one who saw the first smile, be the one who was there when they got their first tooth, crawled, walked etc.

We managed on one wage & always have.........we paid off a Mortgage on one way & put 2 kids through school.

We didn't have a lot of money to go around, but we managed & most improtantly I was there for my babies.....I looked after them & I toilet trained them.

It is every womans choice as to what they do. I have a niece who has 2 young boys & still works...........her Mum looks after the kids.........I fail to see the point in this.............why is work so important that you can't give it up to be with your own children. Why pay someone else to raise the children you so much wanted.

 

[KristiKelly]

I've already posted once, but also wanted to mention that your life style may not change a great deal, although your life will forever be changed. It depends greatly on your income. Consider these costs:

Daycare: in our area $580-$1200 a month
Clothing: If you stay home, you don't need to dress up everyday
Gas & wear & tear on car: you won't have to drive nearly as much
Car Insurance: Our Ins Co offers a discount for under 10 miles daily
Lunch: you'll be able to eat at home more
Dinner: When you work, it's too late to cook or you're to tired, staying at home, you have more time - maybe.

If you consider some of these, you may find out that you might break even.

Just remember 1st smile, 1st crawl, 1st word, 1st tooth, 1st steps, 1st field trip - Priceless. No job can buy you that. Good Luck!

 

[lynetteSC]

Thanks everyone for all your advice! I am looking forward to all the "firsts" that our new baby will have!

You guys have EXCELLENT suggestions!!!!