My niece's daddy's in prison...need help to make trip Xtra Special

[KatelynnsAuntie]

I didn't think I would ever talk about this on the Boards, but everyone is so supportive here and has such great advice, so here it goes...

My niece and I are going to DW in 3 1/2 weeks and I want to make it EXTRA special for her due to the fact that she hasn't had it easy...today is her 7th birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATELYNN!) and it has been exactly two years since she has seen her father (my brother and only sibling).

He has drug problems and has had legal problems since he was 12 (he is now 33) and was recently sentenced to federal prison, won't get out until Sept. 2004. She will be 8 then, and she hasn't seen him since her 5th birthday.

He wasn't raised in a bad environment, he had a stable home in a middle class neighborhood with parents who have been married 41 years yesterday (HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MOM AND DAD!)
He just went down the wrong path and never came back.

We (my parents and I) have tried to be a huge sense of support for my niece (my ex-sister-in-law is pretty unstable herself, and we have worked hard to maintain a good relationship with her so she will let us see my niece). As a result, we are all very close to my niece (thank goodness).

My brother deserves to be in jail and I want him to pay for what he did (white collar crimes, nothing violent), but it has been very hard on my niece. She talks about him constantly ("my dad used to do this with me" and "my dad used to take me here", etc.). I don't know how much she really remembers and how much of it is wishful thinking. She cries a lot because she misses him (although I don't know much she really remembers him, she may she just be missing having a father altogether. She is the only one in her class (in a small town) who comes from a broken home. It got so bad that my mom had to take down all the pictures she has of him in her home because every time my niece would see one, she'd burst into tears.

Father's Day was a nightmare this year. We went to church and in her Sunday School class they were making Father's Day cards. She burst into tears because "I can't make my daddy a card, he's in jail!" It got so bad that they had to come get me. We got her to feel better by having her make a card for Grandpa instead. Father's Day was also hard on my own dad. It's got to be hard having a kid in jail, wondering where you went wrong.

Anyway, the purpose of this LONG post (sorry about that) is not to go on and on about my family problems, but to ask for suggestions as to how to make this trip EXTRA SPECIAL for her!!! We are already doing a Norway Princess Breakfast (didn't even TRY to get into Cindy's), the Ice Cream Social at Epcot, and dinner at Chef Mickey's. I also want to get her a Guest of Honor badge. Does anyone have any suggestions for any other small things I could do to make this trip extra special for her? It may be the only big trip she takes for a long time.

Thanks for your help.

 

[JohnTBap]

I don't see why she couldn't have made a card to send to him. I guess that I am confused by your post. I think - JMHO - that she needs to work on her issues and not just get a "band-aid" in the form of a trip to the World. I know that you love her and are doing what you think is the best thing for her. I am sure that the trip will be great and bring y'all closer together. But this young lady needs to come to terms with the absence of her father.

How about having her take pics and maybe make a small scrapbook/photo album to share with him when she is able?

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the best. THANK YOU for being such a caring aunt.

 

[delswife]

Poor little kid
You sound like a super aunt! She sounds like she is in need of a lot of extra love at this time. You have a lot of great ideas so far. I think she will really enjoy her trip and it sounds like she can use the break from all this.

How about getting her some of those princess outfits to wear at the park? I know others here have talked about them, and every little girl likes to be a princess. I think those sound cute, but my 17 yr old wont wear one. (Brat)

There is also disney florist that can have a special basket made up for her with Mickey ears, autograph book and pen and a few other things in it, that could be in the room when you arrive. (I'll find the link for you)

At the end of the night at MK the castle plays music and changes colors, you could tell her its a special kiss just for her.

In the resorts they have a Mickey mouse wake up call, let her answer the phone in the morning. (I am assuming you are staying on site)

I am still thinking of other things, but right now I will go look for that link for you.

Here it is:
http://www.disneyflorist.com/produc...rce=&product_id=09-4086AA:Snack15&country_id=

 

[Dan Murphy]

A few ideas.......

Pressed pennies

Attractions and shows she might be able to be part of

Gifts of a Lifetime

KA, you indeed sound like a caring aunt. Do hope Katelynn's trip is a memory for a lifetime. One other thing, even though it is a few days after the actual day, is to get her a birthday badge at City Hall in the MK. Her whole day would be special, as you guys celebrate her birthday at the World. I do know of people who celebrate their day a few days early or late. My very best to Katelynn and you too.

 

[Tiggeroo]

I applaud you and your parents for being a great support network. My sons have a friend who has a father in prison for 12 yrs. He made a mistake in one minute of time his and others lives changed. He has repented but definitely deserves the sentence. He has 4 children aged 2, 7, 12, and 18. The only thing that has made a difference is the incredible support they get from their family, friends and church. But the mother has encouraged a good relationship with the father to continue. She takes them, even the young ones on visits. They write letters, create support packages, etc. They have also received counseling. You should enquire about help that is available, perhaps counseling.
Whatever you do in Disney it will be special, both because it's Disney and because you are taking her their.

 

[Pooh93]

You are receiving great suggestions here. Just wanted to let you know that we did the ice cream social at Epcot and my girls had a great time. I also had bought them GOH badges through Gifts of a Lifetime and they got recognized by the CM's. I even had one gentleman on the bus ride back to CBR ask me if I was somebody important because I had one on too! Laughingly, I replied, "if I was really somebody important, would I really be riding this crowded bus?" (you had to be there, but you get the gist of it) Anyways, he and the others around got a pretty big laugh out of it.

Just wanted to wish you a magical time and be sure to let us know what a great time you had when you get back.

 

[Saffron]

How about an autographed t-shirt? Get some of those special pens used for clothes, stretch the t-shirt onto one of those embroidery hoops so the characters can write neatly on the shirt. You can move the embroidary hoop around the t-shirt so the characters all have a clean place to write.

How about little dollar store type thingies hidden under her pillow each night? The Disney Store is having a huge sale now, you can pick up things for near to nothing!

This one I'm stealing from Goofyposter , but I think it's such a cool idea! How about hiding an apple in your backpack, then when you get off the Snow White ride saying, "Hey, did you see the little old lady in there that handed this to me? Do you want it?" ROTFLOL!

Ride up front with the monorail driver and get a driver's certificate.

Give her her own disposable camera to take her very own pictures.

It used to be that if you were the first in line and were the first to ride the Norway ride, you would get a certificate and a Viking hat. Maybe they still do that.

How about the Grandfloridian Tea in the afternoon - the one with Alice and the Mad Hatter (even at my age I would love to go! ) and if that's book, one of the other teas with finger sandwiches and little tarts and cakes! What a grand way to spend some down time! A REAL tea party!

Hmm. Collect something like magnets or pens or something like that from each park, hotel, place you visit?

Don't foget to get her close enough to the castle to see Tinkerbell come zooming out of it to start the fireworks! For me, that's still magical!

I'm not very creative. The best thing I can do is wish you, your niece and your family the best vacation ever! Have a wonderful, magical, safe time! Leave the world behind for the time you're there.

 

[KatelynnsAuntie]

These are such great suggestions! I can't thank you guys enough!

Interesting about the Norway ride...we will be there at 10:20 for the Princess breakfast, so who knows, maybe we can be first in line for that!

I am also loving the apple in the Snow White ride...I can just see the look on her face! And I will definately do the Mickey wake up call...and will perhaps also try to stretch her birthday a little longer!

Everything else I am writing down, from riding in the front of the monorail to putting little surprises under the pillow to pressed pennies to autographed t-shirts to giving her her own camera! All of it!

Thanks also for the encouragement...this has not been an easy road and I am looking forward to a week in paradise with her!

Regarding the counseling, I have suggested it to her mother but thus far she has poo-pooed the idea. It's hard because I'm just her aunt, not her mother so I can't force anything to happen. We also have to be careful about how we address things with her mother...she has a short fuse and gets offended easily and she can (and has in the past) not let us see Katelynn to "punish" us. We're always walking around on egg shells with her. So my parents and I, we just try to be there for Katelynn and do fun things with her when we get to see her (she lives three hours away, which makes things even more difficult.)

Anyway, thanks again for all the suggestions, you guys are the best.

And thanks gshoemate for the pm, I will definately look into that!