Nervous flyers - children

[AnitaCB]

Another question! My DD will be 8 when we go to Florida and is getting quite concerned about the flight. She is fairly nervy anyway and is saying that she is scared and doesn't want to go. Does anyone have any tips, that you may have used for your own kids, on how to calm nerves and reassure her before we go? Any information about the plane/flight that I can tell her would help. She's only been on a 737 before and we're flying with Virgin. She is really excited about going to Disney and I don't want this to spoil the build up for her. Thank you very much.

 

[Cochise]

I would like to ask something here if i can.

Why is a child of 8 scared of flying? Is it something they have decided after a bad flight? or have they flown with a family member who is very nervous on a flight and they have picked this up?

It is just unusual for an 8 year old to have these feelings without any sort of outside influence. I would suspect it is a careless thought and with some occupying of the mind following take off this wont cause any issues.

Anything you want to talk to them about the flight or plane on what it does when i would be glad to help, just pm me.

 

[alisonbestford]

My DD (7) is also a nervous child at times

I think that, around this age, children generally become more aware of things that can occur in life

Eve expressed concerns over flying after her friend (also 7) told her how many planes crashed..........!
She also became worried about her dad going to the pub, after someone got shot, and also about playing outside after she'd read about a child being approached after school ....
We managed to reassure her easily enough by being honest and generally not dismissing her fears as 'silly'
Dragged some simple statistics into the equation too, along the way

Every child is different and will have different concerns.
DD didn't murmur about the flight when we flew to Florida in March but she did have concerns about hurricanes, typhoons and whether the pavements were 'crazed' as a result of previous earthquakes........
Had to, also, drag a few locals into the conversation at this point to make her realise we weren't making things up......

In the end I think it was me that ended up worrying more than she did but we had a great time and none of her worries spoiled her holiday

 

[jockey]

Why not take her to the airport a few times just to watch the aircraft. Speak with Virgin also and explain that she is afraid and they may allow you to board early, they also offer a shopping service so you could arrange a gift for her to be given as soon as she boards. Also speak to your GP as to what you can do to help her relax - there are quite a few herbel remedies on the market, i think these are mainly for adults and don't know of they are advisable for children.

 

[JohnnySharp2]

Virgin are a very good Airline and she will be in very safe hands.

Does she like movies or any particular TV programmes/shows, whilst the seat back entertainment on VA is very good, we have a portable DVD player that we take for Joshua so that he can watch his favourites on the plane.

It may be worth considering as we would be lost without it, maybe it would help her to relax.

 

[SammieG]

our son is not a nervous flyer however we always give him a brand new game boy game as he gets on the plane..
this literally keeps him occupied throughout the entire flight! I am sure that when your daughter sees how much entertainment there is on board that she will be fine.

Also, I do believe that the longer flights are somehow easier to deal with than the short ones..

 

[disneyholic family]

before a long flight, i always took the kids to the toy store to pick out some special toys to play with on the flight....this seemed to help them to look forward to the long flight that we were about to endure.....
obviously they had to be small enough to carry and suited to playing in a confined space..

in addition, i always brought several small surprises along as well (like the pealable nail polish made for little girls, various kinds of card games, puzzle books, coloring books, crayons, etc. etc. etc)..

i had a bag full of stuff for them to do, plus a bag full of snacks....

this for the most part kept them occupied during the 12 hour flights...

 

[scojos]

i have just been on themouseforless website and they have some really cool disney downloads for the kids, wordsearches diaries etc, maybe something themed might keep her mind occupied?
is it because she doesn t like the pressure build up in her ears? thats why my 8 yr old is nervous, take chewy sweet or gum, hope this helps
tracy

 

[Hobbes]

If you do want to give her something to help her relax, I can heartily recommend Bachs Rescue Remedy-Boots and other good chemists (And some bad ones ) or Holland and barrats sell it. Comes in a little dropper bottle-either a couple of drops on the tongue, or mixed in some water (it tastes a little alcoholic so probably the latter for a child) Its the only thing that keeps me flying.And before anyone says "It doesn't really calm you, its all in your mind" I know, but thats where the fear of flying is too...

 

[alisonbestford]

If you do want to give her something to help her relax, I can heartily recommend Bachs Rescue Remedy-Boots

Another Bach's Remedy I was recommended for DD, when she was frightened of the dentist, is 'Mimulus'.
She just had a drop or two of it mixed into a drink

 

[smileyk8]

I would like to ask something here if i can.

Why is a child of 8 scared of flying? Is it something they have decided after a bad flight? or have they flown with a family member who is very nervous on a flight and they have picked this up?

It is just unusual for an 8 year old to have these feelings without any sort of outside influence. I would suspect it is a careless thought and with some occupying of the mind following take off this wont cause any issues.

Anything you want to talk to them about the flight or plane on what it does when i would be glad to help, just pm me.

Can i just ask, are u a pilot or something?

I developed a fear of flying for no particular reason, in that i can't put my finger on an event. The experience of an 'air lock' i think the pilot called it wasn't the best but i used to be ok. A few members of my family can fly and just dismiss me as being silly, but when i fly with my parents for every single noise or bounce they say something like 'oh look somethings fallen off' or 'did u know this is the most dangerous part of the flight'. Just in case u didn't realise and thought banter was the way forward- it really isn't . I know i should've grown out of it (i'm 20)!

Best of luck with ur daughter, stay calm on the flight and i agree with spending time in an airport. I always said they should report how many planes land successfully each day on the news, not just the odd crashes

 

[Cochise]

No not at all.

Just someone who had a huge fear of flying but went out and learned everything on how an aircraft works and how they fly. Then fear to me never came back, simple as that.

Every child in our family hardly notices we are on a plane until i bore the ..... out of them telling them what is happening

Possibly the pilot referred to something known as Clear Air Turbulance in which an aircraft can lose height quick and suddenly. The thing is with turbulance is that the aircraft rises just as many times as it falls but you notice thr drop much more easily.

 

[mattnkatsmum]

I hate flying too, but my 13 year old hates it even more. Since 9/11 he is paranoid about the plane being blown up, especially with transatlantic flights (not helped by the fact that a flight we booked to Washington was cancelled due to a terrorist alert). He cannot relax on a flight at all, as he is constantly watching everyone for suspicious behaviour.

If any of you psychologists (amateur or otherwise) have any suggestions as to how to deal with this, I would be grateful.

 

[disneyholic family]

No not at all.

Just someone who had a huge fear of flying but went out and learned everything on how an aircraft works and how they fly. Then fear to me never came back, simple as that.

Every child in our family hardly notices we are on a plane until i bore the ..... out of them telling them what is happening

Possibly the pilot referred to something known as Clear Air Turbulance in which an aircraft can lose height quick and suddenly. The thing is with turbulance is that the aircraft rises just as many times as it falls but you notice thr drop much more easily.

my kids began flying from embryo on.....we fly multiple times every year, most of the flights 12 hours non-stop.....

despite practically being born on an airplane, my son suddenly on one flight looked out the window and asked if we can "fall down"....
i don't remember how old he was....he was much younger than 7 years old, but i can't remember exactly how old....probably about 3 or 4...
but it was interesting that he said that without any relation to anything we said or didn't say.....

it's hard to know how a kid's mind works...

by the way, my answer to his question was "no" (which of course is a lie, but truth isn't appropriate at times like that)...

that seemed to satisfy him....
he's never been afraid of flying.....

on the other hand, despite all of our flying (on all sorts of airplanes, small and large) my daughter is VERY afraid of flying....yet somehow deals with it and continues to fly...

 

[smileyk8]

I hate flying too, but my 13 year old hates it even more. Since 9/11 he is paranoid about the plane being blown up, especially with transatlantic flights (not helped by the fact that a flight we booked to Washington was cancelled due to a terrorist alert). He cannot relax on a flight at all, as he is constantly watching everyone for suspicious behaviour.

If any of you psychologists (amateur or otherwise) have any suggestions as to how to deal with this, I would be grateful.

I know this is bizarre coming from me after i've just told u how much i hate flying , but a few things i picked up at uni (psychology) over the past 3 yrs:
1. relaxation works well in adults, this is a bit more tricky for kids tho and forcing them to sit quietly may encouage them to think about the flight. Before you even flight it can help to imagine the steps in your journey eg check in, departure area, getting in the plane... and staying calm and relaxed. I think the trick is to do one step more each time;

2. going to an airport and seeing planes taking off and landing over and over again, exposure like this is meant to reassure you that there isn't anything to be afraid of and that you disrupt the link between planes and crashes in your mind;

3. try to keep everyone in your party calm, travelling is one of the most stressful times for some ppl (especially my dad) and this could potentially be linked by your child to travelling so that journeys cause stress and heighten their senses to the experience.

This probably isn't that helpful (i know it's pretty basic). Best of luck x

 

[AnitaCB]

I would like to ask something here if i can.

Why is a child of 8 scared of flying? Is it something they have decided after a bad flight? or have they flown with a family member who is very nervous on a flight and they have picked this up?

It is just unusual for an 8 year old to have these feelings without any sort of outside influence. I would suspect it is a careless thought and with some occupying of the mind following take off this wont cause any issues.

Anything you want to talk to them about the flight or plane on what it does when i would be glad to help, just pm me.

Hi - thanks for the replies.

I don't know why she is scared of flying - however it is not unusual at all for an 8 year old to have feelings of fear, i.e. a parent dying, flying, cars revving nearby, being stung by a bee! Some children are just made that way - I work at a playgroup and see it all the time.

Anyway I've reassured her that the plane can fly on 2 engines (hope that's right!!) and we will be visiting the airport before hand as suggested. I am also going to take her and her sister to the Bear Factory before we go to make a small bear each to take as a cuddle buddy for the flight. They seemed to like that idea - probably because it involves me spending money again!! We're staying at the Hilton the night before so will probably have a wander round the terminal which might help.

Thanks again.

 

[disneyholic family]

Anyway I've reassured her that the plane can fly on 2 engines (hope that's right!!) and we will be visiting the airport before hand as suggested. I am also going to take her and her sister to the Bear Factory before we go to make a small bear each to take as a cuddle buddy for the flight. They seemed to like that idea - probably because it involves me spending money again!! We're staying at the Hilton the night before so will probably have a wander round the terminal which might help.

Thanks again.

if you're referring to a 747, a 4 engine plane, it can actually fly on 1 engine in a pinch...(and can even glide for a significant distance on no engines at all, as the pilots re-start the engines - but don't tell her that.....the thought of all the engines going out will scare her half to death)....

if you're talking about the various 2 engine planes (like the 777) they can also fly on 1 engine....