Needing information about Edge on Wonder

[AddieLaRue]

Hi,

We are cruising for the first time in a few weeks and have a child with severe behavioural issues. She is a perfectly well behaved at school and around others, so no issue being in the programs onboard (it's referred to as masking by her psychologists), but is unbearable to be around a lot of the time for us. Things have gotten so bad that we are considering leaving her with family while we take our other children on the cruise, so that she won't ruin it for them.

Before we make the decision to leave her behind, I am wondering what the maximum care we can get for her at Edge is. Can she stay in there all day, or do we need to bring her out for meals? Can she stay while we go to the shows at night?

Sounds awful, I know, but maximising the amount of time she is in Edge might be the only way for us to include her in the trip.

I appreciate any advice!

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Hi,

We are cruising for the first time in a few weeks and have a child with severe behavioural issues. She is a perfectly well behaved at school and around others, so no issue being in the programs onboard (it's referred to as masking by her psychologists), but is unbearable to be around a lot of the time for us. Things have gotten so bad that we are considering leaving her with family while we take our other children on the cruise, so that she won't ruin it for them.

Before we make the decision to leave her behind, I am wondering what the maximum care we can get for her at Edge is. Can she stay in there all day, or do we need to bring her out for meals? Can she stay while we go to the shows at night?

Sounds awful, I know, but maximising the amount of time she is in Edge might be the only way for us to include her in the trip.

I appreciate any advice!

If she becomes uncontrollable while in Edge, you would be contacted to come get her. But, inn fact, she can walk out of Edge at any time, if she wants to. The CM to child ratio is not particularly favorable for having a dedicated CM to keep an eye on her, and I, personally wouldn't expect them to have to do it.

 

[AddieLaRue]

If she becomes uncontrollable while in Edge, you would be contacted to come get her. But, inn fact, she can walk out of Edge at any time, if she wants to. The CM to child ratio is not particularly favorable for having a dedicated CM to keep an eye on her, and I, personally wouldn't expect them to have to do it.

She will never become uncontrollable. She attends school without issue.

 

[o&smom]

She would be able to stay in Edge almost all day. DD did just that on our cruise in February. They open with open house hours, initially, and then started activities fairly close to noon if I am remembering correctly. I think they close between 11 and 12. It is a fairly small space if that would work for your daughter, and as posted earlier, kids in Edge can leave and come back when they want to. Sorry you are all dealing with this. Hope this helps.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

She will never become uncontrollable. She attends school without issue.

Unfortunately, Edge is not like school. The kids there are really pretty much on their own to keep themselves amused.

 

[AddieLaRue]

Unfortunately, Edge is not like school. The kids there are really pretty much on their own to keep themselves amused.

That's good to know, thank you. I think I presumed it was like a holiday program.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

That's good to know, thank you. I think I presumed it was like a holiday program.

They do have some activities in there, but it's up to the kids whether they want to participate or not. They're not told to "go do (whatever)" at XX time.

 

[AddieLaRue]

She would be able to stay in Edge almost all day. DD did just that on our cruise in February. They open with open house hours, initially, and then started activities fairly close to noon if I am remembering correctly. I think they close between 11 and 12. It is a fairly small space if that would work for your daughter, and as posted earlier, kids in Edge can leave and come back when they want to. Sorry you are all dealing with this. Hope this helps.

Thank you. It's such a hard situation. I really don't want to leave her as that feels awful. She's got special needs, so she can't really help it, but it's our first cruise, and I want our other children (we have four) to be able to enjoy themselves. We have just had to come home early from an out of town trip because of the difficult behaviour, and of course that won't be an option on a cruise.

So....trying to make a decision before we have to make final payment for this.

 

[o&smom]

Thank you. It's such a hard situation. I really don't want to leave her as that feels awful. She's got special needs, so she can't really help it, but it's our first cruise, and I want our other children (we have four) to be able to enjoy themselves. We have just had to come home early from an out of town trip because of the difficult behaviour, and of course that won't be an option on a cruise.

So....trying to make a decision before we have to make final payment for this.

Best of luck with the tough decision. There are plenty of ways for her to eat without having to sit at dinner for over an hour. Food by the pool deck or room service would be options so she can get a break.

 

[lanejudy]

what the maximum care we can get for her at Edge is. Can she stay in there all day, or do we need to bring her out for meals? Can she stay while we go to the shows at night?

Just to clarify... there is no "maximum care" to arrange for her at Edge (or any of the kids clubs) - rather it is loosely supervised social gathering and activities. The kids can come and go from Edge as they choose, participating in group activities or not. Also be aware many Edge activities may be "out and about" around the ship without direct supervision. If she falls into the overlap age of 11 or 12, you can have her attend the Oceaneers Club/Lab without check-out privileges.

None of the kids clubs provide meals at this time, and they can stay as long or short a time as they choose during open hours which are generally something like 9am to midnight (give or take). Be aware there is an "open house" scheduled at each kids location at least once per day; if checked in for secure programming at the Club/Lab the kids are shifted to the opposite space, but Edge and Vibe would remain open for anyone to go in/out. Behavioral problems will result in a call to the parents and possibly a ban from the space/programming.

 

[lanejudy]

I've been thinking about this some more...

How social is she? Will she make friends that she wants to hang out with? Edge is very social -- the kids tend to find their "clique" (or group of friends) by the first night and that sticks for the duration. If she struggles with social situations or making friends, she may not want to spend much time at Edge and there is no mechanism to enforce that she stay (or even go). It's not like childcare where you drop them off in the morning and return at the end of the day.

Does she have any sort of 1:1 or a respite care provider? It would cost more but maybe that person could come along to help her at times the rest of the family wants to do something together.

 

[NileNellie]

I agree with the other posters-she could stay in Edge all day, but there's honestly not much supervision from the cast members. There's much more supervision in the Oceaneer club, but I"m not sure of her age.

Sounds like a tough decision for sure.

Also I love your screen name-one of my favorite books.

 

[otten]

Hi,

We are cruising for the first time in a few weeks and have a child with severe behavioural issues. She is a perfectly well behaved at school and around others, so no issue being in the programs onboard (it's referred to as masking by her psychologists), but is unbearable to be around a lot of the time for us. Things have gotten so bad that we are considering leaving her with family while we take our other children on the cruise, so that she won't ruin it for them.

Before we make the decision to leave her behind, I am wondering what the maximum care we can get for her at Edge is. Can she stay in there all day, or do we need to bring her out for meals? Can she stay while we go to the shows at night?

Sounds awful, I know, but maximising the amount of time she is in Edge might be the only way for us to include her in the trip.

I appreciate any advice!

You can’t ‘keep’ her in Edge. Kids in Edge can come and go as they please. It’s really important to understand that Edge is not just Oceaneers for tweens. It’s more of a hang out space with some counsellors to lead some activities as opposed to the much more supervised Oceaneers. And it isn’t a parent sign in and out space either.

 

[AddieLaRue]

I've been thinking about this some more...

How social is she? Will she make friends that she wants to hang out with? Edge is very social -- the kids tend to find their "clique" (or group of friends) by the first night and that sticks for the duration. If she struggles with social situations or making friends, she may not want to spend much time at Edge and there is no mechanism to enforce that she stay (or even go). It's not like childcare where you drop them off in the morning and return at the end of the day.

Does she have any sort of 1:1 or a respite care provider? It would cost more but maybe that person could come along to help her at times the rest of the family wants to do something together.

She has friends at school. Basically she behaves really well at school - never even had a phone call from them. Her reports come back really well in terms of social skills. But, when she gets home, she yells, throws stuff, and can get really nasty.

We don't have any respite - just grandma who doesn't like cruises.

 

[AddieLaRue]

I agree with the other posters-she could stay in Edge all day, but there's honestly not much supervision from the cast members. There's much more supervision in the Oceaneer club, but I"m not sure of her age.

Sounds like a tough decision for sure.

Also I love your screen name-one of my favorite books.

It's a favourite for me too

I wish she could go into the younger care brackets, but she will be 13 at the time of cruising.

 

[RedHead0186]

Also I love your screen name-one of my favorite books.

I'm not the OP, but that's one of my favorite books too!

 

[OpieDoodle]

First, I want to say my post is coming from a very supportive place. I completely understand how out of hands things can get.

Biggest thing I want to bring up based on your OP, Edge is not a summer camp essentially, probably not the best way to put it but its really like a preteen hang out space with loose supervision. Kids can check themselves in or out so if you don't trust her to be running around the ship without supervision it may not be the best option.

Have you talked to her about this? Edge is for kids 11-14 so its not like we are talking a really young child. Does she even want to go? If she does could she be motivated to behave a little differently to make the trip enjoyable for all?

Maybe another option is trying the talking with her approach and go somewhere a little less financially demanding that way its like a "trial run" trip to see if you all could make it work before being stuck on a cruise ship. All families are different but for me I'd try to jump through any hoops possible to be able to bring her and still have a good trip. Maybe that looks like postponing a cruise for a year and going to Great Wolf Lodge or something so if things get negative you can easily leave whenever you'd like to.

Have you talked at all with her psychologist? Another thing to consider is what affect could leaving her behind (or taking her and it ending up a negative experience) would have on her mental health in the long term and would it make the issues you are currently having worst?

In this situation there is no easy answer and I wish you the best in navigating this!

 

[AddieLaRue]

First, I want to say my post is coming from a very supportive place. I completely understand how out of hands things can get.

Biggest thing I want to bring up based on your OP, Edge is not a summer camp essentially, probably not the best way to put it but its really like a preteen hang out space with loose supervision. Kids can check themselves in or out so if you don't trust her to be running around the ship without supervision it may not be the best option.

Have you talked to her about this? Edge is for kids 11-14 so its not like we are talking a really young child. Does she even want to go? If she does could she be motivated to behave a little differently to make the trip enjoyable for all?

Maybe another option is trying the talking with her approach and go somewhere a little less financially demanding that way its like a "trial run" trip to see if you all could make it work before being stuck on a cruise ship. All families are different but for me I'd try to jump through any hoops possible to be able to bring her and still have a good trip. Maybe that looks like postponing a cruise for a year and going to Great Wolf Lodge or something so if things get negative you can easily leave whenever you'd like to.

Have you talked at all with her psychologist? Another thing to consider is what affect could leaving her behind (or taking her and it ending up a negative experience) would have on her mental health in the long term and would it make the issues you are currently having worst?

In this situation there is no easy answer and I wish you the best in navigating this!

Thank you.

Yes, I think i misunderstood these programs as more of a Summer camp situation, rather than just rooms they can go in and out of. That doesn't leave us with a ton of options.

Thank you for the suggestions!

 

[lanejudy]

If she behaves in public (I'm not sure if it's just private time with family or any time with family), and she is social enough to connect with a couple of friends -- it's highly possible she would choose to spend most of her time either at Edge or doing their activities. That's a tough call, though, because there's no guarantee she'll make a good connection like that. Though if she's motivated to avoid family, that might be enough to keep her busy with other activities.

I also strongly recommend looking into services available to your family. It is exhausting to parent a child with mental health needs and you need to take care of yourself (and the rest of the family) as well. Good luck!

 

[AddieLaRue]

If she behaves in public (I'm not sure if it's just private time with family or any time with family), and she is social enough to connect with a couple of friends -- it's highly possible she would choose to spend most of her time either at Edge or doing their activities. That's a tough call, though, because there's no guarantee she'll make a good connection like that. Though if she's motivated to avoid family, that might be enough to keep her busy with other activities.

I also strongly recommend looking into services available to your family. It is exhausting to parent a child with mental health needs and you need to take care of yourself (and the rest of the family) as well. Good luck!

Thank you so much for your thoughts x