Need advice about friend.

[Twinkles6892]

My friend moved to california like 3 months ago, and I heard a rumor from a closer friend that she was smoking pot.

I asked my friend and she said that her cousin smoked pot cuz he's stupid and her aunt has a liscence for it because she has rheumatoid arthritus. She said that she tried it twice and never wants to do it again. She said after that innitial woah! you feel sooo bad, and she never wants to see it again.

I know she's drinken a small amount of vodka before, but she's a great person.

She's coming up in a couple of weeks and wants to see me, so i offered that the whole gang meet up at my house, (so we'd all be in an enviornment where we're all comfortable).

Should I ever trust her again?

 

[Microcell]

Probably not. I am not sure I would even have someone who has Marajuana in my house. Good luck!

 

[phillybeth]

Megan, I don't know how old you are, but it is not uncommon for young folks to experiment. If no one trusted YOU after you made a mistake, then no one would ever trust you. Give your friend the benefit of the doubt.

 

[Beauty]

I think you should confront her about it. If shes a true friend she will tell you and then you can talk about why she should stop!

I wouldn't want anyone who does drugs anywhere near me.

 

[chell]

She probably just needs you to be there for her right now. Don't turn your back on her because she has made some mistakes. A true friend loves and supports no matter what.

 

[HollyJoy]

Everyone deserves a second chance, and if we all were shoned for making a mistake, where would we be? I think you should talk to your friend, and yes, give her another chance. It sounds like maybe she needs a good friend.

 

[Twinkles6892]

She said she would never do it again, it made her feel horrible and she'd never do it again. I've had problems, (Not drug related or drinking or smoking)(My mother's on these boards), and she's been there for me. She has a hard home life, she's being treated for being bi-polar.

 

[KristaTX]

It kind of depends on a couple of things.

#1 Are you just sort of friends, or are you really close friends? If you mean a LOT to each other, then perhaps a second chance is called for. Maybe she's telling you the truth. If you aren't that close in the first place, then don't worry about it because you are probably going to lose touch anyway since she's moved away.

and

#2 Would you be tempted to try drugs if she offered you some?. If you aren't 100% completely certain that you would be a good influence on her rather than her being a bad influence on you, then it would probably be very wise of you to stay away.

 

[Twinkles6892]

I don't think she has the drugs either, i think she got them from her cousin.

 

[Twinkles6892]

Bump.

 

[chrissyk]

Originally posted by Twinkles6892
She said she would never do it again, it made her feel horrible and she'd never do it again. I've had problems, (Not drug related or drinking or smoking)(My mother's on these boards), and she's been there for me. She has a hard home life, she's being treated for being bi-polar.

You are not being a bad friend if you avoid someone who is using drugs. If you are 100% certain that she would never try the drugs again, then I'd say that you should give her a second chance.

Also, have you talked to your mom about it? What did she say? Does she know this friend, and does she also believe that it was an isolated incident?

 

[CarolA]

Why wouldn't you trust her?

She told you that she tried it and did not like it. Unless you have proof that she is still smoking pot then why don't you belive her? I would have been more likely not to trust her if she had told you she hadn't smoked pot.

For those of us of a certain generation we probably all have at least ONE friend who at least tried (even if they didn't inhale!)

 

[Twinkles6892]

 

[dalt01]

oh for gods sakes its just a little weed, most of you are acting like she is living in a opium den with the dregs of the earth practicing all kinds of debauchery and sin. if you had any idea how many of your middle aged friends and co workers smoked you would just have a fit

 

[Twinkles6892]

Originally posted by dalt01
oh for gods sakes its just a little weed, most of you are acting like she is living in a opium den with the dregs of the earth practicing all kinds of debauchery and sin. if you had any idea how many of your middle aged friends and co workers smoked you would just have a fit

But when your 14, it's a pretty big deal.

 

[dalt01]

no age was mentioned i assumed i was talking to and about an adult

 

[shortbun]

I 5think she deserves another chance. Your support could be
instrumental in encouraging her NOT to smoke pot again. If
your friends don't think it's cool, you usually don't do it.
Experimentation is normal although not recommended. Pot is
unhealthy to ones brain and lungs. Tell your friend it's not cool
with you if she smokes. She probably respects your opinion and
will follow your lead. Lucky to have a friend like you!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Let's put it this way...you are in Maine and she is in Ca. My guess is that you won't see her too often. I would give her the benefit of the doubt and see her.

 

[Kallison]

We are in our mid 40's and still have a friend who smokes weed. It is too funny, we are all sitting around in the hot tub and he is trying to pass a joint. My one friend is like - Uh no thanks cause I could lose my liscense to practice law. I don't know why but that cracks me up every time I think about it! Some people never grow up.

But I think it is very good of you not to want to be involved in drugs. However your friend said she didn't like it and wouldn't do it again. I had friends who did questionable things, if I didn't agree with them I just didn't do it. My one friend kept telling me I should try coke when we were in our 20's, I was like no way. Eventually she wised up too.

 

[QueenTrident]

Is your friend living with her Mom or her aunt? Maybe her Mom should know what kind of influence her Aunt and cousin are on her. Fourteen is a little young to be experimenting with alcohol and drugs, IMHO. And, if your friend is in an environment where it's encouraged, then that could be a problem in the long term for her.

I think you should continue to be her friend, as long as she isn't pressuring you to do drungs and drink. She may need to rely on you as she adapts to her new environment. I would also ask your Mom to help out and be there when your friend comes by, in case your friend wants to talk to an adult about her situation.

You could really be a positive force in you friend's life - it sounds like she might need it.

Good luck and keep us updated!