My 9 yr old wants to shave - advice please!

[mjkacmom]

A nose job is major surery with real risks, costs a lot of money (not covered by insurance in most cases) is becomming more common but is still far from the norm (I doubt you expect that she and most all of her friends will someday have nose jobs) and does not reverse itself.

Nose jobs are very common here (80% of the population are of Italian decent ). I know many who have had them in HS. They are usually covered by insurance (deviated septum), and if my kids want them, I'm fine with that. So far, we might not need them, although DH has an unfortunate nose I wouldn't wish on any girl, and although his sister had a nose job, it just wasn't good enough.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Nose jobs are very common here (80% of the population are of Italian decent ). I know many who have had them in HS. They are usually covered by insurance (deviated septum), and if my kids want them, I'm fine with that. So far, we might not need them, although DH has an unfortunate nose I wouldn't wish on any girl, and although his sister had a nose job, it just wasn't good enough.

I know they are becomming more common but I still don't think they are totally the norm. Maybe they are where you live though--so I stand corrected. Wow! That is amazing to me. In my life the vast majority of mothers I know (or have kown thoughout 6 states and 2 countries) assume someday their DDs will shave their legs but I have never known a one who assumes someday her DD will have a nose job. A few would not mind if their DDs did want a nose job, but it is not a foregone conclusion the way leg shaving tends to be.
To me "deviated septum" is not about appearance (though it can have that side effect) but about better health and comfort. Much the same way that braces can be just for prettier teeth but can also be because of true health/comfort issues such as a misaleigned jaw (after I had braces the headaches I had battled for years went away) or my DD's issue ion which she has a tooth come nearly an inch behind the others putting it close to the center of her mouth--not easy or comfortable to eat or talk with--the braces will correct a jaw issue and slowly drag that tooth in line with the others (after she had surgery to turn the tooth as it was also pointing baout 90 derees off and threatening to damage nerves and possibly bone). There will be a cosmetic effect from teh braces but it is not their primary purpose.

 

[mjkacmom]

I know they are becomming more common but I still don't think they are totally the norm. Maybe they are where you live though--so I stand corrected. Wow! That is amazing to me. In my life the vast majority of mothers I know (or have kown thoughout 6 states and 2 countries) assume someday their DDs will shave their legs but I have never known a one who assumes someday her DD will have a nose job. A few would not mind if their DDs did want a nose job, but it is not a foregone conclusion the way leg shaving tends to be.
To me "deviated septum" is not about appearance (though it can have that side effect) but about better health and comfort. Much the same way that braces can be just for prettier teeth but can also be because of true health/comfort issues such as a misaleigned jaw (after I had braces the headaches I had battled for years went away) or my DD's issue ion which she has a tooth come nearly an inch behind the others putting it close to the center of her mouth--not easy or comfortable to eat or talk with--the braces will correct a jaw issue and slowly drag that tooth in line with the others (after she had surgery to turn the tooth as it was also pointing baout 90 derees off and threatening to damage nerves and possibly bone). There will be a cosmetic effect from teh braces but it is not their primary purpose.

All of my kids will have braces, for cosmetic reasons (ds11 only has a little crowding in his bottom jaw, but will get them straightened). I had braces as a kid, but my wisdom teeth didn't come in until after I had children. They were perfectly healthy, but I had them removed, because my teeth started to shift. I also had my boys circumstized for cosmetic reasons!

 

[SnowWhite607]

Oh my gosh....periods, braces, nose jobs. Please, one thing at the time here!! I can only handle so much! LOL!

I have had to use a little shaver think on her unibrow for a few years now, not realy plucking the eyebrows but just getting rid of the hairs in the middle and a few underneath when her eyebrows start to grow onto her eyelids, LOL!

I dont know how she got so darn hairy!!

I agree with the PP who said that things didnt bother us back in the day......I am almost 42 so I grew up in the 70s and 80s. I have hairy arms, as does my mother (maybe thats how DD got so hairy?) but I dont remember it ever bothering me. I have never shaved it, bleached it or waxed it. I think I just shaved my legs cause everyone else was doing it too.

But I do remember when I was about 15 and I had acne and some boy said "Ew, what are those red bumps all over your face??' Of course he knew what they were but wanted to make me feel bad about it. I told my mom and she took me to the dermatologist and got some cream, meds, etc. Thinking back, I can imagine how devestated I would feel if she said "Oh just ignore him" like I had been telling DD about the people who say she has hairy legs and arms. I am glad that my mom did something about it and I never got teased about my complextion again.

 

[tar heel]

SnowWhite: It sounds like you're on the right track -- or will be when you get your daughter into her own room and bed and your DH in yours. I'm sure you know this, but your marriage will not survive your putting the child before the husband.

 

[angie@dvcstore]

I started shaving when i was 11 so if it bothers her then let her shave she'll feel better about herself

 

[SnowWhite607]

SnowWhite: It sounds like you're on the right track -- or will be when you get your daughter into her own room and bed and your DH in yours. I'm sure you know this, but your marriage will not survive your putting the child before the husband.

Okay, seriously, I dont want to get rude but way to take the thread off topic! No where in this thread did I ask for any opinions or judgements of my marriage, I was asking for SHAVING advice.

But thanks for your input, Dr Phil.

I have posted things on this board before but have not done so lately because it seems as though when I get good helpful responses, someone comes along and veers the conversation off course or is just downright rude and snarky.

I REALLY appreciate all the responses that were about shaving, etc. Now could we please jst get back to what to do about her arm hair and leave my marriage out of it? Geez.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Oh my gosh....periods, braces, nose jobs. Please, one thing at the time here!! I can only handle so much! LOL!

But I do remember when I was about 15 and I had acne and some boy said "Ew, what are those red bumps all over your face??' Of course he knew what they were but wanted to make me feel bad about it. I told my mom and she took me to the dermatologist and got some cream, meds, etc. Thinking back, I can imagine how devestated I would feel if she said "Oh just ignore him" like I had been telling DD about the people who say she has hairy legs and arms. I am glad that my mom did something about it and I never got teased about my complextion again.

I think you are making a very good decision

 

[SnowWhite607]

I think you are making a very good decision

Thanks....I took into account what everyone here said.....if I can do something about it, why wouldn;t I? Same thing as if my mom had NOT taken me to the doc when the boy made fun of my acne. I can imagine that I would have resented her for a long time for not helping me in some way.

 

[laurie31]

My DD13 shaved her arm hair once. I didn't notice it looking freaky or stubbly when it was growing back in, but she hasn't done it again.

You could let her shave her arms, and if she does let it grow back and it looks freaky for a bit (although I'll bet it won't), then she can wear long sleeves during that time, which is what she's already doing now, so...why not give it a try?