Dear guy-
Uhm, you know what?
I still care. As much as I say I don't, and act like I don't, I DO.
I miss the way things were before that weekend. I miss hanging out with you and just talking and joking around. I miss knocking your hat off in art, and you poking me, and pulling my hair. I MISS YOU. I wish none of it had happened, and I wish you hadn't been stupid about it. Why did you have to let ONE NIGHT when neither of us were thinking straight ruin our friendship? And then to lie, and make all those stupid guy friends of yours think I'm just some stupid liar looking for attention?
Thanks, thanks a lot. They used to be my friends too, but thanks to you, not anymore. I can't believe you would do this to me. I get that it's been a few weeks, and I'm trying to act like, whatever I don't care. But, I can't just keep pretending like it doesn't bother me. Because it does. And it hurts. A lot. We were so close. And then you just HAD to be stupid that night. And I had to be stupid enough to go along with it. BECAUSE I LIKED YOU. As a whole lot more then a friend. And I thought something might actually have happened. But, I guess I was wrong. You are such a player,and I should have known better. All my friends warned me. I watched what you did to other girls. How much you hurt them. But that didn't sop me. And it should have. I was stupid, and in the moment, and I completely regret it now, because you are a liar. You say nothing happened, when it DID. I wouldn't, couldn't make anything like that up. How could you lie like that? Swear to God on your best friends grave? THat's just disgusting.
And even through all of that, I miss you. I want to be friends again, and I want it all to just go away. I hate not having you as a friend, and over something so stupid. Yes, it meant something to me. Of course it did. I liked you, and unfortunatly, I still do. But, I am willing to put that aside just to be friends again. I cannot believe that even through all the hell you have put me through, and you still not talking to me, that I would still/could still like you. But I do. It made me SO happy when guyN said he hated you and would beat you up for me. Becasue a part of me wants that so bad. For you to just get what you deserve. But, another part of me can't handle that, when you still, unfortunatly, mean so much to me. I wish you didn't. I don't want you to mean a lot to me, but I can't help it.
Jessica.