My boys want to quit Tae Kwon Do! **More Info**

[Mickey Fliers]

Okay, a little background. My 2 DSs have been taking TKD for the past 4 years. They are now 9 and 7. In that time, we had to move and so for the past year, they have been at a new Do Jang (TKD school). My oldest is one belt away from his black belt and he just told me that he doesn't feel ready to test and that TKD isn't "in his heart" (his words).

I do understand where they are coming from and I would never force them to do something they don't want to do, but I don't want them to just give up either. Their new "Master" is someone that I am just not that fond of. I think he plays favorites and has unrealistic expectations. There are no other schools within 40 miles of here.

So what do I do? Do I let them take a break from TKD and let them try some other winter sports? They also play soccer and baseball. In the past they have wanted to run cross country and play basketball, but it always interferred with TKD. I just feel that my oldest DS is so close to his black belt to give up now.

Maybe I care about it more than they do?

Just some advice would be great.

Thanks for reading and sorry so long!

 

[belle_of_the_ball]

if its really not in his heart and he said it like that...then either hes a genius at knowing what to say or he really doesnt like TKD. I think the latter...but i dont know your DS.....if youre not fond of the master, then you might want to add that in. If hes so close, have him try for black belt, if he doesnt get it ok....but getting it may motivate him to stick with it.

 

[N.Bailey]

I wouldn't hesitate taking my children out of the class. Being young is about trying as many things as your children want and moving on when they find out it's of no interest to them. This is how they try different things and learn where their own passions may lie. I do force my children to complete a whole season if they sign up for a certain sport (I think allowing them to quit is unfair to the team), but I don't make them sign up again the following year.

It's a no brainer for me.

 

[bananiem]

I don't see it as your sons "giving up". They've been doing it for half their lives!!! They don't want to do it anymore, I wouldn't sign them up. Save the money or sign up for the winter sports they've wanted to do but couldn't because it "interfered with TKD."

 

[Narnian_Princess]

If he's so close to his black belt... I'm not sure what you should do. He may regret the fact that he didn't stick it through later.

But... if they don't like it anymore, then I'm not sure if you should push it. Especially if the instructor is being a jerk and playing favorites; that should NEVER happen.

On further thought, is DS's hesitation to go through with the black belt possibly a result of fear? Fear of failure, fear of the actual test, etc? I am one belt away from black belt myself and I'm scared to death of the test (and it's not until early next year!). I can certainly see how if it's scary for an adult it can be triple-scary for a young kid. Try to get to the bottom of this. If it turns out to be fear, make him push through it. He'll be a better person for it. If it's just plain boredom, maybe a break is in order.

 

[momof2inPA]

I would tell him that when he gets his black belt he can quit, but I'm mean like that.

 

[Tinijocaro]

They just may find that once they quit and have some time away, that they miss it. They could always rejoin, and then it would be their choosing. I had a violin student quit last summer, and he really found he missed it and is now back to taking lessons.

 

[Disney Crazy Family]

They simply have grown up and want to move on to something else
ask them what they would like to do? They may not want to do
anything, ask, then ask again a couple of months from now, They are
probably tired of it after 4 years.

 

[*Fantasia*]

If they want to quit and not in his heart anymore, then I would let them quit. I would give them a break and see if he wants to come back later in time when and if he will be ready again.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I think the comment about him not being ready is probably true and I would listen to that.

 

[Disney MAINEiac]

Sounds like your child knows more than the Sensei. Both my sons take lessons and nobody at their dojo progresses at that rate. i wouldn't be surprised if your son is absolutely right and he isn't ready for that blackbelt

 

[hdecker]

DD15 is in her 5th year of TKD. She started with an instructor who after 4-5 months moved the school 30 miles away. We have 4 other schools here in our town and she tried each of them and wasn't happy. We thought she was just being picky and really not trying to get along at the new schools. After a few months she convinced us to take her to her old instructors new school - her passion returned literally overnite. She is now a 2nd degree black belt, an asst instructor, co-captain of the demo team and just qualified for the Nationals. There really is a bond formed between the student and a good instructor. We think it's worth the drive 3 nights a week to see her come as far as she has. If we had of pushed her to stay local - she wouldn't have put any effort in it at all and would have given it up by now.
Find an instructor they can bond with - it'll make all the difference.

 

[snowwite]

I am going through this w/my DS. He earned his junior black belt in Tae Kwon Do and had two more stripes left to earn his full black and a certificate from Korea. I already paid and it is non refundable. He ended up being so fresh to the master that he got put suspended for a gew days. The instructor felt he was "trying" to get thrown out so he could quit.He wont go back. I am upset that he wants to give up. Now I found out why. He likes forms,loves weapons but hates sparring. He gets clobbered which is understandably not fun. He said he wants to take a break and might want go back later. I have decided not to push it and the school said he can come back just a few nights a week once he is ready.Maybe your kids just need a break too.

 

[MushyMushy]

How much would it set him back if he dropped out now? I mean, if he takes a break for a long while, would he still be able to go back at the rank he's at now and then test for his black belt when he's ready?

I usually make my kids stick with something they started for a whole season, but in your case, I'd definitely let him quit if he's tired of it.

 

[donnajon]

My DS9 got his black belt in karate about six months ago. A few years ago I started having issues with him not wanting to go to karate. He was fine while he was there, he just didn't want to stop what he was doing to go. His instructor told me, "If he is having fun while he is here, make him come. If he is not having fun while he is here, it is time for him to stop." I think that was wise advise.

 

[chris1gill]

I think my son went through this for a short time... We encouraged him to just go once a week & we went to various tournaments that he could compete in. He really likes the competitions & as long as we let him go to the one's that are somewhat close by, he's happy. As the ultimate reward he was able to go to the TKD tournament at Disney this past weekend... he placed Third in sparring, we are all so proud.... but it's not the fact that he placed, it's that he stuck with it, and he's had some fun... so make TKD rewarding for him... just going to classes all the time isn't that rewarding, it's when you get out there to the competitions, and meet others that it really becomes what it was meant to be.

If it's any consolation, once we got over this hurdle you are experiencing, it was like we'd started new & now he talks about his second, third and fourth degree black belts

 

[mom2boys]

I would tell him that when he gets his black belt he can quit, but I'm mean like that.

That's what we'd do to our kids too. One belt away from black belt is too close to quit. He's come too far. At 9 he doesn't fully comprehend what an accomplishment that.

 

[Narnian_Princess]

As the ultimate reward he was able to go to the TKD tournament at Disney this past weekend...

Wow, there was one there this past weekend? I went to the US Open, but I didn't know that other tournaments were held there!

 

[OceanAnnie]

DD15 is in her 5th year of TKD. She started with an instructor who after 4-5 months moved the school 30 miles away. We have 4 other schools here in our town and she tried each of them and wasn't happy. We thought she was just being picky and really not trying to get along at the new schools. After a few months she convinced us to take her to her old instructors new school - her passion returned literally overnite. She is now a 2nd degree black belt, an asst instructor, co-captain of the demo team and just qualified for the Nationals. There really is a bond formed between the student and a good instructor. We think it's worth the drive 3 nights a week to see her come as far as she has. If we had of pushed her to stay local - she wouldn't have put any effort in it at all and would have given it up by now.
Find an instructor they can bond with - it'll make all the difference.

This sounds like really good advice. I was wondering how they liked it before they moved? Maybe the new instructor is having a big impact. Maybe your DS is intimidated by the thought of having to test with someone he's not sure of so to speak.

I agree with Hdecker. I think I'd ask them if the new instructor has anything to do with their decision to quit.

 

[Swimnoid]

That's a tough decision. DD19 took from age 8 to about 13. She loved it. But she loved drama/singing more so eventually had to give it up. She stuck with it about a year after she got her black belt. She still talks about starting again though.

If I were in that situation I would try to talk him into getting his blackbelt since he's not too far away. The previous poster who talked about driving farther to find a better situation has a point too. But then again you dont want him to hate it and never want to start again either. I'm such a big help!