Need support (non-Disney related)

[MousekeMommy]

Hi folks,
I'm not usually this emotionally needy, but . . .
This morning I took my "normal" 6 year old to the dentist to have a procedure done for an over-bite before his adult teeth grow in. Anyway, I was sitting in the waiting room, and I heard him crying. Well, I know that he was just scared, and I heard the assistant and dentist reassuring him, letting him take a break, and he was talking normally within seconds, but even so, I started crying a bit, because it never feels good to hear your child genuinely crying (not just whining--that I can deal with! ) Anyway, the receptionist looks over at me and says, "oh, it'll be okay . . . just think what parents go through who have sick children in the hospital!" I know she meant well, but my knee-jerk reaction was--how patronizing! So I found myself saying "you mean like my 4year old who has had a pacemaker since the age of 18 months? That's kind of odd, because to me, it doesn't matter which child it is, it always hurts me when I hear my child afraid or in pain!" I was furious! And then she said "wow, I didn't know that people that young could get a pacemaker! I bet he almost died." Could she have made this any worse???!!!!!
But that brings me to my second scream of the day . . . I overheard 2 older ladies at the gas station talking about a woman who had to had to get a pacemaker--and she was only 34! My goodness, wasn't that awful, she's having such a hard time dealing with this, blah, blah, blah!!! You would have thought they were talking about someone who had just died! A genuine "fate worse than death", to hear them talk.
Really guys, I try not to be thin-skinned and just realize that people have no idea, but how do you keep from getting down? I guess I should just keep remembering "it could always be worse" . . . Unfortunately, it sometimes seems like my life (or rather, my sweet little guy's life) is someone else's worst nightmare! I thought we were doing just fine, but apparently I have no idea how awful it is and how pitiful we are!!! I'm so glad I was reminded!!! Really, I'm usually such an optimist and count my blessings, but today was absolutely TOO MUCH!!!

 

[livndisney]

MousekeMommy,

I understand. Sadly people don't always THINK before they open their mouths.

 

[sl_underwood]

I am sorry you and your child had to go through that. I am often amazed by people who dont think, ask rude questions, or make uninformed statements. Just the other day, my dd told her swim instructor (an adult mind you) that she was adopted, and the instructor asked her why her real parents didnt want her! I was shocked when she told me about this.

 

[livndisney]

I am sorry you and your child had to go through that. I am often amazed by people who dont think, ask rude questions, or make uninformed statements. Just the other day, my dd told her swim instructor (an adult mind you) that she was adopted, and the instructor asked her why her real parents didnt want her! I was shocked when she told me about this.

That is awful and completely unacceptable. We used to get a lot of stupid comments about my DD's adoption. (Knock on wood, we have not gotten any for awhile). My DD once told someone that SHE adopted me.

to you and your DD.

 

[minkydog]

Here's a hug, OP. It sounds like you're having a no good, very bad day. Sometimes I get a bit sensitive too and I just need to go have a good cry. I had a very good friend tell me once that she felt "so sorry for me, what a horrible life." It was all I could do to not have a "laying on of hands" while I reassured her that indeed, we didn't consider our life horrible, just different.

I'm sorry your little one got upset at the dentist. I have three kids and I agree, it doesn't matter which one is hurt, it hurts me. Maybe the next visit won't be so scary (good vibes, from the mom who no longer has to pin her 12yo to the chair with full body contact while he gets his teeth cleaned )

 

[alizesmom]

First, if your child is crying in distress it breaks your heart. Second, sometimes something comes along to remind us of how perilous our child's path has been. When that happens, reality just grabs you and shakes your soul. Of course you cried. I'll bet you will probably pick yourself up and go on with life. God bless. Karen

 

[SueM in MN]

everyone has one of those days sometimes......
and when you are already in one of those days, it doesn't take much to push you over the edge,

 

[daneenm]

I know what you mean! If I have one more person tell me...

• how their mother got to stop taking their Diabetes medication because she just started exercising maybe that would work for DS

• How he couldn't possibly have Diabetes because he is so thin

• did eating too much sugar as a baby cause his Diabetes?

I just have to keep reminding myself that I only know what I know because I have been living it for over 5 years. Before he was diagnosed, I didn't know much either. The same can be said for others. Unless they have experienced it, they may not know.

For your example, most of the population has never known a child with a pacemaker, most have not known a 34 year old with a pacemaker either.

As hard as it is to take, if the conversation is directed at me, I just try to gather my wits about me and help to educate. I can only hope that by educating folks about our situation, they will think before they make the comment to the next family they encounter.

Hang in there. I think most people don't mean to be hurtful, they just don't know they are.

All the Best!
Daneen

 

[OneLittleSpark]

I'm so sorry you've had a rough day. It's hard when people say thoughtless things, and I'm so sorry you got two encounters on the same day (especially when it was a hard day anyway).

Hope things are feeling a bit better now. If they're not, just go and look at your children's beautiful smiles and hopefully the thoughtlessness of strangers will suddenly seem insignificant.