My Redneck Wedding - NC style

[Maridw]

This past weekend I went to visit my sister because her DS was getting married. She has been complaining about the in-laws and how they are nit picking every little expense. They had a budget of $2500. Now my sister is not the easiest person to get along with, but from what I saw this weekend, the family that my nephew married in to are something else all together.

My nephew and his fiance actually got married in front to the magistrate in February. Why they didn't wait until the day before the wedding is everyone's best guess - (15 weeks pregnant). So I see the future DIL when we go to decorate the church. She says absolutely nothing to me. Her mother doesn't even introduce us. She comes by the next day and again, no introduction plus she parks herself and does absolutely nothing both days to help get things done. The night of the rehearsal dinner, she starts to complain that someone is at a table that she knows nobody. I explain that we spread people out so they could get to know others. She EXPLODES on my sister about it. They turns and says that she didn't want the rehearsal dinner at my sister's house anyway. My sister said that it wasn't her decision to make. Bride says that it wasn't my sister's choice to make either that it was her son's. WRONG - it is the groom's parents choice, since they are paying for it. My sister then told the FIL that he still owed her some money, so he stormed off and never came back. So much for the rehearsal dinner, kindof tense after that.

Wedding day. Subway sandwiches are late, bride's friend can't do it, can someone at my sister's do it? Sorry its not happening, that is your family's job, find someone. We have everything just about ready, and head to the wedding. Bride's mother comes in a dress that is black & white up top and red on the bottom, but strapless and short (really to short for her age). The bride's dress wasn't too bad, but the shoes were 6" red stilletos - best described as Stripper shoes. The minister made a couple comments that some of us felt unappropriate as they were strictly directed at the groom and not the bride too. (He was in blue jeans and flip flops). Then when it came to the kiss, he had to kiss her next to her lips, but not on them.

The father of the bride did not come to the reception, and then told his wife to make sure that any left over food came home as they had paid for it. The wedding cake was terrible. The MIL filled her plate before all the guests had arrived. The bride who insisted on a head table, never sat down near it at all. She gave away her veil and then tried to blame my sister for a box that got left at the church that had her shoes in them and the throw-away bouquet and a couple envelopes. It wasn't my sister's job, it was either the brides, or her bridesmaids or her mom's job.
My sister did pack every single thing up for the mom. Even the silk rose petals that were used to decorate the tables and the terrible wedding cake. Plus the favors and the church decorations. Any thing that the father might think that my sister might keep.

We had a good time after everyone left. Plus we did 2 shots of Fireball at the start of the reception and 1 at the end. (I want to find some of that)

Any way just a vent. Felt sorry for my sister and we don't always see eye to eye on things. I was glad that I went to help when she asked, because she doesn't has for help often.

 

[usnuzuloose]

Wow just a little shocking to say the least. May I ask how old your sister's son is? And serving subway sandwiches? I might have to think abour this one as I am kinda speechless.

 

[4nana]

I'm speechless ~ different strokes comes to mind ! May God bless their marriage and the innocent baby they're bringing into this world.

 

[Acklander]

If that's all the wedding they could afford, that's all they could afford. I wouldn't have a problem with going to a very simple wedding. I'm not going for the food or the cake, but to celebrate the love of a new couple just starting out. It sounds like many at the wedding forgot the point of it.

 

[NC State]

It sounds like a Johnston County wedding my daughter attended a few years ago.

 

[Rora]

If that's all the wedding they could afford, that's all they could afford. I wouldn't have a problem with going to a very simple wedding. I'm not going for the food or the cake, but to celebrate the love of a new couple just starting out. It sounds like many at the wedding forgot the point of it.

I agree with this entirely.

 

[scrapquitler]

If that's all the wedding they could afford, that's all they could afford. I wouldn't have a problem with going to a very simple wedding. I'm not going for the food or the cake, but to celebrate the love of a new couple just starting out. It sounds like many at the wedding forgot the point of it.

This.

It sounds to me like the bride not have been well versed in wedding etiquette, but maybe she was young or just not part of the same sort of social circles as the grooms family. Maybe she was overwhelmed and slightly embarrassed about being pregnant and having a less than her ideal wedding. So what? The wedding is about wishing the couple well and hoping that they have a happy future together.

So the bride didn't introduce herself, and her mother didn't either. There's no reason that the OP couldn't have gone up to them and introduced herself then taken the bride/her mom around and introduced them. Not everyone is socially outgoing.

My brother had what the OP would call a 'redneck' wedding. A picnic, they did it on the cheap (probably less than $1000). Everyone had a good time, nobody complained about it or ridiculed them because of it.

Personally, OP you sound like you are being very judgmental about the whole wedding. So what if the brides father wanted to keep the leftovers, so what if they ate Subway...most people couldn't tell you what they ate at any wedding they've been to anyway. Have a bit of tolerance and compassion, it sounds like the wedding wasn't exactly what the bride and groom wished and dreamed for their whole lives, but they wanted to share the happiness of getting married and starting their family with the rest of you, they at least deserve for everyone to share the happiness about that, regardless of what type of wedding they had. And some of us DO have family members that act tacky and strange, but as the bride, you can't always control the weirdos in the family tree.

 

[Jennasis]

We had a "redneck wedding- NC style"...

Cost us less than $4000. We held it on our farm...IN the barn/riding arena. We had BBQ catered by a local bbq joint (with baked beans, salad, and macaroni salad my mother made). A cake...handmade decorations. Everyone sat at long picnic tables all together. no dj or band or dancing. Just a mix tape of our favorite songs, and then my dad and uncles whipped out their guitars and jammed. It was hotter'n hell that day in August too. We had no a/c or fans but at least it was in a shaded building. Put tons of soda and beer in large troughs full of ice water along with sweet tea.

It was a ball.

OP, I hope your real beef was the in-fighting and not the wedding offerings. Some people do what they can afford. It's none of your business why the couple got married back in February and finally held the wedding now. And if it is because of a pregnancy, well that's their business too.

 

[golfgal]

I don't see that the OP was commenting on the food or the "cost" of the wedding, simply that the bride sounds like a spoiled brat that is VERY immature

 

[FredinFL]

My first wedding, the reception was in my in laws backyard. It was fun, it suited two 19 year old fools going into it with eyes wide shut. Had a great time, it was a "kegger", I even went to the liquor store in my wedding gown to go get a second keg, as all the "grownups" had left earlier and it was just my little redneck bunch still left drinking. A couple of my girls went with me, the guys were WAY too wasted to drive, lol.

Ah...good times. Probably the best day of the marriage, next to my daughter being born. Live and learn. We are still friends, should have only ever been friends, but hindsight is 20/20.

 

[LuvOrlando]

WOW, how did the groom handle all of this? Was he drunk &/or nowhere to be found? Hid bride sounds like quite the prize, I'm sure she'll make him very happy

Money has nothing to do with class or grace, the personalities involved ruined that wedding, not $

 

[luvmy3]

This past weekend I went to visit my sister because her DS was getting married. She has been complaining about the in-laws and how they are nit picking every little expense. They had a budget of $2500. Now my sister is not the easiest person to get along with, but from what I saw this weekend, the family that my nephew married in to are something else all together.

My nephew and his fiance actually got married in front to the magistrate in February. Why they didn't wait until the day before the wedding is everyone's best guess - (15 weeks pregnant). So I see the future DIL when we go to decorate the church. She says absolutely nothing to me. Her mother doesn't even introduce us. She comes by the next day and again, no introduction plus she parks herself and does absolutely nothing both days to help get things done. The night of the rehearsal dinner, she starts to complain that someone is at a table that she knows nobody. I explain that we spread people out so they could get to know others. She EXPLODES on my sister about it. They turns and says that she didn't want the rehearsal dinner at my sister's house anyway. My sister said that it wasn't her decision to make. Bride says that it wasn't my sister's choice to make either that it was her son's. WRONG - it is the groom's parents choice, since they are paying for it. My sister then told the FIL that he still owed her some money, so he stormed off and never came back. So much for the rehearsal dinner, kindof tense after that.

Wedding day. Subway sandwiches are late, bride's friend can't do it, can someone at my sister's do it? Sorry its not happening, that is your family's job, find someone. We have everything just about ready, and head to the wedding. Bride's mother comes in a dress that is black & white up top and red on the bottom, but strapless and short (really to short for her age). The bride's dress wasn't too bad, but the shoes were 6" red stilletos - best described as Stripper shoes. The minister made a couple comments that some of us felt unappropriate as they were strictly directed at the groom and not the bride too. (He was in blue jeans and flip flops). Then when it came to the kiss, he had to kiss her next to her lips, but not on them.

The father of the bride did not come to the reception, and then told his wife to make sure that any left over food came home as they had paid for it. The wedding cake was terrible. The MIL filled her plate before all the guests had arrived. The bride who insisted on a head table, never sat down near it at all. She gave away her veil and then tried to blame my sister for a box that got left at the church that had her shoes in them and the throw-away bouquet and a couple envelopes. It wasn't my sister's job, it was either the brides, or her bridesmaids or her mom's job.
My sister did pack every single thing up for the mom. Even the silk rose petals that were used to decorate the tables and the terrible wedding cake. Plus the favors and the church decorations. Any thing that the father might think that my sister might keep.

We had a good time after everyone left. Plus we did 2 shots of Fireball at the start of the reception and 1 at the end. (I want to find some of that)

Any way just a vent. Felt sorry for my sister and we don't always see eye to eye on things. I was glad that I went to help when she asked, because she doesn't has for help often.

The rule people, the rule!

OP, I can understand your need to vent about some of the bride's behavior, however your post does come across as pretty judgemental.

 

[bumbershoot]

I don't see that the OP was commenting on the food or the "cost" of the wedding, simply that the bride sounds like a spoiled brat that is VERY immature

Is she?

She's 15 weeks pregnant. When I was at that stage I was either sleeping or crying. Definitely not helping to decorate my wedding.

It's possible/probable that she and her mom expected your sister to do the introductions...seems a little bit more proper than for them to just come over to you (a person they must assume is the sister of the MOG).

As for the rehearsal dinner...my mom and stepdad kinda took a stance like your sister did for my brother's wedding, "we're paying so it must be at a place we deem OK", and if they hadn't bent at the last minute, it would have caused seriously negative feelings. They actually didn't want to contribute at all, and then just wanted to have something tiny...but ultimately OK'd a dinner at a local Mexican restaurant that turned out to be great and memorable...but like I said, if they'd done just what they wanted to do, it would have been a problem. I think that it's nice when the groom's parents (if they can contribute) take the groom and bride into consideration when having the rehearsal dinner.

Someone let the bride down and left her stuff behind! Let's go back to 15 weeks pregnant, shall we? She's sad and upset! My aunt and brand new husband took it upon themselves to leave just about ALL of the flowers from my wedding (no one took it upon themselves to take the centerpieces, and thank goodness b/c the vases were rentals!). I had packed them up after the wedding (we were the last to leave) and had taken them back to the hotel...but the next morning as we were packing to go back home, they decided there wasn't enough room, and they just tossed them. So many gorgeous dahlias... I didn't notice, just thought they were in the car and the next day when I finally did of course it was too late.

And those flowers weren't even my *possessions*, they weren't my shoes etc. Is it any wonder she was bummed? Newly married couples can't keep track of everything (some can, I'm sure, but I don't ever expect that of a new couple), they rely on their friends and family to help. She probably could have used a *hug* at that point...

Head table...yeah, it's pretty common for the couple to barely sit, sometimes barely eat at their weddings! I was bound and determined to eat and drink and be merry at my wedding, but we were exceptions, from my experience in reading wedding planning journals online. So it's not THAT surprising that she never sat at the head table...


$2500 is not a lot to get married with, you have to stretch everything. She might not have wanted Subway, but it seems that's all they could afford, and for the food to be late, that's stressful. Sounds like they needed *help*...I do hope they found *someone* to help them...

 

[PrincessSuzanne]

She sounds like a real piece of work. I felt guilty that other people (my mom and a friend) had to do some of the setting up for my wedding, because I couldn't get off work to help.

I got married in 2001, and we probably only spent about $2500 or less for our wedding and reception and it sounds like it was much nicer than what sounds like they threw together.

OP, I feel bad for your sister, hope she doesn't have to deal with them very much. Somebody needs to put that girl in her place and quick.

Suzanne

 

[MrsPete]

I don't think this is about money. Honestly, the nicest wedding I've ever attended probably cost about $2500. It was a second wedding for both individuals. It was small and was held at the groom's (and soon the bride's) middle-class home. The groom built a gazebo out back for the ceremony (looked great). The bride, who has a green thumb decorated it with potted plants and fresh flowers. They had good, casual food catered and a fabulous wedding cake (which was a gift). They had tables in the front yard and friends played music on the porch. It was great because of the friendly, casual atmosphere.

The wedding you're describing doesn't sound redneck either. Redneck means backwoods or country -- not rude. Redneck means lacking in refinement and polish -- but not being mean. I'm from the country, and although we enjoy events like pig-pickings and bonfires, we are in no way socially backwards like the girl you've described.

What I'm hearing is that the girl was just plain rude. At a guess, I'd say that she felt she had to get married since she was pregnant, and the event didn't live up to her expectations . . . but no one would give her more money, and she didn't have more time. So she was being a pain to everyone to let them all know that it wasn't up to her standards.

As an aside, I do think red shoes could be really cool with the wedding dress. Maybe it's because I'm looking for a pair of great red heels with a peek-a-boo toe. I don't know what I have to wear with them, but I want them.

 

[Belle0101]

I'd have gladly traded Subway for what we had at a reception a couple weeks back - biscuits and gravy, blue tinged scrambled eggs, pancakes, hash browns, and bacon. Sounds good except the biscuits and pancakes were well burnt, while the bacon was limp and marinating in grease. The hash browns were marinating in grease too. And best of all, it was all cold.

The MotG was acting as server so as near as we can figure, it must have all been cooked that morning, put in foil pans, covered with foil and there it sat until serving time.

A couple weeks back I was trying on clothes at Penneys at the same time a bride, her MoH and her mom were trying on dresses for the wedding. Dad was there too but not in the dressing room. They all started talking about shoes, loudly. She, the bride, was saying she wanted stilettos and if she couldn't find those then she wanted flip-flops.

Her MoH was so sweet. The bride kept saying she could pick any dress she, the MoH, wanted and the Moh kept saying how it was the bride's wedding and she would wear whatever was picked for her. She just kept saying she wanted her friend to be happy. I thought that was really nice.

 

[goofy!]

This past weekend I went to visit my sister because her DS was getting married. She has been complaining about the in-laws and how they are nit picking every little expense. They had a budget of $2500. Now my sister is not the easiest person to get along with, but from what I saw this weekend, the family that my nephew married in to are something else all together.
Think maybe the bride may have been a bit intimidated or frightened of her new MIL?


My nephew and his fiance actually got married in front to the magistrate in February. Why they didn't wait until the day before the wedding is everyone's best guess - (15 weeks pregnant). Why not? Their decision

So I see the future DIL when we go to decorate the church. She says absolutely nothing to me. Her mother doesn't even introduce us. She comes by the next day and again, no introduction actually, your sister, as the hostess, was responsible for doing all the introductions. Very rude of your sister to dis her future DIL by not introducing you to her.

plus she parks herself and does absolutely nothing both days to help get things done. She is a pregnant, hormonal BRIDE??? And I have to ask - since nobody took the bride and groom's wishes into consideration for the rehearsal dinner, were they allowed to have some say in the decorations? Or was this two mothers deciding everything? I can see her being a bit petulant and not helping if the Mothers were doing it their way

The night of the rehearsal dinner, she starts to complain that someone is at a table that she knows nobody. I explain that we spread people out so they could get to know others. She EXPLODES on my sister about it. They turns and says that she didn't want the rehearsal dinner at my sister's house anyway. My sister said that it wasn't her decision to make. Bride says that it wasn't my sister's choice to make either that it was her son's. WRONG - it is the groom's parents choice, since they are paying for it. Sounds like your sister was way too controlling and didn't take the bride and groom's wishes into account and the bride finally had it.

My sister then told the FIL that he still owed her some money, so he stormed off and never came back. So much for the rehearsal dinner, kind of tense after that. Wow! This one blows my mind. The ultimate in tackiness - discussing money in front of a group, at the rehearsal dinner. Your sister should have discussed this at a different time, alone with the father. That was the ultimate in rudeness.

Wedding day. Subway sandwiches are late, bride's friend can't do it, can someone at my sister's do it? Sorry its not happening, that is your family's job, find someone. Really, nobody could help? It is one thing to say everybody is really busy, but to refuse because it is "not your job" is spiteful and petty.

We have everything just about ready, and head to the wedding. Bride's mother comes in a dress that is black & white up top and red on the bottom, but strapless and short (really to short for her age). The bride's dress wasn't too bad, but the shoes were 6" red stilletos - best described as Stripper shoes. Ummm...stilettos are all the rage in fashion these days - did you watch any of the royal wedding coverage? Every single woman there had stilettos on.

The minister made a couple comments that some of us felt unappropriate as they were strictly directed at the groom and not the bride too. So, you didn't approve of the minister either?

(He was in blue jeans and flip flops). Then when it came to the kiss, he had to kiss her next to her lips, but not on them. Sooo. Why is this a problem???

The father of the bride did not come to the reception, and then told his wife to make sure that any left over food came home as they had paid for it. Well, your side wouldn't help with the food because it "wasn't your job", so I don't see anything wrong with them taking it home. Did your sister think she was entitled to any of it after refusing to help go get it? Or should they have just thrown the leftover food out?

The wedding cake was terrible. That was the bride's family's fault? The MIL filled her plate before all the guests had arrived. The bride who insisted on a head table, never sat down near it at all. Pretty typical of a wedding. I never even ate, I was so busy greeting guests. And we had a lavish dinner.

She gave away her veil and then tried to blame my sister for a box that got left at the church that had her shoes in them and the throw-away bouquet and a couple envelopes. It wasn't my sister's job, it was either the brides, or her bridesmaids or her mom's job.

My sister did pack every single thing up for the mom. Even the silk rose petals that were used to decorate the tables and the terrible wedding cake. Plus the favors and the church decorations. Any thing that the father might think that my sister might keep. Good for her.

We had a good time after everyone left. Plus we did 2 shots of Fireball at the start of the reception and 1 at the end. (I want to find some of that)

Any way just a vent. Felt sorry for my sister and we don't always see eye to eye on things. I was glad that I went to help when she asked, because she doesn't has for help often. I feel sorry for the bride. She has quite the job dealing with your admittedly difficult sister for the rest of her married life

Is she?

She's 15 weeks pregnant. When I was at that stage I was either sleeping or crying. Definitely not helping to decorate my wedding.

It's possible/probable that she and her mom expected your sister to do the introductions...seems a little bit more proper than for them to just come over to you (a person they must assume is the sister of the MOG).

As for the rehearsal dinner...my mom and stepdad kinda took a stance like your sister did for my brother's wedding, "we're paying so it must be at a place we deem OK", and if they hadn't bent at the last minute, it would have caused seriously negative feelings. They actually didn't want to contribute at all, and then just wanted to have something tiny...but ultimately OK'd a dinner at a local Mexican restaurant that turned out to be great and memorable...but like I said, if they'd done just what they wanted to do, it would have been a problem. I think that it's nice when the groom's parents (if they can contribute) take the groom and bride into consideration when having the rehearsal dinner.

Someone let the bride down and left her stuff behind! Let's go back to 15 weeks pregnant, shall we? She's sad and upset! My aunt and brand new husband took it upon themselves to leave just about ALL of the flowers from my wedding (no one took it upon themselves to take the centerpieces, and thank goodness b/c the vases were rentals!). I had packed them up after the wedding (we were the last to leave) and had taken them back to the hotel...but the next morning as we were packing to go back home, they decided there wasn't enough room, and they just tossed them. So many gorgeous dahlias... I didn't notice, just thought they were in the car and the next day when I finally did of course it was too late.

And those flowers weren't even my *possessions*, they weren't my shoes etc. Is it any wonder she was bummed? Newly married couples can't keep track of everything (some can, I'm sure, but I don't ever expect that of a new couple), they rely on their friends and family to help. She probably could have used a *hug* at that point...

Head table...yeah, it's pretty common for the couple to barely sit, sometimes barely eat at their weddings! I was bound and determined to eat and drink and be merry at my wedding, but we were exceptions, from my experience in reading wedding planning journals online. So it's not THAT surprising that she never sat at the head table...


$2500 is not a lot to get married with, you have to stretch everything. She might not have wanted Subway, but it seems that's all they could afford, and for the food to be late, that's stressful. Sounds like they needed *help*...I do hope they found *someone* to help them...

I think there were doses of rudeness on both sides.

I am giving a pass to a young, hormonal, bride having to deal with the OP's admittedly difficult sister.

But the OP's sister is old enough to know better.

Can't wait for the MIL stories from the bride.

 

[CurlyGirl]

Funny how the pregnancy prevented the bride from helping prepare and set up for her wedding reception but didn't prevent her from having fun on her wedding day.

 

[mhsjax]

We had a "redneck wedding- NC style"...

Cost us less than $4000. We held it on our farm...IN the barn/riding arena. We had BBQ catered by a local bbq joint (with baked beans, salad, and macaroni salad my mother made). A cake...handmade decorations. Everyone sat at long picnic tables all together. no dj or band or dancing. Just a mix tape of our favorite songs, and then my dad and uncles whipped out their guitars and jammed. It was hotter'n hell that day in August too. We had no a/c or fans but at least it was in a shaded building. Put tons of soda and beer in large troughs full of ice water along with sweet tea.

It was a ball.

OP, I hope your real beef was the in-fighting and not the wedding offerings. Some people do what they can afford. It's none of your business why the couple got married back in February and finally held the wedding now. And if it is because of a pregnancy, well that's their business too.

Sounds like fun.

I always read about the weddings in the Sunday paper. There was one a couple of years ago. The bride and groom were from very well off, older money families around here. They had the reception at the grandmothers house on the river, they served BBQ and the bride didn't like cake so they served Krispy Kreme doughnuts instead. It looked like a great time.

 

[goofy!]

Somebody recently told me they were in a wedding as a bridesmaid. They are going barefoot and their flowers are fishing poles with buckets on the ends. The buckets will be holding the flowers.

While not traditional and probably will be labeled by the judgmental as redneck, it sounds like it is going to be a heck of a fun party.