Need some help - parent/teacher partnering

[jeepgirl30]

Our elementary school and middle school both have Reading Counts programs. Neither of my children are readers. I don't get it, my mom used to get mad because my head was always in a book. I still LOVE to read.

Elementary used to run incentives for the kids, so many points = rewards. They changed the rewards and my DS is so not interested! I told him fine, get the points and I will give you the reward.

DD always has excuses, no time, computers are taken, etc.

DH told both kids he would pay $1 per point.

I have been bugging the kids each week, how many points. Neither know. I have asked the teachers and pretty much get blown off. I have gotten letters from the school on how i can encourage my child to read. I'm frustrated, it seems they really push it but yet only on the surface. My DS was an above average student last year and so excited to do school work. This year he is still above in math but struggling in reading/spelling. I have asked the teacher for a conference.

I want advice on how to approach it so i come across as a parent really concerned about my son's progress and how we can work together to find out the best motivation for him. I do not want to make it sound as if i am accusing her of being a bad teacher.

For DD she is in special reading and always has been. I have emailed her teacher and asked how many points she has and explained DD had a long list of excuses which I believed were just that, excuses. I asked if she would please help me find a way to counter them and get her taking more tests for the points. The teacher said she didn't know how many points and would need to look it up if i really needed to know. She addressed one of the excuses and said she'd put a sign up sheet. That was it. This teacher does not have the best reputation but I don't feel it is all up to her. Again, just want to find a way we can work together to encourage DD.

I started out wanting advice on how to communicate with the teachers but realize i really want advice on how to get them to LOVE to read!

I do buy them books they want and that they are interested in. I have never said no to a book. I read to them, ask them to read to me, read my own Nook around them, etc.

 

[Hannathy]

Why do you care how many points they have? I don't want my kids teachers spending time worrying about how many points they have in a silly incentive program.

My DD reads constantly and she never wanted to bother writing things down for our program so she didn't.

Quit worrying about the incentives.

Big question and most important thing in getting kids to read, Do you and your DH read? do you read a lot? do you read in front of them, do you share what you are reading and discuss it? You said your nook but what about books, newspapers, magazines? can they use your nook?

don't worry about what they are reading either let them read what they want, whether it is cartoons, comic books or science fiction or the computer. My DS improved his reading quickly when he figured out the computer games he wanted to play had a ot of stuff to read in them.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You have to figure out their "hook" first of all. What genre they are in love with?

Second, I would have them read aloud every night.

In other words you are going to have to participate in the "reading time" everyday. You have to be in charge of the situation and not them.

My dd's are readers. My 14yodd reads the comics in the newspaper every morning with breakfast. Do your kids like comics?

Now they may never learn to love pleasure reading (my dh does not read for fun and probably only read maybe 5 books in his life for pleasure) however they will learn new vocabulary and other things from reading to you.

 

[Kitzka]

I don't have any real advice on the parent/teacher conference part but wanted to let you know that DH and I are also avid readers. I actauly work in publishing and LOVE LOVE to read. am usually reading 2 books at a time and can finish most books in 3-4 days. DH reads slower than i do but is always reading a book.

that being said our DD HATED to read for the longest time. It always killed me. SHe does have some comprehension issues and that hindered her love for reading but basuiclly, i let her read whatever she liked.
she use to read lots of magazines but she would read them out loud to me or DH. SHe gradually got into comics and slowly got into books. Now at 12 she likes to read. it's not the #1 thing she wants to do but often i have to tell her to stop reading so we can eat dinner or something similar.

I did have to talk to her teachers about this and made sure they were okay with her reading magazines instead of books for a short while.

also, maybe short stories would be good or even audio books? if a book is long DD likes to listen and read along.

Lara

 

[allison443]

Some great suggestions above. I never cared about what my kids were reading as long as they were reading something...comics, magazines, etc. were all fine.

Some other suggestions which may or may not be applicable...go to your library regularly.(same time every week or every other week). When you have to go somewhere and have to wait (dr. appointment, sibling activity, etc.) have them bring books instead of electronic games. When my kids were young I got them each a couple of magazine subscriptions they wanted, they loved getting mail and it was something to read.
When my kids went to bed they could stay up for an extra half hour to read.

One of my kids wasn't a huge reader, she just had so many other things she loved to do...one summer we had a harry potter challenge where we read all the harry potter books together, discussing them after each after chapter. She really improved her reading through that.

Good luck, reading is so important!

 

[si-am]

Sorry, but some kids just aren't readers and are never going to learn to love to read. I don't think it's fair to expect any teacher to be able to make a child LOVE to read, to actually change a disposition, and you can't beat yourself up as a parent, either, if your kids just never get there.

If you are talking like a "points" program like AR, sometimes those records are kept by the school librarian.

 

[indimom]

I started out wanting advice on how to communicate with the teachers but realize i really want advice on how to get them to LOVE to read!

I do buy them books they want and that they are interested in. I have never said no to a book. I read to them, ask them to read to me, read my own Nook around them, etc.

I had the same situation with my daughter for years. I'm an avid reader and she just hated it. She could read, but she was soooooooo slow. It took her forever to finish a book and those Accelerated Reading points systems were really frustrating for her. She would get a good score on the test (because her comprehension was fine) and they would raise her expected points. It was a downward spiral and she was getting so frustrated and was hating reading. (Not sure if yours are, but our kids reading program was part of their grade, so we couldn't just skip it or not count the points?)

I finally got frustrated and reread all the guidelines looking for some more information on the program so I could talk to her teacher. I noticed that "reading together" was acceptable in our program, so I maybe bent the rules a little. I figured listening to the book on CD wasn't any different. I started her with the Harry Potter series on CD and made her follow along in the books. This, she could do!

I don't know what it was about this, but she started to "get it." I honestly wonder if up to this point she was just "reading the words" if you know what I mean, and then deciphering each sentance into its visual image? (When I read, I don't even "see" the words, I just see the story in my head. But if I'm reading something technical it doesn't flow that easily and I have to really focus to get the information. I wondered if that was how all reading was for her?)

Anyway, she enjoyed the stories and started to actually read for enjoyment. She took the books to school and would continue the stories during her down time in class (so she was doing some of the reading on her own slowly. )

Maybe she was just a late bloomer, maybe it was the actual following along in the book that finally triggered an understanding, maybe she just finally realized that reading didn't have to equal work. All I know is, now, she is a good reader and will read on her own time just for fun.

So, after this long winded post, my suggestion is let them follow along with audio books. Maybe it will work for you too. Good Luck.

 

[jeepgirl30]

Why do you care how many points they have? I don't want my kids teachers spending time worrying about how many points they have in a silly incentive program.

My DD reads constantly and she never wanted to bother writing things down for our program so she didn't.

Quit worrying about the incentives.

Big question and most important thing in getting kids to read, Do you and your DH read? do you read a lot? do you read in front of them, do you share what you are reading and discuss it? You said your nook but what about books, newspapers, magazines? can they use your nook?

don't worry about what they are reading either let them read what they want, whether it is cartoons, comic books or science fiction or the computer. My DS improved his reading quickly when he figured out the computer games he wanted to play had a ot of stuff to read in them.

I said I read in front of them, have them read to me and read to them. I also said i never said no to a book meaning they choose whatever they want to read. We have 2 nooks, one is mine and the other is for DH and the kids. Although they are allowed to use mine as well. No reading is off limits. When we play Wii I have them read the instructions.

I don't care about what the school is offering for incentives, i was saying they changed it so my son isn't excited anymore to hit the point levels. We are offering incentives to help motivate them to read and to get the points.

I do see I did not explain why the points matter. I care about how many points because this is factored into their grades. My DD has been in a remedial reading class and they use the low points as reason to keep her in, along with other things. I do not feel she needs this class any longer but since she is not showing any interest they are keeping her in it. The school gets funding depending on the number of kids in this special reading so it is in their best interest to keep her in it, not necessarily hers.

My son got a meets expectations for reading instead of exceeds expectations as he has in the past because he did not have any reading counts points.

The school pushes the points but it doesn't seem like the teachers push the kids to get them if that makes any sense.

My concern for the teacher is if they are evaluated on number of points how do i get them to get the points? And why can't i find out how many points they have until after i get the report card saying they don't have enough. I see test scores so I know how they are doing but not the reading points.

 

[golfgal]

Stop pushing them. The more you push, the more you offer incentives, etc. the more THEY see it as a chore. Read TO them if you must but don't MAKE them read. I don't believe you can MAKE a child love reading. That is something they have to discover on their own.

I do know that many kids that don't love to read have problems reading--bad eye sight, learning disabilities, etc. Make sure you have looked into all of those.

Our oldest HATED to read. He would read his Nintendo magazine and game guides and that was IT. In 4th grade we had him tested for learning disabilities (he didn't have any) but he tested out at a junior in college for reading level . Somehow his 7th grade English teacher turned him on to reading and now he LOVES to read.

 

[Aneille]

OP: I am sorry. This would be frustrating for me as well. If the points count towards their grade then I would be trying to push it as well. And although I do push reading to some extent on my kids, I don't over do it. It is counter productive I think.

My kids school starts AR reading in 2nd grade but the only take the tests in school and they are not factored into their grade as far as I know.

In 3rd grade they can take the tests at home or at school. And again not factored into their grade.

I don't think they have an expected reading point level, since I have never got anything from the teacher about it. And my 3rd grader tells me more than I need to know about school!

My 3rd grader will get a prize at the end of the year if she has read the most books for the most points. That is the only incentive. AR isn't pushed to much in their school.

I can access all scores at home. She has a login and password. I just use her information to see everything. We didn't realize she could take the test at home at first and she was reading books and not taking the tests. Now she takes a test every time she finishes a book, even if its only worth .5 points. So it is possible to get the information if it is AR and set up the same way as my kids.

I would be upset as well. You are trying to help your child get a better grade but you can't get the information to do it. Hopefully, things will work out, otherwise I would just let my kids read when they want and try not to stress to much about it. (easier said then done!)

One thing that did help oldest move from easier (below her reading level books) to books at her reading level was:

1. She got a Nook for Christmas.
2. She saw the movie Owls of Gahoole (which we own as a paperback but she refused to read because it was too hard or long or some other excuse). Once she saw the movie she related to the characters better and is flying through the series now. It really accelerated her love of reading.

Does your DS have a favorite movie that is also a book?

 

[Magic Mom]

Our elementary school and middle school both have Reading Counts programs. Neither of my children are readers. I don't get it, my mom used to get mad because my head was always in a book. I still LOVE to read.

Elementary used to run incentives for the kids, so many points = rewards. They changed the rewards and my DS is so not interested! I told him fine, get the points and I will give you the reward.

DD always has excuses, no time, computers are taken, etc.

DH told both kids he would pay $1 per point.

I have been bugging the kids each week, how many points. Neither know. I have asked the teachers and pretty much get blown off. I have gotten letters from the school on how i can encourage my child to read. I'm frustrated, it seems they really push it but yet only on the surface. My DS was an above average student last year and so excited to do school work. This year he is still above in math but struggling in reading/spelling. I have asked the teacher for a conference.

I want advice on how to approach it so i come across as a parent really concerned about my son's progress and how we can work together to find out the best motivation for him. I do not want to make it sound as if i am accusing her of being a bad teacher.

Be honest and tell her just what you told us. If she's good she will understand.

My son was never a reader until he started reading adult books (not adult books LOL, but books for adults like Tom Clancy etc.) Once he discovered his interest, he became an avid reader.

 

[laurafergie]

I agree - don't bring up the incentives again. It sounds to me that reading/points is becoming a power struggle in your household.

In our house, reading is part of homework. It always has been, even if the teacher did not require them to read at home. (This was mainly when the older ones were in elementary) As soon as they walk in the door, homework is completed and then they have to read a specified(by me) amount of pages. DD11 reads 50 pages. DD7 reads 20 pages. I came up with those numbers, because I want them to read at least 30-45 minutes. Do not tell them to read for "a half an hour" - because they will just sit there and not progress.

Afterward we have a brief, maybe 3-5 minutes, conversation on "What happened in the book". This will tell you if they actually read and it helps build their comprehension levels. Also it helps them to learn to articulate their thoughts.

This routine will work. I started this when DS24 was in 2nd grade and almost flunked out, because of his refusal to read. Today, he attends graduate school at The Citadel, and while he does not live and breath books as I do, he will read for pleasure and has done very well in college.

 

[jeepgirl30]

One thing that did help oldest move from easier (below her reading level books) to books at her reading level was:

1. She got a Nook for Christmas.
2. She saw the movie Owls of Gahoole (which we own as a paperback but she refused to read because it was too hard or long or some other excuse). Once she saw the movie she related to the characters better and is flying through the series now. It really accelerated her love of reading.

Does your DS have a favorite movie that is also a book?

Taking advise of this and another poster I ordered DS the audio cd for Percy Jackson book 1. He loves the movie and got the book set for Christmas. He was excited to read it at first but it was a bit challenging.

I will try and chill out with them! Reading needs to be fun and having mom force it doesn't make it fun. I'm going to look into the Owls of Gahoole for DD.

 

[Aneille]

Taking advise of this and another poster I ordered DS the audio cd for Percy Jackson book 1. He loves the movie and got the book set for Christmas. He was excited to read it at first but it was a bit challenging.

I will try and chill out with them! Reading needs to be fun and having mom force it doesn't make it fun. I'm going to look into the Owls of Gahoole for DD.

Oh I wanted to address the Audio Books. My DH doesn't read at all. He is a technical guy but he loves stories. He does all books on audio now.

He uses his Ipod and it works really well for books. He gets a lot of books from the library and from audible.com (a paid subscription site but they offer free trials)

It is a really nice feature if your library has ebooks and audio books online. We can log in and waitlist our books and then download them onto our device when they are available. Best of all its free! Audio books can be pricey.

BTW if your son likes Harry Potter my DH loved how they were done on audio. He also did the entire Percy Jackson series and said that was pretty good too.

Good Luck!

 

[indimom]

Taking advise of this and another poster I ordered DS the audio cd for Percy Jackson book 1. He loves the movie and got the book set for Christmas. He was excited to read it at first but it was a bit challenging.

I will try and chill out with them! Reading needs to be fun and having mom force it doesn't make it fun. I'm going to look into the Owls of Gahoole for DD.

I hope he likes it. My kids really liked that series. They have also read the first book in the next series (The Lost Hero?) and can't wait for the next. Good Luck.

 

[mhsjax]

OP. I think I understand where you are coming from, but I have no words of wisdom for you because everything stated here doesn't work for my kids.

We also have reading counts. Our kids have to pass so many every 9 weeks, or else your grade goes way down. I do read in front of them. We tell them how important it is. They have been tested, they are all way above grade level. My oldest is finally starting to tolerate it, the youngest will read but only because he hates getting a bad grade. The middle child, DD 12. She would rather get a root canal. She is in all pre-ap classes, they don't have AP in 6th grade where we live.

One pp said that they make reading part of homework, Yeah right, like I haven't tried that. If they did take a reading counts test, she would go in her room or wherever, and fake it. That answer just doesn't cut it, for a true non reader. I would be stupid to just tell her it is part of homework and to do a certain number of pages. The only way I know is the reading counts tests.
I have 3 and I won't read their books just to know if they have read it, and I don't have time to have discussions on weather or not they have read it. This is part of my, let my kids be an adult and grow up parenting, I won't go behind them and make sure they have done it they will land do suffer the consequences if they don't.

She is a mostly A student, except in Language Arts, because she usually only gets 3 books read. I have purchased every type book I can think of. She wouldn't even read Twilight and all of her friends where reading it.

In short, I understand you wanting to get your child to read. I think the answers given here really don't work for a child that refuses to read. And yes I think the points are a good idea, and any teacher here would know exactly how many points they have and would gladly give it to you.

 

[Leajess99]

Our school does AR parties as the incentive. AR starts at 1st grade and each grade is assigned a certain number of points required to make it to the party.

For example second grade is 8 points while 5th grade is 12 points. Kids can also earn a free t-shirt is they meet the goal for those. My 8 year old is 2 points from the goal and still has a whole nother grading period to go. She loves to read as does my 12 year old daughter. The sad thing here is that the best punishment, one that will really sink in with the girls, is grounding them from reading.

 

[badblackpug]

Why do you care how many points they have? I don't want my kids teachers spending time worrying about how many points they have in a silly incentive program.

My DD reads constantly and she never wanted to bother writing things down for our program so she didn't.

Quit worrying about the incentives.

Big question and most important thing in getting kids to read, Do you and your DH read? do you read a lot? do you read in front of them, do you share what you are reading and discuss it? You said your nook but what about books, newspapers, magazines? can they use your nook?

don't worry about what they are reading either let them read what they want, whether it is cartoons, comic books or science fiction or the computer. My DS improved his reading quickly when he figured out the computer games he wanted to play had a ot of stuff to read in them.

If the OPs school is anything like ours, the points factor into their grade. They have to have so many points per grading period to maintain their grade, and so many to elevate their grade. If they are below the required requirement their grades actually drop. The incentives are just that... an incentive to make them more willing to do the reading, but the grade aspect still exists.

 

[portocall]

I'm not a fan of accelerated reader or any incentive based reading program. It turns reading into a chore IMHO. Two of my children are readers now (10 and 11) but it was slow going. When my middle (10) child discovered Goosebumps he took off. Now he reads anything and everything and wants a Kindle and actually cried real tears yesterday when he found out Borders was closing. My oldest reads, but is very picky over the genre and authors. When he finds one he likes he sticks with it. We used to read all the time aloud at night and the rule in our house is you can't watch a movie based on a book until you read the book. That helped a lot since they are usually movies they want to see.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

I remember years ago, the week that I was going in to have my son, My DD's teacher came to me and said that she was going to fail reading if I didn't get her help. I was shocked. She ready perfectly with me at home. We hired a Tudor and she said she didn't see why I needed her, that DD was reading fine. She passed reading that year, and I had a hard time not questioning if the problem was the teacher.

Fast forward a couple of years. I was told by her 5th grade teacher that she was reading on a HS level. She actually developed a love for reading, all on her own. She is always reading a book, and when the Twilight books were so popular, she read all of those books in two weeks. She reads books all the time. I order them from Amazon a few at a time.

Now my other DD, forget it. Unless it involves twitter, facebook or Justin Beiber, she will not be reading it. I actually put her into a reading enrichment class last semester and she did great, but she complained because it wasn't interesting to her. I had to force her to read those books. Yet she will read for hours on the computer or magazines.

I truly think that if you give your child a book to read with a subject that they love, or that they are really interested in, it really does help. Another thing, all kids are different. My three could not be more different from each other.