Multigenerational family trip

[jlundeen]

Hello, everyone!

I'm helping plan a trip for a friend, and am looking for information about traveling with young kids as well as the grandparents: Pros, Cons.

Anyone have suggestions, success stories, horror stories, what worked, what didn't? I appreciate your input!

Jeanne

 

[MNDisneyMommy]

We went just this last October with two sets of grandparents, my brother and sister-in-law, and our two young children (almost 4 and just turned 1). 10 people total.

It was a wonderful trip. We had a few rough patches but that was to be expected on a big trip, and the memories are truly priceless. (My father recently died in an unexpected accident, and we are SO GLAD we didn't wait until the kids were older). My husband, brother, and sister-in-law and I have been to Disney quite a few times before we had kids. The two grandparent sets hadn't been there in ages. Also, we plan to take our kids quite a few times (we're DVC members) as they grow up, so this wasn't the once in a lifetime trip.

Pros:

• Lots of hands to help with kids. Lots of different folks so there was always someone to hang out with the kids instead of go on a ride.
• Disney is so amazing at having things that appeal to all ages. All 10 of us went on many of the same rides, enjoyed meals at the same places, etc. You really just don't get that anywhere else.
  
• Disney makes it easy to get group pictures and do things as a big group (ADRs, FPs, etc)
• Different things made magic for different people, but then you got to see it through their eyes - so maybe the kids didn't love Crystal Palace that much, but my dad actually got up and bounced with Tigger. Or maybe my husband and I think Small World is boring but our 1 year old thought it was heaven on earth. That kind of thing.

Cons:

• Herding that many people, getting 10 person ADRs and FP times to line up, etc - it was a lot of work for me!
• Family politics - which grandparent does which kid sit with for which ride, or who babysits, or who buys the kid what...some of that.
• People got tired at different times, and some were better about taking breaks when needed than others. We emphasized over and over that if folks wanted to grab a snack, drink, shop, etc they could split off from the group and meet up later with no drama.

Tips:

• We had traveled as a group before (and we spend a lot of time together anyway), so we knew we got along well enough to do this.
• There was one leader (me), and everyone was ok deferring to me for what we did during our group times. I also got all the ADRs and FPs for everyone, set up some touring plans so I knew where we were all going, and figured out what the kids were doing while adults rode thrill rides, etc.
  
• I solicited input from everyone - what was their 2-3 must do items, what would they not ride, and I made the touring plans based off that. We got to everyone's must do items, which I was really happy about!
• I sent out a newsletter via email with reminders, things people needed to do, etc. when we hit major planning deadlines.
• We also used the newsletter to set expectations upfront - mostly, we would spend the morning as a group, have lunch as a group, and then there would be a break in the afternoon. Breaks were hotel time for us. People could keep touring, come back to our room (we had a villa), or relax on their own. We had group plans from about 4-7 again but they were very optional, about half the time we had company and half not. We also set limits on who could buy what for the kids and how those items got back home.
  
• We set up rules for the kids that everyone was supposed to follow (try new things at least once, quiet time after lunch, and when one person goes potty everyone goes potty were our big group rules).
  
• I set out clear directions for the day - we will start at this place at this time, we will see these attractions in this order using these FP, we will eat lunch here, and then you can do whatever. We never split up without everyone confirming they knew the next group time. I usually did this via text message so people could double check later too.
  
• We had a 2 bedroom DVC villa, and my brother and sister in law stayed in one of the bedrooms. We paid for their room and they helped us with the kids. They were WONDERFUL. It made the trip SO much more pleasant. They would help us leave on time in the morning, set out tinkerbell gifts, help with getting the kids/strollers back to the room, grabbing snacks, naptimes, bedtimes, etc.
• We also had a nice big living room in the villa, and that gave us a gathering place outside the parks - it was not a need, but it was nice and we used it!
• Make sure Disney sets up the MDE accounts properly with links to each other done right. For example, in the grandparent sets, one grandparent had an account and their spouses just used the same one so we avoided making duplicates of people.
• Be flexible! Don't stress if you miss something. Remember its about being together, not seeing everything. (I must have said this in my head about 100 times a day).
  
• Be honest with the grandparents about what kind of experience rides are - both my mom and mother-in-law were quite grumpy with my husband after getting off Test Track.
• We planned one TS meal a day (usually lunch), breakfasts were always on your own, and we had a few special dinners.
  
• We all have iPhones, so we used Photo Stream to share pictures. I would download the MM pictures and upload them to the Stream too, so everyone could share them. It worked very well!!

I think the biggest reasons we all viewed the trip so positively were that we all get along & have traveled together before, we had a good compromise of together time and split time, and there was a consensus leader who made decisions for the group and everyone was OK with that.

Also, I think if it was a once in a lifetime trip, I'd plan to stay longer - everything takes longer with a big group. We were there Sat-Sat and it would have been a few days too short if we needed to see every attraction on this one trip.

I hope some of this at least helps!

 

[Nancyg56]

I agree with the above poster, especially when it comes to setting expectations, we travel as a family and that mean multigenerational groups, as well as diverse couples. Done gave kids others do not, and we know that dkk are different.

I plan ts dinners as well as a few breakfasts. I also plan the FP. For all of us, but we know that in between you can do what you want. No command performances.

I ask everyone what is important to them, what they would like to go snd where they want to eat, as well as if anyone wants alone time meals or shows booked.

It is clear that in regards to the kids, parents trump all of us, no exceotikns

 

[SnipsNSnails]

We traveled last time with 4 generations and will be doing so again, though my grandfather isn't with us anymore. Having one central planner is essential. I consult everyone about restaurants and rides and then fit it all together with park hours, crowd calendars, and touring plans. My parents and grandma are very easy going about it and very helpful with the kids. Last time my youngest was 2 and my mom took him back for a nap a couple times while we stayed in the park with the oldest. A very important thing is to have a plan. That keeps everyone going in the same direction. Be willing to be flexible though. If it's raining and you are miserable, go back and get dry even if you haven't finished. Be willing to go separate ways if needed. My oldest had a meltdown one morning so the best way to deal with it was for hubby to stay and calm him down and the rest of us to get out of the way. We were headed to Epcot and realized it didn't make much sense for the 2 yo and went to MK instead. After the meltdown was resolved they continued on to Epcot where we met back up at lunch. My grandparents didn't go with us to MNSSHP opting for an early evening at the resort. This time my inlaws will also be joining us for a few days so flexibility will be key with 9 people. If you have several people who want to be the chief, run the other way or tour separately with a few shared meals. We did USO a little over a year ago with my parents, grandma, and brother's family. SIL is her way or the highway with little regard for our children in that equation, only hers, and that trip was not pleasant. My mom spent a good deal of time in the hotel with SIL and the baby who had to follow a rigid napping and eating schedule and missed out on a lot with the rest of us. It seemed like we stopped every 5 minutes and in general spent a lot of time doing nothing because she made it clear that she would not follow a touring plan, least of all if I made it!

 

[Nancyg56]

We traveled last time with 4 generations and will be doing so again, though my grandfather isn't with us anymore. Having one central planner is essential. I consult everyone about restaurants and rides and then fit it all together with park hours, crowd calendars, and touring plans. My parents and grandma are very easy going about it and very helpful with the kids. Last time my youngest was 2 and my mom took him back for a nap a couple times while we stayed in the park with the oldest. A very important thing is to have a plan. That keeps everyone going in the same direction. Be willing to be flexible though. If it's raining and you are miserable, go back and get dry even if you haven't finished. Be willing to go separate ways if needed. My oldest had a meltdown one morning so the best way to deal with it was for hubby to stay and calm him down and the rest of us to get out of the way. We were headed to Epcot and realized it didn't make much sense for the 2 yo and went to MK instead. After the meltdown was resolved they continued on to Epcot where we met back up at lunch. My grandparents didn't go with us to MNSSHP opting for an early evening at the resort. This time my inlaws will also be joining us for a few days so flexibility will be key with 9 people. If you have several people who want to be the chief, run the other way or tour separately with a few shared meals. We did USO a little over a year ago with my parents, grandma, and brother's family. SIL is her way or the highway with little regard for our children in that equation, only hers, and that trip was not pleasant. My mom spent a good deal of time in the hotel with SIL and the baby who had to follow a rigid napping and eating schedule and missed out on a lot with the rest of us. It seemed like we stopped every 5 minutes and in general spent a lot of time doing nothing because she made it clear that she would not follow a touring plan, least of all if I made it!

Yes, those "my way" folks are pretty obnoxious! My SIL tried to "direct traffic" on our first family trip back to Disney because she was a veteran traveler. We knew where we wanted to stay and that we wanted the DDP. Holy Moly. My dd was making the travel arrangements, and finally had enough. I had to step I. And explain she was an invited guest, and while we would respect some of her wishes, she was not going to derail our Kady's first visit. She was welcome to join us or not, but we were not changing out lodging, our level of stay or out choice to have the DDP.

She did her best, but I was informed that if she ever came with us again, I would bad going alone with her. Big ol mutiny!

 

[pigletgirl]

We have a multi generational trip coming up in December. It'll be both sets of grandparents (4), all of my siblings (5, plus my brother's fiance), DH's brother and his wife and their two small kids (4)... so we're up to 14. We've decided to go over New Years and we're all in different resorts for different budgets, party size, etc. And to have some time with just our family without everyone else. I've also been dubbed the "cruise director", but essentially that's for being in charge of ADR's, FP's, and any miscellaneous things we may want and/or need.

It's going to be crazy and fun. I'm sure this year will fly by with planning all of it!