New to posting in this forum, but need prayers...

[lucky978]

As you can see I've been a member of the Dis for many many years. I've also been a listner to the podcasts as well. I always read of people asking for prayers and now I'm going to try it out for myself.

My grandmother, who just turned 90, has been admitted to the hospital. She has had a rough year, starting last August. She has conjestive heart failure, pulmnary hypertension and afib (??). She was in and out of hospitals/rehabs from 8/09 - 10/09, finally coming home on Halloween. At that time we were told she had around 6 mo. to live and they put her on hospice. Hospice has been wonderful with coming to help her get washed/showered/dressed and they also pay for all her meds. Given their limited income, this is a big help.

The last year has been rough for her. She lives with my mom, who has been unemployed for over a year now. My mom lost her house and they moved into a small apartment in June (after living with me for a few weeks). For the past several weeks my grandmother's leg/hip has been really bothering her. I was there last night and she seemed in so much pain and was having trouble walking.

This morning the phone rings at 4:30am (never good) and my mom tells me that my grandmother fell during the night and my mom convinced my gram to go to the ER for x-rays. After several hours (nothing is broken) and they want to send her home. However, SHE CAN'T WALK. I'm not sure how they can send her home without being able to walk. My mom certainly can't lift her to get her to/from the bathroom all the time.

We are thinking it's time to think about putting her in long-term care. Soooo hard because she keeps saying "I'm going home". The situation isn't fair for my mom (who basically is taking care of her 24/7. My mom and I love her very much and hate to see her unhappy. Hopefully my grandmother will understand and see that it is not safe for her to be home anymore. Plus..my mom really needs to find a full-time permanent job for financial reasons, as well as sanity.

So please pray for my grandmother...and my mom. Hoping that this situation goes as easy for them both as it can. My mom is full of guilt.

Thanks for listening.

Jacki

 

[stitchlover]

I will keep you in my thoughts over the next few weeks as your family faces this transition and decision.

My mother-in-law is currently facing this decision with her parents and a family I work closely with is going through this right now too. I realize how hard it is on everyone involved. Especially the elder who sometimes just don't want to admit they need a little more help.

I hope it all goes well for you.

 

[roomthreeseventeen]

Jacki,

We faced a similar issue with my mother-in-law last year. She ended up spending the last 8 months of her life in a long term care facility, and loved it there.

Praying for your family to make the right decision for you all.

 

[lugnut33]

I certainly hope for the best!!

You've been very lucky to have had your grandmother for such a long. Very fortunate. All 4 of mine were gone by the time I was 20.

 

[safetymom]

Prayers on the way for you and your family.

 

[simonkodousek]

So sorry to hear about this! We had to put my grandmother in long term care a few years before she passed away because of an inoperable cancerous tumor. It's not an easy thing to do, but in our situation, it was the best solution, especially for her. I hope everything works out with your grandmother and mom.

 

[DisneyKevin]

Prayers and good thoughts headed your way.

 

[ADP]

Thoughts and prayers your way Jackie. Keep us posted.

 

[figment3258]

prayers and hugs to you all

 

[mdvlprof]

Prayers and .

 

[Phoenixblue]

Yes, this is a hard choice to make. We had to do that with my grandma this Dec. She has had several strokes and other health issues, that make it so a family member just can't take care of her. She needs 24/7 care with a nurse, so we had no choice. We found a nice place, close to family and made sure to personalize her room and bring stuff she wanted in to decorate. Family visits and calls all the time. She has settled in and now likes being there.

One thing you may need to check on, does your mom have a power of attorney for your grandma, if she is the one who would make decisions if grandma wasn't able to? For medical and financial issues? This allows your mom to talk to drs and others (SSN, Medicare and such) when otherwise they couldn't talk to anyone but your grandma. My mom has this for my grandma and it has been a great help. The nursing home does quarterly meetings with my mom about grandmas care and calls her when any issue arises.

 

[kcb1dizbksfan]

I totally understand the problem and had been a personal caregiver for a very sick parent and working full time and then going to school at nite. During that three year period that I was handling all the aforementioned responsibilities, with no vacations (No WDW or any time-off for 3 years) was the most difficult in my life in many ways. We now have in-home care and I have my life back . . . somewhat.

I wish you and your family the insight and compassion to make the right decision for everyone impacted.

Dr. NYKCB

 

[ang]

my heart go out to your family.

 

[Disney Khi]

 

[tinkbutt]

Sending prayers to you and your family!!!!

 

[Dian-er]

So sorry to hear about your GRandmother. Is hospice still involved with your grandmother? If so, Mom should talk to them about whether they can ramp up theit services. My prayers are with you. Diana:
hug:

 

[WebmasterPete]

This is one of the toughest decisions a family has to make. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I know this has to be difficult for all of you - I couldn't imagine having to make that choice.

Pete

 

[*NikkiBell*]

My prayers and good thoughts are with you. I'm glad you came here for support.

 

[dixiegirl]

Prayers and good thoughts for you and your family.

 

[lucky978]

Thank you all so very much for your thoughts and prayers! I knew you guys would come through for me!

Things are status quo right now, my gram is still in the hospital at least until Monday. She still can't walk without severe pain. The plan right now is to send her somewhere for rehab and then possibly she will end up staying there long-term. We visited one place yesterday that was very nice, but about 25 minutes away from me and my mom. Not really an option since one of us would be visiting her every day. So we are still on the hunt. We shall see what case managers/social workers have to say when they come back tomorrow.

One thing you may need to check on, does your mom have a power of attorney for your grandma, if she is the one who would make decisions if grandma wasn't able to? For medical and financial issues? This allows your mom to talk to drs and others (SSN, Medicare and such) when otherwise they couldn't talk to anyone but your grandma. My mom has this for my grandma and it has been a great help. The nursing home does quarterly meetings with my mom about grandmas care and calls her when any issue arises.

Yes, my mom does have power of attorney for my grandmother. She did that last year when she was sick.

Thanks all! Will keep you posted!

Jacki