My brother's girlfriend committed suicide

[Handbag Lady]

How horribly shocking. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

[lizandjason]

Thanks again, especially for the info about support groups. Adam (DB) is doing as well as can be expected. One day at a time.

 

[zurgswife]

I'm sorry for your brothers loss...

What most people don't realize that after hospitalizations people with mental illness can be most at risk for a suicide attempt. I would make sure that you just make sure your brother knows your there and find support groups for him to attend as that can do a lot of good for him.

 

[Imzadi]

I am so sorry for you & your DB's loss.

 

[goofinoff]

 

[Friend of a Mouse]

I am so sorry for your DB loss. The best thing you can do is what you are already doing. Be there for him. Listen if he needs to talk. Do you think he might need counseling? If so gently push him towards that. Living with someone that is bipolar is very hard and he might need some counseling. My sis is bipolar so I know how hard all of this must be.

I would definitely second counseling, particularly if the note mentioned him in any way. There can be a lot of survivor's guilt with suicide. I would also look into a grief support group, whether it's suicide or just "general" grief support. Is he a Christian or church goer? A lot of church's have special ministries for people who are going through rough times. My mother in law does the one at her church and in hers they offer a support and prayer. Other churches I knwo of have counseling and groups that may be free of charge. They might also be able to point him in the direction of specific resources.

I will be praying for your brother.

 

[SeaSpray]

We're all in shock. Eliza was beautiful, accomplished, and as sweet as can be.
We just found out she was bipolar and had just gotten out of the hospital. She sounded fine on the phone when she talked to my DB today, and then she was found dead with a 'goodbye' note.

My DB is distraught. They shared an apartment and had been together 3 years.

I don't know what to do for him other than 'be there' but he lives in Chicago, we're in Ohio. He's with us at home right now but I will worry about him constantly when he goes back. Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated. I'm so sad for my poor DB I can't stand it.

I am so sorry for Eliza, her family, your DB, and you. You've gotten good advice here. Mental illness still is so often misunderstood, and is obviously excruciatingly painful for the person who is suffering from it, but also their loved ones.

I dont know what the note said but I would be sure to stress to your brother that if she wanted to do this there was nothing he could have done. Alot of times survivors feel they should have known, or seen something or done something and from someone who lost a brother 15 years ago to suicide you have to realize the person must have been psychologically ill (even for just that moment) to do something like that. We cant always know everything about someone and how they really feel deep inside, especially with bipolar involved such as with his girlfriend.

First of all, let me express my deepest sympathy.

I am a suicide survivor. I don't like to post much about it on a public forum, but if you need advice about anything, specific questions, anything at all, please don't hesitate to send me a PM. If my experience can help in any way, just let me know.

Remind your brother that he is not alone.

I am so sorry for your loss and for your DBs loss and Eliza's family too.

One of my brothers committed suicide a year ago this past November, and he too had suffered with mental illness his entire adult life. The aftermath is very difficult to deal with, and I agree with a previous poster who mentioned support groups for the family to help your DH and anyone who is affected. There is so much pain, confusion, anger and sadness when someone commits suicide. A support group really helps you work through all of the emotions.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I'm so sorry. You and your family are not alone. In fact my family is dealing with this right now as recently we had a family member commit suicide. Death is bad enough, but suicide, horrible. Prayers to your DB, your family and Eliza's family.

1st off, I am sorry......
My DD just lost her BF of 3 years, it happen in March, he actually died of an asthma attack. It has been a rough year and it will be, all the 1st are very hard, he past away on the 3rd, so the 3rd of every month is hard, he died on a Thursday, so Thursday's continue to suck, they declared him dead at 12:11 pm, so another hard time.

Just be there, try to talk to him as much as possible, grief counceling is a big help. There is a big defference in reg counceling and grief counceling, they are trained on what to say and what not to say. People will say horrible things thinking it will help, try to explain that to your brother.

We got tired of hearing "You will find someone else" sorry my DD is not crying because she thinks she will be alone for the rest of her life, she is crying because she lost someone that she loved very much. Calling a stage may also be hard, or saying he will move on may be hurtful and not comforting.

Just being there to listen, give hugs or just sitting by his side is what is helpful. They next year will be a hard one, people heal all very different, it may take a few months, or a few years.
Odd enough my daughter is handeling it better then I am right now, I loved him like a son, Christmas was hard on me

Sorry I didn't have to much to offer, but hope this helps.......

 

[focusondisney]

I am so sorry. A coworker/ friend's DH commited suicide just 3 months ago. As you said, it is 1 day at a time for the survivors. Many are walking on eggshells around her. But I have found a hug & just letting her talk & ramble when she needs to are helpful. Prayers for Eliza, (may she finally be at peace, your DB & both of their families.