Need your opinions, please .....

[EdiePA]

My Ex and I were just divorced in May. He wanted it, I didn't. He was having an affair -- this has just been so hard.

DS#1 was married last month -- we were both at the wedding, on our best behavior, but it wasn't easy. I did have one meltdown and had to tell him to stop putting his arm around me.

Now, DS#1 and his wife will be in our hometown the end of this month. I want to have a picnic at the house (what used to be our house) to welcome my new daughter-in-love to the family. Nothing fancy, just an open house for friends who couldn't make it to Michigan for their wedding.

Okay, do I have to invite my EX? He lives in the same town. I am really not happy thinking about having him back in the house, but I want to do what's right.

What do you think??

TIA
Edie

 

[Pooh67_68]

No, if you son wants to see his dad he can do it after the picnic.

 

[chell]

I don't think you have to invite him. If he wants to do something for them he can.

 

[grinningghost]

You sure don't. My DH has been divorced from his ex for years now and they don't socialize at all. Their son is 19 years old and understands that there's alot less tension when they keep apart from each other.

We all know that someday my stepson may get married, and we'll have to come together for the wedding, and we'll all manage because it's a big event - but for small gatherings - no way.

 

[meeshi]

I agree with the other posters.

 

[meandtheguys2]

If they can see each other at some other point, my vote is "NO!" It seem way too new to have to be too friendly! It took my mom years! She never, by the way, ragged on him in front of us. She just wasn't able to let down her guard that quickly. Best of bests for you. It sounds like you have an awesome heart and your DS is blessed to have you!

Michelle

 

[Dan Murphy]

Originally posted by EdiePA
.....I am really not happy thinking about having him back in the house....

Your answer is right there, Edie. 's

 

[Disney Doll]

I would say it's not necessary. Just explain to your DS that it's a difficult time with things being so recent and you'd rather not have his father over.

 

[Pop Daddy]

just have an empty chair there, and tell evryone you dont know where he is, you invited him

 

[Aimeedyan]

Why would you feel like you need to invite him? Your children will slowly get used to visiting their parents seperately now. My parents divorced after 28 years marriage, he wanted it, mom didn't, and they never have things together... when we want to see them, we do things seperately. Mom often has to remind herself that she doesn't have to worry about him anymore... she's just so used to that. Its hard to break.

It will make everyone uncomfortable, too. Just throw a party and don't worry about whether or not htey will get to see him. They're adults... they can figure it out =)

 

[4greatboys]

No you dont have to have him over. Its your party invite who you want. I dont think anyone would think badly of you for not inviting him.