Need advice, vent

[DVCisME]

My son is 4 and this is his first year of preschool. Last week he pushed a child off a bench during lunch time. He said it was because the kid was blowing in his face. The next day I went to talk to the teacheer about the incident to ask if this type of behavior was normal, and the father of the other child cut me off and started asking questions. He made it seem like I should have done something, they were at school. While I understand his concern, I felt it could have been discussed when I was done. I also do feel that they are 4!
Well today my son was bite twice by this child. I was made aware of the situation from the school, not who the child was. When I pulled into the lot the father stared at me and then came up to say that he thinks this incident happened because of what my son did last week. I feel that undermines what has happened and would have just appreciated him saying nothing. I understand that they are 4 and that things happen, not condoning the behavior but understanding. But to have the nerve and say that this is my son's fault bothers me. If you have nothing nice to say aren't you supposed to say nothing at all.
I explained that they are four and I expect and understand that these things are going to happen and left it at that. I in no way hold the parent responsible, or for that matter the child- he obviously was upset and just did not communicate it the right way. I am unhappy that my son was bit twice with no intervention.
And I am unhappy that this parent is acting like his child is perfect WTH!

 

[okeydokey]

The Dad was being defensive because his son was at fault. I hope the school takes the biting seriously and it doesn't happen again. Has your son shown any other aggression since the pushing? Some kids just don't play well together and should be told to just leave each other alone. There must be other kids and things to play with that will keep them occupied.

 

[RMulieri]

Welcome to preschool.It is not unusual for kids to still push and bite at the age of 4.As far as the parent thinking his child is an angel...also not a new thing .You will find as your school years progress, many many parents tend to get very defensive if you imply that their child may be not so angelic.I am sorry this has happened to you.I know at my daycare/preschool they have rules on disclosing who the offending child is to prevent parents from retailiating and confronting each other that way.They will only tell you that an incident occurred and what was taken to correct it.

 

[DVCisME]

My son has not done anything else. This is actually the second time this week that he was hurt, another child hurt his hand. I fear that the behavior of the other children will wind up being his behavior also.

 

[DVCisME]

Welcome to preschool.It is not unusual for kids to still push and bite at the age of 4.As far as the parent thinking his child is an angel...also not a new thing .You will find as your school years progress, many many parents tend to get very defensive if you imply that their child may be not so angelic.I am sorry this has happened to you.I know at my daycare/preschool they have rules on disclosing who the offending child is to prevent parents from retailiating and confronting each other that way.They will only tell you that an incident occurred and what was taken to correct it.

I feel that they should not disclose who did it either. I had a feeling it was that child, and my son would have told me, but I would never approach the parent. I did not approach them when it happened to his son. I felt the school had handled it and if something else came up we would deal with it.
My son even had to go the principals office, are you kidding me! Now he doesn't want to talk about it because he thinks he did something wrong.

 

[RMulieri]

My son has not done anything else. This is actually the second time this week that he was hurt, another child hurt his hand. I fear that the behavior of the other children will wind up being his behavior also.

Not neccessarily.When my DD first started , every other day was a new bump ,bruise or bite from another child.She never picked up on the bad behaviors.When kids first learn to socialize and develop social skills in groups they can be like little barbarians, things will hopefully die down once they adjust.There are some children who will always act out and behave poorly...it is importnat to let your son know that he needs to tell the teacher if this other childs bad behavior continues.