"Mushy" private calls at work

[Zurealsoon]

So I share office space with 4 individuals, we all have loved ones, spouses , etc and all but one of us make very infrequent calls to/from our kids and spouse. One of our co-workers is a very (I'm trying to find the right word here not make this sound anti-gay) flamboyant "in your face" "I'm gay". I like him, but every time he ends his cell call to his boyfriend-a couple times a day-which all of us can hear-He says "I love you!" and then makes a big "Mwahhh" smacking of his lips(((Shudder))).

Isn't that unprofessional?(No matter what profession you are in?)

 

[NMAmy]

Every time I talk to DH, DD, or my mom at work, I end the call with "I love you." Not mushy, baby talk kind of thing but I like to end calls to my loved ones this way, no matter where I am. And, yes, I share office space with others.

I'm not trying to flame you, really, but is it because he's gay that it bothers you? Would it bother you if one of your straight co-workers ended their calls with "I Love you"? Is the entire call a mushy, lovey dovey kind of call or just an I love you and the kissing sound tacked on the end?

I would get annoyed with several of the mushy, lovey dovey kind of calls but it wouldn't bother me that someone said I love you when they were saying goodbye. We don't leave our personal life completely at the door when we come to work in the morning.

 

[Nancy]

First off, I think it is unprofessional to get personal phone calls at work. I would never call my husband at work unless it is for an important reason; like one of the kids got hurt and we're heading to the ER, or I can't leave wrok, can you pick them up or something to that affect. We would never call just to chit chat. My youngest DD calls me when she gets home from school (we have a registered sexual predator in the neighborhood, and I feel better if she calls) and they get instructions on what to start for dinner. Otherwise I want no phone calls unless it is an emergency.

So, saying I love you at the end of a call is fine, if you are getting personal calls at work, but making a loud smacky sound is very tacky, no matter who is making the noise.

 

[hugsquared]

While I don't mind private phone calls at work, they should be just that...PRIVATE! What I'm getting from the OP is that is not just the "I love you" at the end, but he's making a production out of it...especially with the giant kiss at the end. It would bother me no matter if they were straight, gay or just crooked. Personal is just that, personal, not for the entire office to hear and there is a way to lower your voice and keep conversations private.

 

[TnKrBeLlA012]

I think that it would be annoying having to hear that everyday. To say I love you is fine but the kissing is a little extreme. Gay or straight it is unprofessional. It sounds like the person is in a new relationship or may have some insecurities. When I am at work I do get calls from my kids. I keep it brief and say goodbye. They know I love them. My husband would only call if it was an emergency. I guess I am one of those people that does not require the words I love you after every phone conversation. After 20 years I believe it is understood. Now if my 3yr. old calls I do change my voice. I may even give her a kiss and say a mushy, "I love you". But very quietly.

 

[pearlieq]

Neither my employer nor I ever saw anything wrong with reasonable personal calls. When you're somewhere 8-10 hours a day, you do occasionally need to coordinate with the world around you. DH and I would check in at least once a day, sometimes to coordinate leaving times and dinner, sometimes with a question. Nothing wrong with it as long as it's not being abused.

Of course etiquette would dictate that you keep your voice down and refrain from most goopy mushiness. "I love you" at the end of the call is fine--the kissy sound, not so much.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I think that the big production is a bit much!!!!
Ewww!!!

Is this a closed office, or are customers/clients ever around?


I think it is not professional/acceptable, strait, gay, or whatever...
I am thinking that the OP mentioned the fact that this person is gay, because they suspect that this person is overtly trying to be flamboyant and to flaunt it, for that very reason.

Unfortunately, I think that the OP should have just made a slight mention of this at the end of their post. The way they presented it may just backfire here!

 

[Serena]

I would try to make a joke out of it, next time it happens. Tell him to stop cause he's giving you all cavities from the sugar in his goodbyes.

 

[Jennasis]

People being in love never bothers me. But that's just me. I can see how it might be distracting to you or even annoying. But no, it wouldn't bother me, nor do I find it unprofessional.

Unprofessional would be using time at work on your office computer to surf the DIS (which I myself have done!).

 

[Missy1961]

I bet he knows that it bothers you, so that's why he's making such a production out of it. I'd rather hear someone make mushy lovey dovey noises to their loved one then one side of a fight.

 

[disykat]

I don't think one "I love you...Mwaaah" at the end of each call would bug me much, (It sounds like something theatrical not intimate) but I'd be bothered if there was a bunch of giggles and ongoing "oh you stop that! giggle giggle" type stuff.

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I couldn't care less how someone rolls (to quote the expression my DD taught me... ), but I think that the mushiness in a professional setting is a bit much. The phone call is one thing, and an "I love you" is fine, but the loud kiss would get me. I wouldn't make a big deal about it, though, and would probably go the lighthearted teasing route if I said anything. Afterall it's not a if you're being forced to listen to nastiness, ie them arguing day after day.

 

[TDC Nala]

yeah, it'd bug me because gay or straight I think this stuff ought to be kept private. But I'm in the vast minority and I try to never say anything. I don't always succeed, so I have a reputation as a killjoy. Don't get that reputation for yourself.

 

[DebbieB]

It's hard in close quarters. There's a guy on the other side of my cube and I sometimes hear private conversations between him and his wife or his friends. It was actually humorous when he and his wife were expecting their first and he was calling her every hour to check in on her. When my mom was terminally ill a couple of months ago, he heard some of my conversations and came over and said to be "I didn't mean to be nosey, but are you OK?". He ended up being a good friend during that difficult time. So it's important to consider those around you, no matter how quiet you try to be, they will hear it. If it's something really personal that you don't want others to hear, find an empty office or conference room.

 

[Zurealsoon]

It's not the "I lve you" that's bothering me....its the sound of a big kiss-I guess you have to hear it.

 

[eeyore kelly]

I agree with OP the kissy noise is a bit much. Icky

 

[Chuck S]

It's better than "I love you more...no, I love you more...no, I love you more...giggle giggle", I heard that all the time when ever my former boss' wife would call the office. We also had a female loud phone kisser, and truthfully I think the kissy thing is a pretty common closure to a phone conversation...I'll take it any day over "I love you more" fans.

 

[Lisa F]

I try to mind my own business when people around me are on the phone, whether it is a personal or business phone conversation. I guess I just feel like it's polite to tune it out.

 

[Pugdog007]

It's inappropriate and unprofessional. In my experience, those that flaunt the relationship... and I've worked with 2 people like this... are the first to scream discrimination when something doesn't go their way. It's almost like they're putting it out there so that it can be used to their advantage at some point, if needed. Again, my experience and my opinion.

 

[MrsPete]

So I share office space with 4 individuals, we all have loved ones, spouses , etc and all but one of us make very infrequent calls to/from our kids and spouse. One of our co-workers is a very (I'm trying to find the right word here not make this sound anti-gay) flamboyant "in your face" "I'm gay". I like him, but every time he ends his cell call to his boyfriend-a couple times a day-which all of us can hear-He says "I love you!" and then makes a big "Mwahhh" smacking of his lips(((Shudder))).

Isn't that unprofessional?(No matter what profession you are in?)

Not only is this unprofessional, it's SEXUAL HARASSMENT. You don't have to be touched to be harassed.

I googled it just to check, and here's what I found:

The foundation of workplace harassment law is the theory that harassment is itself discrimination: the denial to certain people of a particular kind of employment benefit -- a tolerable work environment -- based on their race, sex, and so on. This theory is equally applicable to other discrimination statutes, including laws that bar discrimination against patrons of places of public accommodation, such as libraries, restaurants, bookstores, and the like.

Some statutes make this explicit, prohibiting, for instance, "communication of a sexual nature" that creates "an intimidating, hostile, or offensive . . . public accommodations . . . environment." 1 Other statutes that speak only of discrimination have also been interpreted as barring harassment: For instance,

So since you're being FORCED to listen to this person's conversation, your work environment is -- I hope only in this one circumstance -- being made untolerable.

Assuming you get along with this person and just want to see this particular habit stop, I'd suggest a google search to find the law for your particular state. Highlight the appropriate details and leave it on his desk. Hopefully that'll stop the behavior.