Need some advice please

[Octoberbeauty]

Friday is the 1st anniversary of my stepdad's passing. (Actually it's Saturday, but it happened on a Friday last year, kwim?) I want to do something special for my mom, but I don't know what. I'm at a complete loss and need some ideas. His death was sudden-he had a massive heart attack while out jogging. She's done amazingly well (IMO) this first year, but this week is already so tough on her. I just don't think flowers will cut it, but I want to do "something" to ease her pain. My sil and I are spending the night with her and watching movies/having a girl's night type thing, but what can I do in memory of him and to help ease her pain??
Thanks so much,
Sherry
We're on our way to her house for dinner so I'll check back in later.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

I think spending the time with your mom is the most important _ i always make sure I know the anniversary of her parent's death and that she is not the only one that misses them! I also make sure she knows that I think of them throughout the year - sometimes it is as simple as saying - "she sure would have loved my kids" when I know they did something she would ahve gotten a kick out of! (okay now i miss my grandma!!!)

I don't know if you were close to your step-dad but maybe you could write her a letter telling her why you loved him even if those reasons are becasue he loved her!

 

[mickey65]

No ideas for you , just a

 

[Yardbird]

While you are together that evening, before the movies and fun, light a candle in memory of your step dad, and take turns telling a story of a fond memory that you have of him. You could end this time together by holding hands, and having a moment of silence before blowing out the candle. Yes, there will be tears, and it may not ease her pain, but it will be a way to honor and remember him.

 

[SnowAngel]

I'm not sure if this works for everyone but My Mom celebrates my brother's birthday every year since he died Jan 2001.

She has a small cake and we go out to eat.

Today was his birthday

 

[vald1977]

Hugs to you, SnowAngel and Octoberbeauty.

What about a tree that the three of you could plant during your girl's night?

 

[Dan Murphy]

's Sherry and Snow Angel both.

 

[Disney Princess 6]

You are really already doing the most important thing - thinking of her and spending time with her during this sad anniversary.

I know you don't want her to feel pain and sadness, the truth is that by experiencing those things, she'll become stronger. There's just really no way to totally take the pain out of this situation for your mom.

If she'd like to talk about him or go through photo albums, then do those things. But if she'd rather just hang out, then go ahead and do that. Everyone reacts slightly differently to loss. Just know that you are doing the best that you can to help her cope - and I'm sure it will be enough for her just to have you there.

 

[Octoberbeauty]

Thanks everyone. I know that spending time with her is the most important thing, but I would like to do something more; something to mark the occasion-celebrate his life. I was thinking about making her a CD of "their" songs. He loved music and when she hears certain songs they remind her of him, so I was thinking of putting those all together on one CD. How does that sound?
I appreciate your advice and your hugs,
Sherry

 

[julia & nicks mom]

Sherry - that is a great idea and I know she will really appreciate it! Every mother should be so lucky!

 

[cadburysmom]