No wedding thank you ~ WWYD?

[cabanafrau]

I'm in the same confused position re: a baby shower I couldn't attend back in August where I dropped off $$ in a card to my friend who is going to be a grandma. The expectant couple lives out of state now and I decided hauling so many gifts home was going to be a huge hassle for them so money would be simpler. I didn't write a check because I thought lots of out of state checks might be a hassle with the bank as well.

No way would the couple just not bother with thank yous. No way would my friend not hand over the card. Awkwardness isn't worth it to me so I remain wondering.

 

[DLgal]

Let it go. If you put it in the card box, they got it.

Thank you notes are a waste of resources. They need to stop being a thing. Maybe the bride and groom haven't gotten to them yet or maybe they aren't doing them. We didn't. We thanked each individual person for coming AT our wedding (it was a small destination wedding at WDW and we insisted on no gifts).

 

[Searc]

I would give it a couple more months. There is an old saying that you have a year after the wedding to send out thank you cards. With the holidays and everything, they may just be getting to sending them out now. I may something in a few months since it was cash and could have been stolen. It happened at my cousins wedding. Someone stole a bunch of envelopes.

My best friend had her entire card box stolen from her wedding. It was awful.

 

[NYCgrrl]

That's not accurate. Wedding guests have a year to give a gift but thank you notes are supposed to go out within three months or sooner if possible...this is according to Emily Post.

You are right!
I think pre-printed thank you cards are tactless though.

 

[Searc]

I would give it a couple more months. There is an old saying that you have a year after the wedding to send out thank you cards. With the holidays and everything, they may just be getting to sending them out now. I may something in a few months since it was cash and could have been stolen. It happened at my cousins wedding. Someone stole a bunch of envelopes.

There is no "take a year to send thank you's". If you aren't going to bother sending them out, tell people no gifts.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I don't send thank you cards. I say thank you in person at the event. This is what I've done at my baby shower, kids birthdays, etc.

I wouldn't think anything of it. I don't send a gift to receive a thank you card. I do it because I want to. I assume they got the gift and used it. No more is needed.

 

[Searc]

I don't send thank you cards. I say thank you in person at the event. This is what I've done at my baby shower, kids birthdays, etc.

I wouldn't think anything of it. I don't send a gift to receive a thank you card. I do it because I want to. I assume they got the gift and used it. No more is needed.

No comparison between a kids birthday party and a wedding. No, we were not thanked in person at the wedding for attending.

 

[cluvsdisney]

You are right!
I think pre-printed thank you cards are tactless though.

Personalized thank you cards don't have to take more than three months if it's important to the couple. We got ours done in about 4-5 weeks.

 

[mjkacmom]

I don't send thank you cards. I say thank you in person at the event. This is what I've done at my baby shower, kids birthdays, etc.

I wouldn't think anything of it. I don't send a gift to receive a thank you card. I do it because I want to. I assume they got the gift and used it. No more is needed.

You can thank people in person for gifts, with the exception of certain events like showers or weddings. Of course if you don’t open the gifts at birthday parties a thank you note should be sent.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

No comparison between a kids birthday party and a wedding. No, we were not thanked in person at the wedding for attending.

I had a city hall marriage and a small party after. I thanked everyone in person. Some people do thank you in person even for weddings.

 

[Christine]

Let it go. If you put it in the card box, they got it.

Thank you notes are a waste of resources. They need to stop being a thing. Maybe the bride and groom haven't gotten to them yet or maybe they aren't doing them. We didn't. We thanked each individual person for coming AT our wedding (it was a small destination wedding at WDW and we insisted on no gifts).

I guess the invites are a waste of resources also?

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I guess the invites are a waste of resources also?

For some people it is. I rarely get a real invite anymore. Evites and FB invites are the way to go. And I'm fine with it.

ETA: And I don't have FB. Either I get a screenshot of the FB invite texted to me or just a text letting me know of an event. I haven't received a wedding evite YET but I bet you I will one day. LOL

 

[DLgal]

I guess the invites are a waste of resources also?

Yep, totally. They get thrown away, just like thank you notes. Greeting cards are the same thing. The whole practice is wasteful, now that you can send things electronically.

I didn't even want to do wedding invites. I fought it hard. I had already personally invited everyone (we had 35 guests total, mostly family and a few close friends). I had a wedding website with all the info (ALL the way back in 2001). My mom insisted, though. They were cheesy as heck and a waste of money IMO, and I didn't even keep one.

I much prefer an electronic invite to every event. Much easier to RSVP, get the info, link to relevant websites like a registry or wish list, etc.

 

[barkley]

Personalized thank you cards don't have to take more than three months if it's important to the couple. We got ours done in about 4-5 weeks.

ours took less than 2 days b/c as rsvp's arrived for the wedding we would pre-address the thank you note envelopes figuring the odds were that if someone attended they would bring or send a gift. after the wedding we simply had to write the personal note in the card, stamp and mail (gifts sent by mail by those not attending were sent an immediate thank you note).

 

[Christine]

For some people it is. I rarely get a real invite anymore. Evites and FB invites are the way to go. And I'm fine with it.

ETA: And I don't have FB. Either I get a screenshot of the FB invite texted to me or just a text letting me know of an event. I haven't received a wedding evite YET but I bet you I will one day. LOL

But there's still an invite of some sort correct? Apparently inviting someone to something and taking the time to do that, is not a big deal. But finding some way to get a thank you/acknowledgement is an issue.

TBH, I was raised in a culture of always thanking someone or acknowledging a gift in some way. If you open a gift at a party and you look at the gift and thank them at the time, that's surely enough (although some people would take it a step further and also send a thank you in some way). However, I think it's really just a general best practice to thank people for a gift that was opened later or has the potential to misplaced and weddings are a big venue for that.

 

[Christine]

Yep, totally. They get thrown away, just like thank you notes. Greeting cards are the same thing. The whole practice is wasteful, now that you can send things electronically.

I didn't even want to do wedding invites. I fought it hard. I had already personally invited everyone (we had 35 guests total, mostly family and a few close friends). I had a wedding website with all the info (ALL the way back in 2001). My mom insisted, though. They were cheesy as heck and a waste of money IMO, and I didn't even keep one.

I much prefer an electronic invite to every event. Much easier to RSVP, get the info, link to relevant websites like a registry or wish list, etc.

I get it. But that doesn't rule out the electronic thank you, and barring that, a text or face to face. If you can invite, you can thank.

 

[NYCgrrl]

I had a city hall marriage and a small party after. I thanked everyone in person. Some people do thank you in person even for weddings.

My marriage (I never called it a wedding) was also at City Hall with 2 witnesses, my grandmother, who was mistaken for the bride (wellllllll ...she was dressed better than me ) and the man who became god parent to our youngest child. Received mostly cash presents from family since we were in the middle of buying a home and mostly verbal congratulations from friends.

All received thank you notes shortly after the ceremony to add to their personal souvenir boxes. Found the one written by my mother and am saving it for DGD for the time the geneaology bug bites her and I'm not around to guide her.

 

[DLgal]

I get it. But that doesn't rule out the electronic thank you, and barring that, a text or face to face. If you can invite, you can thank.

Well, I agree in theory, but if they sent out paper invites, they wouldn't have everyone's email address to send a digital thank you. At this point, you just have to write it off and assume there won't be a thank you note.

I send thank you texts nowadays, when I get a gift or my kids do, from a relative or friend. I'm a rebel, though. Never did subscribe to "Emily Post" style etiquette "rules"

 

[DLgal]

All received thank you notes shortly after the ceremony to add to their personal souvenir boxes. Found the one written by my mother and am saving it for DGD for the time the geneaology bug bites her and I'm not around to guide her.

What's a personal souvenir box? I've never heard this term. Curious.

 

[focusondisney]

My best friend had her entire card box stolen from her wedding. It was awful.

Well that is horrible & so sad. But I assume in the OP’s case, she probably would have heard something from the neighbor if something awful like that had happened.

When I put a card in the box, I believe it was recieved. Truely don’t care if I get a thank you or not. Just 1 more piece of paper to trash. I really don’t like the preprinted photo cards that are so popular now. No personalization at all. I really am not saving photo cards of someone else’s wedding or their kids so what a waste of money.

Off topic but I don’t even like the photo Christmas cards. Got one from a relative with a picture of the 2 of them (they are in their 60s) & their 2 kids who are in their 30s. I don’t get it