Need to vent about doctors and the reliance on "risk factors"

[bananiem]

I'm not thinking clearly but I have to rant. Another friend has been diagnosed with breast cancer. She's in her early 30's and they've been watching this "spot" for a year and a half because she doesn't have any "risk factors", like heredity. I lost one friend 5 years ago, about the same age because the pain in her armpit "couldn't be cancer, cancer doesn't hurt." Wanna bet? Tell that to her husband and kids now that she's gone.
Of the people I've known that have had breast cancer, not ONE of them had a family history of it! The next time I'm told "Let's just watch it to see what happens" I'm going to say NO! Take it out now!! In my opinion we all need to do this.
We live in a small town and her gynecologist is the same one I go to. She's also my neighbor and friend. I'm afraid I'm losing faith in some parts of the medical field. My dh works for a large hospital and I'm hearing way too many cases of "Oops! Guess we didn't catch that the first time."
I'm sorry. I had to get this off my chest.

 

[nativetxn]

I know how you are feeling. I agree with you, I would refuse to "watch" any kind of mass, especially a mass in my breast or under my arm. I would insist on having it removed.

I've never understood why a doctor would want to "watch" a breast mass, anyway. To watch it grow? Because if it <i>is</i> malignant the doctor is just giving it a better chance to spread out.

{{{HUGS}}} my friend. You sound so upset. I wish I could make you feel better.

You aren't ranting you are asking for comfort from your friends on the cb. That's what we are here for so never hesitate to come here and share your fears, sadness, anger or joy.

Katholyn

 

[Christine]

I certainly understand your frustration. While I did not have breast cancer, I had thyroid cancer about 8 years ago (I was 31). Many of the doctors I came across would have been very happy to take the "wait and see" attitude since I was "too" young for cancer, but I would have none of it. I pushed and pushed and within 3 weeks of finding a lump in my thyroid, I had it removed. You don't know how many people I run into in various support groups whose doctors are VERY slow in running with things. But, on the other hand, most of the lumps doctors come into contact with are benign and I guess they have seen enough of that so they aren't as uptight as we are. But if you're the cancer patient, it often feels like no one is taking it seriously enough.

I do think that in today's medical environment, the doctors are way to rushed and way too unattached to their patients. But, patients also have to take some of the blame. So many people are conent to put their lives and trust in a physician and you just cannot do that anymore. It is true more now than ever that you must be your own advocate. Do not sit back and let anyone guide your health, you have to take charge yourself. Many (I would say most) people do not want to do this.

 

[4greatboys]

I can not believe any doctor would want to wait and see about anything that could be cancer. Waiting turns out to be a death sentence for a lot of people. I watched my mom as she struggled to fight cancer. Her doctors didnt wait they started treatment right away but if they had waited to see it would have been even worse than it was. If I or my dr ever find anything that could be cancer there will be no waiting involved.

 

[bananiem]

Thanks for the responses. It's nice to be able to vent and have others vent with me.
I've heard from my friend and the lymph nodes look good. I'm very grateful for that. But I was really hoping I wouldn't have to watch another friend go through this. Well, looks like I'm on that road again but with hopefully a better outcome.
Thanks again.
ann

 

[helenabear]

Ann, there isn't much else I can say that others have not. I just can't believe a doctor would let something like that go, especially for so long. I wish your friend all the best!

 

[Piper]

I agree--you shouldn't wait---my doctor found a "suspicious" area on a mamogram and wanted to wait. I said no way and so he sent me to a surgeon who specialized in breast cancer surgery--he agreed with me--said the lump didn't look good to him--so I had a lumpectomy (or chunkectomy as I call it)----he removed a triangular section--making sure to get a large area around the lump--and it was cancer. After chemo and radiation (and 1 more surgery), I am fine.....and going to WDW in a few weeks all by myself--to celebrate--just because I can!

I understand how you feel about your friend--one of my friends waited and her funeral was last month. She was the reason I didn't wait.

 

[Kitty 34]

I always wonder what the true benefit is of "waiting" out something anyway!!! Sorry to hear about your friend and sure hope she gets something done SOON. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

 

[C.Ann]

I'm sure that most of you already know this, but just so I don't confuse anyone with my story about a dear friend, I'll explain it anyhow.. If someone has ovarian cancer (for an example) and their ovaries are removed, if any of those cells escape and show up elsewhere later on down the road, it's still referred to as "ovarian cancer" - (even though the ovaries are long since gone) and even if it's in the brain, lungs, whatever.. It's not classified as "brain" cancer - or "lung" cancer - but rather "ovarian cancer of the brain/lung" whatever.. Okay - now for my friends story.. A sad one indeed..

Several years ago she was diagnosed with uterine cancer.. The doctors did a total hysterectomy and being "certain" that it hadn't spread yet, ordered no further treatment.. The year before last they found a "mass" in her abdominal area and tests revealed that it was uterine cancer again.. This time they ordered the whole 9 yards - surgery, radiation, horribly debilitating chemo - BUT - at least she was going to be okay.. Wrong.. Two months ago her check-up revealed a mass in her stomach.. Uterine cancer again.. They performed surgery to remove the mass and have recommended chemo again (which she started last week) but they have basically told her and her family that there will be no "cure" this time..

She and her DH both just took an early retirement last summer, moved into a brand new home that they had custom built, and were planning on doing extensive traveling - as well as enjoying their 2 very young grandchildren..

Could all of this been avoided if the doctors hadn't been so adamant that they "got it all" and had followed up with chemo the first time around? Guess we'll never know - but she and her family are paying the ultimate price for something that might have been avoided..

 

[Dan Murphy]

That is really a shame, bananiem. So sorry to hear that. She will be in my prayers, so many for so many folks who are ill.

Just an FYI, when Marie had her breast cancer five years ago, her oncologist, along with Marie's reading, indicated that family history has little facoring in breast cancer. For others, like colon, VERY high, but not breast. And so many people feel, and dangerously so, that if it is not in their family that they have little risk. WRONG. And same with age. Our friend Sylvia, now gone almost two years, was not yet 40. And several DIS'ers here, in remission and still fighting, are in there 30's, some early 30's. So the over 40 and family history mean little. As said, take control of your own lives.

Hugs, bananiem

Dan

 

[Piper]

Originally posted by Dan Murphy


Just an FYI, when Marie had her breast cancer five years ago, her oncologist, along with Marie's reading, indicated that family history has little facoring in breast cancer. For others, like colon, VERY high, but not breast. And so many people feel, and dangerously so, that if it is not in their family that they have little risk. WRONG. And same with age. Our friend Sylvia, now gone almost two years, was not yet 40. And several DIS'ers here, in remission and still fighting, are in there 30's, some early 30's. So the over 40 and family history mean little. As said, take control of your own lives.

Also--get those mamograms regularly----if I hadn't, I probably still wouldn't know about the cancer--as it was, we caught it early and that gave me a much better chance of survival. My oncologist explained that you are never "cured" of cancer because they don't know if one little cell escaped into your system--but the earlier it is caught, the less likely that is to have happened.