Ok can't answer the remote question, we just surf because we can. My friend sent me this e-mail a while ago maybe this will help explain some things.
Men's Rules
Rules! We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side. OK - we are now
going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules! (And yes,
they're all number 1.)
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down.
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think
of it that
way.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not
work, strong hints do not work, obvious hints do not work, Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar.
Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact,
all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to
act like Soap Opera guys.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done,
not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we
were going out. Get over it.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is a vegetable. We have no idea
what Mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading
ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's
wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If we're watching TV together then I'm the one with the power...but you know what, WOMEN don't abuse it! 
I only channel surf during commercials. 
