Need help with "natural consequences"

[MidgeD79]

I have a son (10) who has been diagnosed with Aspergers, adha, pdd and ld. He is NOT a morning person. Those of you who have kids with these diagnosis's know how difficult it can be to make a child do something they don't want to. Our morning is very structured: 5:30 am time to wake up - 5:45 time to wake up again and timer set for 20 minutes until breakfast is over - 6:05 breakfast is over and timer is set for 25 minutes to get dressed and take medication - 6:30 out the door. Whare would the "natural consequences" be for not doing these things?

 

[bookwormde]

As with all situations with individual which are on the autism spectrum the first thing to look at is if it is a manifestation or because of a missing “skill” or a sensory environmental issue. Additionally you mention medication, which can have a profound impact on sleep patterns and “wakability”.

“Natural consequences” is primarily a social convention and you may find a much better approach is to use “logical outcomes”.

My first guess is if the medication you are using is one of the stimulates, then you have created a peak and valley situation. This is one of the many reasons that these classes of drugs are contraindicated for Aspergers individuals, except in short term critical circumstances where manifestations are limiting significant progress in his social skills/TOM/EF curriculum.

bookwormde

 

[ireland_nicole]

Does he like school? Would he be bothered by a tardy? If so, that might do it. Does grooming matter to him? I have sent DD to school w/o her hair done if she doesn't complete tasks in time for me to do it. Or perhaps going to school in pjs (I would wear sweats, just in case). In our house, they earn chips for each task completed on time and appropriately, and each of those is worth $.10, so they get less money if they don't do things the first time. Or perhaps make bedtime earlier by the same amount of time he dawdles, or take the same time of tv/computer, etc.
I'll keep thinking about it.

 

[BeckyScott]

We have a household of "not a morning person".

We also use the timer for everything. I would recommend going with a Time Timer instead of a digital, because I know my kids have a hard time with the concept of time passing, and the Time Timer is more visual. Downside is the Time Timer is more expensive and more fun to play with.

The way we work things here, and not saying we're Perfect Parents, but if the kids are up, dressed, meds, breakfast, whatever time is left they can play Wii or play on the computer. This is a pretty effective bribe. I will admit at first I was waking them up 15 minutes earlier than usual, to guarantee some play-time. Your kid might not care if he gets to play on the computer, but at our house it's major currency.

The other thing I've found effective with our oldest, is telling him point-blank: "We leave the house at 8 a.m. If you're still in your pajamas, that's how you're going to school. If you haven't eaten, you'll just have to starve. If your teeth are nasty and you smell, that's too bad." (I don't mention vitamins or meds 'cause those aren't negotiable) He hasn't called my bluff on it, but I would take him to school in pajamas, because it would only happen once.

Last spring I was sitting in the school office, I had come to pick up one of the DS's for a dr appt, it was about 10:00. A mom came in with her son, checking him in, told the secretary that she couldn't get him out of bed in the mornings and could the counselor talk to him? I had no idea that parents did that. Honestly.

And like bookworme pointed out, if your son is on a stimulant for the ADHD, that could be really messing with his sleep. We had that problem, too. We've switched meds but now I don't think this one is working, so I don't have an answer for you there. But DS got in a nasty pattern that way-- the stimulant interfered with his sleep. So in the morning he was groggy because he didn't get enough sleep, then it was time to pop another stimulant, which would wake him up and get him hopping for the day. And that night he'd have trouble falling asleep again. And yes we tried melatonin. And the next morning he'd take his ADHD meds to get woken up again. That's not a good cycle. I don't know exactly how to fix it, either.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

My 13 year old son has Asperger's and also hates getting up in the morning. Heck, I don't like getting up either so who can blame him?

I see it as a transition issue. These guys don't like transitioning out of a comfortable situation into one that is less so. And what is more comfortable than being asleep in your own bed? And we know that kids with Asperger's are happiest when doing what they want to do and not what they're told to do, right?

The most important thing is to find out what his currency is. What is the one thing he enjoys the most and would be willing to work for? For my son, it's his beloved computer time. He earns and loses computer time by his behavior and compliance with our requests. He really wants to keep all of his time for when he gets home from school so just one reminder that he could lose it usually does the trick of getting him up. If he loses it, we always follow through and he knows it.

 

[MidgeD79]

Thanks for all of the replies! His medication doesn't appear to be a problem. He gets his last dose at 3 pm and it wears off by 6:30 pm. I can tell because that's when his appetit increases. I have started to have him put his clean clothes in a pile with his shoes so they can be grabbed as a pile if he needs to. I have also started to have him sleep in his boxers so when he wakes up cold he wants/needs to get dressed. I've tried to talk to him about his morning issues in the afternoon when his medication is working and he claims not to remember the things he does (or doesn't do ) in the morning. He loves his "electronic" time but in the am , he doesn't care about what happens in the pm. I'm thinking about the "before we leave for school in the am" computer time. He seems to cycle out about every 2 weeks on consequences, so I need to have a few things to rotate to keep it fresh.