My story of Adoption(Long)

[DisneyCP2002]

I've seen so many posts on this board in recent months, but until tonight I haven't felt ready to post my story. Several on this board know I am adopted but for the most part I'm probably surprising a lot of people.

I was born to a mom who was still a teen and unwed. She gave me up for adoption when I was born. My loving adoptive parents took me home when I was 3 days old.

I have always known since I was old enough to understand that I was adopted. My adoptive parents never hid that fact from me & I am grateful that they have always been honest with me. I don't think I could've gotten to where I am now had they not.

Back probably 10 years ago when finding birth parents was the biggest thing, I had considered looking for my birth parents then. I had even considered going on some of the talk shows in hopes of finding them. That never did pan out and now I can see why.

Now let's fast forward to August of 2005. I was working in a small school system about 20 minutes from my house. I at the time was working as a student teacher and there I met another student teacher and we hit it off from the start. She was several years older than me and something kept drawing me to her. One day during lunch break the two of us set off on our own. Little did I know that this one day would change the course of my life forever.

We spent our 30 minutes talking about our lives up to that point and what we were hoping to gain out of this experience. It wasn't until the drive back to school did things start falling into place. Somehow, and I'm still not sure how, the subject came up about adoption.

She came right out and told me that she had a daughter back when she was just 18. She then told me more about that little girl she gave up and I began to cry. It was like she was telling the story of my birth and everything. It all fell into place right then and there. I had to stop the car so I could explain why I was crying and we hugged and prayed. We knew God had a HUGE part in all of this and we thanked him for finally bringing us together.

We then began the process of making sure what we felt and others realized was true. It has taken us a long time but we are now finally sure. I have met my other siblings and have a wonderful stepfather. I spend at least 1 day a week with her and my stepfather and I spent Christmas with the whole family.

I know some of you may be going why are you telling us this. I wanted to share my story in case there are others out there searching or have ever wondered about their real families. I wanted to share my story in hopes of giving others hope that maybe someday they will find the person(s) they are searching for. If anyone has questions or comments please feel free to PM me or post here.

************************UPDATE 1/12/06**********************

Well it is OFFICAL as of today, I am Lee Ann's biological daughter. We got the confirmation just a while ago. I am excited but also very nervous. I will get the paperwork from her Saturday and then I am going to go back and talk to my mom again. I cannot tell you just how many emotions are running through me today, but I am very happy. God has brough us together for a reason and now we have the proof we had been waiting for.

 

[Pooh67_68]

How wonderful that you have found her and that she and her husband are so accepting of you.


(That's not always the case)

 

[Marseeya]

WOW! It sure seems like fate intervened in your case. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

I have an adoption story too, and maybe I'll come back later today and tell it to you.

 

[scubamouse]

did i read that right that the woman you work with is your biological mother? or was she a woman that had given a child up for adoption but not you? The fact that she was a few yrs older and also a studen teacher confused me if she's your bio-mother

we're in touch w/DS' birthmother and it's very clear that she cares deeply about him.

 

[nealymouse]

Dania. What an amazing story. I am a true believer in fate. Your story is just more proof to me that things are meant to be. WOW

As the mother of 3 adopted daughters my DH and I have spoken of our girls birth families from day one. We have met several birth family members and have kept an open line to our home for our girls sakes and ours.

I dont know how old you are but in todays adoption my DH and I are the real parents. We call our girls birth families just that "Birth Family".

I have been asked several times about my girls "real Mom or real Dad and I have to say it does upset me a bit. I do tell people who ask me that I am the "REAL" parent . We tell people that we love our birth moms and dads becasue they had a choice and they all choose adoption. How could we NOT LOVE the birth parents.

I am so happy that you found your birth family. My 16 yr old DD spoke a year ago about adoption and said " Its important to know my past so I can look forward to my future"

Again what a wonderful; story you have to share

 

[slo]

I am not adopted, but I wanted to tell you that you have an amazing story!!! Thank you for sharing it and I hope this story helps others.

 

[sjh801]

Hugs for you, Dania!

 

[shortbun]

I became a mother through adoption. Your story is wonderful. I'm so happy for you that you found your birth family/your family of origin and that it has been such a positive thing in your life! Someday, I will help my son do the same thing as his adoption was not open but his birth mother made it clear she would welcome him when he was ready. I will echo Nealymouse's words and say we are our son's "real" mother and father. I love that line about knowing the past to look to the future!!! Congratulations!

 

[mickeyfan2]

What a wonderful story.

 

[Nite0wl71]

Dania that was an amazing story. I am glad you have a good relationship with her and your new family.

 

[kdibattista]

I know some of you may be going why are you telling us this. I wanted to share my story in case there are others out there searching or have ever wondered about their real families. I wanted to share my story in hopes of giving others hope that maybe someday they will find the person(s) they are searching for. If anyone has questions or comments please feel free to PM me or post here.

I'm very happy that you found the answers you were looking for but that statement is really upsetting, as a soon to be adoptive mother.

 

[shortbun]

I'm very happy that you found the answers you were looking for but that statement is really upsetting, as a soon to be adoptive mother.

Don't let the OP throw you kdibattista. I'm sure she still has a real family relationship with her parents. Her post did sort of make me feel like she has cast them off as "faux" parents in a way but I'm sure that is not the case. Perhaps she will weigh in on this part of her life too. I think she only meant to celebrate her biological family's discovery in this post.

 

[siouxi31]

Congratulations to you both for finding what you need. I reconnected with my birthparents nearly 1 year ago and am so grateful that I will never wonder again about my birth family.

 

[kdibattista]

Don't let the OP throw you kdibattista. I'm sure she still has a real family relationship with her parents. Her post did sort of make me feel like she has cast them off as "faux" parents in a way but I'm sure that is not the case. Perhaps she will weigh in on this part of her life too. I think she only meant to celebrate her biological family's discovery in this post.

I do understand that I am truly happy for her. I guess I'm just really emotional about that since we are just starting the process to adopt. I've had to deal with that mentality from individuals and it just really struck me when it came from the OP as an adopted child, whether intentional or not. Does that make sense?

 

[DisMN]

I became a mother through adoption. Your story is wonderful. I'm so happy for you that you found your birth family/your family of origin and that it has been such a positive thing in your life! Someday, I will help my son do the same thing as his adoption was not open but his birth mother made it clear she would welcome him when he was ready. I will echo Nealymouse's words and say we are our son's "real" mother and father. I love that line about knowing the past to look to the future!!! Congratulations!

Neat story and let me echo the "real" part here too. I gave one up for adoption and the "real" mom and dad are the ones who raised the child I gave birth to!
Certain traits are inherited so I can believe that you might meet a blood relative through common interests or working situations......the child I gave up has similar likes, dislikes and talents as me. It was eerie finding out how much our lives echoed one anothers. I think that's pretty interesting.

 

[lynetteSC]

Neat story and let me echo the "real" part here too. I gave one up for adoption and the "real" mom and dad are the ones who raised the child I gave birth to!
Certain traits are inherited so I can believe that you might meet a blood relative through common interests or working situations......the child I gave up has similar likes, dislikes and talents as me. It was eerie finding out how much our lives echoed one anothers. I think that's pretty interesting.

WOW DisMN- How very wow of you! As an adoptive parent that means alot!Our birth family says the same about us. Our birth parents did "choose" us out of about 10 other families to raise her ds.

You have a wonderful story Dania ... we keep in pretty regular contact with our birth family. One of the parents is sometimes MIA, but we have immediate access to both birth grandparent's, so I know how to reach any or all of them at any given time!

It sounds like you are dealing with all this in a very healthly way of thinking.

 

[Meriweather]

I'm glad it worked out for you Dania....and the connection has been a postive one

 

[DisneyCP2002]

Before everyone decides to tar and feather me, I did not come here and open up about my life to have everyone give me grief for something NOT intentional. I still love & respect my adoptive(aka real) parents and will never think less of them. They raised me from infancy and have loved me and I them. I did say real because she is the person that gave birth to me, gave me life. She is the real reason I am here on this earth today. She could've not wanted me and could've gotten rid of me easily. Instead she gave me life and gave me to my real parents. I am sorry if I offended anyone but I didn't mean to do so.

Also to answer another posters question, I am 32 and my birth mom is 50. Yes she is an older adult in the student teaching field but that is because she didn't go back to school til a few years ago. Sorry that I did not make that very clear.

 

[pfishgirl]

Congrats !!!

My Dad and I are still looking for my older half sister who was put up for adoption at birth by her birth mother's parents. My Dad is her dad however he was not told about the baby or the adoption until it was too late. That was back in 1968/69 when the Father didn't have to sign away rights before an adoption..

 

[shortbun]

Before everyone decides to tar and feather me, I did not come here and open up about my life to have everyone give me grief for something NOT intentional. I still love & respect my adoptive(aka real) parents and will never think less of them. They raised me from infancy and have loved me and I them. I did say real because she is the person that gave birth to me, gave me life. She is the real reason I am here on this earth today. She could've not wanted me and could've gotten rid of me easily. Instead she gave me life and gave me to my real parents. I am sorry if I offended anyone but I didn't mean to do so.

Thanks for the added info. No one and especially not "everyone" was into tar and feathering. Lol!!! By the tone of your post, some of us (and we're all directly connected to adoption personally so we have personal input and experience) were a tad bit concerned about your parents, the ones who raised you. That's all. You did open up your life and that was courageous. Again, glad it's all been good for you!!! As to the reason you are here on earth....she IS the reason. 33 years ago, things were not as they are now. Your birth mother can fill you in. Peace.