Need advise!

[aduck126]

So here's the problem, maybe you ladies can help me out.

I am having an escape wedding and in the early stages of making the guest list I included my cousin as my maid of honor. I asked her and she said yes. We are close to the same age and I knew that she would be able to go for sure, so it seemed like an easy decision. Then my best friend since first grade let me know that she is able to go. I originally didn't include her because she is a newly wed with a brand new house and not alot of extra money. She assured me she would be saving up enough to be able to fly out. So I made her a bridesmaid.

Okay here's where it gets complicated. My cousin and I are not and have never been close. We just have such different personalities that we have never really gotten along. I know that she isn't planning a toast or anything maid of honor-esque. Where as my best friend is calling me all the time, checking wedding stuff, going to buy stuff with me, and wanting to do the toast. She actually cares, where as my cousin does not, she is more upset over having to miss a couple days of school to fly down. My friend has also expressed feeling bad that she is not my maid of honor. So would it be incredibly rude to denote my cousin as maid of honor?

thoughts???

 

[teddygurl28]

hmmm....would you concider two maid of honors? that way you can not have to remove your cousin?

although if your cousin is griping about missing classes, you may be able to leverage that with dropping her ? let her know if shes not the moh she doesnt need to miss as much time? ( or would it not matter anyways?)
also if she doesnt want to be the moh and do what a moh should do (or should want to do) then she really shouldnt be in that position...family or not....
..but how would your family react?
....im all for do what makes you happy...and from this only post it seems your best friend is the one for the job...but there may be a much bigger back story that we arent familiar with that could complicate things

although having your friend express her unhappiness over not beinh moh isnt the best thing...she should be aware why you didnt choose her ( your thought that with her being a newly wed/new house owner it would be too much on her) let her know you were trying to look out for her best interest..

 

[Bride-to-be]

Your problem is solved!!!

You can have both a maid of honor and also a matron of honor! Let them both play the role of MOH - let them both know that one is matron of and the other is maid of - and let them figure out the order in which they stand next to you. If your cousin sees that your friend has done so much I am sure she will let your friend stand next to you and it will be no big deal. Then she still gets to keep the title of MOH.

When my twin gets married next april I am going to be her matron of honor and my little sister is going to be her maid of honor. My mom came up with the idea but it seems reasonable to me.

 

[Sarah <3 Disney]

I agree with Bride-to-be, I would have a matron of honor and a maid of honor. It is a simple way to solve this problem, without hurting anyone's feelings or causing unnecessary family drama by demoting your cousin. And then you know for sure at least one of them will help you with the planning process. Hope it all works out!

 

[aduck126]

Ugh I just sent my cousin an email explaining that my friend is going to the matron of honor and she got all mad about it!

 

[Sarah <3 Disney]

Your wedding, not hers. Tell her to deal with it.

Edit: Okay, kind of rude, but honestly, some people...

 

[aduck126]

I know. it's like trying to put together your own wedding and pay for it isn't enough stress. Now I have to deal with all this petty crap too.

 

[Bride-to-be]

tell her to deal!