My child support ends in a couple of Weeks

[mickeyboat]

Shugardrawers (I feel naughty typing your name) -

I really have to commend you for your posts on this thread. It is so nice to hear of someone (especially an ex-wife) who has such a great attitude about something that is so difficult. Your DD will appreciate it forever.

Denae

 

[Shugardrawers]

Shugardrawers (I feel naughty typing your name) -

I really have to commend you for your posts on this thread. It is so nice to hear of someone (especially an ex-wife) who has such a great attitude about something that is so difficult. Your DD will appreciate it forever.

Denae

Just want to clarify that I'm not the ex wife in this situation. I'm the current wife. We pay child support to DH's ex wife. I'm sure I confuse some people when I call her my DD. It is my belief that when you marry a person with a child you become that child's parent. I didn't "replace" her mother and I certainly take a secondary role in all this but she's my child just the same. I guess I feel that way because when my mother married my dad (who's not my bio father) he told us that he would treat us as his own and would support us as his own. Nothing bad can come from a child having even more parents to love and support them. I may not have given birth to her but I love and care for her just as if I did. It's a package deal. You don't get the spouse without the child.

 

[Cruise04]

I applaud those that are the stepparent and want to help the child with the support they need. There are very few parents that do that.

I am to receive $50 a week. Just in the last 4 months I started receiving child support again because I went after him with the state that has a child support enforcement. It's being taken out of his check. He owed me over $2000 and it appears that they also got ahold of his income tax refunds, which made me happy but didn't cover it all. I am also in a situation that I have 2 1/2 years until support is done - expires on my dd's birthday (don't know if he'll catch that or not, we'll see when the time comes). He doesn't call to see her, doesn't call to check and see how she's doing unless he has found out that his mom or sister saw her (they have asked to keep seeing her even if he doesn't call to take her and I let them have one weekend a month if it works out with dd's schedule - I feel that's important for her to have ties to her family) then he calls and reams dd out for not letting him know she was going to be there. I have finally, because once I would get comfortable with the support, it would stop coming and I got to dependent on it, at a point where I don't have to depend on it so it won't be that big of a shock when it stops.

I'm in a similar situation as LindaR - my daughter and I have an awesome relationship and I tremendously grateful for that. She is at a point that she doesn't care if she sees her dad or not and that is her words and her choice, not mine. I've always been very open to my dd. I feel bad that she doesn't have a great relationship with her dad because I didn't have a great one with my dad. But that's her decision as she has seen how he has treated her and how he regards her (the final straw was when he called her and told her that he didn't take her for his weekend because he forgot about her - yes he actually told her he forgot about her because his new family had things going on) and she shouldn't have to take the treatment like that.

As far as it covering the expenses - it doesn't even hit it. BUT - I would love to be able to have $100 a month to spend on clothes. My CS only covers the meds that he is also suppose to pay half for on top of the CS but doesn't ($28 a month and now they are increasing again); and the other $172 goes toward food for school lunches and toward tuition but hardly touches it (but that is my choice).

 

[summerrluvv]

I think this topic tends to bring out ugliness in second wives.
May I point out that your husband apparently saw fit to love and sleep with this woman in the past, so she must have some redeeming virtue somewhere, and it might behoove you to look for it.
D

I agree. I have seen so many second wives (not on this board particularly) rant about how it's not fair that their husbands have to pay child support while their own children have "nothing." They tend to think these ex wives are living the high life, which usually isn't the case. Heck, my stepmonster used to complain about my mother and the whopping $25.00 a week they paid to her while she was a waitress trying to support three kids

 

[mickeyboat]

Just want to clarify that I'm not the ex wife in this situation. I'm the current wife. We pay child support to DH's ex wife. I'm sure I confuse some people when I call her my DD.

Shugar - I did realize you were the current wife, I am just a bozo typist sometimes.

Denae

 

[meandtheguys2]

I agree. I have seen so many second wives (not on this board particularly) rant about how it's not fair that their husbands have to pay child support while their own children have "nothing." They tend to think these ex wives are living the high life, which usually isn't the case. Heck, my stepmonster used to complain about my mother and the whopping $25.00 a week they paid to her while she was a waitress trying to support three kids

Our mom's must have had the same judge and possibly the same step monster! $25 a week, and she made my mom get quotes from the dentist before she would pay the bill. Dad totally dropped the ball, NTS. My mom just wound up paying for everything, being a nurse who put my dad thru med school!

 

[SeaShelley]

I think this topic tends to bring out ugliness in second wives.
May I point out that your husband apparently saw fit to love and sleep with this woman in the past, so she must have some redeeming virtue somewhere, and it might behoove you to look for it.
D

You may point out whatever you'd like, but redeeming virtues have absolutely nothing to do with support. It's a moral and legal obligation that we have never strayed from.

Our family situation is a bit different than most. DH and DD's mom were never married. They called off their wedding only to discover, days later, that she was pregnant. It did not change the way they felt about getting married. Fast forward to now. DD is a beautiful, well-rounded 16 yo, with more love and support than she probably knows what to do with. Our families all get along well and are involved in every aspect of DD's life. Heck, I even performed the wedding cermony for DD's Mom and husband.

I agree with Shugardrawers. I knew when I married DH that he was a package deal. Yes, she is my daughter. In the infamous words of Carol Brady "the only steps in this house are the ones that lead upstairs to your bedroom". And to our son, she is his sister, not half sister. IMO you don't measure people in fractions!

So, when it comes to the support check and when it will end has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with how my DH or I feel about DD's Mom.

 

[Dislifer]

My X owes about $5,000 in support for OUR 2 children. He shares NO responsiblility for them, barely comes to visit them, never has brought them to a doctor appt, done homwork with them, stayed home from work when they are sick, this past year did not even give them Christmas or birthday presents. He claims he loves them, but know I see, he doesn't truly know what love is.
If I could afford it I would say WHO NEEDS HIS $$$. But I presently do!!! SO...I have to spend $ to get a lawyer to take his lazy, loser butt to court!!! That just doesn't seem fair.
I recently talked to him and he said he no longer has a job...he is a good one for getting jobs jobs under the table. I still say: What goes around comes around!!! My friend told me as long as he is not ill or in jail, the judge is going to make him get a job. Lets hope!!!! I can't keep doing this on my own!!!
I do the best I can with my kids and love them, love them, love them...so at least they are getting that from me!!!