Need parenting advice QUICK

[always quiet]

I am so mad and so sad right now, I feel like crying!! The principal of my son's school just called me. Kirk has NEVER been in trouble before and I just don't know how to deal with this. Seems that another boy either ripped up or crinkled up a paper (I am thinking classwork). Kirk got mad and took his glue stick and smeared it all over the boys chair. The kid sat in it. Kirk was sent to the principal. Part of me is heartbroken that he did this, the other part just wants to shake the stuffin' out of him because of it!!! The principal and I discussed this (on speaker phone with Kirk in the room) and instead of an inschool suspension, he will learn some respect for those of us who clean up after others in life and is spending the next couple days after school for an hour helping the custodial staff clean. I made sure that Kirk knew what the after school bus # was (I KNOW he knows but wasn't going to give him the chance to say he didn't know and would come home right after school ) I just don't know what to do with this kid. He has never been a trouble maker............I guess that nice new bike that Magna bikes sent him will need to go unused for awhile longer!!. Maybe no computer and no video games as well.........

Please send whatever pixie dust you can spare....I need to cool down before he gets home.....

 

[hentob]

If he has been fine and you have had no troubles with him up until this point--I would have to say this is no biggie.

His property was destoyed. He fought back by putting the glue on the offender's seat. Not the best way to react, but he was angry.

He is being punished at school. I would not punish him at home. I would sit him down and discuss how to handle future situations like this.

Then I would drop it.

Hentob

 

[CBRorBust]

I'm sure there is more to the story than just the boy crinkling his paper, It had to have been much more.

Either way...hugs! I'm sure your son is just having a bad day.

 

[Pam]

I agree with hentob.

We all have our breaking point - sounds like he reached his today.

 

[Mermaid02]

My guess would be this is not the first "interaction" your son has had with this other boy- maybe your son just finally had enough. I would possibly put him on restriction for the same amount of time that the principal has him helping the custodial staff. I would also try to find out the rest of the story from your son. Good luck!!

 

[Deb in IA]

If you haven't already, talk to the teacher and find out if there is more to the story than what you've gotten from the principal.



Make Kirk apologize to the kid and the kid's parents about the glue.


Instead of just punishing him, discuss with Kirk the appropriate ways to deal with incidents like when other kids destroy your papers.

 

[MICKEY88]

If he receives an allowance I would have him pay to replace the other boys pants, odds are they may have been ruined..

 

[addicted_to_WDW]

I agree with hentob too. Even the most even tempered, easy going kids will occasionally have issues like this. If it is not the norm for him, I'd say he has been punished enough.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Perhaps this boy has been bothering your son for awhile? I would sit and have a heart to heart with your son after you calm down and have time to think.

You say he has never been in trouble before? Find out more info before punishing. Try and understand your sons side, as there may be much more to the story.

 

[peg2001]

I think DS showed great restraint. He did not push, hit, or punch the other kid, even though he might have wanted to. Having to clean at school is the perfect consequence.

I might talk to him about it but I wouldn't offer further punishment.

Peggy

 

[BibbidiBobbidiBOO]

I actually think the punishment that he is receiving at school is enough. Computers and bikes have nothing to do with the incident. I would discuss it at home and make sure he does apologize.
The punishment does fit the crime-leave it at that, along with a discussion. Good luck! Kids...never a dull moment!

 

[CEDmom]

Personally if my child did something like that and was doled out a punishment like your son's I wouldn't punish her further at home. I'd just support how the school was handling the situation although I would let my child know that I was disapointed in how she handled the conflict. I'd also try to find out if there was anything more going on with this other kid or at school in general. From what you said in your post your DS didn't instigate anything. He reacted poorly but that's not uncommon for most kids and many adults.

 

[FreshTressa]

I agree with hentob and the previous posters!

You are lucky to have such a nice little boy that doesn't get in trouble often.

 

[pirateofthecarolinas]

We tell our children that we are disappointed in them instead of yelling. It crushes them. You may not have to say too much.

Lori

 

[always quiet]

I think I might call and see if I can reach the principal before Kirk gets home. I don't think he knows any more than he did when he was talking to me, but maybe it he talks to the teacher, he'll be able to see what other events lead up to the glue stick incident. Maybe she can shed some light on the situation. There are always 3 sides to every story...side 1, side 2 and the truth. You would think all the years of being the older brother and listening to me tell all 3 kids that sometimes, you just can't handle the situation alone, go get an adult (like if kid 1 is pinching kid 2, kid 2 can't bite to get even! ), that it would of sunk in! The principal should of questioned the other kid as well, since if he's getting Kirk with "defacing school property" the other kid should face "destruction of personal property".

 

[nativetxn]

It isn't easy being a mom, some days. {{{HUGS}}} my friend

 

[always quiet]

I just spoke to the principal. He told me to talk to Kirk tonight and hear in Kirk's words what happened. He seems to think there was a bit more involved than a wrinkled paper as well (now could someone please tell me why he didn't call both kids down to the office at the same time!??! ). He wants to see Kirk tomorrow and have him give the name of the other student. I suggested talking to the teacher first. See if she can help out with the details.

You know, I don't drink, but right now....I could use something!!!

 

[Rajah]

How about a cup of hot decaf tea?

 

[SnowAngel]

I hope all works out. I, too, agree about not getting angry at him but letting him know you are disappointed in him. Sometimes kids (and adults ) react angry though maybe not in the best way. I am still trying to teach my girls not to react to each other but come tell an adult. Sometimes children need a way to learn how to react. If they hold in emotions when sometime bad happens it will come out sometime.

It sounds like you are handling it great. Good Luck.

 

[Tinkerbelle739]

Hentob said it best and I agree. I think the schools response was a good one. I like the idea of him helping the custodial staff and not just sitting in the principals office or suspension. I also would not punish him at home.

Wishing everyone a "magical" day!