Need Advice: Bedwetting 4 yr old

[ash&abby'smom]

So here's the deal. DD4 has been potty trained for 2 years. I was using pullups at night, because she was still wetting them. A couple of months ago, I told her she is 4 now so the pullups at night needed to go. Well she has nights when she doesn't wet the bed, but she has enough that she does. I just don't know what else to try with her. For example: last night she had nothing to drink after 6:30. She pottied later and right before bed I made her go potty twice, but both times she didn't have to go. I really don't know what time was the last time she had pottied. Anyway at 5:30 this morning she wakes me up, she wet the bed. I just don't know what else to do, I have eliminated late drinks and make her potty. Is is that she just isn't ready to go all night? Any advice for what I can try? Honestly, I am about ready to go back to pullups, but don't want her to think its okay to pee at night. TIA.

Sharon

 

[jodifla]

So here's the deal. DD4 has been potty trained for 2 years. I was using pullups at night, because she was still wetting them. A couple of months ago, I told her she is 4 now so the pullups at night needed to go. Well she has nights when she doesn't wet the bed, but she has enough that she does. I just don't know what else to try with her. For example: last night she had nothing to drink after 6:30. She pottied later and right before bed I made her go potty twice, but both times she didn't have to go. I really don't know what time was the last time she had pottied. Anyway at 5:30 this morning she wakes me up, she wet the bed. I just don't know what else to do, I have eliminated late drinks and make her potty. Is is that she just isn't ready to go all night? Any advice for what I can try? Honestly, I am about ready to go back to pullups, but don't want her to think its okay to pee at night. TIA.

Sharon

My DS is still in pullups at 5.5. The literature at my pediatrician's office says lots of kids aren't ready until 6 or so.

 

[ash&abby'smom]

My DS is still in pullups at 5.5. The literature at my pediatrician's office says lots of kids aren't ready until 6 or so.

So have you ever tried not using them? Did you talk to your ped. about it? I guess maybe I should just go back to them and when they are dry for a consist amount of time try again. My first dd was so easy with this. Thanks.

 

[wehavesix]

Keep her in the pull ups for now and don't worry about it. 2 of them became dry at night within months of being potty trained. 1 became dry at night around age 6. 1 became dry at night around age 8. 2 became dry at night around age 10. All were perfectly normal according to their pediatricians. The 2 who were still wetting up to age 10 were genetically predisposed to that trait. The other 4 were adopted so we don't have a family history to look at for them. Even so, they all became dry all night when their bodies were ready for that. I did limit liquids after dinner to a small cupful and no more. That was more to avoid soaking the pull up to the point it would leak during the night. Getting my kids up during the night didn't help a bit to stop the bedwetting. Alarms were useless as my kids wouldn't wake up in time. Mother nature and time eventually took care of it.

 

[lclark0621]

My DS will be 4 next week. He has been day potty trained since he was 18 months. And he still wakes up wet a lot of mornings, so he still wears pull ups at night.

I am not at all worried. My DS is a hard sleeper & once his head hits that pillow, it is LIGHTS OUT until morning. Hardly anything will wake that kid.

My Ped offered the information not to worry about overnight training for "a couple of years yet".

I was not even thinking about it. It is not like they are doing it on purpose. They are asleep. Nothing can be done when you are asleep.

I have never met a grown adult who needed to wear a pull up over night. Everyone gets it eventually. So use the pull ups & dont sweat it. Your child wont go off to college in pull ups, I promise.

 

[klineyqueen]

Her body just isn't developed enough. I would put her back in pull-ups at night. All children develop differently. My DS would not even sit on the potty until 2.5. The day he decided to use the potty that was it...he was trained. He woke up dry every day for over 6 months prior to using the potty. My DD is 18 months. She is dry every single morning and sits on the potty and goes. I do not limit any drinks. They can have a whole glass before bed...and are still dry. That is not them...their bladders have developed early...so to speak.
My niece (she is double related...her dad is my cousin. Her mom is my Dh's sister...nothing wierd...totally legit)anyway she is 5 and still wears pull-ups to bed. My other niece (on the other side of the family) is 4 and wears them to bed. They are not trying to wet the bed, it is just the way their body is developing.

I am sure she is not deliberatly being lazy, she is just not able to hold it all night and such a sound sleeper that she isn't waking up. Give her time.

 

[bluejaygirl]

I doubt she wants to wet the bed. I am sure she can't help it and to say it isnt OK to pee at night is probably only going to hurt her self esteem, not make her have the ability to stay dry. I'd put her in the Pull Up and not worry about it too much..she will outgrow it when her body is ready.

 

[Merriwind]

Got to agree with the PPs. A lot of kids simply sleep far too soundly to wake up when they need the bathroom. Combine that with the much smaller bladder children have than adults and overnight accidents are really easy to understand. IMHO, you and your DD might both be much happier if you put her back in pull-ups at night until her body is ready for dry overnight. If you are concerned, a call to your ped might put your mind at ease.

Good luck and pixie dust to you and your DD!

 

[In Luv with Disney]

My DS will be 6 in October and he still has to wear a pull up every night. He has been potty trained without ANY accidents EVER since he was 2. Our pediatrician isn't worried about it yet. So until he has cause for concern, he will don that pull up every night.

 

[Cinderella2006]

Perhaps things are different in the UK but I am a nursery nurse in a school and I don’t know any of my children aged 5+ that wear pull ups to bed. I have two sons aged 9 and one just turned 3 both of which are fully potty trained and don’t wear pull ups to bed. My 9 year old was fully potty trained by 3 1/2.

Your daughter will do it when she is ready and until then it is your decision whether or not to keep using the pull ups.
My youngest son who turned 3 in May has been going to bed with no pull ups for the last month, admittedly he had one or two accidents at first but now he is completely dry.

If I had a child who was over 5 and wore potty training pants to bed, I would be slightly concerned but it sounds like the paediatrician has stated that there are no worries. It is funny how things differ from country to country.

I am sure everything will work out ok, good luck

 

[Erin1700]

We stressed about this too and it slowly stops and basically goes away. Hang in there...this too shall pass!

 

[Stephres]

When we in for our 5 year check up I mentioned that my daughter still wears pull ups to bed and wets them maybe once every two weeks. He said that was fine and we were doing the right thing. So try not to worry!

 

[twinmommy2]

I have 4 1/2 year old twins and my son has been trained at night since he was 3. My daughter on the other hand still wears pull ups at night and it is full every morning. I wouldn't stop the pull-ups at night until they are consistantly dry in the morning. That's what I did with my son. I don't think she could keep dry at night if she tried and it doesn't do wonders for their self esteem to wet the bed so often. Let her wear the pull-ups.

 

[MSSANDRA]

I agree, totaly normal ,and unlike daytime training, the child has little or no control when asleep. i would suggest that you might want to try just once, putting her to bed without the pull up and see if it makes a difference. Our Ds day and night trained together and what we did was put nothing on him at night, and he did much better than with pull-ups. However if she wants the pullups or you do not want o deal with the clean up, I would just wait till she starts being dry in the am.

 

[SueM in MN]

Here's a really good website:
www.bedwettingstore.com

Although they sell products to deal with bedwetting, they also have good, factual information about bedwetting (like, the majority of children have 'mature bladders' by age 5 and are able to be dry during the night and also when to treat or just let the child mature on their own. They suggest not to do any intervention until about 6 years old if they are not having dry nights at all because the majority of 5-6 yr olds who are dry half the time will actually mature on their own.
They also have a nice page of 'supportive therapy', which is mostly what other posters have already mentioned.

 

[5fordisney]

Hi! I feel for you but I want to put your mind at ease like so many PP that it's ok. I was a bedwetter, my brother was, and now both of my sons are (were). One son will be 5 in 2 months, the other is almost 8. My 8 yr. finally stopped at age 7. He's had one accident since then. I stopped at about my son's age. My brother was older. All the docs and specialists then and now say some kids are predisposed to it. Smaller bladders and sounder sleepers combine so that they don't feel their body cues in the night to go. They sleep right through it. I really don't believe that children enjoy wetting or having to tell their parents when it happens. They can't help it. So I don't think that telling your daughter to stop is a solution. Night wetting and day wetting are 2 completely different things. I would keep her in pull-ups and continue the potty before bed and right when she gets up. She'll eventually grow out of it, most likely by age 7 at the latest.

UK poster, I wonder if any of your bedwetting students would actually tell you that they wet their beds. I know for myself and my sons, it was a source of great embarrassment. NO ONE knew that secret. I have a close girlfriend whose son is best friends with my son and I just found out that he was a bedwetter too. We never talked about it b/c we were both protecting our sons from the "shame". We each thought our sons were the only one that old still wetting the bed.

Good luck with your daughter. A PP said my grandmother's favorite quote that she tells me monthly when I'm worried or complaining about my children. "This too shall pass"!! My thoughts are with you!

 

[TinkerbellMama]

So here's the deal. DD4 has been potty trained for 2 years. I was using pullups at night, because she was still wetting them. A couple of months ago, I told her she is 4 now so the pullups at night needed to go. Well she has nights when she doesn't wet the bed, but she has enough that she does. I just don't know what else to try with her. For example: last night she had nothing to drink after 6:30. She pottied later and right before bed I made her go potty twice, but both times she didn't have to go. I really don't know what time was the last time she had pottied. Anyway at 5:30 this morning she wakes me up, she wet the bed. I just don't know what else to do, I have eliminated late drinks and make her potty. Is is that she just isn't ready to go all night? Any advice for what I can try? Honestly, I am about ready to go back to pullups, but don't want her to think its okay to pee at night. TIA.

Sharon

I know you don't want to hear this, but some children have physiological reasons they wet the bed, and will grow out of it in time (usually between the ages of 6-12, yes, TWELVE). There are things you can do to lessen the occurrence, and it seems you are doing them, but it will probably still happen from time to time. It has absolutely nothing with her thinking it's okay to pee in the bed at night, trust me. It isn't a discipline issue and should not be treated as such. Keep her in the pullups or something similar for as long as she's comfortable with it. You can also look into some pads for the bed and show her how to strip her own sheets should she have an accident, and place them in the washer or the laundry hamper. You should avoid any type of ridicule. She can't help it. Try to be understanding and she will eventually grow out of it, I promise!
I don't know if this will make you feel any better, but I occasionally wet the bed until I was 12 years old! I was fully potty-learned with NO accidents during the day at 14 months old, but I was one of those kids whose brains wasn't yet wired to wake me when my bladder was full. I just didn't have the control I needed to stay dry every night. Fortunately, my parents sought medical help and discovered all of the stuff I've just told you, so they didn't shame me for it. They showed me how to deal with it and eventually it was no longer an issue. I know a lot of people would be embarrassed to admit it, but since it's a physiological issue, I'd rather speak out about it than pretend it never happened. Maybe that will give some other kids/parents hope that it's not forever, and it's not something they are doing wrong. Good luck!

 

[ash&abby'smom]

Thanks to everyone and your advice. I will put her back in pullups. Actually, the other day she said I don't want to wear them when we were talking about it. I'll just explain to her that we'll use them until she really doesn't need them anymore. We have a vacation coming up soon, so this will definately put my mind at ease. I figured she just must not be quite ready even though she does have some dry nights. And I have to remember not to compare what older dd did to how she does. Thanks again your input has really put my mind at ease.

 

[lclark0621]

If she doesn't want pull ups how about those Goodnights, the ones for older kids who still wet the bed. I think they look & feel more like underwear for boys & girls.

 

[Diamondintheruff]

I think the actual number of kids that still wet the bed in elementary school is a closely guarded secret. Ask around and you will find that there are many of us in the same position.

It never hurts to have your child go through some tests with your Dr. to rule out any medical cause. And of course keeping an ongoing positive conversation with your child about it is another must.

I feel your frustration. Hugs to you!