No Motivation Today

[becka]

I have NO motivation today and it is really starting to bug me. I didn't do well last night (we ordered pizza because DS was really sick and I didn't have time to cook) but I should not carry that over to today and I don't think I am. I have almost courted disaster at so many points today and even though I survived every challenge I still feel like I am failing and I keep "dreaming" about cheating.

On my way to DS's doctor's appointment I decided to go get an Apple Cinammon Raisin biscuit from Hardee's for breakfast (5 pts) but when I got there they were not on the menu. I looked and I almost order biscuits and gravy or a cinammon roll or a sausage biscuit, etc. I finally just left without ordering anything. Success? I guess so but it didn't feel very good. Then at lunch I went down to the cafeteria and the special of the day was a bacon ranch chicken sandwich (fried chicken breast with swiss cheese and bacon ranch dressing) with french fries or onion rings! Yum! I love that sandwich but I know it is so many points so I stood there for probably 5 minutes before deciding to get a grilled chicken salad instead. Success? I guess so but once again it didn't feel very good. Now I am sitting here dreaming about eating Oreo cookies bars, ordering Chinese for dinner tonight, etc. - really pigging out on so many good foods and I just can't stop thinking about it. I want to stop at DQ on the way home and get a big peanut butter cup blizzard and a REAL coke. Why am I doing this?

 

[nativetxn]

I survived every challenge

So, what exactly is it that you feel makes you a failure? Seriously, I'd like to know. Hmmmmm?

You're <b>not</b> a failure, Becka. You have a career, a home, a gorgeous baby boy and you are <b>successfully</b> losing weight and reaching your health goals.

I can tell you what is wrong, you ate too many refined carbohydrates last night. That's right, if you had just eaten the cheese etc off the pizza you wouldn't be wanting to cheat so much. Whenever you eat flour or sugar it makes your body want <i>more</i>. It's true, honest. That is why you are doing this.

Okay, go eat a small protein snack, it will help. A cube of cheese or a slice of lunchmeat, whatever. I know that WW and Atkins are two vastly different programs but the fact of the matter is that our bodies still react the same to refined carbohydrates. Eating a little or a lot, makes us want <i>more</i> refined carbohydrates. WW control their addiction--Atkins people sort of 12 step it...but the physical reaction to refined carbohydrates is the same in everyone.

So, what you are saying is that you feel guilty when you make a good decision? Or are you saying that you feel disappointed when you make a good decision? Are you confusing the feeling of disappointment you feel because you <i>really, really</i> wanted those biscuits or chicken sandwich or whatever and didn't eat them with a feeling of failure?

Becka, you are doing so well. It breaks my heart that you can't feel pride and <i>joy</i> in your strength, determination and motivation.

Okay, go find a mirror and stand in front of it. Now, repeat after me:

"I am an intelligent, nurturing, competent , strong woman and I am beautiful inside and out (especially my gorgeous red hair). I made a conscious decision to get smaller and I am working toward goal. I make wise decisions about the food I eat and I am proud of myself. I am a WISHer and I am a <b>success</b>!"

And don't you forget it either, Becka. <i>Never</i> forget one word of what you just said. Don't make me have to come over there.

 

[TigH]

Hmm, Becka, I wish I had a good answer for you!

Just want to send you some pixie dust to help you though this desire to eat more than the norm on the points scale today!

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Wow, you had some really HIGH IN THE SKY posts earlier this week, so I think that this is kind of something like going down the hill (after going up). Ride it out and do the best you can to avoid over eating. Tomorrow you will wake up feeling refreshed and happy that you stayed ON plan!

Instead of getting all that stuff at DQ, why not just plan ONE regular coke in today?

You made some very good decisions today, even though you aren't feeling triumphant about it right now. You are closing in on the next clippie, just keep hanging in there!!!

Look at you - you posted HERE instead of just giving in and ordering the fried chicken sandwich...

You also decided to NOT go off your plan at breakfast.

You chose the healthy (although admittedly not as scrumptious) lunch.

Those are all new habits, aren't they? It means you care about your wellbeing! You don't want to break this cycle of losing and feeling good!!! So even though you aren't jumping for joy, you need to recognize that you are really adpating to this new way of life and thinking!!!!!!!!!

Do you schedule any cheat meals? I hate to sound like a broken record, but I could not make it through the week without knowing I am going to have a "free" meal to eat what I want. Tomorrow DH and I are going out to celebrate our anniversary. It's helped me stay on plan all week (well, we did have a cheat night Tuesday this week, but that was proceeded by a week on plan!)

Feel better, Becka! You are worth it!!!!

 

[Bichon Barb]

How about dreaming of ordering Chinese food tonight and ordering it!? Just get white rice instead of fried. You could do beef and broccoli, or a spicy chicken dish, or shrimp. I think egg drop soup is really low in points, and egg rolls aren't too bad either. Just watch out for those dishes where they roll the meat in flour and then fry it. I think General Tso's chicken and orange beef are like that.

Sounds like you held back really well today and deserve a fun meal!

 

[Suzy Mouse]

By the looks of your clippie you have lost 15 pounds already! That is a tremendous accomplisment and probably one that didn't come very easily.

You ran into a few problems today and you overcame them. Then you came on here to reach out to others instead of keeping this to yourself and "cracking". Another huge accomplishment.

Make a tiny goal for today and take one minute at a time to try and reach it. Those baby steps help...and will take you to where you want and need to be!

 

[karebear1]

Becka- I understand completely where you are coming from. That's what I call my funky frame of mind. I find myself in it every 2 weeks or so! It's difficult to work through, but you can do it. You are making good choices with your foods and even though you're not excited about it and don't consider it a jump for joy, I did it accomplishment, it still remains an accomplishment!

Maybe all you need to do is set a new goal for yourself. Something physical that you can work on to take your mind off your food boredom. Maybe you should start planning your next trip to WDW. look at the menus for the restaurants there and plan out what you can eat to stick to your program. Include desserts and special treats too.

Kath- You need to right a book on how to stay motivated while dieting! You're good.

COME ON BECKA!!!! YOU CAN DO THIS GIRL!!

 

[Jiminy102]

I already answered your pm Becka!!!! I just want to add this. yesterday I wanted chinese food so I got won ton soup and a vegetable egg roll to the tune of 6 points then I was in starbucks and really wanted one of those yummy high point drinks so I got a Tazo Chi tea with Skim milk. I ordered a tall but got the venti which was the largest size and 5.5 points!!! But THat is so much better that the altenatives and I a happy with that!!! You can get through this I know you can!!!!

 

[Mskanga]

Becka, you walked away from the temptations and that alone already takes a lot of will power. Just think like Beanie said the other day....if you eat it, you will be wearing it around your thighs....that's a good way to keep me away from things!

 

[wovenwonder]

Just checking if it's going any better for you Becka? The weekend is upon us --- don't let it get you down. You've come so far! YOU CAN DO IT!

 

[Debbie]

Hi Becka! Just read your post about not feeling that good about making those good choices. I tried to pm you, but. . . .it's full.

I know what you mean about cravings, choices etc! When that happens to me, I allow myself a treat-a handful of what I want, not what I need. For me: a snack size chocolate bar, a DQ cone, a bag of popcorn (that's not a bad choice, but it IS a favourite). Don't get discouraged, hun. (((HUGS)))

 

[Beanie]

Becka, I hope that things are better for you tonight...You can do it, we all have faith in you!! Hugs!

 

[geetey]

Becka

I am sorry that you feel down about the wonderful choices you made today! Sending you hugs and pixie dust!!!

 

[Kimnicki]

{{{{HUGS}}}} for Becka.

Weight loss is such a tough road, but you have LOTS of us here to help you. I know exactly what you mean. I sorta had an up and down day. That feeling of...uugh..how will I make it through the day. I didn't do great, but I did a whole lot better than I would've before I found this board. Most importantly, don't deprive yourself, it'll make it that much harder and you'll want it that much more. Just like Debbie said, sometimes just a little treat now and then can make you feel better.

We're here for you Becka!!

 

[TigH]

Oh, BECKA....

It's Saturday! Hope you made it through Friday feeling better and that you are ready to face the day today!!!

Sending you loads of pixie dust to help you get your bounce back!!!

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Now you know, Tiggers are great at bouncing, and boucing up trees, but once we get up there, we kind of get scared. So I am looking around for you right now (from the safe ground) but if you don't appear soon, I am going to have to bounce up a tree! Yikes! Show up soon to save me from clinging on for dear life!

 

[becka]

Good Morning!

DH let me sleep in this morning because he knows just how exhausted I have been. I went to bed at 8 last night and finally woke up a little after 9 this morning but only because the alarm on DH's watch started going off. If that had not gone off I would probably still be sleeping!

DS was having a rough evening/night again with his illness. The poor little guy just doesn't understand why he feels so bad and boy was he cranky! Talk about stress!!! When he feels bad I can just feel every bone and muscle in my body tightening up. Not a good feeling.

Well I wish I could report better news on the weight loss front but I did give in to Chinese last night. DH knew I did feel good so he offered to go get some for me. I ate more than I should have but after all of that "dreaming" it just didn't taste all that great. Talk about more disappointment.

I am sure that in the long run I will be fine and I do so appreciate all of your wonderful support. Sometimes I feel silly posting this kind of thing but just getting it out in the open helps. I am going to try to do better today (hopefully all that sleep will help my motivation) but I have been so busy that I did not even really look at the calendar lately and I realized that I am approaching TOM so that could be part of the culprit.

DS is napping right now so I think I am going to go find me something to eat for breakfast.

I hope everyone has a great day and thanks once again for your support.

P.S. Thanks for telling me my PM box was full! That has never happened to me before.

 

[nativetxn]

Sometimes I feel silly posting this kind of thing

Becka, you should never feel silly about posting on WISH when you need help. That is truly what we are here for, that is part of the magic of WISH. Knowing that we can come here for help, support of comfort and find it, knowing that everyone on WISH knows how we feel and have had the same experiences before, that is what makes our support group work so well.

Don't worry about the chinese food. The bloat fairy probably paid you a visit last night but if TOM is soon, he was on his way to your house anyway.

You haven't done any permanent damage, don't worry.

I'm glad that you seem to feel a little better today. {{{HUGS}}} sweetie.