Need advice please

[Snow White]

I haven't posted in a while, but I'm needing some advice...hopefully someone here can help a little? I found out the end of May that my DH has been having an affair. He moved out a couple of weeks later (the kids stayed with me). We were renting a house, so the kids and I had to find a new place to live too. I didn't have a job at the time, but I have found one since then. I am really struggling to get through this. My kids have been a great source of strength for me, my boys are 20, 16, and 15, but they are really disappointed in their dad. I still struggle daily as I hear things about him from other people, or see him with our old friends etc. He really pursued our friends when he left, making sure he kept their friendships, so I don't really want to be a part of that which has left me pretty lonesome. I was wondering what others that have gone through similar situations have done to get back into the "living" world and out of the "doomed" feeling that comes along with this? I am considering going to college, haven't been before (was always a stay at home mom), but a little nervous about that since Im 38. Anyway, thanks in advance, sorry for the gloomy post, but I knew this would be the place to go to get help and get cheered up.

 

[bsnyder]

Hugs to you!

Although my situation was quite a bit different from yours (I guess every situation is different!) I can tell you that there is definitely life after divorce.

I think going to college could be a great idea for you! I went back to finish my degree after my divorce (I was in my late 20's when I started back, and 31 before I finally graduated) and it was absolutely the best thing I could have done! If you have a larger university in your area, I can almost guarantee you won't be the oldest one there and will find many other "non-traditional" students!

Glad to hear your kids are being so supportive of you.

As for mutual friends, if there are any that you want to keep, I'd say don't try to make them choose sides....let them be friends with both of you. But I'd also focus on your future....making new friends, and doing things that interest you but maybe you never had time for before.

And finally (the cold reality), I hope you have found an attorney that you can trust, that will make sure your legal interests are looked out for.

Also, I wouldn't hesitate to find someone to talk to (a family therapist or clergyman) if you're feeling down. Your trust has been betrayed in a huge way, and you might need someone else to help you work through that!

And of course your friends on the DIS will be here for you....to lend an ear or give a hug!!

 

[chell]

Sorry to read this and sorry that I don't have any words of wisdom for you. But I will give you a {{{HUG}}}. Know that we are here for you. There are others here that have been through this or that are going through it now and I know they will be more than glad to talk with you. If you ever want someone to listen I'm here. Feel free to PM or e-mail me anytime!!!!!

Here's another {{{HUG}}} for you!!!!!!!!

 

[Briar Rose 7457]

that part about the friends sounds so like what happened to me.


{{hugs}} to you. you might want to consider a support group. you can find message boards gor people going through a divorce at ivillage. and I know a lot of the Y's run in-person discussion groups.

 

[Tony-NJ]

I'm so sorry for you and the boys. I can offer you HUGS!

We're here for you.

 

[holycow]

First of ((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))) to you !!!
This in itself must be so difficult but please please...DON"T let your DxH take your life away from you....GET A GOOD ATTORNEY and protect yourself and your DS's they deserve it and so do you!


Second....School is a wonderful idea! I don't know what OK. is like in terms of school but I when I started back 7 years ago I was amazed at the financial opportunies available to women! (I was in Calif. at the time) but just don't let the excuse of money being tight not to do this....Going to school will give you the confidence and the training you need to be able to make a good living for your family plus meeting great people too...

Good luck to you!

Holycow
Lisa

 

[Mad4Mickey]

I have been through some of that with my Ex Husband , sad to say . I will be sending you a Pm to kinda let you know what I did about it .

Hugs for you

 

[MerryPoppins]

No real advice for you. Just wanted to tell you that I had missed you. I'm here in Oklahoma, so if I can be a friend and offer support closer to home, I'd be glad to. Hang in there and take it day by day.

 

[Serena]

{{{hugs}}}