Names........

[WDWDancer]

Just wonder what all Hi,
I was just wondering what all you brides did with your last names...we are the last generation of my families name ( we were all girls so no boys to carry it on). I am thinking of hypening my last name...but I know his family is gonna freak out at this. Was just wondering what you guys did an how your DF and in-laws all took it.

Thanks,
WDWDANCER

 

[SRUAlmn]

I'm having a really hard time with this too! We are also both the last generations for our names. However, mine is 7 letters and his is a 12 letter frequently mispelled and mispronounced German name. If I use both that's a lot of letters, and borderline child abuse for our future children I am a teacher, my last name is repeated a BAJILLION times a day, so for that, I would just use my current last name. I just don't know if I want to just keep my name, use both as 2 last names, or hyphenate. I just don't want to have a different last name from my kids when we choose to have them, and I don't know how that would all work. This is actually my biggest wedding stress right now! If only he would just take my name

Can't wait to see what others suggest

 

[dmslush]

I already have changed my name to his, because he adopted my daughter last year and I wanted us all to have the same name. (I know, we do things weird LOL).

But, my best friend changed her middle name to her maiden name, and then her last name to her husbands. So now instead of a name like Susie Jane Smith-Jones, her legal name is Susie Smith Jones.

 

[dmslush]

I'm having a really hard time with this too! We are also both the last generations for our names. However, mine is 7 letters and his is a 12 letter frequently mispelled and mispronounced German name. If I use both that's a lot of letters, and borderline child abuse for our future children I am a teacher, my last name is repeated a BAJILLION times a day, so for that, I would just use my current last name. I just don't know if I want to just keep my name, use both as 2 last names, or hyphenate. I just don't want to have a different last name from my kids when we choose to have them, and I don't know how that would all work. This is actually my biggest wedding stress right now! If only he would just take my name

Can't wait to see what others suggest

Oh, I understand what you are saying too! My fiance's name that I took is 9 letters, German, and always pronounced wrong. When I introduce myself, everyone says, "Can you spell that for me?" Well, yep I can, but it doesn't sound like it is spelled LOL I would have hated for our daughter to have to learn it when she was small. She was 14 when he adopted her, and she practiced for a while before the adoption.

And for all of the 'headache' I get when I have to spell it, when people make comments about hamburger (because being German it has berger in it) all having to repeat it over and over.. every time I do, I just think about how much brighter my life has been since that name came into it. I just think about how good of a father he is, and how much love is in our home!

 

[WDWDancer]

lol...yea its my biggest stress too! I have a very funky russian/polish last name he has a WAY to normal common american last name!!! I love the uniquness of my last name but at the same time don't want to have a different name then or kids ~ I think men should take our last names!!

 

[SRUAlmn]

I think men should take our last names!!

ME TOO!!!! People always laugh when I say that, but I don't get why it's any more 'funny' than us having to take their names There are so many barbaric/old fashioned/men vs. women things in society that don't occur anymore because people think they are outdated, and I don't understand why this tradition is still upheld as being the 'kosher' thing to do.

 

[Rustyflwr3]

I decided to take my last name as my middle name and change my last name to his! I love my maiden name so I wanted to use it. Plus, I am an only child and wanted the name to live a little longer

 

[princessdisneybelle]

I am changine my last name. I love both names, but I just am alittle old fashion in that way I guess. Thank God he doesnt have a long hard name. I can understand that being difficult. Or if you have had a career using your maiden name for years.

 

[IrishCinderella]

I did not change my last name at all.

I struggled with this the entire time we were engaged. I do not have a problem with changing my name, but I do have a problem with the reason why women have to be the ones to change it. It started way back when women were a piece of property being exchanged between father and husband for a negotiated dowry. That irks me. Although I know this is not the case today, the reason for the woman's name change is now "well, that's just the way it's done". Why?

Anywho, this topic gets me riled up. I love my DH dearly, and I still might change my name sometime in the future, but for now, I just couldn't deal with the identity crisis it was causing me. After the wedding ceremony, we were introduced as "Peter & Rebecca HisLastName", but at the wedding reception we were introduced just as "Peter & Rebecca", and my placecard said "Rebecca MyLastName HisLastName". My goal was to confuse people so badly that if I do decide to change my name, no one will notice.

The one thing that sets me off terribly about this is if we had been introduced as "Mr. & Mrs. Peter HisLastName". I threatened both the minister and the DJ with non-payment in the event they did that. I at least want to have my first name, pretty please?

Clearly, I am just as attached to my identity as my DH, so I have a hard time accepting that I have to change my name just because it is tradition in today's society. I need a better reason than that.

Maybe having children will give me a better reason, who knows?

But part of being such an independent girl is accepting that this is a personal choice for each woman. I do not judge those who change their name, nor those who don't. It's such a highly personal decision, and one that I'm sure most women put a lot of thought into.

Good luck!

 

[hmgolden]

The one thing that sets me off terribly about this is if we had been introduced as "Mr. & Mrs. Peter HisLastName". I threatened both the minister and the DJ with non-payment in the event they did that. I at least want to have my first name, pretty please?

I totally agree with Rebecca on this one, and insisted we be introduced as Helen and Walter (and no last names) at the ceremony and the reception

In the end, I changed my name, but honestly its something I still stuggle with. DH and I had several long talks about it, and we were both pretty adament that our kids have OUR last name - to the point where DH was willing to change his name if I wouldn't change mine. I couldn't let him do that and endure a lifetime of teasing from his friends, so I gave in and changed my name. After 2.5 years, I've gotten mostly used to it, but it is still a little odd when I hear my name followed by his last name!

 

[DisneyFairy19]

I am struggling with that idea too... I want to keep my last name,but Df is wanting me to take his last name... I dont know we have a while before we get married.. I just hope we will figure something out... maybe I will hyphenate them..

 

[Glorydaz]

interesting debate...I've decided to take his last name but what a struggle that was for me. I was previously married for 21 years and still use his last name. Our children are now 20 & 23 and the subject of my last name is totally my choice - they say. My fiance ( his ex kept his last name) says whatever I want is fine with him! so it's been a dilemma for me. My maiden last name is a German one that everyone gets wrong! lol... however, my parents are deceased and I am an only child so I am thinking about legally changing my name to : Michelle Roessle Longueira

I think my Mom would love that if she was here.

it's a mouthful, right??!!

so how do I do this?? to legally change my name, do I have to go to an attorney? then social security?

if anyone who has done this can help, I'd be forever grateful!

Michelle

 

[Maggimus]

interesting debate...I've decided to take his last name but what a struggle that was for me. I was previously married for 21 years and still use his last name. Our children are now 20 & 23 and the subject of my last name is totally my choice - they say. My fiance ( his ex kept his last name) says whatever I want is fine with him! so it's been a dilemma for me. My maiden last name is a German one that everyone gets wrong! lol... however, my parents are deceased and I am an only child so I am thinking about legally changing my name to : Michelle Roessle Longueira

I think my Mom would love that if she was here.

it's a mouthful, right??!!

so how do I do this?? to legally change my name, do I have to go to an attorney? then social security?

if anyone who has done this can help, I'd be forever grateful!

Michelle

You just take your marriage liscense to the social security office and they will change it-- you then need to go to the DMV and change your DL. Then just notify the bank and bill companies...

thats what we did-- except we did the DMV first, then the SSO, Bank, then bill co.s. Hope this helps

 

[heatherlynn444]

i am very sentimental and my dad had two girls so we are the last. DH has a brotehr so he is not. but i would never ask him to take my last name. i guess i am just old fashioned! he never pressured me to take his last name, but i wanted to. i considered it part of our becoming one, ya know? I also chose to make my middle name my maiden name, so it is still part of me. luckily, DH has a normal last name. my poor sister wasn't so lucky! haha. my maiden name was also a normal name, so i didn't really care. so now I have both our names in my name. i didn't want to abuse my future kids and do the hyphenated thing either haha. i agree with you there! now one problem we are having is DH is a 4th, and he wants our future son to be a fifth...which i do not....the battle continues....

 

[D&R love Disney]

I kept my maiden name even though it's a mouthful with 11 letters. The biggest reason, DH's ex-wife has the same name. No way was I going to have the same name as her!

 

[WDWDancer]

now one problem we are having is DH is a 4th, and he wants our future son to be a fifth...which i do not....the battle continues....

Yep my sister is going through this problem currently! Her and I both do not see the reasoning in them having the exact same name only 4 generations down...I unfortunely will get the same argument when the time comes only mine will be ____ ____ the 4th

 

[Thumper's Tara]

Hmm...I have an interesting problem. His ex-wife and I share the same name. What I will do after we get married has me concerned...

First off, my name isn't that popular and the fact that my DF was able to find two Tara's and be interested enough to marry them both is really kind of wierd.

Then, I don't particularly trust his ex, so if we are both walking around as Tara HisLastName, I would worry about potential identify-theft issues...I know it isn't as easy as just a name, but I think it opens things up to potential issues...

Also, my career has all been with my last name, so I am not sure I want to lose any moment that I have with that at my company.

But, the whole kid issue and in-law issue way heavily too...

I have a feeling that I will hyphenate my last name to his. I may speak to an attournay before we get married to see what legal issues could come up if I were to just take his last name!

 

[Tiggerific04]

I'm keeping my last name and just adding his on. So I'll be Erin Mymiddlename Mylastname Hislastname. That's what someone on here suggested and said had worked well for her. That way I don't lose my middle name (which is my mom's maiden name) or my last name, but I'll share a last name with our kids. And I can go by either last name

 

[mermaidbride1108]

I guess I have a very weird situation too... my fiance wants to take MY last name. At first I thought this was totally strange but he does have a point -

My fiance has no relationship with his father and hasn't since he was 9 years old and will absolutely not speak to him ever again touchy subject - i jut say its his family-his decision and leave it at that.

Also, I believe his grandfather or father was adopted and that the first generation of his family was given their last name when they came over to America because his name was very, very german, so it's not even his true family name either.

Now, here's his second point - My dad had one girl, one boy, and his two sisters had all girls. Now my brother is mentally challenged and to make it simple for everyone to understand has the mental capacity of a 5 and a half year old, hyperactive, ADD and several other diagnosis(complicated because he suffered a medical malpractice when he born so his is a special case, long story,but I love my brother and I think he's the sweetest person on this earth) but basically my brother will never get married. I'm the last one to carry my last name. My father has already accepted this a long time ago.

So basically I'm the last one the carry the name and my Fiance really respects my father and says he should take my name instead. He said it seriously a couple times and all of our friends joke about it and write Mr. & Mrs. mylastname on our invites and Christmas cards and stuff. They don't do it to offend him in anyway but its just a running joke with our group of friends.

I really don't know what will actually happen in the end, I always wanted to hypernate my last name when I got married because I guess its the independant thing and I totally agree with the introducing of Mr. & Mrs his first name, His last name introduction - it's like the brides loses their indentity. Just my opinion, no offenseto anyone who does choose to be introduce like that.

So I really don't know what we will choose in the end...

however, his last name is Friend, so I'll be Mrs. Friend and will be the Friends so If I wanted to be really cheesy, we should play the Rembrandts I'll be there for you as our introduction song.

 

[Maggimus]

Isnt it amazing how much we care about our family name dying out?

Our family name will end if one of my 2 male cousins doesnt get married. One is in his 40's-- no signs of a marriage yet (has g/fs but doesnt want to be tied down)... and his brother is 30... and absolutely has no interest in dating-- he just likes being a bachelor, working, and doing his thing. So this made it really hard for me to take DH's name-- but, it was the traditional thing to do and meant a lot to DH.