Non-Smokers Would You Date A Smoker

[Kath2003]

Wow, smoker-hatred is alive and well.

I don't hate smokers. I just personally do not enjoy the smell of smoke and do not want to be around it. I also can't imagine kissing someone who smelt or tasted of it. It disgusts me; the smell makes me feel sick; and I personally couldn't sit by and watch the person I chose to share my life with do something which was so detrimental to their health.

People can smoke all the want (outside or in their own home, in the UK) - that's their decision and nothing to do with me; but it's something I find to be a huge turn off. Nausea generally does that for me, y'know? So sorry, whether I find you attractive or not, smoking overrides all of that for me and I would simply not date a smoker.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I think when some are talking about smokers hatred is because some really come off being judgemental and just plain rude.

I get that some think smoking is bad and yes it doesn't smell good and naturally it's bad for health reasons.

However, I never not once thought my husband smelled bad. When I'm cuddled with my husband or getting one of his wonderful this is my safe spot hugs, I smell his cologne or his deodrant. I don't even smell his cigs.

When I'm looking at my handsome husband, I'm not looking for things to be critical about and no he doesn't have yellow teeth or fingernails(the nicotine must be in his nasty as all get out toenails ). I'm looking at a man that is looking at me with love and tenderness and loves me for being me and Im sure not perfect.

I've kissed my husband a thousand times and never tasted nasty stuff. Maybe he always rinses his mouth or choose gum before kisisng me but I've never tasted it and yeah I'm sure it's because I'm kissing him as a sign of affection and out love and not because I'm trying to be critical.

I've seen alot of smokers and very seldom see the kind of people that are being referred to here. I think it's a little extreme and really critical. If you dont like that person's habits that is okay but to judge a whole group of people for one habit isn't.

 

[Rence]

Some folks are acting like one must be ready willing and able to date anyone at anytime. Nonsense. We all make (or made) choices with regards to who we date based on a huge number of factors. For some people smoking is one of these factors. In some cases it is a deal breaker - in other cases they would prefer not to. For other folks, it is no big deal.

Dating is all about compatibility. A dog lover would probably not consider dating a dog hater. A neat and tidy person, would probably not consider dating someone who is a total slob etc. etc. Doesn't mean there is anything wrong with these people, just that they are incompatible.

A person who doesn't like being around smoking quite simply is incompatible with a person who is a smoker. So what is wrong with just acknowledging this upfront?

 

[Ride Junkie]

DH and I don't smoke. Back in my single days, I tried to date a smoker, but I couldn't hack the smell (plus I'm allergic to cigarette smoke). So it's a no for me.

It's a personal choice who you want to date. For me, smoking was a deal-breaker. It doesn't make the smoker a bad person, it just makes them a smoker.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I want to thank you all for showing me the light! I am on my way to file divorce papers to rid myself of my yellow teeth, stinky clothes, bad breath monster.

 

[smartestnumber5]

I think when some are talking about smokers hatred is because some really come off being judgemental and just plain rude.

I get that some think smoking is bad and yes it doesn't smell good and naturally it's bad for health reasons.

However, I never not once thought my husband smelled bad. When I'm cuddled with my husband or getting one of his wonderful this is my safe spot hugs, I smell his cologne or his deodrant. I don't even smell his cigs.

When I'm looking at my handsome husband, I'm not looking for things to be critical about and no he doesn't have yellow teeth or fingernails(the nicotine must be in his nasty as all get out toenails ). I'm looking at a man that is looking at me with love and tenderness and loves me for being me and Im sure not perfect.

I've kissed my husband a thousand times and never tasted nasty stuff. Maybe he always rinses his mouth or choose gum before kisisng me but I've never tasted it and yeah I'm sure it's because I'm kissing him as a sign of affection and out love and not because I'm trying to be critical.

I've seen alot of smokers and very seldom see the kind of people that are being referred to here. I think it's a little extreme and really critical. If you dont like that person's habits that is okay but to judge a whole group of people for one habit isn't.

Yes I was thinking the same thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to date a smoker or with being sensitive to the smell of smoke or not finding it pleasant to be around. I personally would much rather smell smoke than perfume or cologne and I can imagine a situation in which I could not date someone because the amount of cologne/perfume they liked to wear made smelling them unpleasant for me. It doesn't follow that wearing perfume/cologne is inherently disgusting or should be judged or compared to people who pull poop out of their butt in public.

I don't understand the "kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray" thing. That has never been my experience in kissing GF even just after she has a cigarette (nor was it my experience in kissing other people who smoked). I can't say I've noticed any difference at all in what it was like to kiss a person who smoked vs. a person who didn't. GF's teeth also are no more yellow than mine and I've never smoked a cigarette. And her fingernails aren't any different than mine either. (Yes her toenails need work but that's because she let's them grow to long and stabs me with them--I don't think that's a result of the smoking!) I feel like some of these things must have come from the TV PSAs against smoking or something because they aren't things that I've noticed in real life.

 

[AlexandNessa]

I think when some are talking about smokers hatred is because some really come off being judgemental and just plain rude.

I get that some think smoking is bad and yes it doesn't smell good and naturally it's bad for health reasons.

However, I never not once thought my husband smelled bad. When I'm cuddled with my husband or getting one of his wonderful this is my safe spot hugs, I smell his cologne or his deodrant. I don't even smell his cigs.

When I'm looking at my handsome husband, I'm not looking for things to be critical about and no he doesn't have yellow teeth or fingernails(the nicotine must be in his nasty as all get out toenails ). I'm looking at a man that is looking at me with love and tenderness and loves me for being me and Im sure not perfect.

I've kissed my husband a thousand times and never tasted nasty stuff. Maybe he always rinses his mouth or choose gum before kisisng me but I've never tasted it and yeah I'm sure it's because I'm kissing him as a sign of affection and out love and not because I'm trying to be critical.

I've seen alot of smokers and very seldom see the kind of people that are being referred to here. I think it's a little extreme and really critical. If you dont like that person's habits that is okay but to judge a whole group of people for one habit isn't.

Thank you.

I was curiously reading this thread as a non-smoker married to a smoker. I found some of the responses a little harsh (just note the many "caps" and exclamation points [!!!!] and "never"s).

This has been a hard thread for me to read.

But I can say this: my husband loves me and puts our marriage first … ALWAYS. He doesn't have yellow teeth. He never smells of smoke, on his clothes or his breath or otherwise. He is extremely self-conscious about the smell (possibly from reading this thread?), and as a result, probably goes a little overboard in insuring that he doesn't even carry the hint of smoke. He knows he has to quit. But he's not ready yet. I thank God that I will be there for him when he's ready and will support him and encourage him just as he is supportive and encouraging every beautiful day of our life together. I love my husband, warts and all, and I consider myself extremely lucky to have found him. I didn't intend to date or marry a smoker. But you can't help who you fall in love with.

 

[Jennasis]

Well MY personal experience kissing a smoker, was not nearly as pleasant as the previous two posters. It was indeed like licking an ashtray.

The question posed was not "should anybody who is a non-smoker ever date a smoke?". It was "would you as a non-smoker, date a smoker". It is very much an opinion. Everybody has one and is entitled to one.

 

[DVC Sadie]

I also wouldn't date someone who picks their nose and eats it either or spends time digging in their rectum for dingleberries. What's the difference between those behaviors and smoking? They are all disgusting habits IMO and if all that blows smoke up your skirt, great. It doesn't for me.

Well, your post explains it all to me! To liken a smoker to a person who eats their poop is unfreaking believable.

Have a very Merry Christmas and the Happiest of New Years.

 

[Ride Junkie]

I had to look up 'dingleberries'. That's a new one on me!!

 

[DVC Sadie]

I think when some are talking about smokers hatred is because some really come off being judgemental and just plain rude.

I get that some think smoking is bad and yes it doesn't smell good and naturally it's bad for health reasons.

However, I never not once thought my husband smelled bad. When I'm cuddled with my husband or getting one of his wonderful this is my safe spot hugs, I smell his cologne or his deodrant. I don't even smell his cigs.

When I'm looking at my handsome husband, I'm not looking for things to be critical about and no he doesn't have yellow teeth or fingernails(the nicotine must be in his nasty as all get out toenails ). I'm looking at a man that is looking at me with love and tenderness and loves me for being me and Im sure not perfect.

I've kissed my husband a thousand times and never tasted nasty stuff. Maybe he always rinses his mouth or choose gum before kisisng me but I've never tasted it and yeah I'm sure it's because I'm kissing him as a sign of affection and out love and not because I'm trying to be critical.

I've seen alot of smokers and very seldom see the kind of people that are being referred to here. I think it's a little extreme and really critical. If you dont like that person's habits that is okay but to judge a whole group of people for one habit isn't.

I agree!

You know what, we are blessed, to be able to love people for who they are, warts and all. I am not perfect and never have claimed to be but I do try to be kind which is more then I can say for some people.

 

[daughter_of_amid_chaos]

DVC Sadie...Good luck and congratulations on quitting smoking. I know that most of us on the DIS are here supporting you 100%

The guy I have been seeing on and off quit smoking a few months ago but during a stressful period of time started up again and was disgusted at himself for trying so hard to quit and then picking it back up so easily. He decided to quit smoking for his health, he is also going on a diet and decreasing his alcohol intake.

I did not say you have to stop smoking to date me. I supported him and cared about him regardless. He always kept clean clothes in his car (never smoked in there) to wear when he came over to my house out of respect for my non-smoking family. He chewed gum, brushes his teeth, etc. before kissing me.

 

[MamaLema]

sorry, I could not date a smoker.

 

[DVC Sadie]

DVC Sadie...Good luck and congratulations on quitting smoking. I know that most of us on the DIS are here supporting you 100%

The guy I have been seeing on and off quit smoking a few months ago but during a stressful period of time started up again and was disgusted at himself for trying so hard to quit and then picking it back up so easily. He decided to quit smoking for his health, he is also going on a diet and decreasing his alcohol intake.

I did not say you have to stop smoking to date me. I supported him and cared about him regardless. He always kept clean clothes in his car (never smoked in there) to wear when he came over to my house out of respect for my non-smoking family. He chewed gum, brushes his teeth, etc. before kissing me.

Thank you, for being a kind person (even to us smokers, who are trying to quit). I have always believed it was more important to be kind then it is to be right, but it can get difficult at times.

 

[Feralpeg]

Yes I was thinking the same thing. I don't think there's anything wrong with not wanting to date a smoker or with being sensitive to the smell of smoke or not finding it pleasant to be around. I personally would much rather smell smoke than perfume or cologne and I can imagine a situation in which I could not date someone because the amount of cologne/perfume they liked to wear made smelling them unpleasant for me. It doesn't follow that wearing perfume/cologne is inherently disgusting or should be judged or compared to people who pull poop out of their butt in public.

I don't understand the "kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray" thing. That has never been my experience in kissing GF even just after she has a cigarette (nor was it my experience in kissing other people who smoked). I can't say I've noticed any difference at all in what it was like to kiss a person who smoked vs. a person who didn't. GF's teeth also are no more yellow than mine and I've never smoked a cigarette. And her fingernails aren't any different than mine either. (Yes her toenails need work but that's because she let's them grow to long and stabs me with them--I don't think that's a result of the smoking!) I feel like some of these things must have come from the TV PSAs against smoking or something because they aren't things that I've noticed in real life.

I am the one who said that kissing a smoker was very unpleasant. I guess I could have phrased it nicer. If I offended anyone, I'm sorry.

I grew up in a house of smokers. At that time, I never noticed that my house or parents smelled like smoke. Of course, I was around it all the time and was desensitized to the smell. Now, I am rarely around smokers. I know someone is a smoker as soon as they get within two feet of me due to the smell. Maybe I am just a person sensitive to smells, but it really bothers me.

I think it is great for those of you who don't notice the smell or that it does not bother. The fact that some of us would not want to date a smoker does not mean that we are looking down on people who smoke. It is just that the smell is so offensive to some of us that it would make any type of close relationship impossible.

 

[Kath2003]

Smokers choose to smoke.
It's hardly "hating" when non-smokers choose not to date a smoker.


If I were here saying, "I wouldn't date anyone with freckles" or "I wouldn't date a man with a speech impediment", then sure that's "hating" because they're not the choice of that person; they can't change that. Smokers make the decision to smoke - you can't call it "hating" when non-smokers make the decision that they don't want to date a smoker

 

[wvjules]

Choosing not to date someone for smoking isn't what bothers me. Its the awful adjectives and comparisons that are thrown out there about smokers.

The smoking would make intimate occasions icky.

kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray

Bad breath, smelly clothes/hair, yellow teeth...SEXY!

No way! I wouldn't even DATE one nevermind marry one-its repulsive!! The thought of kissing a smoker turns my stomach!

I felt like I was kissing an ashtray

I couldn't get that taste out of my mouth for 2 days!

Not only is the total stench, bad teeth, and film of gunk they leave a total and complete turn off

When he kissed me it was NASTY.

I also wouldn't date someone who picks their nose and eats it either or spends time digging in their rectum for dingleberries. What's the difference between those behaviors and smoking? They are all disgusting habits IMO and if all that blows smoke up your skirt, great. It doesn't for me.

I think a simple "No, I could not date a smoker." would anser the OP. No need for making smokers feel like they're lepers of society.

 

[DVC Sadie]

Choosing not to date someone for smoking isn't what bothers me. Its the awful adjectives and comparisons that are thrown out there about smokers.
I think a simple "No, I could not date a smoker." would anser the OP. No need for making smokers feel like they're lepers of society.

Ah, but don't you know that smokers ARE the lepers of society and a simple "yes or no" answer would never be able to convey the absolute disdain that some posters have of smokers.

 

[taylor1293]

Those adjectives were thrown out there because that is how some non-smokers feel about cigarette smoke. It doesn't mean they dislike smokers, it just means they find their action of smoking repulsive. And there is no such thing as a yes/no answer on any message board.

Choosing not to date someone for smoking isn't what bothers me. Its the awful adjectives and comparisons that are thrown out there about smokers.

I think a simple "No, I could not date a smoker." would anser the OP. No need for making smokers feel like they're lepers of society.

 

[taylor1293]

The question was would you date a smoker. People said yes or no and gave reasons. You may not like the reasons but the fact is, those of us who do not smoke and despise SMOKING (NOT the SMOKERS) find IT repulsive and smelly. Not the person, the cigarette smoke and the odor it leaves behind.

You may not think that kissing someone who smokes is gross, that doesn't mean it isn't gross, that just means it isn't gross to YOU. Some people think that kissing someone who has had a few beers is repulsive, My husband drinks beer, I don't find kissing my husband repulsive after he's been drinking. But I understand that some people can't stand the smell of alcohol and find kissing a drinker repulsive. That doesn't mean they despise all drinkers , it just means they should probably not date one

I really think some of you are taking this thread way to personally.

Ah, but don't you know that smokers ARE the lepers of society and a simple "yes or no" answer would never be able to convey the absolute disdain that some posters have of smokers.