My DS13 is getting chunky...help!

[gwynne]

One more thing......
DH resents his Mom to this day for letting him be a "fat kid". She would stock the house with cookies, cakes, ice cream, etc and he could splurge all he wanted. He carried that weight with him and now that he is an adult he is a great weight for his height but he can't seem to get rid of the love handles. I'm damned if I do damned if I don't. If I get on him to cut back, it risks his self esteem, if I let it alone he resents me as an adult.

Maybe let the physician take the lead in any modification, assistance or monitoring. A lot of baggage or emotion isn't good for anyone with a potential issue such as this. Think positive.

 

[Southernmiss]

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone! However, I really don't have much hope of him "shooting up" because DH is only 5'7 and I am only 5'4. Pedi projected him to be around 5'8 at adult height. I really hope that is the case because I really don't even think he will get to be 5'8 considering how small he is now. Most of his peers have at least a foot on him That is what I am concerned about, that he will continue to grow wider instead of taller.

I wouldn't be so sure of this. Dh is only 5'2" and I'm 5'3. Our kids are 5'4 dd12 and our sons are 5'9 who are 15,16 and 19. I am sure the younger three are not finished growing. Oldest ds grew an inch or so after high school.

13 is prime growing age for boys and they all gained weight in their stomachs before having a big growth spurt.

My brothers are over 6' tall. My kids get their height from them thankfully.

As long as you are preparing healthy foods, I wouldn't worry at all.

 

[dyna]

This is a bit OT but still on track..

My Gson started into Kindergarten wearing a size 10 husky he was broader than he was tall to put it mildly. He came out of Kindergarten wearing a size 4 slim he was that short an skinny. His meds he was put on for ADHD seemed to do the weightloss trick for him.

Stay with me...

Gson is now in 2nd grade still on his meds, eating the same as he was when school started in the fall, doing the same sports, karate, basketball, baseball, soccer etc with all the seasons...never still a minute but....

has started into the early stages of puberty his mom is having to dig the to big husky pants back out.....sad thing is most of the Kindergarteners are taller than he is.

I'm hoping it's a puberty thing an that he will soon slim back down. His daddy is 5'4" and over 300 lbs there is also large peeps on our side of family. DD trys to do the healthy meals but his daddy is not onboard an keeps bring the boy what he himself eats, Big Macs, ice cream cookies candy all the bad stuff. GRRR

 

[PelletierBears]

One more thing......
DH resents his Mom to this day for letting him be a "fat kid". She would stock the house with cookies, cakes, ice cream, etc and he could splurge all he wanted. He carried that weight with him and now that he is an adult he is a great weight for his height but he can't seem to get rid of the love handles. I'm damned if I do damned if I don't. If I get on him to cut back, it risks his self esteem, if I let it alone he resents me as an adult.

First I'd like to echo what others are saying... we've all seen chubby tweens grow into average weight teens / young adults. For some people puberty is a non-issue but for others is isn't pretty! (that was me!)

Unfortunately my mom and older sister gave me a negative body image by focusing on my chubby tween weight gain and telling me to stop eating while stocking the house with pepsi, etc. One of my aunts reassured me it was just "baby weight" but my mom's and sister's voice were louder so that's all I heard at the time (and took to heart).

It sounds like you're doing the right thing by providing limited snacks at home and keeping him active. IMO keeping him active is the most important thing. My DS got quite chunky as a tween / teen but his main problem was inactivity and a late growth spurt. He's now 20 and within the last 2 years has slimmed down to an average weight and winces when he sees old pics of himself

It sounds like you're worried about his size overall (height as well as weight) so it's good he has a Dr's appointment coming up. Based on my own experience and it's lasting affects I would implore you to not make him see himself negatively. That will stay with him forever. Instead make sure there is nothing medically wrong (hormones may be off? something like that...happened to one of my nieces and she has slimmed down considerably!) and then just keep him moving and eating sensibly. He's still young so has several years to grow and settle into his adult body.

Good luck!

 

[HM]

My son got like that too. Then he got a growth spurt and you'd never know he'd had that extra belly fat.

 

[mom2rtk]

One more thing......
DH resents his Mom to this day for letting him be a "fat kid". She would stock the house with cookies, cakes, ice cream, etc and he could splurge all he wanted. He carried that weight with him and now that he is an adult he is a great weight for his height but he can't seem to get rid of the love handles. I'm damned if I do damned if I don't. If I get on him to cut back, it risks his self esteem, if I let it alone he resents me as an adult.

It's really unfortunate that your MIL did instill better eating habits on her son. But the truth is that any "love handles" he has now are all on him.

Maybe he could join a gym with your son? I think it helps immensely to have someone to do that with.

 

[luvgoing2disney]

I did the same thing by gaining some weight but then as puberty hit, I began to grow a lot taller and lost a lot of weight, even though I was eating whatever I wanted to. When I graduated from HS, i was almost 6' and 122 lbs. A stick!

But do talk with the doctor privately if possible. If he knows what you are up to and the doctor makes some recommendations, he may resent it and not do as suggested.

 

[Waiting2goback]

I agree to have the doctor check him out. It could be a thyroid issue or some other medical thing. Although I doubt it. When I was 13 I can't tell you how much I used to eat. Now, I played soccer then so I didn't get "chunky". But, I once ate 2 large pizzas in one sitting. I ate A LOT.

As far as what YOU can do to help. He will need to eat. But, try to avoid buying things with high fructose corn syrup in them. You'd be surprised what it's in if you haven't looked. Breads, salad dressings, obviously soda, juices, snacks, etc... From everything I have read about it, your body can break it down, it has to turn it to fat first. Same goes for "partially hydrogenated oils".

Try to get him to drink water.

Buy things with more fiber in them and feed him more protien if possible. This makes you feel full longer and keeps the blood sugar more level.

Stay away from the "white menace". This is any food with white flour, white rice, etc... These foods, along with sugary foods, cause spikes in your blood sugar and when the blood sugar comes back down you eat, even if it is only an hour or 2 later. Read the book "Ultrametabolism" by Dr. Mark Hyman. It explains it all. I have read it several times.

Also, try not to let him eat at least 3 hours before going to bed. (Also explained in the book).

You could make a difference without saying a word if you just buy some different foods. I buy only whole wheat bread. The kids hated it at first because they were used to the white menace bread. Now they only eat whole wheat bread and if they have a piece of white bread at a friend's house they don't like it.

Those are just some ideas that hopefully can help, on top of his doctor's opinion as well.

 

[lauradis]

Maybe his dad can teach him to weight lift or do some manly things, that build muscle?

I would watch what you say about the over eating and food issues.
Forbidden fruit always taste better.

 

[minkydog]

This is what I remember. Both of my boys went through a chunky period in middle school. I know middle DS and a friend use to laugh at what chubs they use to be in middle school.

My boys both got their height after HS. Their dad was the same way. He was 5ft 6 when he got his drivers license and was 6ft 4 when we got married!

Both of my boys really thinned out when they got their height. Now middle DS is also 6ft 4 and wears a 30x36 pant, not an easy find!

I would make sure to serve him healthy meals, make sure you have healthy snacks available and keep him active this summer. Make sure he has lots of outside time! That way you can keep him healthy and not worry about making his weight an issue. Boys can also have eating disorders. Our dr is very concerned about eating disorders in teens, so we have always been careful when talking about weight.

Both of my boys did this, too. They were decidedly chubby for about 18 months. DS27 played church league basketball and rode his bike everywhere, but he was just a short guy when he started high school. He didn't finish growing until he hit 6'1" at age 22. Christian was a little porky all through middle school, but his growth has been steady and he's a big walker. He's 6'2" at 19 now and shows no signs of stopping. Both boys have normal BMIs; in fact, we make sure that Christian gets high-cal snacks because he has such a high metabolism now.

Your son's tastes have pretty much crystalized at this age. It may be hard to change things now. You probably can't police what he eats at school or away at friends' houses, but you can take steps to institute healthy changes at home. Offer vegetables he can try--cooked or raw, whichever seems to not give him itchy mouth. Honestly, I hate raw vegetables and if my mom was offering that, I would just not eat veggies. Don't keep junk in the house AT ALL. If you or your husband just has to have a coke or some chips, take yourself to the store and buy it but don't bring it home and expect your son to refrain from eating it. Offer him lots of water, but no juice--waaaay too much sugar. Don't let him drink his calories! Limit the white starches and increase the healthy proteins. Rather than trying to get him to lose weight, help him maintain where he is. Eventually he will hit his growth spurt and the extra plumpness will just about melt off.

Encourage moderate exercise and limit electronics to no more than 1 hour per day. This includes video games and computer usage. Even better, get into the habit yourselves and invite him along. Find something he really enjoys. If you have a dog, check out agility training--it requires a lot of running on your part and it's a lot of fun for teens.

At all costs you have to take the pressure off weight loss. Be very matter of fact about the diet changes. "We're all getting healthy" is way better than "We want to help you lose weight." Because all he's hearing right now is "You're fat."

 

[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

I can always tell when my DD is about to have a growth spurt, she grows out, then up. I'd talk with your pediatrician when he has his appointment, and budget for a whole bunch of new clothes in the next 3 months, because it sounds like he's going to need them!

 

[burnurcomputer]

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone! However, I really don't have much hope of him "shooting up" because DH is only 5'7 and I am only 5'4. Pedi projected him to be around 5'8 at adult height. I really hope that is the case because I really don't even think he will get to be 5'8 considering how small he is now. Most of his peers have at least a foot on him That is what I am concerned about, that he will continue to grow wider instead of taller.

Hi! Its seems like we have similar sons, lol! My 2nd son has always been in the 5% for h/w too. He is projected to be 5-4 to 5-7. He was your sons size in clothing last year and is now wearing a 30 to 32 waist (depending on the brand). He will be 14 in May!

My son also had tingling in his mouth with some veg ( carrots, broccoli, apples, etc) and would get blisters on the inside of his mouth upon occasion. Turn out he is allergic! You might want to get that checked out, just in case.

Growing boys need calories, just keep them the way you are. Healthy calories and lots of milk!

 

[karenbaco]

Hi! Its seems like we have similar sons, lol! My 2nd son has always been in the 5% for h/w too. He is projected to be 5-4 to 5-7. He was your sons size in clothing last year and is now wearing a 30 to 32 waist (depending on the brand). He will be 14 in May!

My son also had tingling in his mouth with some veg ( carrots, broccoli, apples, etc) and would get blisters on the inside of his mouth upon occasion. Turn out he is allergic! You might want to get that checked out, just in case.

Growing boys need calories, just keep them the way you are. Healthy calories and lots of milk!

Yes the itchy mouth from raw fruits and veggies is due to cross contamination from pollen. He is allergic to pollen, trees, grass, etc. so it makes sense. I have bought him the baby fruits in a jar and he seems to do fine with those He also likes fruit smoothies but he does get itchy from those too.

 

[Colleen27]

The best thing you can do is start cooking healthier meals as a family.

I would not nag him endlessly about how much he eats. Instead I would start slowly introducing new foods and teach him how to cook healthy meals for himself. If he likes nuggets and pizzas, try to find homemade versions that are healthier than processed options.

I wouldn't pressure him about it, he will just start sneaking food. He's active, he plays sports, and he may very well just be gearing up for a big growth spurt, too.

This. Some ups and downs are normal through puberty. DS16 always got chunky before shooting up another 4" and outgrowing all his shoes. Focus on healthy habits - encouraging better food choices and lots of activity - rather than on weight or weight loss. There are some easy substitutions that can make a difference - shake & bake chicken instead of fried nuggets or homemade pizza with low-fat cheese and turkey bacon/sausage/pepperoni instead of the greasy store-bought kinds, for starters.

I would, however, see a doctor about the itchy mouth thing to figure out exactly what the issue is. DH has life-threatening fish allergy that started out that way - he'd get and itchy mouth and throat when he ate fish. That went on through much of his childhood so he just started avoiding fish. Then he had some one day when he was in his late teens, just because it was ready and he was too hungry to fix himself something else, and had a full blown anaphylactic reaction that almost killed him. Better to identify any allergens now than risk a more serious reaction later.

 

[Colleen27]

I wouldn't be so sure of this. Dh is only 5'2" and I'm 5'3. Our kids are 5'4 dd12 and our sons are 5'9 who are 15,16 and 19. I am sure the younger three are not finished growing. Oldest ds grew an inch or so after high school.

I was going to say the same thing. I'm 5'7" and my ex is 5'8"... Our son is 6'1" at 16 and still growing. My ex's uncles are both tall, over 6', and I guess DS takes after them because there isn't a 6' tall man anywhere on my family tree.

 

[lizabu]

I was going to say the same thing. I'm 5'7" and my ex is 5'8"... Our son is 6'1" at 16 and still growing. My ex's uncles are both tall, over 6', and I guess DS takes after them because there isn't a 6' tall man anywhere on my family tree.

My kids are all now taller than me and their Dad

 

[mumto3girls]

Add me to the list of moms that will say that my kids always chub up before a growth spurt. Your son may end up being short based on your family history, but it is likely that he hasn't hit his "big" growth spurt yet and is gearing up to do just that and will be thinning out shortly. I've also noticed it in some of the neighbor kids. That doesn't mean that you should let up on good nutrition though and I would frame it that way--family eating healthier.

 

[ronandannette]

He may be thicker than before, but is he really in an unhealthy weight range?
A size 12/14 husky for a 13yo boy doesn't sound out of bounds for a healthy/normal weight range. My son is 14, short and thin. He wears 12/14 regulars. If he's active, I'd bet he's gearing up for a growth spurt.

See what the doctor thinks when you go, and go from there.

As far as the fruits and veggies go, does he complain when they are cooked or just raw? Just wondering because oral allergies can cause what he is describing and cooking the food can eliminate the problem. Just a thought.

Either way, just provide healthy meal options and keep him active. Unless he's eating huge bowlfuls of the cereal or tons of chips, I would avoid commenting on his meal sizes.

Good luck.

My DS was tiny, tiny, tiny all through childhood. He didn't start filling out until about 15 which was the point he began to outgrow children's clothes sizes. It actually took me off-guard after him being so little for so long but as it turns out, 110 - 120 for a 5' boy of that age and a 28" waist is not abnormal. As for the huge vats of cereal...can anybody tell me how to stop that?

Thanks for the encouraging words everyone! However, I really don't have much hope of him "shooting up" because DH is only 5'7 and I am only 5'4. Pedi projected him to be around 5'8 at adult height. I really hope that is the case because I really don't even think he will get to be 5'8 considering how small he is now. Most of his peers have at least a foot on him That is what I am concerned about, that he will continue to grow wider instead of taller.

This is still the case for my DS (17) but at least now he's finally taller than some of the girls! And his weight has stabilized at around 130 at 5'2". It seems his body type is naturally stocky and short-legged (like me). We still have hope for a growth spurt but if it occurs it's likely his height will all end up in the torso (like his Dad, who grew to 6'1" the summer after high school).

 

[karenbaco]

I would, however, see a doctor about the itchy mouth thing to figure out exactly what the issue is. DH has life-threatening fish allergy that started out that way - he'd get and itchy mouth and throat when he ate fish. That went on through much of his childhood so he just started avoiding fish. Then he had some one day when he was in his late teens, just because it was ready and he was too hungry to fix himself something else, and had a full blown anaphylactic reaction that almost killed him. Better to identify any allergens now than risk a more serious reaction later.

Already did the allergy testing. It's definitely from a pollen allergy. I had the same issue when I was a kid.

 

[Waiting2goback]

Already did the allergy testing. It's definitely from a pollen allergy. I had the same issue when I was a kid.

My future ex-wife has this as well. For her it started in college when I met her. It's called Oral Allergy Syndrome I believe. My son has something similar. His condition is called Eosinophillic Esophagitis (? spelling). If he eats foods he's allergic to the white blood cells in throat react and his throat closes. He actually used to choke on liquids when he was a baby believe it or not because we didn't know any of this. (That wasn't scary at all!

I share this because he now is able to take a steriod (flovent) and he swallows it and it coats his throat. Now he can eat everything but milk, eggs, and peanuts. He is actually allergic to over 20 foods but this fixed it.

So, it might be something worth asking your doctor, or the kid's doctors about. It may not work for the Oral Allergy issue but it might be worth a chance. It doesn't taste bad and it is no work. He runs to take it because it makes him feel better and he has been taking it since he was 3 and he'll be 5 soon.