Need help from other parents!

[TammyAlphabet]

My DD7 has developed a fear of flying and a fear of cruising. She says that the boat is going to sink. I showed her the picture of the Magic with the life boats and explained how important safety is on the boat. But the fear remains. How can I reassure her?

 

[Laurajean1014]

Can you take her on a boat to show her that boats are safe? During the first few hours you and your family will have to go through safety drills. This may frighten her, so you may need to get creative.

 

[ivanova]

You probably need to figure out what spawned these fears ... has she watched the Titanic movie, or any type of documentaries or news stories on TV, etc.

One you know what is behind the fears you can work on helping her through them.

 

[disneydizz]

Can you give her some kind of lucky charm type thing... we gave our DD7 a troll doll and told her it was lucky and that nothing bad could happen as long as she had it with her. she happily carried that thing through airports, summer camp, even had it in her backpack for the first day of school. Good luck!

 

[Momeska]

I'm not advocating the use of pharmaceuticals here but that's the route we had to take in order to convince DS13 to fly. He had flown many, many times but since 9/11, refused to board an airplane. I spoke to our pediatrician about it and he told me it is very common with children since it was on the tv 24/7 and that sometimes a mild sedative is all that's needed. We gave it to him before our flight and he was perfectly fine. He didn't think it did anything for him so refused to take it for the flight home and apparently got over that hump because he no longer had the fear. I don't know if this would be appropriate for a younger child but it was the only way we were getting our son on a plane. He had no fear of the ship. Perhaps you should speak to your pediatrician about it. Just a thought. Good luck!

 

[TammyAlphabet]

Well, we are going to Florida in August and I bought her a sterling silver rabbit on a chain and this will be her good luck charm. So far it makes her feel better to know that she has some good luck to take with her and doesn't seem nearly as worried to me. But if this trip doesn't go well, I may have to get Pharmicutical!!

 

[BuzzBoyMom]

Are there any boats/ ferry boats/ paddle boats/ lunch cruises close to your house that you can go out for an hour or so...enjoy the experience and show her that it is okay. I'm thinking work her up to the experience of a cruise...

 

[poconoboatniks]

Tammy,

Feel free to have your daughter pm my kids (ds 7 & dd 11) who have 4 cruises under their belts. She can ask them anything she wants that may help her feel more comfortable. We have to fly out of Phila to get to MCO. Dh's schedule does not allow us to drive. My husband was 1 1/2 blocks away from WTC on 9/11. His building was hit by landing gear of one of the planes. My 11 yr old was very nervous the first time DH flew for business. She was even more nervous when we flew for the first time after 9/11. I can sympathize with her. I was apprehensive myself. Our first cruise was in 2002!

Another suggestion: Focus on all the fun she will have while onboard. Tell her all about the friends she will make. Does she have a favorite character? Maybe, someone can send her a postcard with an invitation to cruise on it. Don't let her watch the news anymore.

Good luck!

Poconoboatniks

 

[TammyAlphabet]

You guys are so sweet!! I really do appreciate the help! I will ask her this weekend if she has any questions or concerns that she might want answered and pm you for the response. That might help alot as a matter of fact. They have paddleboats at the lake closeby and she has been on them before but, it was awhile ago and she has forgotten. I will have to do that again! Thanks for all the advice.

 

[stitchmom]

Tammy-

We went on DCL for the first time last year, and our youngest son was 7 years old. He was scared to death that the ship was going to sink and begged to be left at home. What worked for us was to make a list of pros and cons about the cruise (i.e., pro-seeing Mickey, lots of "free" ice cream; con-fear of the unknown). By the time we were done, we had lots more pros than cons, and I think it gave him a sense of control. As soon as he boarded the ship, he never expressed any concerns or fears - he was too busy figuring out what activity to do next! Good luck!

 

[mom x4 grandma x4]

Do you have the free DVD from DCL. It shows all the possitive things he can look forward to doing on the cruise. Also if you havnt already got on a thread on this site with your fellow cruiseers from your cruise. Do that and ask if anyone has a child around the age of your child. Help them to get started writing to each other before your cruise. Then your son will already have a new friend on board. Make sure you set uo a meeting time ( most disers do, to meet the first day). Then your son can meet his new friend or friends before the ship sails. This will give him something to think about while waiting to board the ship, and something to look forward to right after lunch. Kids have a way of helping other kids cope where adults cant sometimes. Maybe he could look for a small gift for his new friend that has to do with cruisin to give him when they meet. That is something else to think about that is possitive. The travel channel shows lots of shows on cruising during the summer months, watch them with him and talk about all the fun the people you are watching are having and how exciting it will be when it's your turn to be having fun too. He definately needs to be made aware of the safety drill. They do blow the ships horn and you do wear a life jacket as you go to your station. Maybe he could try one on in a sporting goods store ahead of time so he is familiar with, and explain how you cant go under water with this on and he will have his very own waiting for him in his room when you get there. Be warned that some kids to cry during the drill, because they dont like wearing the vest so that may be upsetting to him. The sail away party on deck 9 right after the drill will get his mind off of it I'm sure. If you get right in the thick of the party he probably wont even know that the ship has started to move. I wish you all the luck in the world, but I do believe that if he had a friend on board waiting to meet him, that would really help him have something possitive to think about. I had some similar fears my first time cruising because I dont swim and I had a terrible water experience as a child. But once the fun began at the deck party, I was hooked on cruising and have been 7 times in 2 years, and have booked 8, 9 and 10 already. I'm sure he will love it too.
mom x4,grandma x4

 

[mark & sandra]

tell her that she is not the only one to feel like this. That even adults feel the same way till they get on board and see how safe it is most of all let her know that you understand her feelings and explane to her that you will be their with her every step of the way and would never let anything happen to her and tell her you are little afraid to but if you bolth hold on to each other then you know that you bolth be fine explane that security is much better then it was a few years ago so their is no reason to stress maybe take a ferry ride to help reashure her that boats will stay up. sandra

 

[TammyAlphabet]

Tammy,

Feel free to have your daughter pm my kids (ds 7 & dd 11) who have 4 cruises under their belts. She can ask them anything she wants that may help her feel more comfortable.

PM sent. She is basically worried about the boat sinking. She says their are big fish in the water that might eat us if we went in the water. I know where this came from now.
We visited a pier a few months ago and there were lots of fish very close to the pier as they were often fed by visitors. She was scared of the fish. At the time I didn' t understand why. Now it is clear. Thanks for all the help and keep the ideas coming. I bet i am not the only parent with this problem.