beating my head against the wall.
Don't you just hate it when people ask for your advice, and then they do exactly what they please and get themselves in hot water, and then whine to you about it?
I have very dear friends who make absolutely horrible, boneheaded decisions. These are the ultimate "can't see the forest for the trees/glass half full" kind of people. I think they must like taking money from their credit cards to live every month, and not having any savings.
I am in the financial services industry (mortgages).They come to me for my professional advice. I have secured mortgages for them 3 times in the last 6 yrs. I know their finances and their financial situation inside and out. They had been in dire financial circumstances for about the last 3 yrs, but recently were able to refinance their home, pay out a bunch of debt, and save a pile of money. Great! That would free up some cash to give them some breathing room and pay off some remaining debt. A month later, they decided they needed a new vehicle. No argument from me, the car they had was 10 yrs old and needed expensive work. Instead of buying a moderately priced vehicle, they went for the big, flashy expensive one with a huge payment for 7 yrs! They could have spent half as much for a brand new family vehicle, but I digress.
This weekend their other old car gave up the ghost, so again they are shopping for another new vehicle. Again, they are looking at spending twice as much as they need to because they get mesmerized by all the shiny gadgets. Needing to purchase another new vehicle is EXACTLY why I tried to get them to spend less on the first one, as in the space of 2 months they are now going to be up to $1000 a month in car payments, so they will be right back behind the 8 ball.
When we are upgrading things in our house, my friend always says "I'd like to do that, but we can't afford it", but what she can't see is if they bought less expensive toys, she COULD afford to do things a little at a time, like we do. She only sees the big project price, and doesn't realize that if she didn't buy that new laptop or Ipod, that would be money that goes towards a new kitchen counter. Personally, I just bought a (new to me) 5 yr old car last week, to replace a 9 yr old car that needed repairs. I paid cash, because I didn't want a car payment, and I bought what I could afford. I could care less about power this and that. Having money to finish my basement and add value to my home is more important to us than having an expensive vehicle in the driveway depreciating in value.
Anyway, this time I am keeping my trap shut. I don't have to drive it or pay for it. If their house falls down around them because they can't afford repairs, not my problem. It just bugs me when they solicit my professional opinion on their finances and then ignore everything. My only comment to her this morning was for her to budget out what they wanted to accomplish in the next 5 yrs (home repairs, replacing furniture, etc) and if they would be able to accomplish those goals with the new car payment, great. If not, then look to spend less on the payment. We all know she is going to buy the expensive model with the power windows/locks and dual moonroof instead of the base model for 5K less though.
I will just have to tell her not to talk to me about their finances anymore. Our family's have different financial priorities and I can't listen to her cry on the phone anymore because they don't have any money, when everytime they get a dollar ahead they have to spend it.
Don't you just hate it when people ask for your advice, and then they do exactly what they please and get themselves in hot water, and then whine to you about it?
I have very dear friends who make absolutely horrible, boneheaded decisions. These are the ultimate "can't see the forest for the trees/glass half full" kind of people. I think they must like taking money from their credit cards to live every month, and not having any savings.
I am in the financial services industry (mortgages).They come to me for my professional advice. I have secured mortgages for them 3 times in the last 6 yrs. I know their finances and their financial situation inside and out. They had been in dire financial circumstances for about the last 3 yrs, but recently were able to refinance their home, pay out a bunch of debt, and save a pile of money. Great! That would free up some cash to give them some breathing room and pay off some remaining debt. A month later, they decided they needed a new vehicle. No argument from me, the car they had was 10 yrs old and needed expensive work. Instead of buying a moderately priced vehicle, they went for the big, flashy expensive one with a huge payment for 7 yrs! They could have spent half as much for a brand new family vehicle, but I digress.
This weekend their other old car gave up the ghost, so again they are shopping for another new vehicle. Again, they are looking at spending twice as much as they need to because they get mesmerized by all the shiny gadgets. Needing to purchase another new vehicle is EXACTLY why I tried to get them to spend less on the first one, as in the space of 2 months they are now going to be up to $1000 a month in car payments, so they will be right back behind the 8 ball.
When we are upgrading things in our house, my friend always says "I'd like to do that, but we can't afford it", but what she can't see is if they bought less expensive toys, she COULD afford to do things a little at a time, like we do. She only sees the big project price, and doesn't realize that if she didn't buy that new laptop or Ipod, that would be money that goes towards a new kitchen counter. Personally, I just bought a (new to me) 5 yr old car last week, to replace a 9 yr old car that needed repairs. I paid cash, because I didn't want a car payment, and I bought what I could afford. I could care less about power this and that. Having money to finish my basement and add value to my home is more important to us than having an expensive vehicle in the driveway depreciating in value.
Anyway, this time I am keeping my trap shut. I don't have to drive it or pay for it. If their house falls down around them because they can't afford repairs, not my problem. It just bugs me when they solicit my professional opinion on their finances and then ignore everything. My only comment to her this morning was for her to budget out what they wanted to accomplish in the next 5 yrs (home repairs, replacing furniture, etc) and if they would be able to accomplish those goals with the new car payment, great. If not, then look to spend less on the payment. We all know she is going to buy the expensive model with the power windows/locks and dual moonroof instead of the base model for 5K less though.
I will just have to tell her not to talk to me about their finances anymore. Our family's have different financial priorities and I can't listen to her cry on the phone anymore because they don't have any money, when everytime they get a dollar ahead they have to spend it.
. She tries to save in some things that are good but when she gets the extra money instead of paying off debt she spends it in useless things!!! I decided that I will ask her not to mention anything related to their financial situation because if I hear anything more about it I will flip out. The worst part is that she makes comments like "you guys go on vacations so often" or "I wish I could afford ______ I wish I could get one". I just want to scream "HAVE YOU LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAID TO YOU??? BECAUSE IF YOU HAVE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO GET ONE JUST LIKE OURS".
